Chapter Notes
I can't tell you how grateful I am to all of you who faithfully review this story. Even though I don't have the time to review-reply much these days, please know how incredibly touched I am that you make the effort to send me your thoughts. Thank you.
My beta-Goddess is Irritable_Grizzzly who I can't thank enough for mediating my ongoing vendetta with the question mark. (He knows what he did.)
Huge thanks to pre-readers 1Lavishone and J_e_n_n_.
Disclaimer: Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.
Enjoy.
Chapter 11 – Father's Day
When a male vampire mates, it's undoubtedly the most profound occurrence he'll ever experience in his infinite life. It's like a cast-iron bond forms, shackling us to our partner and permanently altering our personality. Suddenly, there's nothing in the world more important than her - our other half. The tedium of finding things to fill our immortality is replaced by the overwhelming passion and need for her presence, her body. The compulsion to posses her in every way, isn't voluntarily given. It's required. An irresistible impulse that draws you to her, ignorant of rationale or free will.
That's the description I'm familiar with, anyway.
Every member of my family has tried to describe the mating bond to me more times than I care to count, and each time I dismissed their grand romantic notions with an exasperated sigh and a roll of my eyes.
I didn't believe them.
It all sounded so...unlikely. Too powerful and too passionate. I thought they were exaggerating.
Of course, now I realize their words were ridiculously weak, and completely incapable of warning me against the full force of emotions that erupted within me when I met Isabella. As a vampire, I was used to having heightened emotions, but I just never really had any positive ones. Dissatisfaction, bitterness, regret, jealousy - all of which I was more than well-acquainted with. But lust, wonder, pleasure, happiness? I had no idea that my body was capable of experiencing such things, and not only that, but feeling them so incredibly powerfully that it was like they were infusing every cell; filling the dark, cold spaces that had made up the illusion of my existence until I found the only thing that truly mattered. Meeting Isabella had transformed me into someone completely different: someone who laughs, and sighs, and craves something more than just blood and death. Someone who finally understood the addictive electricity of orgasmic flesh. Someone who had, after so many years of aimless searching, found something worth living for.
The fact that I had recognized a human as my mate was bizarre. Even Carlisle, who had spent so much time with the Volturi, learning vampire history and reading their stories, hadn't heard of anything like this. More unbelievable was that Isabella was also my singer. I calculated the odds that fate would decide to burden me with two outrageous sources of temptation in the same being was around the same as someone getting hit by consecutive lightning strikes twenty-seven times.
Of course, if God hated someone as much as my God hated me, then an unlikely lightning-palooza was more than possible. Probable, even.
What's more, apparently delivering my perfect unlife-partner to me in an outrageously fragile body whose blood smelled like every version of heaven I've ever imagined wasn't enough for my vengeful and vindictive God. Oh no. He also had to burden me with one more issue no other vampire on the planet had to contend with in regards to their mate.
Her father.
My already-cold skin got even colder as I watched on the surveillance monitor as Chief Swan's police car screeched to a halt outside my house. He got out of the car and slammed the door violently.
"Oh, crap," Isabella muttered. "He looks pissed."
I knew I had no reason to be afraid of Chief Swan. Even as he adjusted his gun belt and appraised my house, I was more than aware that he was a human man, and therefore incapable of hurting me in any physical sense without a good dose of luck and a weapons-grade incendiary device. Still, I was helpless to stop the knot of nervousness that quickly coiled inside my stomach, jolting anxiety through my dead body.
"Just out of interest," Isabella said carefully, "what would happen if my dad shot you?"
I looked at her sharply.
"Is that something he's likely to do?"
She shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm just interested to know."
"Well," I said, exhaling, "he'd quickly find out I wasn't human when the bullet ricocheted off me and possibly wounded him."
"Oh, wow," she said in quiet awe. "Why do I find that so hot?"
"Your father getting wounded?" I asked, frowning.
"No, bullets bouncing off you. It's like you're a super-hero."
I hesitated to remind her that superheroes didn't usually have the blood of thousands of murders on their hands. Technically I was a super-villain.
I looked back at the screen as the Chief adjusted his gun belt again before setting his mouth in a determined line and heading toward the house.
"Wait here," I ordered as I flew up the stairs and opened the front door just as he was stepping onto the landing.
"Good evening, Chief Swan," I said with as much warmth and sincerity as I could muster. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
He looked me over carefully, not bothering to hide his disdain.
"Pleasure, my ass, douchebag," he thought bitterly. "You'd better not have even looked at my daughter sideways or I'm going to put you in the ground and make it look like a goddamn accident."
"Mr. Cullen," he said aloud, his voice tight with tension, "I'd appreciate it if you'd cut the small-talk and get my daughter out here. Right the hell now."
Okay, so at least he's not here about the murders. Score one point for the recently-framed vampire.
"Ah...certainly. Let me just get her for you."
As I turned around, Isabella appeared in the doorway, looking anxious.
"Hey, Dad," she said lightly, but I could hear the trepidation in her voice. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Bella," he said, and I could tell he was trying to suppress his anger. "What the hell was I supposed to think when I arrived home this morning after investigating TWO murders in our town, only to find you missing? Window broken...bed not slept in...purse and cell-phone in your room...truck in the driveway? Dammit, Bella, I've been going out of my head with worry all damn day! I was just about to issue an APB on you!"
"Oh, God," Isabella groaned, and I knew she hadn't even considered the consequences of her unexplained absence. To be honest, neither had I. "Dad, I'm sorry."
"Two murders, Bella! TWO! Kids who just happened to attend the same Halloween party as you did last night. There was no note from you! No phone call! Nothing!"
"Dad..."
"I thought I was going to find a third body any second and it would be you!"
He put his hands on his hips and dropped his head, and I saw dozens of scenarios flicker through his mind in which Isabella was cold and dead, her throat ripped out, her skin grey and dull.
They were scarily similar to the images my beast thrust into my skull several times a day, making my mouth drip with venom at the thought.
"Dad, I...I didn't think," Isabella said, obviously upset. "I'm so sorry."
He pushed the images aside and sighed.
"I called Jacob. He's sick and couldn't come to the phone, but Billy told me you weren't there and that Jake was mumbling about you breaking up with him. I called the diner. They hadn't seen you. I even called Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley, for God's sake. Eventually I resorted to calling Sam Uley on the off-chance that he and the La Push boys knew anything. He told me I'd find you here. Why the hell does Sam Uley, of all people, know where you are, and I don't?"
Isabella watched her father silently as he took a deep breath and exhaled noisily. He eventually looked up at her and the strain of what he'd been through was obvious in his eyes.
"Don't you EVER put me through something like that ever again, young lady. Do you hear me?"
Isabella nodded and walked over to him. He pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tightly, and although I knew I shouldn't be jealous of her father, I was.
He was holding her warmth against him and I craved it. Desperately. I didn't like that I had to share Isabella, even with her father.
Finally he stepped back and looked at me before turning back to Isabella.
"Now that I know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere, would you like to tell me exactly what the hell is going on here?"
Isabella glanced at me quickly.
"Uh, Dad, this is Edward. Edward Cullen."
"I know who he is, Bella," her father said, tersely. "We met last night after Mr. Cullen demonstrated his blatant disregard for the safety of other motorists and himself by doing a hundred and thirty in a sixty zone."
Isabella glanced at me, surprised.
"You didn't tell me my father gave you a speeding ticket?"
I shrugged.
"It didn't come up."
Chief Swan looked at me and back to Isabella with narrowed eyes.
"What exactly is going on between you two?" he asked with the air of a practiced interrogator. "Bella, is he the reason you broke up with Jake?"
Isabella sighed and shook her head.
"No, Dad. I broke up with Jake because I didn't love him. Well, not the way a girlfriend should love a boyfriend anyway. I should have broken up with him a long time ago. Meeting Edward just made me face facts."
