Well this chapter clearly took forever to write. So last we knew Bella was fighting wolves to get some, but not all, of the pieces of Edward back. Jasper acts like a dick and it totally continues in this chapter and Bella has the realization she actually likes being human. Go fig.

Of course all this brain goo belongs to Stephanie Meyer, I'm just having fun.

Cheers,

Dixie Lou

Part II

6

I found Jasper in the living room, next to Edward's piano. The other Cullens were suspiciously absent of the house. I dressed as he'd asked, including the Kevlar vest, which hugged my body in an inflexible embrace. The bag he'd heaved at me was slung awkwardly over my shoulder. "Jasper? Where's Alice and everyone?"

"Gone," he said.

"So it's just us?" I asked, slinging the heavy bag to the floor.

"For now," he said.

Jasper ran his fingers over the silent keyboard, plucking soft notes from the Düsseldorf. I felt anger flare, "Don't," I said.

"Don't what?" he asked.

"Don't touch the piano. That's his. That's Edward's."

"Ah," he mused, shutting the shiny black fall, "So you remember his name."

"What're you talking about?" I sputtered, "Of course I remember his name."

"Funny," he said as he knelt toward the bag of weapons on the floor, "With the way you acted yesterday I thought you'd forgotten all about him. Negotiating with wolves. Criticizing our family. Stabbing me in the foot…very questionable behavior." He pulled out a large gun and held it up for inspection.

"Fuck you," I spat.

"Fuck me?" he laughed quietly, "Yes, I suppose so. I should have said something earlier, stopped Edward when I had the chance." He sighed, standing with the gun in hand, "But now he's gone. Chopped to pieces. And you're all I have to bring my brother back. Fuck me. But fuck you too, Human."

"Don't call me that, I have a name." I hissed, "You think I wanted this?"

"No," Jasper pointed his brilliant yellow eyes at me, "But you brought all of this down on my family."

I stepped back, suddenly afraid of being alone with Jasper, "Wait a minute! Where's Carlisle?" I held my hands up defensively.

He chuckled, "I'm not going to hurt you Human. Not intentionally anyway."

"Don't call me that!" I shouted, "What are you talking about?" I cut halfway across the living room by the time I finished my sentence. Not that any amount of space or designer furniture could protect me from Jasper Hale.

"Training," his automatic pistol gave an oily click, "Unfortunately you're my brother's chosen savior. But, I'm sorry for saying; you're green enough to piss grass. You need to be blooded. You need to be made strong." With that he aimed and shot one, two, three bursts from his weapon. I felt the air leave my lungs as the rounds hit my chest. Feathers and glass exploded erratically as the stray bullets tore the Cullen's living room to shreds.

Then everything went black.


"Mom? I'm home." The house was unusually quiet. No loud salsa music. No blender pulverizing the latest diet trend. No group of tipsy, gossiping book club women in the living room. Something was up.

"Mom?" I wandered back into the dingy greenhouse; maybe she was trying to revive her latest botanical victim. The plants were as quiet as the house and the backyard was empty. "Hello?"

I climbed the stairs, listlessly flipping through the day's mail. Heating bill, water bill, mortgage reminder. "Mom? You up here?" I opened a letter from the phone company, frowning at the plethora of long distance charges. The 5-hour conversations with her new boyfriend Phil were costing us a small fortune. As I passed her bedroom I nonchalantly peeked in and did a double take.

"Mom!" I rushed into the room, the mail forgotten on the floor.

Stuffed into her cramped master bedroom was an outrageously huge, luxurious looking bed. The four grand ebony posters, that ostentatiously touched the celling, were chased with intricately carved roses. White silk hangings draped lavishly around the bed and flowed to the ground in beautiful waves. Sparkling lights dimly illuminated the headboard, which was inlayed with a detailed rose and filigree relief. And in the center of this ridiculous Edwardian display was my snoozing mother.

"Mother!" I stood at the foot of the bed, my arms crossed.

She roused and sleepily said, "You only call me mother when you're mad a me."

"Well what's with the colossal gothic tragedy?"

She smiled and motioned for me to climb aboard. I sighed dramatically and hoisted myself up onto the billowing comforter. As I flopped down next to her I begrudgingly admitted it was a very comfortable gothic tragedy.

My mother smiled smugly, "This is a waterbed. Neat, huh? But it's not a normal waterbed because a normal waterbed goes like this," she waved her hand around and made sloshing noises. "Lots of waves. Funny thing is, this one doesn't have any waves."

"Well, why didn't you just buy a normal mattress? That doesn't have waves." I worried at one of the dozen beaded throw pillows, mentally calculating the cost of each.

"But this one doesn't have waves."

"Yeah, it's nice mom, but…" I sighed looking over at her, "please tell me it's returnable."

Her smile immediately fell into an abashed look, "I suppose it could be. Too much?"

I laughed, "It's a monstrosity. I mean, how could you ever feel pretty enough to even sleep in this bed? It's like the bedding equivalent of Lady Di."

"Darn," my mother pouted, "I was going for more of a Lady Gaga."

"Not enough spikes," I yawned.

She laughed and gave me a hug, "I'll take it back tomorrow."

"I'm sorry," I started, "It's just we got the mortgage reminder today and the car insurance is going up…"

She put a finger over my lips; silencing the financial checklist, "Don't worry so much Bells. We'll make it work, we always have."

"Yeah…" I said, closing my eyes, "But lets go to IKEA next time you want a new bed."

"Deal," she laughed her warmest, best mother laugh. And I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile.


