Special thanks to mercyandmagic for her lending me her chemistry knowledge. Don't try this at home please.


If I had to pick my partners for this project, you three would not be my top choices. Not by a lot.

Urie scowls at his labmates. Mutsuki stares at the printed instructions as if he's never seen any of the diagrams before in his life. Saiko blows bubbles in her soda through a straw. Which she shouldn't even have in a lab.

"Okay, that's it," snaps Shirazu, snatching the can away.

"Hey!" Saiko glares at him.

"It's dangerous," Shirazu says. "You can't be drinking that when we're supposed to be doing synethesis."

"Shouldn't you have your hair tied up?" Saiko counters, her chin resting on her fist.

Shouldn't you all actually be doing something? Urie wants to scream.

"This looks impossible," Mutsuki remarks.

"It's making acetaminophen. It's challenging, not impossible," Urie retorts. His roommate flinches. "And if you think it's impossible, I don't see how you will pass chemistry class."

"Because we have you," Saiko chirps, offering Urie a toothy grin.

Urie grits his teeth. "Well, we have to get to work."

"We have until Tuesday," points out Shirazu. "Relax, man."

You relax. Urie needs to make honor roll. He needs to get a scholarship to escape this shithole.

"Kaneki said he'd help us," Mutsuki pipes up.

"Yeah, I'll be he did," grumbles Urie. "That idiot's got a literature brain. He's useless in—"

"I hear he gets top grades," interjects Shirazu, gaze hardening.

Don't make me punch you. Because that could get awkward, seeing as they share a room. And poor Mutsuki would probably be traumatized by his two roommates fighting. Urie's never met a weaker person in his life. How Mutsuki's supposed to pull off one of the major leads in the play, Urie doesn't know. It's not like he's not capable, but Mutsuki needs to get out of his stupid shell. "We don't need Kaneki. We can do this on our own."

"Whatever you say," Saiko says, her eyes glazing over. "It's Friday. TGIF, am I right?"

"Want to watch a movie tonight?" Shirazu asks. "There's this new—"

"As long as it's not bloody," Mutsuki interjects. Mutsuki's face turned as green as his hair in biology the other day during dissections, and Yomo ordered Shirazu to take Mutsuki to the nurse's.

"Sure thing, Tooru," Shirazu agrees.

"Guys," Urie growls. "Can we please try to—"

"Of course!" Saiko snorts as she straightens and shuffles her papers. "Right on. Reading now."

Urie can't take this. Looks like I'm going to wind up doing this all by myself. Again.

The bell rings, and they've made next to no progress. Urie slaps his forehead, but no one even looks up. "We really need to work on this tomorrow, guys. It's due Tuesday, and if we don't—"

"I'm not giving up my weekend," Saiko protests, scandalized. Mutsuki hugs his books to his chest.

"I already have a pass to visit my sister tomorrow," Shirazu objects.

Urie rolls his eyes. "Well, how long will that take?"

"All day," Shirazu says. "She has cancer, okay? And our mom dumped us because she didn't want to watch Haru die. That's why I'm here."

Oops. Urie's face burns. He feels as if he could melt like a candle in an oven. "Of course. I'm—sorry to hear that."

"Oh, Shirazu," whispers Saiko. "That's awful."

"I'm sorry," Mutsuki echoes. "Could we make cards for Haru? Would that cheer her up?"

Urie frowns.

Shirazu's eyes light up. "It might, actually. I've told her about you all on the phone; I'm sure she'd like to—"

"We'll do it, then," Saiko decides. "Tonight. While we're watching the movie."

"If we do it in the lounge, Juuzou's going to want to join," Urie points out.

"I'm okay with that," Shirazu says. "Maybe Kaneki and Hide will join, too. And Touka and Hinami."

Urie nods. "O-okay." So now he'll be forced to watch a brainless movie with people he doesn't even like, knowing his scholarship is whittling away upstairs in his unopened textbook. But the cards—he should make one.

Mutsuki heads to his locker, head down. Urie sighs. He has to meet with that stupid counselor today. Which is pointless, because he's not like the other kids here. He doesn't need help. The one good part about meeting with Furuta is that the principal, Matsuri Washuu, seemed to recognize Urie last time and asked him what his favorite subjects were. Maybe if he can impress him, he'll write Urie a recommendation next year. Coming from the principal, no schools will assume it's a pity letter. He hopes.

