AN: *peeks head out from behind a corner* Hey guys. Yes, I am aware that it isn't the 16th yet. However, I have a huge paper due on Monday and a smaller paper due on Tuesday, so there was no way I would be able to get it out on time. and rather than make you guys wait even longer, I decided to post it early. Even though it's a little short, it's still a nice surprise, right? Also, I ask you all to please keep my beta, SwallowedxInxThexSea, and my friend Oriana de la Rose in your thoughts and prayers. Rachel is suffering from the swine (again!) and Ori is going through a tough time. I really hope everything gets better for both of you!
Disclaimer: I still own nothing. Not Twilight or anything else that I make tiny references to. (You guys get major points if you notice any of those references, btw. They're really miniscule.)
(Re-cap of Part One)
"What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing his hands up and down my arms to keep me from getting too cold.
"As soon as we get back, those two will be going at it like rabbits," I said. "I don't want to be around that. But I refuse to go home." I sighed. "This sucks."
"Stay with me," Edward offered. I looked up at him, confused.
Did he just say what I think he said?
Chapter 9 – Might Tell You Tonight (Part Two)
BPOV
"Spend the night at my place," he said again.
Holy fuck, he did.
"No, Edward, I couldn't," I said quickly. "It's not fair to you and-"
"Bella, it's fine. I want you to come."
And then my mind went straight to the gutter. Images of Edward from my dream popped instantly back into my mind.
"Bella, beautiful Bella. Let me do this for you. Let me make you feel good…"
I shook my head to get rid of those images. I couldn't deal with that right then.
"Edward, I can't," I said.
I can't tell you that I love you because I don't want things to change.
That's really what it came down to in the end. I loved what we had. I needed to know that he would be around and there was no guarantee that he wouldn't leave me in a month, a year, two years…
Edward lifted my chin and made me look into his deep, cavernous green eyes. "Please, Bella? For me?" he asked softly.
I sighed. "As long as you're sure," I said, "and that I'm in no way inconveniencing you or putting you out and that I won't hinder any of your plans."
"Never."
I sighed again. "Then yes, I would love to stay at your place tonight. Lord knows Thumper and the Energizer Bunny won't be getting any sleep tonight." Edward and I walked over to the car to find my two best friends making out in the backseat. I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. "See? I told you. They have no idea about anything that's going on outside their bubble."
"Let's just get them home," Edward said as he opened the passenger side door for me.
It took twenty minutes to get back to Alice and Jasper's place with the traffic, but only took two minutes for things to get really uncomfortable.
"Oh, Jasper," Alice moaned when they finally came up for breath.
"Tell me what you want, baby," Jasper replied.
I kept my head facing front, not needing the visuals to go with the audio. Edward cleared his throat and turned on the radio, giving the two of us a little bit of a distraction from the foreplay going on in the back of the car.
At least I hoped it was only foreplay… I didn't want to chance looking back to find out.
The sounds got louder as we went.
"Edward," I said hesitantly. "Do you think you could drive any faster without getting pulled over?"
His eyes glanced down at the speedometer. I could feel the car accelerate a bit, but still not a lot. "That's as much as I can go," he said apologetically. "But I would if I could get away with it."
I nodded and sighed as I heard Jasper groan.
I was out of the car as soon as Edward put it in park. The key was in the lock as soon as I got to the door and I ran in to quickly grab the overnight bag I had packed. When I got back to the front door, I saw Edward pulling Jasper out of the car by the shoulders.
"Come on, lover boy," he said. "Take your woman inside."
Jasper almost took a punch at Edward before he realized exactly where they were. Then he grinned and reached into the car to pull Alice out. He heaved her over his shoulder and ran into the house, Alice squealing the entire way.
I shut the door behind them and sighed, leaning against the sturdy wood. Edward was leaning against the hood of the car, looking up at me.
"Freedom," I gasped before bursting out laughing. Edward joined seconds later. I tried to walk down the stairs, still laughing, but stumbled on the last one. Edward caught me in his arms before I made contact with the ground. "Thanks," I said, looking up at him.
"Anytime, Bella," he said. "Now let's get out of here." He took out his cell phone and quickly dialed the number for a cab service, not wanting to use Jasper's car.
We had to wait almost ten minutes for the cab. Edward noticed I was shivering since my outfit – designed to make him sweat – didn't really cover much of my body.
"Are you alright, Bella?" he asked.
"Yeah, fine," I said, bouncing a little on the balls of my feet to keep the blood flowing.