I woke in blackness; at first I wasn't sure I'd woken up at all. There was no discernable difference with my eyes opened or closed – I couldn't see. Somewhere water dripped in a casual tattoo. And it was cold. There was no light, no sound except for the constant drip. I groped around and felt hard, freezing rock. "Hello?" I called, wincing at the sound of my own voice. Gunfire echoed distantly and I jolted around, straining my eyes in the dark. It was a long while before I realized the sound was only in my head. Thick fog was sifting around my memory and I had a nagging feeling I forgot something important. Something with Jasper and how he…shot me. Panicked I felt my chest, finding the Kevlar vest still in place. It was badly dented and in some places faintly punctured. I could feel painful bruises blossoming where the bullets had hit. But I was okay. I was alive.

I waited for Jasper to come, for hours I waited, but no one came.

I was alone.


Bright May sun drifted through the biology lab, highlighting lazy dust motes as they gradually descended to the floor. I sighed as the substitute flipped to the next slide, showing us a surreal skin abnormality caused by untreated syphilis. The class groaned in disgust and I watched Tyler Crowley make exaggerated gagging sounds. This health unit couldn't be over soon enough. But, I had to admit there were unspoken advantages to dating men of the vampiric variety.

My phone buzzed against my thigh and I grinned as text from Edward passed over the screen.

E: Hello, Love. Can I see you tonight?

I smiled coyly as I hid the phone under the table and read Edward's perfectly punctuated text. To my endless amusement he always sent full sentences with flawless grammar, failing to embrace the whole point of texting. My fingers grazed blindly over the keypad.

B: IDK

An abnormal amount of time passed before he responded. Usually his messages came in faster than I could read them.

E: Bella, that's confusing. Will you be home or not and can I come over?

B: Yes LY

E: I'll stop by around eight tonight.

B: K TTYL

I set my phone in my lap and assumed a board expression as the substitute clicked through another puss filled slide. Herpes and it wasn't pretty. Or curable, apparently. My phone buzzed again. That's odd; usually he isn't this talkative.

E: What does IDK, LY and TTYL mean?

I giggled, hiding my face with my hair and hands.

B: I don't know love you talk to you later

E: Fine, if you won't tell me then I'll ask Alice.

Against my will a full laugh-snort came out when I looked at Edward's bemused reply. "Excuse me, Miss, Swan?" The substitute called as she checked the seating chart. "Is there something you'd like to share?" The whole class turned toward me, glad for the momentary reprieve.

"No. No Ms. Morris. I just had to cough is all."

She arched an eyebrow, "Put the phone away, Ms. Swan. Or I'll put it away for you. Permanently."

"Phone?" I asked innocently.

"This slideshow may get many reactions, Ms. Swan. But I've never seen it cause a student to laugh at their crotch."

I felt a blush creep up my checks as the rest of the class snickered. "I'll put it away." I mumbled. "Sorry."


"Where two winds by hard compulsion blow, and blow answers to blow, and woe lies upon woe." I whispered softly to myself.

"What did you say?" Edward asked, shifting his position on the living room couch so he could look at me. I jumped, almost dropping the book I was reading at the opposite end of the house, by a large bay window.

"You heard that?" I skeptically called back.

"Vampire, remember?" He smiled.

"I was just reading Herodotus for my honors lit class. A phrase stuck out for some reason." I brushed off the sentiment and went back to my book.

"Any reason in particular?" He asked right by my ear.

"Ah!" I jumped again, "Jesus. Effen. Christ. Edward! How many times do I have too –" I cut off when he gently took my book and reread the sentence I had so quietly read aloud.

"It sounds like he's talking about us." He deadpanned as he handed the book back to me.

"Us?" I asked, a little frustrated.

"You. Me. Jacob." Edward's voice grew colder on the last name. "You know," he smiled faintly, "Us."

"Oh," I frowned and reread the sentence again. "I guess that's why it stuck out."

"I guess so," He added thoughtfully, returning to the couch and Call of Duty.

Woe lies upon woe, I read again. And again. Recited by an oracle of Delphi who predicted how a 60-year war would end in Sparta, the author noted. "Edward?" I called "It says here the prophecy was really a cryptic description of a blacksmith creating a coffin, where the bones of a famous hero were buried. So it's not like us at all, really. No coffins, no bones, and no woe. There's, like, very little woe over here."

"I get it, Bella." He droned in between machine gun bursts. "No woe."

"That's right," I grumbled, "no goddamn woe."

What consumes what's before and behind it, the oracle continued, and will devour anyone who's watching? Time, I thought. That's not so hard to figure out, time devours the past and the future and anyone who observes it. Except the Cullens. I skipped to the next chapter, slightly unnerved by the riddle. Gyges' Triumph, the chapter read. I skimmed the story, interested by the tragic looking painting at the beginning. Candaules, King of Lydia, shows his wife to Gyges, the caption read. I felt bad for the exposed woman in the painting; she looked so vulnerable.

"Edward?" I called.

"Hmm?" he mumbled and then groaned in frustration as a Nazi sniper hit his soldier in the back. "Damn it!" He sighed.

"What do you know about Gyges and the Queen?" I asked. He put his controller down and meandered over to my window perch, "Herodotus still?" He asked as he sat down.

"Mm-hm." I sighed as he made room for me to lean against his chest. He smelled like clean linen and snow.

"King Candaules insisted that he would find some way to prove beyond dispute that his wife was fairest of all women." He started, "So he decides to hide his friend in his royal suite where they sleep. Candaules tells Gyges that the Queen has the same practice every night. She takes off her clothes and puts them on the chair by the door to her room. 'And from where you stand' the King tells Gyges, 'you will be able to gaze upon her at your leisure.'"