"Hello, Urie," says Washuu as he leaves his office just as Urie arrives.

"Hello," Urie says, returning his smile.

"Classes going okay?"

Urie nods. "Pretty well." Except chemistry. "Is it allowed—I mean, if we needed extra time for a project, would we be allowed the keys to—say, the chemistry lab?"

Washuu laughs. The lights in this hallway glare overhead. "Ordinarily, no, but Urie, you seem responsible. I've heard nothing but good things from your teachers. I can ask Tatara."

"I'd like to be able to work in there tomorrow afternoon," Urie says, hope stirring.

"I'll send Tatara an email and copy you." Washuu nods.

You're actually intervening on my behalf? Urie gapes after him as Washuu slips into his office. "Thank you," he calls.

He meanders his way through Furuta's session. Sometimes it almost seems as if Furuta's amused by Urie—his lips look like he's fighting a smile, and his eyes gleam at the weirdest times. Like when Urie's describing his father's death. Which he didn't want to do in the first place.

"You can go," Furuta dismisses him. "Until next week, Kuki. Good luck in chemistry tomorrow."

You heard that? Urie scowls as he stalks back to Dorm Block 20.

"You really have to join us tonight," Shirazu says when Urie arrives back in his room. Shirazu's studying his face in the mirror, playing with his hair, while Mutsuki curls up on his bed reading a book of haikus. Except Mutsuki's eyes glaze over instead of running over the words.

"Boring?" Urie asks.

Mutsuki shakes his head. "No. Kaneki lent them to me." He pushes himself up on his elbow and winces.

"You okay, Tooru?" asks Shirazu.

"Just must've eaten something weird at lunch," Mutsuki answers. "Stomach hurts."

Urie sighs.

"Back to Urie." Shirazu snaps his fingers. "You are joining, aren't you?"

I would rather gouge out my eyes. But it's expected. And fraternizing will help his applications, according to everything Urie's read on the internet. And he needs to make that card. He nods.

"How's your chemistry project going?" Kaneki asks when he joins them in the lounge. Saiko's advocating for an animated fairy tale that sounds repulsive to Urie.

"Terribly," Urie answers.

"Mutsuki, help me with the popcorn!" calls Juuzou, grinning wildly, red strings marring his lips and arm. Despite clearly not feeling well, Mutsuki hurries over.

"How so?" Kaneki wants to know.

"You're not invited," Nishiki shouts from across the room, his arm wrapped around his girlfriend's waist, as Tsukiyama appears.

Hinami elbows her roommate as Yoriko frowns. "You are," Touka amends. Good God, this is becoming a full-on party. Urie's palms sweat. Probably Nishiki and Kimi will make out, especially if Saiko wins this game of rock-paper-scissors and gets to show her romantic happily-ever-after fantasy. "But Kanae's not."

"Have fun," Kanae, who barely emerged from the stairwell, snaps, before ducking back inside. Tsukiyama scowls and storms after his roommate.

Kaneki sighs, rubbing his face. Hide shrugs, flopping down on the couch. "Can I help at all?"

I don't need your help! "No," Urie says in a tight voice. "Not unless you can get my partners to actually take it seriously." Did I just say that?

"Oh." Understanding dawns on Kaneki's face. "Hey, Mutsuki!"

"Yeah?" Mutsuki carries a huge bowl of popcorn over to the couch. Hide grabs the bowl, tossing several kernels at Juuzou, who laughs hysterically. How is Kanae banned but not this kid?

Only the RAs, Kurona, and Ayato don't want to come, Urie realizes. He's envious. Shinohara peeks out of the door to his room, and Juuzou runs over to offer him some popcorn.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing?" Mutsuki offers.

"Urie's putting overtime on your chemistry project," Kaneki says.

"Oh—yeah, he mentioned that." Mutsuki offers Urie a faint smile. "I can help."

It's something. Even if relying on Kaneki to get it chafes at Urie. Why didn't I ask Mutsuki?

I'm not good enough on my own.

No. Urie clenches his fists. I am good enough. I am. I am. I am!

I will be.

"I win!" cheers Saiko, throwing her hands in the air. Shirazu groans, head slumping down to his chest.

