"He's just dropped off the map."
"He hasn't, let's face it. He's with Johnny." Sighing wearily Olivia accepted the inevitable, and that which had been confirmed by the pursuit of information from various sources she had undertaken since her last contact with Calvin. "He was part of that bodega robbery the other night. He was seen dealing in Bryant Park when they arrested those two guys he hangs around with. God knows what else he's gotten into since he fell back into that world."
"I hate to ask but it's gonna be done….." ventured Fin reluctantly, "… are we sure that he's not made contact with Evie?"
"Fin that child is broken hearted, trust me if she'd heard from him I'd know."
"We've got no case without Calvin." Said Georgia, because no one else would.
"I don't even care about the case anymore….." exhaled Olivia, lifting her hands behind her head and pushing back on her chair, "…. and no, no I don't mean that." Though she had quickly counteracted her statement the assembled group, even those who had not been around when the story had begun were acutely aware of how difficult the situation was for their Captain. Like when Sam had broken his arm, like the bomb scare at the kids' high school, no matter how hard Olivia might fight to keep a professional front: her mom was showing.
"If you ask me we've got more reason than ever to want Johnny Arliss behind bars…" said Georgia with a supportive smile, "…. give both Lauren and Calvin a chance at a future."
"You know I'm gonna make myself pretty unpopular saying this but I reckon the best chance we got of smoking Calvin out is….."
"Not gonna happen Nick." Said Olivia without pausing to draw breath.
"Liv there is no feeling more powerful on this earth than teenage love."
"Oh trust, trust me I am acutely aware of that Detective Amaro."
"Amaro we're not using baby girl as freakin' bait, don't be an ass!" dismissed Fin, not even willing to entertain the notion and shocked that Olivia hadn't beaten him to the more forceful reproach.
"He has a point Fin….. " continuing to stun her audience Olivia tilted her head and held her breath a second, "… I mean there's no way in hell I'd do it. El would kill me and I'd never forgive myself if Evie got hurt but Nick isn't wrong."
"I'm just gonna say it again because I don't know who you are right now…." leaning forward, putting his face in hers and narrowing his eyes Fin snarled, "… we're not using baby girl as bait, Captain."
"We gotta search that house."
"What you thinking?" asked Georgia, latching onto the first real suggestion anyone had had in hours. "We got anything we can make warrantable?"
"I'll find something…." vowed Olivia, heading back to her office with a grim determination.
"I'm going back to LA."
"And you came all the way over here to tell me that?" asked Georgia, throwing Rachel a sidelong glance as Melinda's daughter danced awkwardly from foot to foot beside her desk in the SVU squad room. "Only I gotta tell you Rach it's pretty much old news at this point. You come, go you. You visit for five minutes barely acknowledge my existence and then you sail right back down the river denial to Gray."
"I guess I deserved that."
"Yeah."
"Georgia…." ventured Rachel nervously, standing like a flamingo for a moment and clutching her purse like it were a grenade without it's pin, "…. can we talk?"
"I'm sorry what….." taking the pen from her mouth and tucking it between her hair with a sprig of white blonde cropped hair Georgia puzzled, "…. what is this if not us talking? I speak, you speak. What?"
"Is there somewhere we can go?"
"Darn it where the hell did I put that CPS report….."
"Georgia!"
"What?" came the frustrated response as Georgia's tolerance for Rachel's soft voiced twittering was tested. "Look Rach I know the drill here. You come for a visit and you spend the whole time avoiding me and then at the last minute you have this massive attack of conscience so you come and see me. With one foot already on the freakin' plane back to California you come and tell me how I'm the best friend you've ever had, how I get you, how you wish that things were different."
"I…."
"Well guess what?" throwing her hands on her hips and flashing Amanda Rollins' sassy smile and buoyant ability to endure rejection and solitude Georgia shrugged, "I am, I do, but they're not. Things are the way they are, it is what it is. Go home, Rachel."
"Los Angeles isn't home for me….." swallowed Rachel quietly, sadly, with a finality in her voice that weakened Georgia's strong defence, "… and lately I've come to realise I don't think it ever was."
"You've made a damn good show of it the past fourteen years."
"What if that's all it's been?" where Georgia was all colour and fireworks, Rachel was intimate shades of grey and black and white, haunting and sensual in her husky voiced intensity. "What if my whole life out there has just been a damn good show?"
"Rachel I am tired of having this conversation with you. I am done running on this hamster wheel running toward somewhere and something we don't ever reach. I have waited for you longer than anyone should ever have to wait for someone, and we've been here a million times before. It's exhausting. Loving you, waiting for you is exhausting and you're beyond cruel doing this to me again."