"That's terrible!" I gasp, "What a jerk."

"You asked for the story," he smiled. I pouted up at him, "I know."

"So that evening," Edward continued, "it's exactly as the King has told him. She goes to the chair and removes her clothes one by one until she's standing naked in full view of Gyges. And indeed, she is more beautiful than he could have imagined. He instantly falls in love with her. But then the Queen looks up and sees Gyges concealed in the shadows. And although she says nothing, she shudders."

"That's like this painting," I showed him the book, "I hate that the King is just standing there, like it's no big deal."

"Then you'll like the ending," Edward intoned, "The next day the Queen sent for Gyges and challenged him. 'Either you must submit to death for gazing on that which you should not…or else kill my husband who has shamed me and become King in his place.''

"What?" I gasped. "What did he do?"

"He kills the King, of course." Edward said, "Then he marries the Queen and becomes ruler of Lydia for all his years. They had many sons and eventually Gyges is killed in battle, protecting his people from equestrian nomads near the Black Sea."

"But what does it mean?" I asked. "Who was right?"

"Well, no one, I guess." He shrugged, "It's a historical anecdote, not a morality tale. I suppose it's about taking what you want in life."

"Candaules sold the Queen's honor," I mused, "And it cost him his throne and his life. I guess it's really about protecting what you cherish most."

"Candaules was a fool," Edward held me closer and whispered, "And I know exactly what I have in you."

But do I? I wondered as he lowered his lips for a cold kiss. I thought of Edward and Jacob and what they would do if I asked the same of either of them.

"Edward?" I invited.

"Mm?" He sighed, pulling away.

"Would you ever….well, like Gyges did– "

"Bella, it's not an exercise in moral relativism. It's just a story."

"I know. But would you kill the king?"

"Yes." He stated, "For you. Yes."

Though his sentiment was intended to be very sweet, I knew he wasn't exaggerating. I felt an anxiety creeping into our moment because although Edward sometimes joked about murder, I also knew he could effortlessly summon death if he wanted to. 'Eyes of a killer', I never really understood what that saying meant until I started hanging around vampires.


When I opened my eyes next I found my forehead awash in white light. I winced in pain against the blinding brightness. I must have fallen asleep, though I didn't remember doing so. Once my eyes adjusted I realized it was daylight coming down from a large hole above. I must have ended up here during the night, a whole day lost. But where was I? How did I get here?

When I moved, every inch of me ached like a sickness had taken over. My bones felt brittle, my chest was painfully bruised. Slowly I staggered into a standing position. A sudden sharpness in my breath told me one of my ribs was most likely broken.

Taking advantage of the light, I carefully explored the space around me. It looked like a cave, rock surrounded me on all sides and the floor was made of dirt. But a cave where? Was I still in Washington? I couldn't see an exit, just jagged rock walls with a large hole for a roof. I must have come from the hole, but how? Was I dropped in?

The thought was jarring. Would Jasper Hale drop me into a pit?

Yes, my mind screamed, he dropped you here to die!

Huddling in the pool of sunlight I shuddered against the idea, pushing it down against my bubbling panic. Surely he would come for me. Or one of the other Cullens when they've found out. Maybe even Charlie. Jasper just couldn't leave me here, could he? But Edward was gone and I realized with growing dread his absence could fundamentally change everything. Just like Laurent said a lifetime ago in the meadow: I wasn't being protected anymore.

I waited, shivering as the sun grew faint overhead. "HELP!" I screamed, "SOMEBODY! Anybody…. help me."


I heard the doorbell ring and Charlie grumbling as he marched over to see who it was. During playoffs he was a real threat to anyone who interrupted his evening ritual. After a moment of muffled conversation I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Big footsteps.

Jacob popped his head into my room without knocking, "You up?"

I rustled in the bed and covered my head with the comforter, "No."

He marched over and wrestled the blanket out of my hands, "You can't be sleeping yet – it's like 5:30. Why haven't you called me back?"

"I'm sorry?" I shrugged.

"Are you going to stay in bed forever?" He admonished.

"Yep."

He rolled his eyes, "Move over." And he sat on the bed with me. "I'm officially worried. What's going on?"

"I almost got hit by a van today."

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

When I looked at him he corrected himself, "Right. Stupid question. I'm sorry." He rested his hand on my knee, "I'm glad you're not road kill though."

"Thanks, but don't be sorry. I could have called you back. I know I've been kind of M.I.A., I suck. I'm sorry. It's not the van – it's kindofthisguyatschool…." I mumbled really quickly, realizing too late how uncomfortable it would be to talk to Jake about other boys. To my surprise he laughed.

"It's not funny," I moped indignantly.

"I'm sorry. It's just – " he paused, trying to tone down his expression, "I never thought you'd hide under the covers because of some guy. Especially for some guy in Forks."

"Shut it. You know what would make me feel better? Besides laughing at me, that is," I sighed.

"Nope." He grinned.

"Distract me." I pouted.

"Just remember you asked for it!" He smiled and jumped out of the bed with me in tow. "When life gets tough there's always the junkyard."

"What?" I gulped, "At this time of night?"

"Yeah, I need a new muffler for the Rabbit." Jake shrugged, "Don't worry, there's only guard dogs after 5."

"Dogs?" I whined.

"And I have the carpet pieces so we can jump over the fence."

"Why would we need…?"

"The barbed wire – duh." He rolled his eyes. "And the electricity," he added.

"Oh good." I muttered.