"And where exactly did you meet Edward?"
Her eyes flicked briefly to mine and I knew she was nervous about lying to her father. Realistically, she couldn't tell him that we 'met' when I started crawling through her bedroom window and pleasuring her while she slept.
"I met Isabella at the diner," I interjected, using the story she had told Jacob and trying to relieve her of the burden of deceiving her father. I wasn't well-practiced with lying, and yet I was still fairly certain I'd be better at it than she was.
"I started having lunch there when I first moved to town. She was my waitress. I was fascinated by her, but I knew she had a boyfriend."
A giant, idiot boyfriend who I've wanted to eviscerate on more than one occasion, and dearly wanted to kill last night.
"I see," Chief Swan said, and despite my best efforts I could feel the disbelief in his thoughts.
What a pile of crap. I've never seen him at the diner. This kid is almost as bad at lying as Bella.
"So how did my daughter end up at your house last night, Mr. Cullen?"
This oughtta be good.
"I ran into her at the Halloween party," I said, trying to be more convincing. "She allowed me to dance with her," - up against a wall, all warm thrusting and deep, ecstatic moans - "and then her boyfriend was...unwell," - because I beat him half to death - "and Isabella took him home," - leaving me in a state of purgatory in which I believed the one person I desperately wanted to share eternity with had rejected me. "Then I drove home," - at an irritatingly slow speed before running back to your house where your daughter eventually forgave me and rubbed herself on my desperately aroused body until my sister rudely interrupted us with a dire warning about homicidal dogs.
Chief Swan squinted at me. His thoughts indicated he believed me a little more. After all, what I said was the truth, just a highly edited version of it.
"That still doesn't explain why she spent the night with you," he said.
"Dad," Isabella said, sounding embarrassed that he was asking, "Jake and I broke up. We had a horrible fight, and...I didn't feel like being in the house all by myself. I called Edward and he picked me up."
I was surprised and proud that Isabella's lie sounded almost believable. She was improving. This pleased me because if she was going to continue seeing a one-hundred-and-nine year old vampire while trying to convince her father I was just a regular man, then the truth was going to have to be malleable.
"Uh huh," the Chief said skeptically. "So you two are...what? Dating now?"
I wouldn't call it 'dating', chief. I constantly fantasize about making love to your daughter while draining her blood, but most of our relationship, thus far, has consisted of me pleasuring her while she's unconscious. Very occasionally I'm allowed the sweet relief of being inside her. The only 'date' we've been on involved me slaughtering animals in front of her before thoroughly sexing her in the same meadow where I first witnessed her being grossly sexually unsatisfied by her former boyfriend/dog.
"Uh...yeah...I guess," Isabella replied, and I could tell she was thinking something similar to what I was.
"Yes," I said with more conviction, because I wanted him to know that despite our unorthodox relationship, we were absolutely together. "We are dating. Definitely dating."
The Chief glared at me.
"Well, technically we haven't been on a date yet," I clarified - blood, mountain lion, meadow, orgasm - "but I'd certainly like to. Date her." Among other things. "If that's all right with you. Sir." And even if it's not.
I really did want his permission. If he didn't give it to me I'd continue seeing Isabella regardless, but it would be nice to have it.
I didn't know why I suddenly craved the approval of a human so desperately. Maybe because he was important to her and therefore he was important to me. If he didn't like me, it would be uncomfortable for Isabella, and I wanted to spare her that if I could.
"Why didn't you mention you knew Bella last night when I pulled you over?" he asked, his eyes hard and accusing. "Surely you knew I was her father."
I nodded.
"Yes, sir, I did, but under the circumstances I didn't think it would be wise for me to introduce myself. I had just broken the law and you'd had a long night. Also, you're extremely intimidating."
That wasn't a lie.
The Chief seemed to soften for a moment at my admission before coming back with the question that every new boyfriend in the world dreads.
"So, Mr. Cullen...are you sleeping with my daughter?"
"DAD!" Isabella cried in absolute horror.
My mind reeled with the memories of everything I had shared with Isabella over the past few months – every new, erotic experience; every piece of delectable flesh I had touched and licked and tasted.
I answered with the fervent conviction of someone telling the absolute truth.
"No, Chief Swan," I said confidently, "I have never slept with your daughter."
And I never will, as much as I'd love to.
I knew I was exploiting a loophole in the man's wording, but I figured it wasn't a fair question for him to be asking in the first place.
Isabella looked at me and shook her head minutely. I think she was proud of me.
It felt good.
The Chief looked between us and I knew he was suspicious of my answer, but he didn't voice his doubts. However, he did think them.
I don't trust this guy as far as I could throw him, no matter how convincing he is. But Bella's nineteen. I can hardly tell her who she can and can't date. Doesn't mean I have to like it. He's strange. And too pale. How the hell does someone get to be that pale? Is he sick?
He sighed and adjusted his gun belt again.
"Well, I don't suppose I have much say in what Bella does these days, so if she's chosen you over Jake, I suppose I have to respect that." He turned to Isabella. "But I DO expect to know your whereabouts, Bells, especially when there's a killer on the loose."
"Yes, Dad," Isabella acquiesced quietly.
"How's the investigation going, Chief?" I asked, genuinely interested to see if he'd discovered any new evidence. "Do you have any suspects?"
I knew it would be several days before a full forensic analysis of the bodies could be carried out, and even then I was fairly certain existing testing would overlook the small amount of venom that the killer had left on the body, but I couldn't help but be wary.
"At the moment, everyone is a suspect, Mr. Cullen. We're working in conjunction with the Port Angeles Police Department considering we haven't yet established if the victims were killed there or here, but the kids were local, so we figure it has to be someone from the area. We're currently in the process of interviewing as many people from the nightclub as possible. Which reminds me..." He put his hands on his hips and glared at Isabella. "How the HELL did you and Jake get into Volterra? Neither of you are twenty-one."
Isabella blushed and dropped her eyes to the ground.
"Jake got us fake ID's," she said quietly. "He bought them on the internet."
"Yeah, well, next time I see Jake I'm going to need to insert my foot up his ass about that. He's lucky I don't prosecute him."
Oh, please...PLEASE prosecute him.
The Chief turned back to me.
"I guess you'll be on our list of people to talk to, Mr. Cullen, considering you were there too."
For some reason that prospect made me unreasonably nervous.
"I doubt I saw anything that would help."
"You never know," he said, studying my face closely, "You might hold the key to the whole case."
His words were truer than he could possibly know.
"Fine, Chief," I said with a smile. "Anything I can do to help."
"Good. Come by the station tomorrow. I'll take your statement."
With that he turned back to Isabella and said, "It's getting late, Bells. Can your old man give you a ride home? Billy sent over some fish for dinner."
I immediately tensed up. I hadn't considered that Isabella's father would expect her to leave with him, and I sure as hell didn't want it to happen. She needed to stay with me. Not only for the selfish reason that I'd be in hell without her, but also because I needed to watch over her and protect her.
Plus, just the thought of her not being with me, for whatever reason, made my skin crawl.
She glanced at me briefly and I saw the panic in her eyes. We couldn't be apart. And yet how could she refuse to go without hurting her father's feelings?
"Uh...sure, Dad. Thanks."
Obviously she couldn't.
She walked over to me and looked at me nervously, well-aware that her father was watching our every move.
She gazed up at me and bit her lip, and I wanted to lean down and suck it into my mouth. I wanted all of her. I wanted it more than I'd wanted anything in my existence, and not being able to have it was aggravating in the extreme.
Just one kiss...one pass of my nose across her jugular...one brush of my hand over her breast...
She noticed the look in my eyes and her heart rate sped up.
Unfortunately, Chief Swan noticed too, and thought, Jesus, he's eye-humping her right in front of me. Not sleeping together, my ass. I really don't need to see anyone look at my daughter like that. Ever.
