Chapter 11,
Jasper's POV,
Its been two days since the fight, two since my heart got ripped out of my chest. Two days me, Peter and Char have sat here in my room looking at the lifeless body of Bella.
Ive just been staring at her, not looking away not letting the Cullens in not doing anything. I might as well of died with Bella because living without her its killing me. I now knew what Marcus felt like everyday of his 2000 years of existence.
I was bought out of my thoughts by Peter's voice, Its the first time any of us has spoken since the field.
"Brother? We have to arrange the pyre for her body, She wouldnt want us sat here like this. You know how Bella was always the life of the party."
I looked up to him and saw a soft smile on his face, but I could see the pain in his eyes. He didnt want to live without his baby sis.
"I know. What should we do?"
"I think we should have a little ceremony and then burn the body, Maybe Carlisle can do it for us."
I nodded, he was right we have to sort something out, we cant keep sitting here Bella wouldnt be very happy with me. I stood up and walked over to the door and opened it to find all my family sat outside it.
"What are you doing?"
They all looked up to me, Edward was the first to recover.
"We didnt want to leave you but you wouldnt let us in so we sat as close to you as we could."
I couldnt believe how much my family had fallen in love with Bella in the short amount of time that they have known her. She was the most feared vampire in the world and she wasnt used to people liking her, she was used to people running away from her. But my family accepted her as soon as they met her. I was so touched that they would sit outside my bedroom door just waiting to say goodbye to her and to see if I'm ok.
"Thank you, all of you. It means so much to mean."
Carlisle stepped forward, and took my hand in his.
"Son, no matter what you are always going to be apart of this family and so are Peter and Charlotte. Bella was a big part of your life which made her part of our family. She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She went through so much as a young vampire but managed to come out of it a stronge person."
"Carlisle will you speak at the ceremony please? Be like the father so to speak?"
"I would be honored Jasper."
I nodded my head and walked to Alice and Rosalie I put my hands on there shoulders and they looked up to me.
"Will you girls find something nice to put Bella in and some nice flowers please?"
They both nodded there heads and smiled softly at me, Rosalie stepped forward and put her arms around me.
"I'm sorry about Bella, Jasper. She was an amazing woman and I can see why you fell in love with her. She was very lucky to have had your heart"
"Thank you Rose."
I hugged her back, then pulled away from her, I looked to Alice because I wasnt sure how she was going to act now that Bella was gone. Would she try to get me back? Would she be my friend?
"Jasper? I'm sorry for what I did to you. I kept you away from your mate for so long, Im sorry you didnt get more time with her."
I nodded in acceptance to her. What could I say to that? I was still so mad at Alice.
I knew I wanted to say a few words and I wondered whether Peter and Char would want to say anything. I looked over to them and saw that they were still sitting with Bella. I knew that they were unsure of the Cullens. I walked back over to them and put my hand on Peter's shoulder.
"Peter you and Char are always going to be a part of my family. I love you both. And so do the Cullens."
"Thank you Jasper"
"I was wondering whether you or Char wanted to say anything at Bella's funeral?"
"I will. Char's not really in the right frame of mind Jazz. She's finding it hard to deal with. You know how she took it when Bella told us to leave and now she's taken this a whole lot worse"
I nodded my head, I knew what she was like the first time we left Bella at Maria's camp, she was a mess for days, she wouldnt talk, she wouldnt hunt, she just sat in the living room on the sofa staring at nothing. She would never admit it to anyone but she was extremely close to Bella and was scared of living without her because Bella always protected her.
Char was bought into the vampire wars but she wasnt a fighter, the reason Bella saved her was because they had a family connection and she was Peter's mate.
Bella always saw Char as her younger sister and always wanted to look out for her and protect her. She never let Maria see her fight or would punish her, she would take Char to the punishment tent and make her pretend that she was in pain. If Maria ever found out about that at the time, Bella would of been killed.
Every fight we went into Char always fought alongside Bella so Bella could protect her.
Its hard enough trying to picture my life without her let alone everyone elses. For a long time, me and Bella were apart but we found each other again to be torn apart forever.
Alice and Rosalie have gone to look for some clothes for Bella, Esme and Carlisle are sitting in there bedroom, Emmett is kinda staring at nothing, I walked over to my sterio and pressed play not knowing or caring what was in there just hoping for something other then this quite.