"You have your tetanus shots right?" Jacob asked as we slid out the door with a 'Bye Dad,' and 'See ya, Charlie.' "Never mind," he added, completely oblivious to my incredulity, "I have some gloves you can use. Just ignore whatever gunk they're covered in. I think it's just oil, buy hey, you never know."


The next day started much like the first, but I was thirsty. My throat was almost swollen shut. And the inevitable prenatal pain had started, lancing from my abdomen to my screaming brain. I curled into a ball on the ground, whimpering pitifully until the agony subsided. Carlisle said the baby would take whatever nourishment it could get. If I didn't feed it, it would feed off of me until I died. Then it would eat through my corpse and be trapped in this pit until it starved. My baby.

I rolled onto my back and let the early morning light wash over me. The hole was so far up, impossibly far. My eyes searched over the rock walls looking for something to latch onto, something to lay my hope upon. On the third pass I noticed a significant vertical crack zigzagging down the rock face. It split almost to the mouth of the pit, stopping short at about 5 feet. On closer inspection I realized I could just squeeze my body into the gap at the base and though it wasn't a straight shot, there was enough room to awkwardly shimmy upwards. But the top was so high up and I've never been the best at climbing. Or walking.

I passed a hand over my stomach, feeling for something like an answer. Stay and die, my mind whispered, or try and die. It's the same, the very same.

And I knew I had to try.


A simple dinner with the family. "They should meet," Edward reasoned.

"No way." I crossed my arms, "It's too dangerous."

"Isn't that my line?" He crooned, twisting his fingers through mine.

"He'll know. He'll see you all in one room and he'll know," I warned.

"He'll suspect – but he won't know. He'll know what we tell him. The rest is just circumstantial." He shot me a very glamorous smile.

"Right," I sighed, "circumstantial bullshit."

But in the end I gave in and invited my dad, the police chief of Forks, to dine with a coven of vampires. Worse ideas have existed at some point, I'm sure.

Naturally, the Cullens were all very charming. They ate human food, though I suspected they were hiding their pre-digested, upchucked meals somewhere around the house. And they bought his favorite beer, which helped enormously. Charlie actually laughed at Emmett's jokes and he enthusiastically agreed with Carlisle about the need for a free clinic in Forks. He was befuddled around Rosalie and simply adored Alice. Esme won his heart after he saw how she showered me with affection and Jasper kept a polite distance. All in all the night was completely casual and brutally stressful in equal measures.

"Dad, I'm glad you came." I sat down next to him as the rest of the family bustled around the kitchen and house, clearing dishes and excusing themselves with various, human, reasons.

"Then why do you look so stressed?" He leaned back in his chair and said, "Don't think I don't see it."

"I'm not, I'm just tired. It's been a busy month." I smiled, trying to arrange my face into what felt like a less tense expression.

"Yes, you've made a lot of new friends." He did not smile back.

"Don't make fun, Dad. I know you don't approve."

Charlie didn't disagree, but leaned further back in his chair and cleared his throat in a way that's both an answer and nothing at all. "Is this what you want?" He asked.

"What? Why are you asking me this now?" I rolled my eyes and tried my best to play the aloof teenager. But it was a fair question, because lately all my wants had been replaced by one: Edward Cullen.

"Because you're changing," Charlie frowned, "Unlike your mother, you always seemed grounded. And I thought you were very single minded in your dreams and that would help you through college and whatever came after. But now I see you about to skip the struggle and go right to the end."

"It's not the end, it's the beginning." I said, trying to keep my voice even. Why did he decide to talk about this in the midst of perfect vampiric hearing?

"This house, this wealth that's being handed to you. This is what I'm worried about." He pointed at me, a beer can in hand, "And it's not that someone else deserves it. That's not it at all. It's because it's too much for a girl your age."

"Don't belittle me because I'm dating a Cullen." I blurted, unsure of how many non-people were hearing this conversation. "And really, Dad, it's time to stop treating me like a kid. I'm old enough to know what I want."

"Usually when teenagers complain about being treated like a kid it's because they're being asked to act like an adult." He frowned and dismissed the sentiment with a shrug, "I just hate the idea that you've given up. Don't let your love for this boy stop you from doing what you want to do in life."

"Not tonight, Dad. I don't want to talk about this now."

"Alright, Bells. Not tonight." He nodded and then abruptly gave Esme the thumbs up when she produced a pineapple upside-down cake. Edward came back from the kitchen on Esme's heels; his shirtsleeves rolled up and splashed with dishwater. We shared a look that said, 'Are you ok?', but neither of us had an answer for the other.


I found the source of the dripping.

A trickle of water was steadily leaking down a dark corner of the cave. The rock around the small spring was covered in a spongy moss and I could suckle nourishment from the slimy green scales by pressing my lips against the mineral wall. The water was sweet on my tongue and as I drank the earthy liquid the day old fire in my throat was slowly snuffed out.

My aches, except for the constant one in my abdomen, were receding by the hour. It was hard to tell if the bloodstone was accelerating my healing or if I was simply becoming numb to the pain. As I walked around the cave, giving my wounds a cursory examination, I noticed a pile of old, dry bones lying beside the spring. An animal, possibly a deer, must have fallen through the hole some time ago. Its skull was caved in and the ribcage was partially shattered. The bone's grim memento mori reminded me I had to get out of this pit or I had to hurry up and die.