"So, uh...Edward. Thanks for everything. I'll see you tomorrow?"
There was no chance I could wait until then to see her. I tried to control the urge to crush her to me and never let her go. The insane beast inside me showed me how I could easily snap the Chief's neck and then she wouldn't have to leave me. It calculated that he could be dead and buried in the woods within minutes, and part of it relished seeing Isabella's face when I did it.
Godammit, my beast was an asshole.
I pushed down my irrational and violent possessiveness and inhaled, determined to have one last hit of her scent.
"I'll see you soon," I said softly as venom pooled in my mouth, and she smiled sadly before turning and walking to the police cruiser.
I wanted to touch her, any part of her, to feel her warmth once more before she left, but instead I forced my hands to stay by my sides, my skin cold and bereft.
"Goodbye, Chief Swan," I said with a smile, trying not to let the hatred I currently felt for him play across my face.
He nodded curtly at me.
"I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Mr. Cullen," he said before turning and climbing into the car. "Come to the station whenever you can. I'll be waiting."
I bet you will, you Isabella-stealing prick.
He slammed the door behind him, and I stood and watched as the car meandered down the long driveway. A cold, heavy ache in my chest got stronger with every yard Isabella moved away from me, and I imagined my already-dead flesh was becoming even more brittle and hollow without her.
The car was barely out of my sight before I started sprinting after it, staying hidden in the trees, but keeping pace with it as I pulled out my phone and called Alice.
"Please don't murder the Chief of Police," she said as she answered. "That would fall under the category of 'Edward's stupidest ideas ever'."
"I'm not going to murder him," I muttered, as the beast begged me to do exactly that.
Rip the door off the car...tear his throat out...fuck Isabella on the hood in the moonlight.
"Uh huh," Alice said dubiously. "So, what, you're just going slip into stalker mode then?"
"I'm not stalking, Alice. Stalking is the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person in circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear injury."
"Are you trying to tell me Isabella doesn't fear injury from you, because I'm pretty sure she does. So does her father."
"I'm not going to kill the Chief," I insisted.
"You'd better not. I like him. And his mustache is awesome."
"Do I need to tell Jas about your crush?"
"Shut up."
"Alice...truthfully – does he hate me?"
"Jasper? No. He just gets irritated when you sulk. Which is most of the time."
My sister. The comedian.
"The Chief, Alice."
"Oh! Yes. He hates you."
"Wonderful."
"But he's going to let you continue seeing her, at least for a while."
"As if he has a choice."
"Edward, I wouldn't be so flippant about Chief Swan's ability to deny you access to his daughter."
What she said bothered me immensely. She knew something she wasn't telling me.
"Alice," I warned, "tell me what you saw."
"Nothing definite."
"Tell me!"
"He considered arresting you when he found out Bella was at your house."
"What?"
My mind raced as I imagined myself in the city lock-up; shaking with the effort of trying not to rip the bars out of the wall to get to Isabella, my eyes getting darker as the hours passed, my bloodlust becoming uncontrollable, forcing me to reveal my true nature.
"Oh, stop being so dramatic," Alice sighed. "He won't do it, of course, because he doesn't have any evidence, but he'd like to, if only to keep you away from his daughter."
Anger flooded through me.
He may have given her half her genomes, but she was just as much mine as she was his. He had a hand in making her, but she was made for me. How dare he think he has a right to keep me away from her?
"What the hell, Alice? He barely knows me."
"That's true, but he does have very good instincts, Edward. Far better than most humans. And to be fair, you do fantasize about killing his only child on a daily basis. That's enough to turn most fathers off potential suitors."
I unwittingly ran closer to the cruiser and got a glimpse of Chief Swan's face through the trees. It was hard and determined.
Goddammit, why couldn't Isabella have a father who was an accountant, or a gym coach for God's sake? Why did he have to be a trained investigator with outrageously accurate instincts about potentially homicidal boyfriends?
"Whether he likes me or not is irrelevant, Alice. There's no way I'm going to let her out of my sight while there's a killer in the area."
Or ever, for that matter.
"And so you're going to stalk her twenty-four-seven?"
"It's not stalking!"
"Whatever, creeper."
I sighed in exasperation and resisted throwing my phone against a tree.
"Don't do it," she said, knowingly. "Carlisle will freak if you ruin another phone."
"Well, then, I suggest you stop being so damned aggravating."
"And I suggest you lighten up, sunshine. Nobody likes a Broody McBroodster."
"Isabella does."
"Yeah, well, she's strange. Adorable and beautiful, but strange."
I couldn't argue with that. Any woman that knew what Isabella did and still allowed me to be in her life was unusual to say the least. I was eternally grateful for her 'strangeness'.
"So, Alice, apart from annoying the hell out of me, what else have you achieved today? Have you found anything?"
"No. Jas and Em have checked out most of the hotels in Port Angeles and found nothing. If Tanya's in the area, then she's laying low. Carlisle and I have been talking to people in town, but no one has seen any strangers recently, apart from you. They all think you're extremely cranky by the way, which, of course, we already knew."
"Please shut up."
"See? Cranky."
"So that's it?"
"Yep. We've kind of hit a dead-end."
I sighed and changed direction as the car headed into town.
"I'm sure the killer won't wait too long before making the next move," I said, dreading what that next move might be, and terrified it would involve Isabella.
"Unfortunately, I think you're right. We're going to patrol tonight and hopefully we'll find someone, but I'm not confident. What about you? You're just going to hang around outside Bella's house for the night then?"
"That's the plan."
If I thought I could get away with it, I'd also spend a decent amount of time in her room.
"Well, be careful. You need to hunt. If you need me to come and relieve you, let me know."
I thanked her and signed off. The police cruiser moved into a more populated area, so I moved into the shadows of people's backyards, confident the inky darkness would obscure my movements.
Isabella and her father were silent for most of the drive, but as they turned the corner into their street, I heard Chief Swan say, "So this Edward. What do you know about him?"
I cringed as I realized I hadn't thought to tell Isabella any of the fictional backstory I'd told the Chief, in which I was a private stock-trader and aspiring author; and although she did know quite a lot about me – the vampire side of me - none of it was particularly shareable.
"He moved here a few months ago," she offered, and even from a distance I could tell she was struggling to come up with information.
"Anything else?" her father asked gruffly.
"He can't cook eggs. He likes animals."
True on both counts.
The Chief sighed.
"Bells, you've known this man for months and that's the sum total of what you know about him? What the hell do you two talk about?"
"Geez, I don't know, dad. We just talk. I don't usually take notes."
The car pulled up in front of the house and the Chief cut the engine and turned to her.
"Bella, I'm not trying to bust your chops here, but really...think carefully about this guy. I get an uneasy feeling that he's dangerous. Hell, a few months after he moves to town we have two murders? Do you know the last murder recorded in Forks was in nineteen sixty-four, and now we have two in two days? I'm hoping like hell it doesn't turn out to be a serial killer. Also, did you realize that Cullen is the only new resident to move into the area for the past twelve months?"
"Dad, Edward didn't kill anyone."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I was with him last night when the murders occurred."
"No, Bells, you weren't. You left him at the club, remember? Even he admits that. What was he doing between the time you left him and when he picked you up?"
"Getting a speeding ticket, apparently," she mumbled.
"Be serious."
"I am."
"In the time between when he left you and getting back to Forks, he had plenty of time to commit murder."
"Dad, if you really thought that you would have arrested him on the spot, so don't even pretend that you think he did it, because I know how your mind works."
"I have no evidence against him, Bells, but there's something about him that's just...off. I don't trust him."
"That doesn't make him a killer!"
But I am a killer, Isabella. I hate that your father senses that about me. I hate that it's what I am and always will be.
"Do you know where he came from?" her father continued. "Why he's here? What he does for a living? Jesus, Bells, you just spent the night with him and he's a stranger to you."