"No, you're not," he sighed. He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "There. That will help a little," he said, his mouth right by my ear.
I could feel his erection, still very prominent, behind me. The urge to grind against him again was overwhelming, but somehow I resisted. It was decidedly more awkward to do that on a city sidewalk in the middle of the night stone-cold sober than in the middle of a dance floor at a club with ridiculously loud music pumping out of the speakers.
Having his arms around me did help keep out the cold however. I was grateful for that.
"Thank you, by the way," I said quietly.
"For this? You're welcome," he said.
"Well, yeah, but not just this," I said. "For wearing this." I pulled gently on his shirt. "It didn't really help to find you like I'd hoped, but it still meant a lot to me."
"Well, you're welcome for that as well," he said. "And did I tell you just how wonderful you look tonight? You are stunning, Bella."
I blushed, but couldn't say anything in response. Thankfully the cab showed up then and Edward helped me in before telling the driver where we were headed.
We were silent during the drive, a sudden burst electricity flowing between us. Edward kept an arm around my shoulders to help me warm up faster. It felt right being there with him, like that. I felt safe and content. I never wanted to leave. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt when I was with James.
This was where I belonged.
There was no questioning that fact, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell Edward. What if he realized he didn't really love me? What if what he really loved was the chase and grew bored of me?
I had a feeling I was just being irrational and letting my insecurities take over, but I couldn't help it. I didn't understand why he would want me out of any other woman. What was so special about me?
I looked up to see his eyes focused on me. His expression was a mixture of adoration and ecstasy. I blushed and smiled shyly up at him. It was clear that he was happy to be with me, but the reason behind it was still a mystery to me.
"Are you still cold?" he asked quietly, as if he was afraid to disturb the silence.
"No, I'm okay," I answered honestly. The heat from his body was very nice and very welcome. The fact that his arm was around my shoulders helped so that it wasn't just one side of my body getting the heat. "It'll be nice to have the warmth in your apartment, though."
"You'll also have more than two scraps of clothing on," he teased, tugging on the strap of my top. "It'll be easier to warm up that way."
"Oh, come on," I said, going off his playfulness. "You know you like it."
Edward's smile grew and went crooked. If I had been standing, my knees would have gone weak at the sight of it, but thankfully I was sitting and couldn't react visibly. "Well, then I may just have to hide those pajamas of yours," he said, trying to pull them out of my hands.
I tightened my grip on the bag and glared at him. "Just because I rubbed my ass on your junk for half the night does not give you license to steal my clothing," I said in the most matter-of-fact tone I could manage.
He cocked an eyebrow at me, still smiling that crooked smile. "And what exactly would I have to do to gain that license?"
I tried to come up with a witty response to that, but I finally lost my control. His words had pulled the metaphorical rug out from under me and now I was sprawled on the floor with nothing to say.
"Just don't do it," I finally sputtered.
Edward grinned, sensing his victory. He placed a quick kiss on the top of my head. "I won't, I promise," he said.
The driver dropped us off right in front of Edward's building. I tried to pay for the cab but Edward, being an inexhaustible gentleman, grabbed my hands and refused to let me. He pulled cash out of his wallet and handed it to the cabbie. He got out of the car first before reaching in to take my hand and help me out.
Without missing a beat, Edward had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and my body tucked into his side to keep me warm for the short walk. I smiled and let him, reveling in the feel of his body against mine. He relaxed a bit once we were inside, but his arm stayed around me as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Edward nodded at the security guard and I waved, trying to be polite. The man nodded back with a small smile. He obviously thought we were together.
My mind jumped to the thought of us walking into the building like that, together, more often. To be strolling in with Edward's arm around me and the thought that I would be spending even more time with him. I smiled at the thought and, of course, Edward noticed.
"What are you smiling at?" he asked as we climbed the stairs.
"Nothing, just thinking about stuff," I said ambiguously. I didn't want to tell him that I was secretly fantasizing about him throwing me over his shoulder and hauling me up the stairs to perform unspeakable acts which I would thoroughly enjoy.
"Stuff, huh? What kind of stuff?"
"Happy stuff."
"Must be to get you to smile like that," he said. Then his voice dropped to a murmur as if he didn't want me to hear the next thing he said. "You look beautiful when you smile like that."
I blushed. Thankfully I didn't need to come up with a response because we'd reached the door of his apartment. He quickly fished his key out of his pocket and ushered me out of the hallway.