"I'm done running too….." nodded Rachel slowly, deliberately, dropping her satchel bag the floor with a light thud and catching Georgia's hand in hers, "…. I'm done running from you Georgia."
"What are you….."
"I'm done running from us….." looking round in panic to see that there were still more than enough witnesses in the squad room to ensure every officer in the NYPD would know her secret Georgia grabbed Rachel's hand and dragged her into the deserted crib.
"I see you're not though."
"What?"
"You act so strong, so certain, so sure….." smiled Rachel, though her furrowed brow betrayed her confusion at Georgia's complexities, "… but you're every bit as terrified by this as I am."
"You're really not kidding this time are you?" realised Georgia, finding the prospect of their relationship lifting to a higher plane indeed quite intimidating now it was seemingly taking roots in reality. So long she had longed for this moment, this certainty in Rachel's eyes and now there it was and she was petrified.
"I was never kidding George I was just….." closing her eyes, ashamed at all the years of cowardice she had shown Rachel opened them again and murmured, "…. this is different than anything I have ever known."
"I know and I know you hate it. It's unknown and it's unpredictable and hell if I know what this is or where it's going or whether it will…."
"My marriage is over….." shrugging sadly Rachel managed a smile despite her threatening tears, "… and it has been for a long time now."
"Rach…."
"In fact sometimes I wonder whether it was over before it began."
"No, no that's not…."
"It was you from the moment I met you I just didn't know it yet. It was you from the moment I met you in the rubble of the old 16th when you asked Mom and I questions about Amanda Rollins….." reaching out a trembling hand, setting it ever so lightly on Georgia's porcelain cheek and nodding slowly Rachel whispered, "…but I was just too scared to admit it. Even to myself."
"Rachel please don't…. don't….." she gasped, as Rachel cupped her face and moved toward, her pressing her against the wall of the dim lit crib and staring at her intently, "… unless you mean it."
"I mean it I swear …" sliding her hand to the nape of Georgia's neck, stroking at the fine wisps of razored blonde Rachel pressed her lips against the detective's lightly parted mouth and waited for reciprocation.
"Rach…."
"I have no clue what I'm doing or how to do this or whether it's even a smart choice but for the first time in my life I don't care! I just want to be with you….." and then, because for all the rationality, for all the science, there was something deeper driving her Rachel let go of the reigns and confessed, "… I need to be with you."
"Warner I swear to God if you break my heat….." no one had ever spoken to her that way, with such rough edged, rasping voiced command, and shameless passion, "…. I will break your legs."
"Noted….." came the breathy reply from Rachel as the two women trusted the one thing that was tangible, the way holding each other felt too raw and real to be wrong, the way kissing felt like freedom at last.
"What about this one?"
"It's too small."
"It's bigger than the old one and Mom already hates how much space that takes up….." noted Eve, running her hand along the top of the flat screen television Sam favoured, "…. besides it's our living room not an IMAX."
"Yeah but imagine watching the big games on this bad boy come the fall….." grinned Sam, seeing his argument was stronger in Elliot's glinting eyes, "…right Dad?"
"It's a pretty sweet piece of kit."
"Ugh you two are the worst and I hate being outnumbered….." groaned Eve, throwing her head and back and shaking her ponytail in frustration, "… I vote we come back when Mom can join the rational team!"
"Mouse you seriously don't think your movie nights would be more fun on this big screen?" tested Elliot, shooting for her Achilles heel.
"No….." swallowed Eve, her melancholy returning as she sloped off to wander around the rest of the electronics department. She hadn't had movie night since she'd broken up with Jason Williams and though she didn't really miss him, she missed the simplicity of those days. When all she had to worry about was being on time to meet him at her locker when the last bell rang and pretending to all her friends that she'd let him go to second under the bleachers.
"Hey Mouse? Come back here….." the original intention of Elliot and Sam bringing Eve with them to the mall had been to cheer her up in the wake of Calvin's disappearance, and Elliot realised they were failing miserably.
"Can we just go eat now?" she asked glumly, not sharing the boys' love of oversized electronics and just wishing Olivia was here. Partly to talk them out of the stupidly large television, but mostly to give one of her all healing mom hugs.
"You wanna pick where?" offered Sam, which drew a smile from his sister as she knew just what a noble gesture that was on his part.
"Thanks Sammy."
"Just not Olive Garden."
"Oh what!"
"Or anywhere fishy…." he added, narrowing his eyes.
"No sushi then?" she giggled, feeling suddenly a little brighter as Sam play punched her and Elliot drew her back into the fold with a paternal arm around her shoulders.