"He's not a stranger!" she protested loudly. "I feel like I know him more than pretty much anyone I've ever met, except for you, and that's not because of how many useless details I know about his life, Dad. He's strong and kind and fiercely loyal, and I know that he would protect me with his life if it came down to it. What else do you want from him?"
To be the same species as his daughter would probably be nice. I wouldn't mind that myself, but I'm doubting that's ever going to happen, and it kills me to even consider that possibility.
The Chief sighed.
"Look, Bella...just be careful, all right?" His voice was resigned and weary. "As your father it's my job to hate your boyfriends."
"You didn't hate Jake," she challenged softly.
"Yes, I did. I'd come to accept him because he's been around for so long, but I still kind of hated him."
This knowledge made me unreasonably happy.
"Besides," the Chief continued, "something strange is happening in this town right now and it makes me as nervous as hell for your safety."
He was right. Vampires and shape-shifters were roaming the town, and somewhere in the general vicinity, a cold-blooded murderer was killing off unsuspecting residents who'd come into contact with me. I didn't blame him for fearing for his daughter's safety. I did too.
The moment Isabella and her father went into the house, the skies opened and I was saturated by a torrential downpour. I mumbled a string of particularly vehement obscenities at God and tried to find some shelter.
Of course. The humans are safely ensconced in their warm, dry house. Quick, let's saturate the frustrated vampire. What fun!
In case you missed it, God, that was my sarcastic voice. You're a bastard.
I positioned myself in a tree and resigned myself to spending the rest of the night loitering in the rain outside Isabella's house. Quite frankly, I would have rather been loitering naked in her bed with my head buried between her thighs, but I guess it wasn't my choice to make.
Over the next few hours, the full force of the mating bond swung into effect. The ache of not being able to be with her or touch her gradually got worse, to the point of being close to unbearable. I alternated between angrily patrolling the perimeter of the Swan residence, desperate to find a lurking asshole to murder horribly, and gazing longingly at her through windows, desperate to be next to her.
The weather seemed to reflect my mood, and as I got more and more agitated, the sky crackled and rumbled with growing intensity.
Isabella seemed oblivious to both the storm raging outside her house, and the one raging inside my body.
She was quiet for most of the night. Subdued even. The immature side of me wondered how the hell she could be so calm. Didn't she feel it? The clawing, aching anxiety? Why wasn't her skin screaming out for my fingers the way mine was for hers? Why wasn't her frustration expanding like a balloon of violence inside her, making everything tight, and pounding, and painful?
I watched as she cooked dinner for her father, and then watched television with him. Her face was smooth. Unworried. Her heart rate was elevated, but otherwise she showed no signs of distress at all.
The rain drenched me as I watched her, and I started to feel exactly as I did all those weeks ago before she knew I was real: like an outsider. A cold spectator to her warmth, rather than a participant in it.
Perhaps I'd overestimated her feelings for me. Here I was – pacing and fidgeting and practically losing my mind with longing – and she was sitting casually on the couch, watching a group of heavily-padded men throw around a ball like it was actually important.
How the hell could she be so calm?
Maybe the mating bond didn't affect humans the way it did vampires. Maybe they only felt strong emotions when they were with their mate. Or maybe – and this was the possibility that terrified me more than anything else - my need for her was infinitely stronger than hers for me.
My heart sank at the prospect.
Maybe her feelings for me were purely physical; the result of her body responding to the lures of my vampire nature – my face, my body, my smell. Perhaps it went no further than that for her.
Suddenly, her complete lack of obvious discomfort made me irrationally angry.
How dare she not be as tortured as I was?
I glared at her impotently as the rain pelted me mercilessly, the harsh cracking of thunder echoing through the trees.
I wanted her to feel my gaze, burst out of the house, and yell into the storm until she found me. I wanted her to scream and sob her need for me until her voice was hoarse, and then, when I finally revealed myself to her I wanted her to wail in relief and beg me to take her, to possess her body with mine.
I wanted to feel her, and smell her, and taste her, and I wanted her to need those things from me like she needed breath.
Was that really too much to ask?
Instead she stared steadfastly at the television screen, and when her father yelled loudly as one of the padded neanderthals slammed the ball into the ground and performed a ridiculous dance, she actually jumped in surprise and then laughed self-consciously.
Dammit, Isabella, why don't you feel it? How can you NOT feel it when I feel it so intensely?
After what seemed like an eternity, but was actually only twenty-seven minutes, she started yawning and kissed her father goodnight.
I quickly did one more patrol of the area before moving to my tree, and then waited anxiously as she climbed the stairs and entered her bedroom.
Her window was closed, which made me immediately bristle. I didn't care that chief Swan had probably closed it earlier. I didn't care that it was raining, and I didn't care that the pane of glass I had broken last night was probably allowing masses of water to leak into the room. I wanted the goddamn window open. Now.
I watched through the dripping glass as she grabbed her pajamas and headed into the bathroom to shower.
I waited and listened, trying to hear her over the sounds of the heavy rain. It wasn't easy.
The rain was really starting annoy the hell out of me. My clothes clung to me uncomfortably, my hair was plastered to my forehead, and no matter how many times I blinked, I couldn't stop it from streaming into my eyes.
I sighed heavily and drummed my fingers on the tree trunk.
Get out of the shower, Isabella. Get out and open the damn window before I rip it out of the wall.
Eventually, I heard the shower shut off, and a few minutes later Isabella entered her bedroom, wrapped in her robe.
I inhaled instinctively, because there were few things on the planet that smelled better than a freshly-washed Isabella. Unfortunately the closed window and goddamn rain made it impossible for me to smell her, and I growled loudly in frustration.
Why the hell isn't she opening the window? Surely she knows I'm out here.
She sat on her bed and calmly read a book. I ground my teeth together and tapped my foot impatiently.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I was kind of surprised it was functioning despite all the water.
I pulled it out and looked at the text message on the dripping screen.
"For God's sake, she'll open the window when her father goes to bed, you impatient ass. Stop being such an emo-douche. And if you're worried about her not feeling the mating bond, then why don't you ask her? There's a novel idea. Idiot. Love you. Be careful of the headboard.
I laughed despite my sour mood.
Emo-douche? Not an inaccurate description I suppose.
I went back to drumming my fingers and studying Isabella.
She looked so serene, sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed, and her foot gently bobbing. Her lips were parted, relaxed and soft. Her damp hair was swept to one side and I could see her long, smooth neck.
God, I wanted her.
I wanted to peel the robe away and run my lips and tongue over her soft flesh. I wanted to inhale her incredible scent and let it ruin me from the inside out. I wanted warm hands and soft lips on my body...everywhere...making me tighten and groan and beg for release.
I was hard and uncomfortable in my wet jeans.
She'll open the window when her father goes to bed.
Go to bed, Charlie! For the love of God, go now!
A few minutes later Isabella's father rapped on her door before poking his head inside and saying goodnight.
It wasn't long before I heard chief Swan snoring.
In the same second, Isabella was on her feet and wrenching the window open.
Finally!
She glared out into the rain and muttered, "Get your undead ass in here right the fuck now, vamp-boy."
I could only assume she was talking to me.
In a millisecond I was stepping through the window and dripping all over her carpet.
I inhaled so I could confront her about her un-tortured behavior, but the moment I took a breath of the Isabella-scented air, my body exploded with outrageous amounts of lust. The power of it staggered me, and I slumped heavily against the wall, suddenly bombarded by images of naked flesh and sweet, flowing blood.
The few hours I'd spent away from her scent had obliterated any desensitization I had developed, and the rush of conflicting imperatives to fuck her and/or drain her and/or protect her shredded my composure like a boulder through sugar-glass.
I squeezed my eyes shut as my hunger roared, twisting my stomach in knots and making me groan with need.