While I still had light, I searched the rocks for a cutting tool, testing each candidate and flinging the inadequate stones aside. When I finally found a razor sharp chunk of flint I quickly ripped the Kevlar off my chest and began to systematically render the vest into long strips. Though the material was bulletproof, I discovered it could be pulled apart along the weave if the seams were torn. The work was slow and I took the time to make sure each frayed ribbon was even and strong. Then I cut apart my long-sleeved over shirt, then my pants. I squatted, nearly naked except for some underwear, a t-shirt and my boots, working each strip of cloth into a thin, tight braid. Despite the freezing cold of the cave, I was drenched in sweat.

One shot, one chance. By midday the tools I made were crude, but effective. A strong, blunted stone that fit easily in my palm to serve as a simple hammer. A clutch of sharpened rocks and bones, coarsely shaped into stakes. A long, thin rope made of tightly braded Kevlar and fabric. The metal in the Kevlar proved very useful for reinforcing the rope, though it would cut my bare skin as I climbed.

But it was something. I had to try.

That afternoon it started to rain. The sunlight dimmed to dreary gray and fat drops of water fell from the hole above me. As I sat crouched in the shadows trying to capture the falling water with my hands, a pair of black squirrels appeared, quickly darting in and out of the fading light. When they wandered across my path they were as surprised to see me as I them. Without thought I struck fast and true, spearing their fattened bodies on the end of a sharpened stick. The meat was slimy and had an abhorrent stench but I ate everything passible as food and I sucked out as much of the blood as I could stomach. I sighed with relief as I felt my baby's restlessness melt away inside of me.

Afterwards, as I stuck my hands into the rain to wash away the filth, I vaguely wondered if I had initiated that violent act or if the baby drove me to kill for the blood. I couldn't imagine old Bella killing and eating an animal raw, but then again I couldn't picture her in this situation in the first place.

As a last, desperate act, I cut and shaped my boots into a rudimentary hook. But it really looked more like a mangled lump of hardened leather and torn rubber. This left me barefoot, but I figured it would make me more surefooted during the climb. Like it was that easy to will away my clumsiness.

Trouble was, by my guess, I had to climb to the top of the rock chimney before I could launch my horribly crafted claw out of the cave. Then it might take three or a million tries to get it to wrap around one of the encompassing saplings before I could use it to climb free. Assuming I wouldn't fall and break my neck first. Rock climbing with handmade tools, good way to get myself killed. Good way to die.

I readied myself at the crevasse, coiling the rope around me and slinging the stakes on my hip with a wedge of ripped fabric. "Edward," I prayed, "hold on, all you have to do is hold on a little longer. You're alive, I know you're alive. And Jacob…." My mouth tightened into a hard line, "I'm coming for you."


J-Dawg04: Why won't you call me back?

I stared at the IM blinking on my computer screen. After a long pause I responded:

HellsBells98: We've talked about this. A lot.

J-Dawg04: But that was before the Bloodsucker came back. You didn't even tell me you were back – I had to hear it from my Dad : (

HellsBells98: You gave me an ultimatum before I left. Nothing's changed.

J-Dawg04: For you. It's not that easy for me to ignore how I feel.

HellsBells98: Over IM. Really Jake?

J-Dawg04: So meet me.

HellsBells98: Can't.

J-Dawg04: I get it. You have to ask him permission first, right?

HellsBells98: Not fair.

J-Dawg04: Sorry.

HellsBells98: Fine. Where?

J-Dawg04: Tilicum Park? 20 minutes?

HellsBells98: K

The night was crisp and cool as I stepped out the door. I zipped my sweatshirt and threw up the hood. Tilicum was a 15 minute walk from my Dad's house so I decided to skip the truck and hike the most direct path through the forest. As I walked down the worn hiking trail a chill wind picked up and made the trees whispered restlessly. I could hear a thousand branches creaking irritably in the sudden breeze. Occasionally an odd bird sang a pretty song and I could see the twilight bats squeaking softly as they took flight for the evening. The crickets hadn't come out yet and the katydid's relentless summer song was just starting to fade.

It was a pleasant night for a walk, but more importantly all these normal sounds let me know Edward was nowhere close. Nature always stilled when he appeared, instinctively knowing a dangerous predator was near. I was loath to use this knowledge, especially since a werewolf gave it to me. But freedom, it seemed, particularly the freedom to go where I pleased, had a price these days.

I found Jake near the baseball diamond, leaning against the risers. I saw, with more than a little melancholy, that he had ridden his motorcycle.

"Well," I frowned, "You wanted to talk. So let's talk."

"Nice to see you too," He smiled, leaning in close, "What? No kiss?"

"I can't, that's done with." I backed away half a step.

"You know, I wait for you every night to come knocking on the garage like you used to." He took half a step forward and made to grab my hand. I artfully tucked it into my hoodie pocket, "I never asked you to wait for me, Jake."

"You didn't have to ask. I knew after our first night together…"

"Don't be so childish," I scowled, "that night was a mistake."

"Don't call me a child," he tensed, "And you're forgetting about all the other times too."

"I was out of my mind then. I won't be coming for you anymore." I made to back away but he grabbed my arm. "Jake," I looked at his desperation and sighed, deciding to soften my tone, "I think about you sometimes. And yes, I still care. But I'll cut off my hand before I reach for you again. It's better for both of us to believe we never touched at all."

"But we did," he closed the gap between us and scooped me into an eager kiss. At first I thought to fight, but the warmth and sickening relief in my gut made me kiss him back. It was a good and honest kiss, but it only took a second for the regret to register. I pulled away with a sob and made to leave. "Hey, it's okay…" Jacob soothed.