"Shirazu," complains Touka. "We were all rooting for you."

Nishiki opens his mouth as if to agree, and then shuts it when Kimi chimes in: "I'm looking forward to this one." And now Nishiki's smiling, the bastard.

"I don't care," Hide says. "Any movie can be good, so long as there are good characters."

Urie snorts, sliding down to the floor. His mind churns ahead, planning his entire day tomorrow, from what chemicals he'll use to how much, and by the time the movie's over, he couldn't even say if he liked it or not.


"It's cold out," Mutuski remarks as they head down to the chemistry lab just after lunch. He hugs himself and hops over a loose cobblestone.

"The lab's heated," Urie responds. The principal came through for him, and Tatara dropped off the lab keys with Shinohara.

Mutsuki hunches his shoulders as they climb the stairs to the second-floor lab. Then he frowns. "What's he doing?"

Urie peers over the railing to see Juuzou hugging a tree branch, a sketchpad in hand. "Maybe Uta gave him extra homework and he actually decided to do it instead of biting off Uta's ear. Or nose."

Mutsuki snorts. "I like Juuzou."

"Huh?" Urie fumbles to unlock the door.

"He's strange, but so is everyone," Mutsuki says.

"Only here," Urie grouses. "Not elsewhere." How long have you been in institutions like these?

He remembers his father, and how he complained after arresting more and more people related to the investigation taking over his life. How they had to arrest kids, sometimes. Urie remembers his father working late into the night. He never slept.

Those kids would have ended up here, Urie realizes. Maybe some of them are still here. Hell, maybe Mutsuki's one of them.

And Dad died before he could finish his work. Urie swallows. Can't think about that now.

"Are you worried?" Mustuki questions, putting his lab coat on. "We'll figure it out, Urie. We have time."

"We have several different things to synthesize," Urie reports. "If we make the acetaminophen today, we'll be all right."

"Okay. Just—tell me what to do." Mutsuki holds out his hands.

You didn't read ahead of time? Urie scans the pages. It is more complicated than it should be. "Screw these." He shoves them to the side.

"Huh?"

"There's gotta be a shortcut," Urie says, gathering the ingredients. "If I can use bleach as a reagent to oxidize the ethanol into an acid, with ammonia as the base, the 4-aminophel will react with the acid and make acetominophen."

"Oh. Okay." Mutsuki fumbles to discard his own instruction sheet. He looks lost. Seriously, what kind of education have you even had?

"And if we heat it it'll work even faster," Urie muses. "I think. Mutsuki, pour me 500 milliliters of bleach." He reaches for a round-bottomed flask. "And grab a stir bar too!" he hollers. Perusing the cupboards for ammonia, he decides to ignore the suggestion printed on the papers about working in a fume hood. They don't need to. They're not working with anything terribly dangerous. He slips gloves on and shrugs into his coat.

Mutsuki's bob is long enough that Urie wonders whether he should tie it back, but Mutsuki doesn't appear to consider it, so Urie won't bring it up with him.

"Let's get a flame going," Urie says. Mutsuki gives him a timid smile. It's actually almost cute. He may not be super creative, but he can follow orders.

"It smells weird," Mutsuki comments.

"Don't breath it in," Urie says, rolling his eyes.

"I won't." Mutsuki frowns and peers at their sheet again.

"Irrelevant," Urie snaps. Come on, Mutsuki. "We've deviated already from the instructions, we—"

Mutsuki coughs.

"Cover your mouth, would you?" Urie grunts. His eyes sting. Damn allergies. "Do you have the flu or something?"

"Huh?"

"This cough, and your stomachache yesterday." Urie's own throat tickles. Hopefully Mutsuki isn't spreading his germs.

Mutsuki shakes his head. "Can I open a window?"

"It's cold. Suck it up and go check the heat—you can do that, can't you?"

Mutsuki looks hurt, but he obeys. Urie turns away to look at the plans he's drawn out when he hears another rasping cough. And the sharp sound of glass shattering.

"Oops," Mutsuki ekes out.

Urie whirls around to see their experiment splattered over the counter and the floor, shards of glass winking and taunting him. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry!" Mutsuki clutches his face.