When I opened my eyes, Isabella was staring at me with a pained expression on her face, and I wasn't sure if she wanted to hit me or tear my clothes off.
At this point, I would have been okay with either, just to feel her hands on me.
"Goddammit," she muttered as she turned, flinging open the bedroom door and disappearing into the hallway.
I tried to steady myself and clear my mouth of the torrents of venom that were flooding it. My throat was blazing and raw by the time she reappeared with several towels.
I knew I was looking at her like she was a meal on legs, but I couldn't help it. I was burning for her blood, and her body, and I was trembling with the effort of having neither.
"Are you going to eat me if I come any closer?" she asked angrily as she looked down at me still struggling to get myself under control.
"Only if you ask me nicely," I whispered through my ruined throat as I pushed away from the wall and stood up.
"You're not funny," she snapped as she placed one towel on the floor to catch the water streaming off me, and started drying me roughly with the other.
"I'm not trying to be funny," I said as I allowed her to pull my head down so she could dry my hair. "I'm being honest. You only have to say the word and my mouth will do whatever you ask of it."
She groaned as she rubbed the towel over my head violently.
"You see? THIS is why I'm crazy. You...you...you're just...GOD!"
She finished on my hair and started drying my face and neck.
"No, I'm Edward," I said, trying to keep my voice even as her sweet-smelling skin screamed at my hands to touch her. "God's the sadistic bastard who's been torturing me outside in the rain all damn night."
She glared at me.
"Torturing YOU? Are you freaking kidding me?" she snapped. "Jesus, Edward! You have NO idea, do you? Take your damn shirt off."
I was surprised by her bizarre non sequitur.
"Why?"
"Just...do it," she gritted between her teeth.
Her anger was unbelievably arousing.
"You do it," I snarled with equal vehemence, and was immediately rewarded with a crimson blush that filled the air with even more of her extraordinary scent.
The beast clawed at my control, demanding me to just take her, and God help me, I wanted to. Not in the way he wanted, with tearing skin and torrents of blood, but her hands, and mouth, and body.
She stared daggers at me for several long seconds and took a deep breath before gripping the front of my shirt and wrenching it open. Exploding buttons ricocheted off the wall beside us and I had to suppress an unbelievably tantalizing urge to throw her on the bed and fuck all of the anger out of her.
"Isabella," I growled as she pulled my shirt off and threw it on the floor before proceeding to dry my chest and arms, "if you want me to remain in control then you're going to have to find a way to not blush so damned much."
She ran the towel down my abdomen, stopping just short of where I wanted her hands the most, and glanced up at me angrily.
"If I can handle you without your shirt on, then you can handle my blush," she snapped as she moved behind me and proceeded to dry my back, her heartbeat and breathing becoming quite erratic.
"You have no idea what sort of torture I went through being away from you tonight," I said, trying to ignore that I could feel the heat from her hands even through the thick towel. "In all my years I've never experienced anything as agonizing as being immobilized with my incredibly intense need for you, only to watch you completely unconcerned about us being apart."
She stopped what she was doing and moved in front of me, her face masked in disbelief.
"Unconcerned?" she said incredulously. "UNCONCERNED?"
I stepped forward and clamped my hand over her mouth.
"Stop yelling," I hissed. "You'll wake your father."
Her eyes widened and I realized how close we were. Her hand was on my hip, and I could feel her lips pressing into my palm. I considered moving my hand and replacing it with my mouth, but Isabella's eyes hardened again, and when she grabbed my hand, I allowed her to pull it away.
"First of all," she said, pointing her index finger at my face, "waking my father isn't even a remote possibility without an airhorn, an epi-pen, and a fully-charged defibrillator, and second of all, YOU THINK I WAS 'UNCONCERNED'?"
She glared at me. I glared back.
"It certainly seemed that way."
She threw her hands up in exasperation and started drying me again, rubbing the towel roughly over my jeans. The friction on my arousal was intensely distracting.
"Christ, Edward!" she cried as she crouched to dry my legs, "I've been going out of my mind all night because all I wanted to do was be with you, and touch you, and make love to you, and because I couldn't do ANY of those things, I turned into a feverish lunatic who wanted to peel her skin off and start breaking things. I felt like a crazy person!
And even though all I could think about was running outside and finding you so I could put myself out of my misery, I couldn't do that because I needed to spend time with my father. My father who I've neglected terribly for the past few weeks, and who spent most of the day fearing I was DEAD, because I've been so wrapped up in you and how you make me feel that I haven't stopped to think about anyone else. And no matter how hard as I try, I can't seem to see past the enormous Edward-shaped haze that's filled my brain from the moment I discovered you were real and not a figment of my imagination. Do you understand how crappy that makes me feel?"
She stopped drying me and her eyes were fiery and challenging. I tried to ignore the searingly hot hand that was gripping the waistband of my jeans.
Before I could answer she continued, "And THEN, I get the double whammy of YOU hitting me with your tennis match of emotions! One moment you're apoplectic with lust, then you're insanely jealous, and the next moment you're ridiculously angry. What the hell, Edward? You make me feel like I have multiple personality disorder, and I had to sit there with Charlie and try like a son-of-a-bitch to hold it all together because I felt like I was being pushed and pulled and turned inside out with need, and I REALLY didn't want my father seeing that side of me because it's completely INSANE that I could possibly want someone as much as I want you!"
She dropped the towel on the floor and rubbed her eyes.
"Isabella..."
"Edward, just take off your pants," she said, wearily.
"Uh...what?"
I wasn't averse to taking off my pants, but I was fairly certain she didn't have the same reason in mind as I did.
"They're soaked," she sighed, looking up at me. "Give me your pants, socks and underwear and I'll put everything in the dryer."
"I'm not wearing underwear."
She rubbed her eyes again and mumbled, "Why? Why does he have to say stuff like that?"
Without another word, she stalked out of the room. I frowned and quickly removed everything, and threw the wet clothes on the floor with my shirt. A few seconds later she reappeared and froze in the doorway when she realized I was naked.
"Holy fuck," she muttered to herself.
I briefly considered covering myself, but the heat of her gaze was too delicious to deny.
"Is that a good 'holy fuck' or a bad 'holy fuck'?" I asked, confused as to whether I'd made her more or less agitated by being naked and aroused.
She dragged her eyes up to my face and said, "It's an 'I'm-still-angry-with-you-so-stop-looking-so-goddamn-edible holy-fuck'."
Edible? Jesus Christ.
"You want to eat me? Well that's a nice change. Please, go ahead."
Please, God, let her eat me.
I could tell I was making her angrier, but I couldn't seem to stop. Her anger smelled even better than her fear.
"Are you trying to make me hit you?"
"As much as I think that would be fun, I wouldn't recommend it. You'd break your hand."
"Not if I used a baseball bat."
"Don't tease me if you're not going to follow through. If I get any harder, I could be permanently disabled."
Her eyes dipped down to my erection before she squeezed her eyes shut and groaned, "WHY are you so infuriating?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
She grunted in frustration, threw a pair of what I assumed to be Charlie's sweatpants at me and mumbled, "For God's sake, put those on," before grabbing my wet clothes off the floor and storming out of the room.
I pulled on the pants and took a few deep breaths. The familiar burn her scent caused in my throat was comforting, but I needed more. I wanted her naked. I wanted my mouth on her.
And she wanted it to. She wanted me. The description of how she felt without me matched how I felt precisely. She was obviously just far better at hiding her discomfort than I was. The intensity of my relief that she was also in hell tonight was only second to the plethora of desires that were currently playing in a loop inside my brain.
I could hear her downstairs, slamming the door of the dryer and turning it on. I fantasized about pushing her up against it and fucking her standing up. The beast fantasized about catching her on the stairs and driving into her so hard that she'd groan in pain before he sank his teeth into her neck.
