Toy Fic
Okay, here's how I know I'm a hardcore Pixar geek. First, in 2006 when I found out that the main character of Cars was named Lightning McQueen, my first thought was Glenn, not Steve. Second point: the new animated film Rio? All I have to go on is one trailer I've seen, but: rip-off of Newt, Pixar's upcoming, not-even-being-advertised-yet film. I don't have any facts; I can just tell. My devotion runs that deep.
11. Feelings
"Woody. Woody, Woody, Woody, check this out…"
Woody glanced up. "What, Potato Head?"
"Look at this," Mr. Potato Head said enthusiastically. From behind his back, he pulled a balsa-wood slate with the image of a woman in a dress.
"What's this?" Woody said.
"Well, it's a lovely princess, fresh out of the box and lost in this great big room. She needs a cowboy to save her, don't you think?"
Woody snorted with laughter and went along. "Why, sure, I'll help you, princess," he said in his best baritone. "What's your trouble?"
Mr. Potato Head puppeteered the figure. "Well, a princess ain't nothin' without a big strong man around, don't you know?"
Woody rolled his eyes. From up on the bed, he heard Hamm speak in a falsetto: "Oh, no, I'm falling!"
Looking up, he saw that Hamm had a second, identical balsa-wood doll, and was slowly pushing it off the edge. Woody leapt to catch it, holding one figure under each arm. Hamm laughed and hopped off the bed.
"It's okay, princesses," Woody said. "Sheriff Woody can save the day again."
"Good catch!" Rex said, genuinely awed.
Slinky chuckled. "This is funny, Woody. Keep it goin'…"
"Hey," Buttercup interjected. "What's the matter with you guys?"
Woody turned to him, confused.
"Come on, how can you put on an act like that right in front of Dolly?" Buttercup continued.
Woody looked over to Dolly, across the room. Dolly was frantically slashing her hand back and forth across her throat, trying to get Buttercup to stop.
"What about Dolly?" Woody said.
"Oh, like you don't know?" Buttercup said. "She's had her eyes on you for a long time."
"Stop it, stop it, stop it…" Dolly hissed.
"But—" Woody began.
"I know, you can't tell, 'cause they're googly, but trust me, they're on you."
"Hey, tough guy," Dolly interrupted. "You don't have to speak for me."
"Of course," Buttercup said. "I just think it bothers you, him doing his little princess playact with you right here. Obviously, that gets to you, and…"
"Shut UP, Buttercup."
"Oh, never heard that one before," Buttercup grumbled, walking away.
Dolly angrily watched him go, then looked up at Woody.
"Dolly, I… is that…?"
"True? No. You're insensitive, overbearing, and obsessed with hitting on Disney Princesses. Not my kind of fella."
Dolly turned to leave. The four toys surrounding Woody began to step forward.
"Hey, listen—" Hamm called angrily.
"You got my pal all wrong—" Slinky began.
Woody held out his hands to stop them. "Let her go, guys," he said. "If that's how she feels…" He shrugged.
Dolly slipped under the bed. Trixie, the Peas, and Mrs. Potato Head came in after her.
"Hey, liar," Peatey said, smirking.
"Dolly," Trixie said, "why would you say that to him?"
"I meant what I said," Dolly said firmly.
"But you love Woody." Peatrice said. "You told us."
"I changed my mind," Dolly said, sitting down on a dusty board game.
Mrs. Potato Head stepped up to Dolly and sat next to her. "It's all right, Dolly," she said. "It'll be okay."
"Trixie, how's things with Rex?" Dolly asked.
Trixie giggled. "Oh, he's just so funny. We have a good time."
"And Adam?"
"Well, as we all know, there's talk of a playdate," Trixie said. "And you can bet I'm not gonna miss that… but come on, what about you?"
"Me? Nothing's going to change," Dolly said. "It's that simple."