"You—you—we'll have to—no, I'll have to—" Now Urie's eyes burn and he can feel actual tears. I'm going to fail—and now Principal Washuu will want to know how it went, and I'll have to tell him, or lie and become just like these delinquents—why did you have to die, Dad? If it weren't for you—why am I here? Why am I stuck with all you incompetent barnacles? His thoughts race, decking him again and again in the gut. His chest aches. His lungs tighten. His knees crunch the glass as he kneels. "God fucking dammit!"

Mutsuki flinches, gaping at him. Tears bead in his eyes.

Oh, hell. Look at us. A couple of failures.

Why do I always get the short end of the stick? He thinks of Takeomi, that stupid glib senior who still has his dad and will certainly get scholarships, and how he looks at Urie like he's just a stupid kid. "I'm giving it my all," he bursts out, his fingers slicing against the glass. Fuck it! "Why—you're all in my way—I've never liked any of you, I hate you, I hate all of you—Shirazu, Saiko—you can all just fail, I don't care, but why—" Why do you have to drag me down with you?

His chest heaves, and his eyes burn like they're on fire. Dad, why are you dead?

"Urie…"

Shut up, shut up, don't say anything! I meant it! But he doesn't feel better for having said it. The words sear his esophagus, curdle in his stomach. He doubles over, muffling a sob. He's shaking. He feels like he's falling.

He feels arms encircling him, pulling him up. Mutsuki?

"It's okay," Mutsuki's saying, and Urie doesn't understand how or why he could say that. "We're not in your way—it's painful being alone—it's agonizing." His voice breaks.

"Huh?" Urie gapes up at Mutsuki. His chest shudders, and all he wants to do is cry, and the look on Mutsuki's face—it's like he'll let him. And I just told you why would you be so kind? Why?

Mutsuki sighs and lets him go, crawling across the floor, gathering the glass in his palm. You—And then Urie's eyes catch on a red blotch staining the back of Mutsuki's pants. "You're hurt!"

"I am?" Mutsuki sits up, examining his palms.

"No, your—" Urie stops himself. The stomachache… He swallows. His throat aches as if hands close over it. He leans over, hacking.

"Urie!"

"I'm okay," he ekes out, wiping his face. You're—a woman?

Or are you? Does it even matter?

It doesn't.

Mutsuki's face drains as if he's just realizing what Urie's talking about. He sinks back on his heels.

"I wouldn't—tell," Urie manages. You're too good for this place, Mutsuki. I'm—sorry.

Mutsuki nods. "I won't, either."

Shame shoves its fingers down his throat. The room spins, glass shards and the window and its light, the mess of ammonia and bleach, Mutsuki's face looking at him without any condemnation despite how cruel Urie was to him—we're both alone.

Help. Help me.


"Are you really that stupid?" Juuzou wonders, peering in through the chemistry lab window. Even from this far away in the tree, he can tell that Mr. I'm-The-Smartest is mixing two chemicals that are going to get both him and Mr. Quiet killed.

Well, whatever. Juuzou turns back to his drawing of the giraffe. He remembers Mama teaching him about them. He's always wanted to see one in real life, but apparently he has to go to a zoo for that. And no one's exactly volunteering to take him on trips. They all look at him with disgust in their eyes. Except for that senior, Kaneki, but he looks at everyone like they're fun. And Shinohara.

Speaking of Shinohara, he's planning an ice cream event for their dorm. Juuzou overheard him talking with Amon about it. He even said he would let Juuzou help set it up. The sketch of the giraffes turns into one of ice cream.

Juuzou peers into the lab window again. No sign of Urie or Mutsuki. Maybe they're dead.

He hops down from the tree, climbing the stairs to the second floor lab. He could get a kick out of taunting Urie for this. Peering through the window, he catches sight of both Mutsuki and Urie crouched on the floor, crawling around and coughing.

He taps on the glass. Urie peers up, his eyes and streaming.

Oh, what the hell? Juuzou shoves the door open. "So, Kuki Urie, tell me again how you're going to get a scholarship when you don't even know that ammonia and bleach make chlorine gas together?"

"What?" Urie gapes at him.

"You should probably get out of there," Juuzou says, pinching his nose. "Unless of course you want to die. In which case, can I send Seidou in to join you?" You don't believe me, do you? Your loss. He turns to leave.

Mutsuki gags. Urie grabs Mutsuki's arms, hustling him out the door and slamming it behind them.