I heard irritated footsteps on the stairs and quickly came to the conclusion that there was nothing more arousing than Isabella when she was enraged. My cock was aching for her touch. My whole body was screaming for it. I needed her, and before anything else happened tonight, I was going to have her, however she wanted me. I would talk to her about the tortures of the mating bond later. I would apologize for doubting her feelings for me later. Right now, I needed her, and judging by her irrational anger, she needed me too.
She entered the room and closed the door, then turned and glared at me and the fire in her eyes was exhilarating.
"You're an asshole," she said as she untied her robe and slid it off her shoulders.
"Yes, I am," I answered as my eyes raked over her tight tank top and brief sleep shorts, "and that turns you on."
She continued to glare, silently.
"And what turns me on is that you're the most infuriatingly sexy woman I've ever encountered in all my days and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for one second since the first time I laid eyes on you."
I moved slowly toward her and her eyes burned into mine as her face lit with a fierce blush.
"I hate that I need you so much," she whispered and her voice was low and sultry.
"I know."
"It hurts when I'm not touching you."
"I'm going to make it stop hurting."
"How?"
"Take your clothes off."
I stopped in front of her and watched with hungry fascination as she peeled off her top, revealing the glory of her beautiful breasts. She kept eye contact with me as she pushed down her shorts and kicked them away.
I had to temper my reaction to her glorious body because all I wanted to do was be inside her to remove the unbearable ache in my groin. But I needed to take it slow. I wanted to savor her.
I reached out and grazed my fingertips over her collarbone, so delicate and elegant. She inhaled sharply, but didn't speak.
"Your skin," I sighed as I brought up the other hand to brush the impossibly soft skin of her breast, "is like warm silk."
She looked down at my hands moving across her and her heart rate picked up speed.
I did that to her. My hands on her body. My eyes on her skin.
"Edward, you're too far away."
I moved forward and wrapped my arms around her, and when our naked chests connected, we both let out huge, groaning sighs of relief. Our hands moved over each other's bodies, soothing the pain of being apart, but also inflaming our bodies in a different way. In a more breathless, ecstatic way.
My mouth went straight to her neck and I moaned in pleasure as my tongue found the vibrant, pulsing skin that covered her jugular.
"Oh...God...Edward."
Her hands swept across my body and each pass of her fingers dissolved one layer of tension, only to replace it with several more.
"Isabella," I groaned as my mouth trailed down to her shoulder, "I can't be apart from you again. Ever. Do you understand?"
"Yes," she panted and suddenly, my mouth was on hers.
The moment our lips met, it was like someone had started a fire and poured napalm on it. My body was immediately inflamed beyond all reason, and the crawling anxiety that had been percolating inside me all night evaporated completely the moment she started kissing me back.
Despite everything I'd done in my life, all the sins I'd committed, feeling Isabella kissing me like I was precious and worthy of being hers, was as close to redemption as I would ever get. Her skin cleansed me and made me more of a man than I'd ever been when I was human. Her mouth sanctified me, and healed the parts of myself left scarred and ugly by the beast.
I kissed her fiercely and my arms automatically closed around her, pressing her body tightly against mine; her strong, thudding heart pressed to my cold, silent one.
I pushed her back against the door, making a loud sound. I didn't care. Right now I couldn't have cared less if Chief Swan stormed into the bedroom and pointed a loaded shotgun at my head. I needed her. Every part of her. And judging by how she was moaning and rubbing herself against me, she needed me too.
I lifted her up and her legs locked around my waist. She threw her head back as I pressed my erection against her, and I couldn't resist the long expanse of neck she exposed to me. My mouth couldn't get enough of the sweet skin, so warm and pink and redolent with the scent of her incredible blood. I sucked at her throat hungrily, trying to control myself, but it was getting more and more difficult. She gasped and wrapped her fingers in my hair, her chest heaving with fast breaths as my tongue trailed over her collarbone and down to her chest.
"God, you taste incredible," I groaned against her. "I want to taste every part of you. Every single delicious part."
She pulled back and panted, looking at me with wide eyes.
"Jesus, Edward. Bed. Now."
In the briefest of moments we were on the bed and she was beneath me as I cradled my body against hers, my hips rocking gently over her. The sweatpants I wore did nothing to disguise my arousal, and I ground it against her as I kissed her desperately.
Her hands trailed down my back and dipped into the waistband of the pants until she was squeezing my ass as I moved against her.
"You're wearing too many clothes," she panted as I kissed my way down her body.
"I'm half-naked."
"Yes," she insisted, "but the other half is wearing too many clothes. I need you to take them off."
"Not yet," I said, paying careful attention to the tender flesh of her breasts.
"Why not?"
"Because," I murmured as I circled her nipple with my tongue, "the moment I don't have this thin layer of fabric separating us, I'm not going to be able to resist the urge to bury myself inside of you, and I have so much to achieve first."
She tangled her fingers in my hair and gasped, "Such as?"
I moved to the other nipple, swallowing down the venom that was flowing steadily faster.
"Like making you cum with my mouth. And maybe my fingers."
"Oh...fuck...me."
"If you insist."
I kissed down her stomach and smiled against her skin as she writhed beneath me.
"I've been desperate to taste you like this all day," I whispered into her skin. "To feel you on my lips...my tongue."
I moved off the end of bed and kneeled on the floor, pulling her to the edge and gently pushing apart her thighs.
"I think I'm going to start at your knees and work my way up."
"Oh...God...yes."
I started kissing and licking her legs as my hands moved over her thighs, and every sweet moan that fell from her mouth made my need for her increase.
"Is this what you were fantasizing about when I was asleep earlier?" she asked breathlessly as I made my way higher, my hands gripping her hips as I tried to keep myself under control.
"Yes."
"Awesome."
"Exactly."
I paused as I reached the top of her thighs and looked at her, amazed at how beautiful she was, astounded that I was able to touch her and bring her pleasure.
More venom flooded my mouth and my tongue tingled with the expectation of tasting her. The beast wanted blood, but I was going to give it something infinitely sweeter.
"Edward?"
I looked up into her eyes and the deep need I saw there made me shudder with the compulsion to fill that need, to satisfy it, dozens of times over.
"You're the only man who has done this to me. Tasted me...there."
To say I was shocked would be an understatement.
"You mean, Jacob never..."
"No. Jake couldn't find my clitoris with both hands and a map. And he never seemed interested in doing...that. You're the only one. You were the first. Not Jake."
Jacob had this incredible woman at his sexual disposal and NEVER thought to pleasure her with his mouth.
"Jacob's a fucking idiot," I muttered as my mouth closed around her.
"Holy Jesus!" Isabella cried loudly.
How could Jacob have denied himself this? Why would he ever want to?
Isabella's excruciating sweetness exploded on my tongue and I couldn't help but groan. She gasped and arched her back off the bed, and the knowledge that I was bringing her such intense pleasure made my body resonate with savage satisfaction.
Any man would be unbelievably lucky to have you like this, Isabella. The fact that you're mine is something I don't know I'll ever come to terms with, but I'm certainly going to enjoy trying.
I focused all my attention on the soft, swollen flesh, listening to her heartbeat, monitoring the temperature of her skin, being mindful that with every mouthful of venom I purged down my throat, the urge to bite was becoming more and more difficult to control. Her body responded to me with overwhelming intensity. Her hands tugged at my hair and pushed me deeper into her. I obliged willingly, growling loudly as her pleasure heightened my own.
"Oh...dear God," she moaned, raising her head off the bed so she could look down at me. "Do that again."
I growled again, loud and low in my chest, and her heart rate spiked dramatically. She was close.
"Oh...Jesus...Edward..."
I carefully pushed one finger inside her, selfishly wanting to feel the wonder of her body orgasming, and once again I was stunned by her softness and mindful of my hardness. I could feel the dull rush of blood in the veins and arteries as her heart pumped ever faster. I closed my eyes, the sensation overtaking me, and grappled with many conflicting desires. The beast was urging me...no, begging me to make a tiny puncture with my fingernail; salivating and snarling at the thought of tasting her blood and arousal simultaneously.