It was remarkably different than what I remembered. It had resembled a hotel room the last time I'd been there; furnished, but barely lived in. He hadn't even had much furniture beyond the necessities. The walls had been all white. Everything was neat, like it hadn't been used.
Now as I looked around, I knew that whatever people were saying I did to change him was a good thing. Before, there was only one decoration in the entire house: the picture and article about his parents. As I looked around, I couldn't find a single wall that didn't have some picture of people he loved. It was evident that the placement of each was carefully thought out and planned thoroughly. The walls were still white, but that didn't matter since there were so many pictures.
There were magazines and knickknacks scattered throughout the living area. He'd mentioned to me before that he had some things from his parents just stored in boxes; he must have finally gone through them. I saw a stray Xbox controller lying near the entertainment stand.
The picture of his parents was still in the same spot, but it was now flanked by two other, smaller pictures. One was a professional photograph from their wedding, though not posed. Edward looked exactly like his father, except for the hair. His hair was from his mother. They both looked radiant, looking into each other's eyes and smiling. They were lost in each other. It was beautiful. The other was clearly taken when Edward was born. His mother was lying in a hospital bed, a tiny bundle in her arms, with Edward Sr. standing over her. I could barely see a small tuft of bronze hair poking out of the blanket. They looked exhausted, but overjoyed. Both pictures went so well with the middle picture.
It was a black and white candid photo of Edward's parents. They looked a little younger than when they were married; it was probably taken around college. Edward Sr. was lifting Elizabeth into the air while she held onto his shoulders. She was shocked – he must have done it without warning – but she looked happy. He was smiling as well.
The thought of a love like that coming to a halt because of one asshole's decision to drive after drinking was devastating.
I hadn't even noticed that I'd frozen until Edward called my name nervously.
"Edward, this is wonderful," I said, looking at him, my smile much wider than before. "It looks great."
He breathed out a sigh of relief. "I think so too," he said with a wry smile. "But I think anything would have been an improvement over the old whitewashed walls."
I laughed and dropped onto his couch. "Yeah, you've got that right," I said.
"This isn't the only room that's different you know," he noted.
"Are you sure you did all this?" I asked, teasing him. "It wasn't terrifying space monkeys that took over the design process?"
"Go look," he said, grumbling. "Don't feed the terrifying space monkeys. They bite."
I laughed and jumped up to see the rest of the apartment. A spot of color caught my eye and I bounded into the kitchen to see cheery yellow walls and some unwashed dishes in the sink. I smirked, knowing that three months ago he had to have every dish cleaned as soon as he'd finished using it.
The hallway was light beige, just enough of a contrast from the white to count as color in comparison, but not overwhelming. Pictures of Edward and Emmett over the years, from when they were stumbling toddlers to a fairly recent photo of Emmett and Rose, were scattered along the length of the hall. I peeked into the guest room and saw a dark color permeating the walls, but I couldn't put a finger on the exact shade. The bathroom was done in a nice beach theme.
I turned back to Edward. "It looks great," I said. "It shows that you put in a lot of effort."
"Well, if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right," he commented with a shrug. "There is one room you missed." He indicated the closed door to his bedroom.
I felt myself flush and my breath hitch. I hadn't seen his bedroom the last time I was here, so I felt a little apprehensive. "I don't really have anything to compare it to," I noted.
Edward sighed. "Yeah, that's true. You could still look if you want."
"No, that's okay," I said quickly. "It's your space, I don't want to intrude."
"You wouldn't be intruding…"
"It's fine, Edward," I said. "But I am going to take over your bathroom for a little while. I am no longer near Alice or a club, so the outfit is no longer needed. It's time for pajamas."
He chuckled and shook his head. "Go right ahead. I'm just going to grab a snack. You want anything?"
"No, I'm good, thanks," I answered before slipping into the bathroom.
I took a minute to just get my breathing in check. It had finally sunk in sometime during my inspection that I was in Edward's apartment with him. Alone with him. I needed to get past the initial shock of being here before I could even bring myself to change.
I splashed a little water on my face to waken myself up and scrubbed off my makeup. It felt as if I was rubbing off some unknown layer of uncertainty and hesitancy. I no longer saw any reason to be worried about being here with Edward.
I walked back into the living area, feeling refreshed, to see Edward lounging on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, flipping through channels on the television. I flopped down next to him and stole the remote.
We spent the next couple hours just sitting on his couch watching TV and throwing popcorn at one another. I was getting tired, but I didn't want to give up spending time with him.