May the good lord be with you down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud, dignified, and true
And do unto others as you would have done to you
I noticed it was forever young, one of Bella's faverite songs.
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever young, forever young
May good fortune be with you, may your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or a vagabond
And may you never love in vain
And in my heart you will remain
Forever young, forever young
Forever Young
Forever Young
And when you finally fly away, I'll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell
But whatever road you choose
I'm right behind you
Win or lose
Forever Young, Forever young, forever young
Forever Young
Forever Young
Forever Young
Forever Young
she always told me that, that song reminded her of her Grandad, because he always told her to be young and never let age bother you.
I was taken out of my thoughts by Carlisle,
"Jasper everything is ready, the girls just want to come in and change Bella with your permission."
I thought about that, and knew I wouldnt be letting them changer her. She is my mate and I can take care of her and her needs at this time.
"No thank you Carlisle I will change her you can all wait for us downstairs."
He nodded his head in understanding, and walked out of the room. Rosalie walked in and gave me a red silk dress that was actually Bella's faverite to wear when she was back in Maria's camp.
I took it from her and closed the door after she left. I walked over to Bella and got her changed, she looked beautiful she always did in this dress. I picked Bella up and walked downstairs to everyone waiting for us. I took her straight to the back garden where I saw the wolves waiting in human form, Sam the leader stepped forward.
"Im sorry for your lose Jasper. I was hoping you wouldnt mind us being here, we didnt know Bella very long but from what we saw she was an amazing vampire and person and would like to say goodbye to her."
I knew Bella liked the wolves she was always fusing over them, making sure they had eaten and stuff so I knew she would want them here.
"Its fine thank you Sam."
They walked round to us and stood behind me. I placed Bella on top of the pyre, and walked back to the others. I stood there and looked at Carlisle, I nodded my head in signal for him to get on with the show.
"We are here today to say goodbye to a very special young lady. Isabella Marie Whitlock walked into our life with grace and power, she stayed for love, We lost her through sacrifice. We owe a lot to Bella because without her the Cullen clan would not be here. I dont really know what to say because I didnt know her well but Jasper would you come up here and say a few words about your wife and mate?"
I walked up to Carlisle and shook his hand, I then turned to look at Bella.
"What can I say about the love of my life? Bella we spent so long in the most evil place imaginable, but even longer apart. I found you again because of fate but you were taken from me once again only this time there will be no coming back to me. Darlin no matter where you are or what your doing you will always be the most important person in my life. You are the love of my existence and nothing will change that."
I didnt know what else to say so I walked back to where I was standing previously.
"Peter would like to say a few words but before he does I was asked by Charlotte to play Bella's most cherished song. My Immortal."
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
I would give the very breath from my chest
To give you all the things that my mind couldn't bear
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I'd love to walk away and pull myself out of the rain
But I can't leave without you
I'd love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
My hand always held onto you Bella and I can never move on from you, you were mine always and I never believed that you would be taken away from me. I love you with all my heart and hope one day I will be reunited with you.
Peter walked up to Bella and took her hand,
"Baby sis, what can I say? You were the only one who put up with my bullshit, or laughed at my crappy jokes or I could come to when I couldnt understand what my knower was trying to tell me. For a very long time you were missing from my life and I felt my heart was hollow because of it, but then you came crashing back into my life, Literally I might add. That day when you ran into me in the forest it was the best day of my existence after finding Char of course. Even though we are not true family You will always be my baby sis. I love you with everything I have"
He walked over to me and clapped me on the shoulder, I nodded my head to him and walked over to Bella's body.
I picked up the tourch that was already lite thanks to Emmett, and walked to the pyre,
"Thank you for loving me Bella, thank you for marrying me, thank you for being my one and only for eternity. Goodbye my love, Goodbye my wife, Goodbye my mate."
I then lite the pyre and went back to stand with Peter and Char. I just stood there watching her body burn, saying goodbye to my lost love.
The fire continued for what seemed life forever but after three hours it went out, But I was still frozen to my spot and looking at where her body used to be.
I was on my own everybody was in the house doing there ownthing, but in the wind so softly whispered I heard those words again.
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
I knew without a doubt that it was Bella, deep inside my heart I knew it was telling me that this was not my goodbye, I would be getting my love back one day I just had to have hope and the faith in mine and Bella's love being that strong.
I will wait a thousand years for you my love