"No! It's not okay!" I shouted, "I just cried into your mouth. I…I have to go." I shook off his hands and the tears, I noted, stopped the moment we broke contact. Jacob went to hold me again and I shouted, "Jacob! No!" while shoving him away, but he wouldn't let go. In our struggle I ended up falling against the risers and he was on his knees in front of me, still clutching my hands, "Bella you have to forget about Edward!" He pleaded.

"No," I slipped my hands out of his and back into my hoodie pockets, "he wants me back."

Jacob frowned and got up off the ground, "Oh and I suppose he'll just set aside all those perfect vampire bitches to date a teenage human? He wanted to leave you and I'm only asking that you let me love you."

I grimaced, "You don't get to speak about Edward. You don't know anything about anything Jacob Black." I got up and started to walk away, but something made me pause. The night, it didn't sound right. It was too quiet. "It's laughable," Jacob snarled, "how easily you crawl back after he dropped you on your ass. He's a cold, shallow, heartless monster and still you run to him!" Jacob began shouting, oblivious to the stillness around us.

"Shut up – just shut up for once!" I snapped, "I'm not yours. I was never yours, Jacob. Why don't you just go and find a girl who won't hurt you?" I stumbled and began to walk away quickly, hoping he wouldn't follow me into the forest. "Because I love you," he said, stopping me in my tracks. I ran back to him and forcefully shoved his chest, "Don't say that!" I shouted.

"It's obvious," he laughed as I hit him again, "I'm completely in love with you." I tried to punch his jaw but hurt my hand in the process. "You're such a wimp," he smiled.

"I am not!" I yelled and hit him again.

"Well then be with me!" He laughed humorlessly as I continued to push at him, "So then you're going to fight me? You can't fight me. You're miniature. You punch like a Raptor."

"Leave. Me. Alone. Jacob!" I shouted, punctuating each word with a shove to his chest. Winded, I turned to leave and quickly put distance between us. "I want the Bella Swan I fell in love with!" Jacob yelled, "The person who taught me everything I know about love. I want my best friend back. You're asking me to forget? I know you Bella. Whatever crime you think it is, YOU STILL LOVE ME!"

I started to run, trying to get as far away from the situation as I could. Hopefully no one heard his crazy emotional outburst – but it was so quiet, all of the sudden the whole park went deathly quiet. I slowed to a walk and concentrated on calming my nerves. A painful rushing sound enveloped my ears and it felt like I was going to loose consciousness. The world swayed dangerously. I could hear the faint sound of Jacob's bike starting up and peeling down the park's gravel road. At least he didn't follow me. I continued to walk unsteadily forward, making a point to not look back. Afraid if I did look I would catch a familiar set of golden eyes somewhere in the dark, bearing witness to my guilty escape.

"Well that was a mistake," I grumbled before hiking back down the trail to home.


I found Edward sitting alone underneath the football bleachers. He had his headphones on full blast and his eyes were closed. I watched him for a second, noting how tense his expression was, though the rest of him looked perfectly at ease.

He skipped Bio today, and I held my breath the entire class waiting for him to walk through the door.

It had been five days since he started talking to me, four weeks since we first met. I felt a horrible pressure building that made me edgy whenever he was near. Today I decided something had to give. I couldn't continue going to school and doing homework and pretending to live in the stupid town of Forks unless something happened right now. Ducking under the bleachers I crouched down to where he was hiding and completely uninvited, I kissed him on the lips.

His eyes shot open and at first I thought he would pull away, he even gripped my arms like he was going to. But then he pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. His skin was cold. After a minute or two he pushed me away – though the gesture was not unkind. I darted to the other side of the bleachers, utterly shocked by my own actions. Did that really just happen? "I'm sorry," I exclaimed, "I didn't plan that."

Edward pulled his headphones out and I could hear Bach softly escaping the earbuds, "I'm sorry too." He sounded confused and frustrated, which sparked my annoyance. What was he frustrated about? I was the one being held at arms length. "No," I crossed my arms and planted my feet, "You know what? I'm not sorry. I don't take it back. That was awesome."

He really looked surprised now, "I thought we were just going to be friends?" Edward ran his long fingers through his hair, "Don't do this," he sighed.

"Friends!" I cried, throwing my arms up in frustration. I turned to leave and then turned again and pointed at him, "I can't handle it. I can't keep my feelings all bottled up like you. Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing for me?!"

"Yeah…I have….feelings for you, Bella." He turned his music off and avoided eye contact. I wasn't about to let it go with his partially garbled confession. I had no idea what his 'feelings' felt like but mine were tearing me apart. "Then what's wrong?!" I shouted so he would look at me again, "Why can't we even try?" Edward grimaced and gruffly got to his feet. After a tense moment he tried to shove his way past me but I grabbed his arm, "I've watched you, you know? At school and the mall and at stupid parties. How - how can you just …stand there and – and…smile at people and pretend like your life hasn't capsized?" My hand was shaking as bad as my voice so I dropped it. To my surprise he stayed.

"I don't know," he said in a flat voice.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, not bothering to keep the anger and irritation out of my tone.

Edward turned on me, his face crumpled in annoyance, "Do you think you're the only one that feels? Is that what you think? Do you really want to know why?!" he spat.

"Yes!" I cried.

"I don't trust myself with you."

I paused. My anger deflated as suddenly as it had appeared. I expected him to say he didn't care about me or I wasn't cool enough or pretty. I expected him to write me off and make me feel like I was an insignificant part of his day. I never thought I was actually affecting him in any meaningful way. But before I had a chance to respond he shut the conversation down, "Look, whatever universe you've constructed that allows the two of us to be together, forget it. This," He gestured between us and coldly emphasized each word, "Can. Never. Happen."

I struggled to catch my breath.