I must have fallen asleep, though, because I came to enough to feel him pick me up and carry me to his room. I was too tired to care that he was putting me down in his bed. However, I was also out of it enough to not remember my brain filter.
When Edward pulled away after he laid me on the bed, I held onto his shirt and pulled him back.
"Don't go," I mumbled.
"What was that?" he whispered.
"Stay," I said, pulling on his shirt to make my point.
"Okay," Edward said. "Just let me get ready." He gently pried my hands off.
He came back a few minutes later and lay next to me on the bed. It was cold, so I scooted over to his side and he carefully put his arm around me. The last thing I was aware of before falling asleep was the scent of Edward, surrounding me, filling me.
His hand slowly encircled my waist, pulling me closer to him. I could feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric of my clothes.
"Bella," he whispered. "I love you."
"Edward," I groaned. "Edward, don't leave me." My hands were gripping the front of his shirt as if my life depended on it. "Please, promise me. You have to, Edward…"
"I'll be here, my Bella," he said. His free hand came up to gently caress my cheek. "Always for you."
"I love you, Edward," I sighed, leaning into him and resting my cheek on his chest. His arms wrapped around me and I felt safe, protected.
But then the warmth was gone. There was only cold.
My eyes jerked open and I looked down at myself to see a beautiful white gown flowing around me. My wedding? I thought. It all clicked into place and I rushed out to see my father waiting for me.
"Glad to see you so happy, Isabella," he said with a smile. I couldn't even be mad at him for using my full name.
When the doors opened to reveal the beautiful wedding scene, I couldn't focus on anything other than the man at the altar. Instantly, the warmth was back. Edward was beaming at me from the front of the church. I wanted to run to him, but I couldn't. My father held me back and led me slowly down the aisle.
I kept eye contact with Edward the entire time. Nothing other than his smile could draw my attention.
"Edward," I whispered. I doubted he could hear me, but I said it anyway. "I love you."
"Come to me. Be mine, Isabella," he said and I froze.
His voice was wrong. That wasn't the voice that made me feel safe. That wasn't Edward's voice.
His smile morphed into a smirk and his face transformed into the owner of the voice.
"You are mine, Isabella," James crooned.
I couldn't move. I was paralyzed with fear. My father kept moving toward the altar as if my arm were still entwined with his. No one else in the room seemed to think that anything was wrong. But I was terrified.
"Edward?" I called softly. "Edward, where are you?"
James took the few steps off the altar and stalked toward me. "What's the matter? You love me, Isabella," he said.
"Get away from me," I said weakly. I still couldn't move my feet. I sank to the floor, landing roughly on my knees. "Edward, please."
"You belong to me," James growled. "There is no one else."
I finally found the will to move and skittered backwards, only to fall into a hole that hadn't been there mere seconds before. There was blackness surrounding me for some time before I felt solid ground collide with my back.
At first it looked like the bottom of a hole. It was dark and there were no distinguishing characteristics. The noise of traffic in the background eventually tipped me off to where I was.
I was back in the alley, back on that fateful night.
I launched myself up and ran to the end of the stretch, only to find a dead end. Swearing, I turned and raced to the other end, but ran into something hard.
"Well, hello there," James said sweetly into my ear. "How nice. I didn't even have to try to get you in my arms." His mouth connected with my neck in wet, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on my neck. "You're mine, Isabella. There's no escape." His grip tightened on my arms and he shoved me against the wall, pressing himself against me.
I screamed and jolted up in bed, panting.
"Bella? Bella! What's wrong?" Edward's voice came from beside me. I looked over to see his eyes full of concern, trying to figure out what was wrong.
I collapsed into him and sobbed into his shirt, clinging to him for all I was worth.
"I can't do it, Edward," I cried. "I can't do it anymore."
"What do you mean? What are you talking about, Bella? What's wrong?" he asked. His voice was worried, panicked about my breakdown.
I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, praying my voice would stay steady for what I needed to say to him. "I love you, Edward. I'm sick of denying it. I love you and I want to be with you."
AN: So, that was the second cliffhanger in two chapters.... This one was actually planned though. I didn't have another way to possibly end this chapter. I'd love to know what everyone thought about it! Especially all you lurkers who have yet to surface. Reviews are possibly the best thing ever and they keep me going. :)
Next chapter: How does Edward react???
Now, I am participating in NaNoWriMo until the end of November (I'm currently at 20,500 words at the moment and about a day behind, if anyone cares). That means that the next chapter won't be out until the second week of December at the earliest. It all depends on my workload though. Keep checking my profile for updates!
-Kaylee
