11.

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Hope, Believe, Reality

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Requested by sorimashi2 on tumblr

Beta read by Ombree

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Fed by grief and sorrow, rain planned to crash the war torn village beneath it – or what was left of it. The grey clouds felt old, sick, and weak, although they just started to emerge from the horizon behind the Hokage´s faces. They believed they were no use to the universe anymore, so they longed to escape into the deep corners of the world no one else would ever find them in, but the rain managed to hold them down and kept them in their state of shame.

The clouds held an odd resemblance to her.

Never had she felt any grief such as this kind eating her from the inside out, but it was not only the grief that attacked her. She was stabbed in her back, front, and sides from the outside. Danger lurked over every stone she stepped on, enemies she once recognized as friends. They weren´t endangering her life per se. It was those wounds deep inside of her they poorly attempted to heal. Their instinct to comfort made them her enemies, since it hurt. They couldn´t support, since they couldn´t understand. It hurt.

No one could understand.

Only him.

And his life was the one that literally was on the line.

It was this dangerous state he was in that placed her in this miserable situation.

Her generation had dismissed the warnings, had not taken them seriously. She and her comrades grew up in peaceful times, not being able to get to know true danger on their own. She always believed that she was prepared for all things to come but was fooled by oversized courage in their young and wild years. Clinging on the dream to become Hokage, she might have even done way more than her fellow shinobi. Day after day she trained for hours to fulfil that goal of hers, to be the one to protect those within the borders of this land, and even to protect those beyond. The determination settled in her mind and soul years ago and struggled to fade the tiniest bit.

It was what destroyed her in the end.

She had been too weak. She had lacked in experience. She had not been able to protect.

She was an utmost failure.

´You are the only thing I did right.´

They were his words. He believed them to be true. But believe never meant to be reality.

Believe wasn´t as cruel as reality.

Reality was what made him the stoic man he was. Reality was what darkened him. Reality destroyed him.

And finally her.

The only thing left for him was to latch onto belief. He believed because it meant hope. That is what differed them.

In her reality, there wasn´t place for hope anymore. Because reality conquered.

He was about to die.

Because she couldn´t protect him.

Those memories etched her brain, her heart. Until this day, weeks after the incident, the scenario was crystal clear in her imagination.

There they had been, fighting those monsters he warned them against. He fought side by side with his friend, both equalling in the world´s greatest strength. They struggled to keep the upper hand in the battle, and it had been only a matter of time to welcome victory. The Hokage ordered the other shinobi to evacuate the ones in urgent need, and so they did.

She had been one of them.

It happened when she was helping a citizen. Their enemies had seen the red of her eyes, and immediately knew. It was a heredity of her clan but more important, it was a heredity of him.

They had known about his weakness, so they had attacked her.

And they had known what he was about to do, so they had attacked him.

He wanted to safe her. He had done what she had not been able to. Weakened and bruised from earlier fights, there was just as little strength left in her as to stand on her feet without falling.

He had protected his daughter.

The only thing she remembered was the scream of her name and the scream of his name in return.

And the blood.

His blood.

She shook her head to escape those memories. She had mourned enough, and there would be still much mourning to save tears for the days to come.

Her feet carried her over the damaged streets of her home village. Destruction existed in every little corner of Konoha, for the battle occurred only a few weeks ago. The injured were first to be mended, second came the village´s infrastructure. She approached the Hokage faces – or rather what was left of them. There were craters where they once majestically had looked over the whole village and beyond. She jumped into one crater of them, and eyed the village under her feet. It made her regret climbing up there immediately.

Everything looked far more devastated from above.

"Looks bad, doesn´t it?"

She flinched and whipped around. The death battle had made her much more conscious than before, even if it was too late in her opinion.

"Seventh…"

The whiskered man approached her. She observed him while he was set on looking down over his village, seeking in every detail he could miss if he wasn´t careful enough. The older man gestured her to sit down next to him. His legs were crossed, and his eyes looked like they were witnessing the torture of someone who was dear to him, greyish blue, old and wounded. He looked tired and plainly, sad.