"Leave me alone. Leave my family alone. Don't sit next to me. Don't talk to me. And don't come find me when I don't want to be found!" In the distance the bell rang, punctuating the finality of his words. He stalked off, not bothering to stick around for my reaction.

I couldn't breathe. I waited, frozen, for my breath to return, for the tears to start. But cruel fingers were slowly closing around my throat, choking the air from my lungs. For the rest of lunch I sat huddled under the bleachers, staring at the spot where I actually kissed Edward Cullen. And I swear to God, he kissed me back.


I screamed as I pulled myself out of the hole, tears streaming down my cheeks. Every inch of my arms and legs were scrapped or cut and bleeding my awful black blood. My hands and arms were numb from the strain of climbing and I had deep bruises on my palms, my knees and the soles of my feet. The rain had turned the ground to soft mud and I slogged my body through it until I was safely away from the pit's edge. As I caught my breath I realized the climb wasn't as impossible as I thought it would be, just difficult and exhausting. But I really did it. I saved myself this time.

A slow clap came from somewhere to my left. I turned my head at the sound, squinting through the steady rainfall. "Bravo," Jasper smirked as he leaned against a tree, "Well done." Had he been there all along? I lurched into a sitting position, ignoring how the world spun around me. "Jasper." I rasped through clenched teeth.

"Very impressive." He said, "Though cutting your boots apart was a bit much, don't you think? The rope would have been more than enough. And eating squirrels! You know I would have fed you eventually."

Without thought I charged the blond vampire, screaming savagely and wielding a splintered bone. He didn't move when I attempted to plunge the crude stake through his heart. He didn't move when I started clawing and kicking, slapping and punching him. He just closed his eyes and took it. By the time I was done I was sobbing hard, "You left me," I cried, "I trusted you and you shot me and left me to die!" I collapsed at his feet, too weak to stand.

"I left you to live." Jasper said.

"But why?" I cried. He crouched down and roughly grabbed my chin, "Much and more will be asked of you, Human, before we see Edward safe at home again." I jerked my head away from his grip and spit in his face.

At first I thought he was going to hit me. He even cocked his arm back like he was going to. But he took a handful of dirt instead and shoved it down my throat. Jasper capped my mouth with an iron hand and held me tight as I gagged. "This is what the rest of your life will taste like if you fail." He said. "Do you understand Human?" When I didn't respond he let go and I fell to the ground spitting up mud and vitriol, "Don't call me that," I gasped, "I have a name."


"You were there that night? When he…when I got lost in the forest?"

"Yeah. I sat with you for a while – rubbed your feet, remember?" When I vaguely shrugged Jacob shook his head, "What about it?" He shifted uncomfortably and messed around in his tool kit.

"Well why did you come? Why did the tribe get involved at all?" I handed him the socket wrench he was rummaging for.

"Short of the long?" he sighed and started tightening a loose bolt, "Billy knew about the Cullens. He knew about you and…well, they expected to find you gored or ripped to shreds or something. Anyway, they thought they'd find something more than you curled up and sad on the ground."

I scoffed, "Sorry to be such a disappointment." The old car seat creaked horribly as I got up to leave. From his crouched position all Jake could grab was my ankle, "Hey, let go!" I shook my foot.

"Don't be angry," he smiled, "you asked."

"You don't have to be mean." I kicked again and he released his grip.

"I know. I'm sorry." He started pulling the headlamp off his bike.

"Why did I have to be injured? Why was that detail so important." I leaned against the garage doorframe and crossed my arms defensively.

"The treaty…." He mumbled.

"The what?" I crumpled my brow and tried to remember. Edward had mentioned something similar, something about why his family couldn't go to La Push. But the details were vague.

"It's nothing – just a stupid contract between us and the Cullens. No boarder crossing, no inviting extra Vampers into Forks and no killing people."

"So you were hoping that they killed me? Why?"

He stood and waved a screwdriver at me, "Okay. First of all I wasn't hoping anything. You scared the hell out of all of us that night, disappearing like that. Your Dad…well lets just say it's a good thing Sam found you. And second," he threw the flathead into his toolkit and began rummaging around again, "the treaty is the glue that holds this whole shitty mess together. We barely tolerate them as it is."

"Why? I thought that was all old school. Why are you holding onto something that happened before you were even born?"

"Because of who they are – that would be obvious to anyone but you, Bells." He sighed, "And anyway if they bit you, the treaty would be broken and we could finally exterminate Forks' Leech population." Jake shrugged matter-of-factly.

"Whoa, wait. No you couldn't," I stomped over to where he was crouched and put my hands on my hips, "If Edward did decide to bite me, which he didn't, it would have had nothing to do with killing me. I'm not just anyone. Or I guess I used to be someone to them." I mumbled the last part, surprised at how much my abandonment still hurt. "What we were going through was personal, Jake. It didn't have anything to do with a stupid contract your grandfather made. And I wouldn't have been technically dead," I contemptuously pointed out.

"Minor details. A kill's a kill. End of story." He stood up and examined his bike, making sure all the pieces were back in place. "Wanna go for a ride?" He grinned and started to push the motorcycle outside.

I grabbed the handlebars, "There's something you're not telling me."

Jake looked vaguely uncomfortable, "What more could there be? It's pretty straightforward, Bella."

"No, there's a piece missing. It doesn't feel right. It feels like when…when he…Edward I mean," I choked on his name but made myself say the rest, "when he used to not lie to me, but also not tell me the whole story. He'd leave out the bits that he decided were too upsetting. It was infuriating, Jake. And demeaning. I never thought you'd do it to me too."