"Hey I will eat just about anything but even I draw the line at raw fish!" contributed Elliot, employing his veto right.
"Are Mom and I seriously the only ones in this family with any taste?" sighed Eve, leaning into Elliot and rolling her eyes fondly.
"Your mother eats fried pickles. I will not be judged by a Frickle lover."
"Hey guys I need new batteries for the Wii remotes, meet you at the food court?"
"You got your cell?" checked Elliot, before agreeing to the separation. "Okay buddy, but don't be long yeah?"
"Yes sir." Nodded Sam with a smile, dashing back to the electronics aisle wallet in hand.
"How you doing mini Mouse?" asked Elliot, when he and Eve were alone.
"I'm okay Dad."
"Still nothing from Calvin, huh?"
"Nope."
"There'll be other boys, kiddo….." sighed the voice of experience as Elliot bent down to kiss her hair, "…..trust me, they'll be lining up to date you, pretty girl. I'm already loading my gun."
"Daddy!"
"I'm just kidding but not about the first part. You got my brains and charm and your mother's looks….." looking down at her adoringly Elliot smiled, "… you could have any boy in the world Evie Grace."
"But I don't want any boy….." was the truth of the matter and the cause of such heart-breaking sadness in his little girl's eyes, "… I want him."
"This must be torture for Olivia."
"And some."
"Having Calvin back in her life after all these years, and under the circumstances with his cousin would be hard enough….." shaking her curls steadily from side to side Melinda Warner's kind face drew with concern, "… but oh Evie, my little darling, she's headed for hell in a hand basket with that boy."
"She's got her mother's lousy taste in men….." smirked Fin, but they both knew he was only partly joking. He was incredibly fond of Elliot had long ago accepted that he was the love of Olivia's life, but he would never underestimate his ability to be an ass of the highest order.
"Speaking of Elliot….." unable to resist a wicked smirk Melinda pushed up a brow and asked, "… is he working on a stomach ulcer over all this?"
"I think baby girl must've drugged him or something because of the two of them he's actually being freakishly calm."
"He doesn't believe it'll stick?" gosh she was shrewd, marvelled Fin with continued astonishment at Dr Warner's capacity to read people.
"I guess I didn't figure it that way."
"Oh he likes to play into the angry Jar Head idiot role, but you mark my words: Elliot Stabler hasn't worked two decades as an NYPD detective and raised seven children being anyone's fool."
"Damn you're good."
"So is he….." shrugged Melinda sagely, "… he knows his best strategy is supportive nonchalance. The harder he fights Evie on Calvin the harder she'll fight back. He'll drive her straight into that beautiful boy's waiting arms."
"It really sucks that Calvin turned out that way. Why the hell couldn't he be ugly?"
"Fin!"
"Dude looks like he could be part of the pepper spray gang at Abercrombie."
"The what and the who now?"
"You seriouslyreckon Stabler is that smart?"
"I reckon he's had to learn to be. You and I both saw the hoops Kathleen made him jump through in her wild days. Heck even Lizzie put him through his paces a good few times."
"They got nothing on baby girl….." sighed Fin, hopelessly besotted with Evie, "…she's the prettiest little thing I ever saw and she's got Liv's fire."
"You really think she loves Calvin?" trusting he would know better than most, being as though she had never known a secret of Eve Stabler's he wasn't party to from the moment she was old enough to have one.
"Honestly if she was any other sixteen year old on the planet I'd say hell no. Kids that age don't know what love is. They're just all horny hormones and proving a point."
"Nice Fin, real nice."
"But Evie….." sighing heavily he lost himself in thought for a moment, "… man Mel I dunno."
"How'd you mean?" she asked curiously.
"You ever catch Liv sometimes, in that faraway place she goes? Like she feels things stronger or deeper than the rest of us or something. Like things get under her skin and into her blood? I used to think it was just all her past catching up with her but lately I catch baby girl a million miles away and I wonder….."
"Olivia has a capacity for darkness like I've never known before….." said Melinda with profound, heartfelt concern, "…. I certainly hope that it isn't genetic."
"Nah, nah I'm probably just…."
"You're buzzing….." interrupted Melinda, reaching for his cell and tossing it over the lab countertop at him, "….it's Amaro."
"What's up bro?" face paling, eyes widening Fin strung together a collection of stammered half sentences before hanging up the phone and lunging for his weapon and car keys.
"Fin! What the hell was that?"
"I gotta go….." he rushed, turning back to squash a kiss against her flummoxed expression, "… shots fired at Johnny Arliss' place!"
"I want a deal."