God, the thought was incredibly tempting. I couldn't imagine anything more powerfully erotic.
I blocked out the beast's seductive whispering before I could covet the idea any further, and slowly moved my finger in a way I knew Isabella found pleasurable. She cried out, her moans becoming louder and more desperate with each stroke.
Yes, Isabella. Cum. God I love watching you cum, knowing I did that to you.
I growled against her once more, and she was undone; arching and moaning as her climax pulsed through her, and a long pleasure-heavy groan filled the room. I groaned my own satisfaction as her muscles convulsed, and she mumbled my name as the tremors shimmered through her body.
"Oh...God...Edward. Oh, Edward..."
I loved her saying my name. I loved her moaning my name. Screaming my name was also good, though less likely with her father sleeping in the next room, despite what she said about him not waking up.
I watched her until she slumped against the mattress, her heavy breaths labored and uneven, then I climbed back onto the bed and held her as she closed her eyes and sighed.
I inhaled deeply and sighed too. I could still taste her on my tongue, and even though her scent was destroying me one breath at a time, I couldn't be happier.
"Well that made a crappy night a whole lot better," she said softly, as she traced random patterns on my chest.
"I'm glad I could help," I said, my lips against her forehead, "considering it was partially my fault your night was so crappy. I shouldn't have assumed you didn't feel the pain of our separation as intensely as I did. I guess...I was afraid that I felt it and you didn't."
She pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked at me with incredulity.
"How could you possibly think that? How can you not know how I feel about you by know?"
I sighed and tried to sort through the myriad of reasons that flashed through my brain.
"Isabella, you have to understand that for most of my existence, I've had the curse and luxury of being able to read the minds of every person I've encountered. I knew their opinion of me while they were still forming it. To not to be able to do that with the one person on the whole planet I actually want to hear is unbelievably frustrating. I've never interacted with someone whose every thought was a mystery to me, and one thing my gift has taught me is that people very rarely say what they mean. They talk in riddles and half-truths, and most of the time they tell people what they want to hear rather than what they want to say. It's truly a mystery to me how humans function in a world of such haphazard communication. "
She smiled and shook her head before bushing her lips over my chest.
"So what you're saying is that you don't trust what I tell you. You need to actually hear it from my mind to believe it?"
She kissed my chest again and suddenly all my words left me, and I struggled to remember what the hell we were talking about.
"No...I do trust you...I just..." She looked up into my face and I found the words I needed. "God, Isabella, I've waited for you for so long that I thought finding you was an impossibility. But now that you're here, I know that I absolutely don't deserve to have you. So when you say you want me...well...I have a hard time believing it. But...Jesus...I want you so much, and more than anything I want you to be mine."
She leaned over and kissed me, her lips soft and unbearably sweet, and when she pulled back and stroked my face gently, her eyes were full of absolute conviction.
"Edward, I'm yours, okay? Completely. Would you like me to get a tattoo on my ass that says 'Property of Edward Cullen' in order to convince you? Because as creepy as it is, I would totally do that if it made you believe it."
I laughed, mostly because it was funny, but also because I was so amazingly turned-on that she would do that for me I felt like even more of a freak than usual.
"I'd offer to get 'Property of Isabella Swan' tattooed on my body, but sadly, the tattoo needle can't penetrate my skin."
"Aw," she said with a pout, "I'd have paid money to see that written on your ass."
"No," I said softly and brushed my fingers over her face, "I'd get it tattooed on my chest. Right here."
I pressed her hand over my silent heart. She gazed at it for a few seconds before swallowing thickly, and I watched a flurry of emotions play across her face. She was quiet for a long time, and when she spoke, I could tell she was choosing her words carefully.
"Edward, I don't understand what the hell is happening between us, but I know that I've never felt anything that even comes close to what I feel with you. It's like I can't not be with you. Like functioning without you is no longer an option. And to be perfectly honest, needing someone as much as I need you scares the hell out of me. I don't want to lose my mind every time you're more than a few feet away from me. I don't want the sick, churning nausea when you haven't touched me for a few hours. It's intense and bizarre, and kind of amazing, but it scares the hell out of me when I consider that I'm human and you're a vampire, and at any moment you could get bored with me and move on."
Oh, Isabella. You have no idea, do you? I will never become bored with you. Ever.
"That will never happen," I reassured her gently.
"Why not""
"Because..."
Okay, Cullen, time to lay it on the line. Explain the mating bond. It may freak her out, but what choice do you have? She's confused by how it's making her feel. Make it better.
"Because, Isabella, leaving you would kill me. Literally."
She frowned.
"What the hell does that mean?"
I took a deep breath and tried to explain the phenomenon that, up until now, had been an exclusively vampire trait.
"Isabella, you're my mate. The one being in the whole world I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with. If I lost you, it would be like amputating one of my limbs and letting me slowly bleed to death. I wouldn't survive it. I wouldn't want to."
Her face crumpled in confusion.
"Uh...okay."
"You look confused."
"That's because I am."
"You're my mate, and I'm yours."
"Kind of like we're destined to be together? Like the universe demands it?"
"Exactly. We're each other's perfect partner."
"Except for how you constantly want to kill me and could squash me like a bug if you wanted to."
"Apart from that, yes."
"Does this happen a lot? A vampire mating with a human?"
"No. Never. This is the first time."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"And you're sure about this?"
"Aren't you?"
I sighed and cupped her cheek in my palm.
"Isabella, do you think this sort of connection happens to just anyone? The constant need? The insatiable desperation? The compulsive physiological urges we feel toward each other are driven by the fact that we're mates. We belong together."
"Huh. Well, thank God for that because I was beginning to think I was seriously unhinged."
She smiled at me, and I waited for her disbelief. It didn't come.
"So, that's it? That's your reaction?"
"Uh...yeah. What were you expecting?"
"Isabella, I just told you that you're destined to be in a relationship with an undead killer. I guess I was expecting some shock...or horror...or screaming revulsion."
She shook her head and smiled.
"You silly vampire," she chastised. "Learning that the man of my dreams is somehow cosmically linked to me and will NEVER leave me no matter how insane I make him? Well, that's pretty much every girl's dream right there."
Just when I think she can't get any more amazing, she does.
"Isabella Swan, you are an endlessly fascinating woman."
"And sexy," she said as she leaned in to lick my neck. "For God's sake, don't forget the sexy."
"Absolutely zero chance of that happening," I growled as I kissed her and pulled her on top of me.
I groaned loudly as she immediately became the aggressor – licking and biting and scraping me with her fingernails.
Everywhere she touched me was instantly inflamed, and within seconds she'd set my whole body ablaze as my throat raged with savage thirst.
When she ground herself against my erection, the sensation was almost too much for me to bear. Her mouth and hands were driving me crazy, and feeling her rub against me and moan with pleasure made the beast stampede around my brain, making outrageous demands.
A violent urge to thrust myself inside her as I tore out her throat shot through me, and I quickly removed my hands from her and buried them in the headboard behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned as the overwhelming bloodlust flooded through me, and Isabella immediately froze, knowing exactly how to react to my battle with the beast.
I stayed still for a few seconds, swallowing the rush of venom and remembering that Isabella was my mate, not my prey. I was determined for her to know that too. When I opened my eyes she was looking down at me with so much concern and affection that I felt my cold heart tighten in my chest.
"Are you okay? Do you need me to get off?"
I released my hands from the crumbling headboard and tried to smile.
"I believe you've already had that pleasure tonight, greedy woman, while I'm still here, achingly hard and losing my mind."
I sounded far more in control than I felt, and was rewarded with a smile.
"Well," she said with an arched brow, "I'll have to see what I can do about that, won't I?"