"It's a chemical weapon," Juuzou informs them, slinging his arms back and sliding them across the railing. "Creating it's a crime."

"We can clean—" Mutsuki tries, before a coughing spasm takes over. Urie's face looks ghastly white against his purple hair.

"Nah," says Juuzou. "You really poisoned yourself there, Urie."

Urie doubles over, gulping in air. Wheezing. Juuzou's heard the sound of terror before. "Can't—breathe," Urie ekes out.

"Get—Shinohara," croaks Mutsuki. "Please?"

Juuzou's tempted to ask what will you give me? But he ignores it and nods, sauntering off towards Dorm Block 20. Once he's out of Mutsuki and Urie's sight, he breaks into a run. Neither of them looked like they were in good shape.

He pounds on Shinohara's door. "Shinohara!"

"Hey!" Seidou barks, appearing from the stairwell. "Don't—"

Juuzou flips his RA off. "Shinohara!"

Seidou lunges for Juuzou just as the door flies open. "Juuzou!"

"Mutsuki and Urie made chlorine gas in the chemistry lab," Juuzou reports, yanking his shoulder out of Seidou's grasp. "I'm pretty sure you're going to need Hazmat to clean it up. And they're both pretty sick."

"What?" Seidou shrieks.

Shinohara takes off, Seidou and Juuzou at his heels. They sprint up the stairs, where Mutsuki and Urie lean against the railing, both of them still coughing and with their eyes streaming—from the gas or from fear, Juuzou can't tell.

"My God!" cries Seidou, dropping down next to them.

"Seidou, call security," orders Shinohara. "Now."

"But Mado's—"

"We still have Tokage and the other guards." Shinohara kneels down. "Calm down, Tooru, Kuki. You're gonna be okay. Just breathe deep and slow."

"Wasn't him," Urie croaks. "Was—me." He slams his fist into the cement wall. Blisters mar his hand.

"Calm down," Shinohara repeats, pulling out a water bottle and dumping it over both Mutsuki and Urie's hands. "You're going to be okay. We'll get this cleaned up. It was an accident, right?"

Mutsuki nods, gagging, but no vomit comes up.

"Juuzou," Shinohara says. "Help me get them to the nurse's station, okay?"

Are you sure they don't need to go to the hospital? Juuzou thinks. But he nods, reaching down to sling Mutsuki's arms over his shoulder.

"They're on their way!" Seidou reports.

"Great. Call Kanou and Banjou and tell them to get ambulances ready," Shinohara says. "Stay here until security arrives, okay?"

Seidou nods.

"I'm—sorry," Urie chokes out.

"Don't apologize yet," Shinohara tells him. "Focus on breathing, okay?"

"T-thanks," Mutsuki manages, looking to Juuzou.

You're sincere. Juuzou's impressed.


Wow, Juuzou thinks. The waiting room in the hospital is crowded with Kaneki, Hide, Shirazu, Saiko and her friend Hsiao, and Seidou, who for some reason decided to show he has a heart and got them all permission to visit. Even Kaneki. Urie and Mutsuki have a lot of friends. Which is funny to Juuzou, because neither of them is very friendly.

"They're going to be fine," Shinohara says again. "Just have to spend the night in the hospital for observation."

"Thank God," Saiko sighs.

Shirazu shakes his head. "I can't believe that happened."

"Thank you, Juuzou," says Shinohara, appearing beside him.

"Huh?" Juuzou blinks up at him.

"Urie says you warned them."

"Oh." Juuzou shrugs. "They were stupid."

Shinohara snorts. "Everyone does stupid things at times."

Juuzou frowns.

"I'm proud of you for getting me," Shinohara says.

Proud? Juuzou bites the inside of his cheeks. Blood fills his mouth, but it's never as satisfying as he anticipates.

Look at my pet boy; isn't he great?

But Shinohara isn't trying to show him off. No one's even listening to them—everyone else gathers near the swinging doors to the emergency room while they're in a corner. A newscaster blares a story about a firefighter rescuing a calico kitten. Juuzou smiles.

"You like cats?" Shinohara remembers.

Juuzou nods. You really mean it when you say you're proud of me, don't you?

Somehow that makes Juuzou feel light. He beams up at Shinohara.