"Johnny put the gun down….." swallowed Olivia, her nostrils flaring as took long steadying breaths and attempted to slow her heart rate, "… and we'll talk."
"I know who you are….." said Johnny, jabbing at Calvin's temple with the muzzle of his gun. With his head cocked sideways Calvin just sat there, doll like and passive in Johnny's tyre iron grip around his neck. Calmly accepting his impending fate he gave Olivia and her detectives the horrified impression that it was not the first time he had been in this position.
"Then you know I can help you."
"I don't just mean that you're Leader of the Sex Police…." laughed Johnny, his eyes wild and his pupil's dilated with something even stronger than his power high, "….you and this little cunt here have a history."
"Give me the gun, Johnny….." she hated that word, it was the one word in the English language that truly reviled her and to hear it used to describe Calvin turned her stomach and chilled her blood, "….now."
"You're the desperate bitch Viv talked about."
"Yes….." nodded Olivia slowly, reluctantly conceding enough power to ensure Calvin's safety, "… yes it's true, you're right. Calvin and I have a history."
"Till you realised what a waste of fucking oxygen he is….." kicking Calvin hard in the side Johnny's laugh was volatile and cut glass, "…. ain't that the truth cuz?"
"Yeah, yeah waste of oxygen…." muttered Calvin, finding the kind warmth of Olivia Benson's deep brown eyes and allowing himself to get lost in them, "… that's me."
"He knows his place, don't you Cal."
"Johnny? I just got off the phone with ADA Cabot and we're working on a deal for you….." nodding slowly as he entered the scene Nick Amaro narrowed his eyes at Olivia and acknowledged the dance they were about to engage in together, "…. but we can't start talking terms until you give up that gun."
"She gonna drop the rape charge?"
"Let Calvin go and we'll…."
"She fucking wanted it….." rolling his eyes back in his head as Johnny dragged him up by the collar of his shirt Calvin shuddered in disgust, "….little rich bitch got no business accusing me of shit I didn't do. She fucking deserved to….."
"Johnny you're hurting him….." swallowed Olivia, bending down slowly and surrendering her own weapon as Calvin's face grew redder and redder from the tight choke hold Johnny had on his collar.
"Liv…." hissed Nick, as she took steps he didn't recognise in their usual tango. At least she was wearing a vest, he thought, his eyes darting the room for secondary escape routes.
"Yeah, yeah Liv what you doing?" asked Johnny nervously, as Olivia took slow steps toward him with her empty hands held upturned in surrender.
"Let him go…" she whispered hoarsely, keeping her emotions in check and making no sudden movements, "….and you can have me."
"Livia don't….." warned Calvin, his eyes widening as he shook his restrained head back and forth rapidly in panic.
"Damn Cal this bitch gives a shit….." unnerved not only by Olivia's persistence but by the way she looked at his cousin Johnny's body tensed.
"Johnny just let him go and….."
"Livia please don't come any….."
"What'd you do Cal?" it was beyond his realm of comprehension, beyond anything he himself had ever experienced. Johnny could not understand why this beautiful, kind eyed woman was putting her life on the line for a member of his family. The only love he had ever known had come with a price, and he had paid it every time, "You found yourself a toy boy?"
"Fuck you Johnny!" seeing red Calvin fought hard against his cousin's restraint. No one talked about Olivia that way. She may have hurt him, he may have been bruised by their relationship but she was the closest thing to completely perfect he had ever known. He loved her more than his own mother, even after all these years.
"You fuck yourself a MILF cuz?"
"SHUT UP!"
"You get yourself a fine piece of cougar ass to….."
"YOU BASTARD!"
As Calvin broke free from Johnny's grip and lunged at him with the full force of his body weight, shots rang out. First to fire was Amaro who only grazed Johnny's shoulder in a bid not to hit Calvin in error. As the two boys scuffled and Calvin fought to wrestle the gun from his cousin Nick yelled warningly and Olivia lost her professional head, pleading with Calvin for his own safety.
"Back off bitch!" snarled Johnny as Olivia approached.
"DROP YOUR WEAPON!" demanded Amaro, finger poised as he aimed his gun at Johnny.
"CALVIN RUN!" yelled Olivia, making her move and attempting to knock the gun from Johnny's hand.
"LIVIA!" knowing Johnny was more than capable of murder without remorse Calvin saw his cousin's finger pull and, in a heartbeat, threw himself with everything he had at Olivia.
"OLIVIA!" hollered Nick in horror as Johnny's gun went off and bullets flew.
"OFFICER DOWN, OFFICER DOWN!" came the shout from the doorway as Calvin and Olivia hit the floor and in response Nick fired two clean shots at Johnny Arliss' chest.