She leaned forward and started kissing my chest, her lips and tongue immediately driving me back to the point where the lines between my lust and that of the beast started to blur. She nipped gently at my nipples and once again, my hands went back to the headboard, and it bore the brunt of my violent reaction.
I knew I was testing my boundaries by letting her continue to pleasure me when the beast was so close to the surface, but the sensation of having her mouth on me was astonishing, and I wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. I gripped my control desperately, wanting to be a normal, non-bloodthirsty man for her.
I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
She trailed her mouth down my abdomen, and everything turned into fire, and electricity and tensing muscles. I closed my eyes again, grinding my teeth as she peeled down my pants and her warm breath washed over the part of me that was most desperate for her.
Dear God...she's going to take me in her mouth.
No.
Yes.
Fuck...
Yes.
"Isabella..."
My voice was low and strangled, and filled with the pain of knowing I should stop her.
"God, Edward...I want to taste you. Please."
Jesus. She said 'please'.
Every muscle in my body was tense. I had no idea what to do. I knew it was dangerous. I was substantially harder than a human man. If I thrust into her mouth, even a small amount, I could hurt her. Hell, I could kill her. Was I really confident enough about my control to risk that?
I opened my eyes and looked at her, her mouth hovering above my erection, her eyes desperate with longing.
Christ, what would it feel like to have those beautiful lips wrapped around me? Her warm tongue sucking me? I'd only experienced a woman's mouth on me once before and to be honest, I think Tanya did it because she felt she was obligated to, not because she wanted to.
Judging by the look on Isabella's face, that was certainly not the case here. She wanted this.
"Isabella...I want you to. God, you have no idea how much I want it...it's just. It's dangerous."
"Surely no more dangerous than being inside me, and you handled that okay."
She had a point.
"I just...God, if I hurt you...at all...I could never forgive myself."
"Then I'll take it slow. You can tell me to stop whenever you like."
I sighed and tried to calm myself. I needed to be honest with myself as to whether I could do this.
"Touch me first," I said. "If I can handle that, then, maybe."
Small steps. Short strokes.
She nodded and I watched as her fingers wrapped around me, her fist warm and tight and incredible.
Jesus Christ.
"Oh...God...Isabella..."
I was panting for no reason other than I couldn't help myself. She moved her hand along my length and the growl that rumbled in my chest was inhuman to the extreme.
She glanced up at me and froze.
"It's all right," I rasped through fresh waves of venom. "It just feels unbelievably good."
She started moving her hand again, faster and tighter, gaining confidence as I moaned and mumbled her name incoherently. Her face was still close to me and she watched her hand pumping me firmly, a look of awe and fascination lighting her features.
The sheer volume of pleasure that her hand was generating was overwhelming, and even though I could feel my urge to bite her increase as the tension built inside me, I still felt relatively in-control.
She looked up at my face to gauge my reaction.
"I'm okay," I whispered.
"Can I...?"
She looked at me expectantly, but I wanted to hear her say the words.
"Say it. Please."
"Edward, may I take you in my mouth?"
Fuck.
"God...Isabella. Yes."
She lowered her mouth closer to me, keeping her eyes locked on mine as her tongue moved across my tip.
Dear God.
I groaned helplessly. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt. Or seen.
"Jesus, Edward," she groaned softly, "You taste amazing."
I was designed to taste amazing, especially to humans, but in that moment I didn't care. Hearing Isabella say it was mind-blowingly erotic.
She broke eye contact with me and turned her head, and I felt her warm breath all over me.
"I just want to try one thing," she whispered as she leaned over me. "Stay very still." Her mouth got closer and I resisted the urge to lift my hips to meet it. "Don't move."
And then her mouth closed around me, and any tenuous grip I had on my control or sanity was utterly and instantly demolished.
"Jeeesuuuus..."
My brain clouded with thick pleasure and all I could register was warm suction and soft wetness.
My back arched and my hips bucked, and only the hideous sound of Isabella gagging brought me back to reality
She sat up and started to cough and in an instant I slammed myself into the wall across the room, pulling up my pants, terrified about any damage I had done to her. Even more terrifying was that I may have torn one of the delicate membranes in her throat and made her bleed.
The beast really hoped she was bleeding.
"Isabella?"
She coughed again and looked at me in surprise.
"What the hell are you doing over there?" she asked and her voice was kind of husky.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. I just gagged when you shoved yourself down my throat."
"God, Isabella, I'm sorry."
"Edward, it's fine," she laughed. "It happens sometimes. Don't tell me a girl has never choked while deep-throating you. You're kind of...hung."
"Well, to be honest, I don't have much experience with 'deep throating', so, no." And to be fair, Isabella, the only other person who has done that to me has been around for more than a thousand years and has therefore sucked substantially more dick than you. Plus, I'm pretty sure she had zero gag reflex even when she was human, so as a vampire she could probably deep-throat a scud missile. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"
"I'm fine. Really." She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "In fact, I'd really like to try it again, if you think you're up to it."
I resisted making a smart-ass comment about how 'up to it' I was, and instead pulled her against me.
I kissed her and leaned back against the wall, knowing that I should take precautions if we were going to continue pleasuring each other tonight.
"I should hunt," I sighed.
"Can I come?" she asked excitedly.
"Maybe. If Alice comes with us to protect you."
"From mountain lions?"
And me. And lurking, vengeful vampires.
"Yes. From mountain lions."
I saw her glance out the window, and she frowned and squinted into the dark.
"Edward," she said, pointing to my tree. "What is that?"
I turned and peered into the darkness.
"What the hell?" I muttered as I spied a silver disc dangling from the tree, spinning and glinting in the breeze.
I climbed out the window and leapt into the tree. Hanging from a branch was a DVD scrawled with the words, 'WATCH ME'.
Fuck.
Panic exploded inside me. I grabbed the disc and then leapt back into the house, slamming the window behind me and pulling Isabella away from it.
"Where's my phone!" I asked urgently.
"Uh...downstairs in the laundry room. It took it out of your pants when I put them in the dryer."
I grabbed Isabella and flew down the stairs, quickly setting her down and grabbing the phone which had just started ringing.
"Alice, someone was here. They left me a present."
"I know. We're on our way," she said quickly. "Do you know what's on the disc?"
"Not yet."
"Watch it. We'll be there soon."
I turned to Isabella. Fear and confusion were etched on her face.
"Edward, what the hell is going on?"
"Someone was here tonight," I said, pulling her into the living room.
"Outside the house?"
"Yes."
"Watching us?"
"Probably."
"The killer."
"I think so."
"Oh...God."
"I won't let them hurt you," I said quickly, forcing her to look at me. "No one is ever going to lay a finger on you. Do you understand me?"
She nodded and gestured to the disc.
"Give it to me," she ordered, taking it from me and inserting it into the DVD player.
The flat-screen blinked to life and after a few moments of static, a face appeared on the screen, perfect white teeth flashing in a brilliant smile.
"Hello, Edward."
Isabella gasped and grabbed my arm.
"Holy shit, Edward. Please tell me that's not your ex-girlfriend."
...
Author Notes
Oh...bugger. Aborted BJ and now this? Damn you, mysterious killer who may or may not be Tanya!
WindowWard has his own Twilighted thread. Posting hot pics there is optional but highly recommended.
http:/www(.)twilighted(.)net/forum/viewtopic(.)php?f=33&t=8152&sid=&p=1072675#p1072675
(Don't forget to remove the brackets from the dots.)
People often ask about my update schedule. Well, I don't really have one. The chapters happen when WindowWard deigns to grace me with his words, and quite frankly, he's extremely unreliable. But please know I get you the chapters as quickly as I possibly can, even if it doesn't feel like it.
I'm on Twitter if you want to chat or partake of my obscenely large RobPorn collection. Cum play.
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Love you all,
Kiya