He looked stricken and a little guilty, "I want to be honest. I want to be that person for you."

"But you can't." I said colorlessly, "You want to be that person, but you can't." I heaved a sigh and tried to keep my voice neutral, "You want to tell me the truth. But you can't. And I want to keep being patient. But I can't." I paused and took a moment to calm down, "I'm sorry," I grabbed my coat and keys, "I have to go."

"Bella, come on. Don't be like that." Jake put his bike against the wall and hurried out after me. "It's not my fault I can't tell the truth."

My truck door opened with a loud creak, "I've heard that one before." I spat.

"That's not fair," Jacob moaned, "You're not even trying to understand what it's like on my end."

"What's it like, Jake? Huh?! I'm literally dying over here to know what all the supernatural men in my life have to go through to be with little human me." Jake opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off, "But you know what? I'm sick of having other people decide what I can and can't know. And that's the goddamn truth." I wrenched my door shut and jolted the ancient Ford to life. Jacob was saying something, but I couldn't hear him over the engine roar. When I shook my head 'No' he threw up his hands and marched back toward the garage.

Score one for Bella, it seemed. But also one more friendly lie to loose sleep over. I growled in frustration and began the lonely drive back into town. I managed to get halfway home before pulling over to the side of the road. Drawing out my phone I pressed send on the last number dialed.

"Hey," a familiar voice answered.

"I'm sorry," I blurted.

"S'okay," Jake verbally shrugged, "Not our first fight."

"So what aren't you suppose to tell me?" I asked, chancing another row.

"They can't make more Bloodsuckers. Ever." His voice was defeated, but cold.

"Oh," I said, "I guess I should have saw that coming….what about outside of Forks?"

"Doesn't work like that. The whole point is to wipe out the race, not just protect the town."

"Oh," I said, "So that's why you didn't want to tell me."

"Yeah," He sighed, "but it doesn't matter now, anyway. Does it?" I felt Jake pressuring me to accept what is, not what was. I swallowed hard. Even after the Cullens disappeared, I still viciously hoped the future I wanted would come to be, in the end.

"No," I rasped, "none of this matters anymore. Night Jake."

"Night," he said, and, "you forgot your backpack. I tried to tell you…"

"Damn it," I said, "then see you in 15 minutes, I guess." And hanging up the phone I realized I probably wouldn't leave Jacob's house for a second time tonight. Hoping I wouldn't regret what was about to happen too much in the morning, I sighed and turned the truck around, slowing making my way back through the dark.


I sullenly followed Jasper out of the woods. We weren't very far from the Cullen's property, about a twenty-minute walk by human standards. Even so, by the time we arrived I was a shivering, snot gushing mess. Spending so much time in the cave, most of it half clothed, left me feeling frozen to the core. "Clean yourself up." He ordered when we reached the front door. I trudged up the stairs to Edward's bedroom and noticed once again the house was suspiciously empty. Fine, great, perfect. At least the only Cullen to see me this messed up was the homicidal blonde one.

By nature the Cullen household never smelled of much. A scented candle, clean laundry, floor wax, but something smelled wonderful when I reached Edward's bedroom. Almost like….bacon and cheese and pure heaven. I flung open the door and discovered a breakfast tray on his couch with a modest white bag, a rose and a coke. I almost cried when I opened the bag and saw a double bacon cheeseburger with fries. I also noticed there was a hospital blood bag tucked discretely under the food.

I looked around, like the bag was going to be ripped from my hands at any moment. When I felt it was safe, I pull out the burger and devoured the son-of-a-bitch. It was much better than squirrel.

After a scalding hot shower, I performed a lie filled phone call to Charlie. Edward has a gross flu. Camping has been extended until he can travel. We're holed up in some backcountry hotel. Carlisle's taking care of everything. Don't worry, I'm fine, everything's fine. I realized I could ask him to come rescue me. Maybe I could tell him how scared I was and actually tell him the truth about what had happened. But I didn't and eventually we said goodbye.

Then, despite feeling horrible for lying so profoundly to my father, I settled into a long nap on Edward's sofa. I dreamt of rock walls and a deep cold. I saw wolves running through the woods and most of all I dreamt of fire. A fire so hot and so frightening it consumed everything it touched until only ash and char remained.

I woke abruptly to loud shouting. It was dark again; I had slept the rest of the day away. I looked around in alarm and realized the voices were just outside my door. I didn't dare move, knowing they'd be aware of my eavesdropping immediately. It sounded like Jasper and….Alice? No, it was definitely Esme and she was as angry as I've ever heard her.

"Three days?! She could have died!"

"Don't get hysterical, I would never let that happen." Jasper thundered, "And what the hell do you think you're doing, Esme? You're going to ruin everything!"

"That girl will not be reduced to eating vermin, Jasper."

I heard a crash against the door, like a body had been shoved against it.

"I was."

"You chose your path. You chose this life with us."

"And it has chosen her."

"Jasper Whitlock. I am your mother, your friend and your coven mate. But I am not, however, your slave. Unhand me." After a beat I heard her feet connect with the hardwood. "And, so help me," Esme hissed, "don't let me catch you firing a gun in my living room ever again!"

Then there was only piercing silence. I couldn't tell if either of them had left the hallway. So it seems the rest of the family didn't abandon me after all, they just left me in the hands of Jasper. I could guess why, but the realization wasn't comforting. I decided to dress and wait on the couch for someone to come get me. But as I waited a cold, watery panic started to freeze in my veins. I tried to ignore everything that had happened and everything I feared to come and I focused very hard on bringing Edward home.

To be continued...