"This village", Naruto started, "has been destroyed several times since I was born. This one marks the third time."

Sarada unconsciously hugged her legs to herself after she felt a chill creeping up on her body. She has heard about the dark history of the village, but to witness it in person was something entirely different. That she learned well enough.

"And each time … there were sacrifices to make." Naruto didn´t directly looked at the girl beside him, but observed her from the side. "And sometimes … there are almost sacrifices to make."

Sarada shook her head, holding back her tears. "His condition worsens. Even mama said that." Her voice almost cracked.

Naruto nodded. He tried not to show, but there was sorrow and worry written all over his body. "Sakura-chan knows best of course. But she also knows that there is always hope to hold onto."

"Tch", Sarada said. "Only dreamers believe in hope. Hope isn´t reality."

There was a grunting noise coming from the Hokage´s throat. He might have chuckled, if not for the condition they were in. Also, it held not amusement, but nostalgia in it.

"Now you sound like him when he was younger, believe it."

Sarada turned her head towards the older man, who looked at her in return. "Sometimes …", she averted her eyes away from the blue ones, to gather her thoughts. "Sometimes I feel like this is a bad dream. A nightmare. Too much of it."

Naruto looked to the front again, residing in his own private thoughts. He nodded. "That was what he and I sometimes felt as well. It´s not easy to progress these things, to digest the feelings that come with them. They are things we only hear of. We think we can sympathize with the people involved in those situations as war or death, but are overwhelmed if it hits us directly."

He glanced at her from the side.

"Especially for Uchiha."

Sarada gasped and flinched, and suddenly time stopped. There was no wind she could feel, no birds she heard singing, only destruction to see. And so, so much hurt burning inside of her…

"I heard Kakashi Sensei filled you in on …", Naruto made a dismissive gesture, "Well, you know."

"Yeah…"

It was right after she visited her father for the fourth time in the intensive care unit of the temporary medicinal camp. He had laid there for weeks, lifeless and motionless. There was the beeping sound of the monitors to hear, but that was all. The mighty, respected and feared Uchiha Sasuke had almost lost the battle with death.

The muscles of her legs gave in, pulling her body to the ground. Her arms fell over her father´s upper body, her tears soaked in his clothes which were already wet with red blood, since this was the ninth operation after he was injured. Although the air was filled with the vomiting scent of iron, she still was able to sense her father´s smell. She learned that day how much she missed it, even though she was able to smell it.

The memory made the girl shudder. One hand took her glasses off, the other one rubbed at her eyes, pressing them tears back that were trying to spill out.

Kakashi had pulled her back from her father after watching the scene unfolding in front of him, since he could only endure it for the littlest time. Sakura stood right next to him, trying not to cry into her hands. She always had been strong, but her only true weakness was that of her family. This was the first time she broke down in front of her daughter. She didn´t know if her tears were meant for the threatening death of her husband, or the sorrow of her daughter who would maybe loose her father soon, but it was probably for both.

When Kakashi set Sarada down on a nearly damaged bench wide away from the camps, he noticed the oh so familiar change of Sharingan in her red eyes. It happened the second time, for he knew the first time was directly after Sasuke was attacked while shielding his daughter. Sarada´s eyes had changed then, followed by an explosion of her Susanoo. The creature she had summoned unconsciously, the consequence of her rage. Up to this day Sarada couldn´t remember how she was able to do that. She used her newly awakened power to put her father´s injured body gently to the ground. Her mother had made her way to them immediately after sensing a clenching feeling in her chest. Sakura had known what was awaiting her, but at the sight of her husband she could not hold herself back. She jumped forward, cradling the male body in her arms. Her whole body glowed within the left pieces of her healing chakra, and enveloped her husband´s body into it. The more she understood how drastic the situation really was, the more desperate she became. It was the cries and screams and pleas that still rang in Sarada´s ears that sometimes made her Sharingan awaken again.

"Anata!"

"You just came back, you just made it home!"

"You can´t let everything behind you like that!"

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Think of the boys, do you hear me?!"

"You promised me you would stay by my side for this!"

"You promised me that we could finally watch our children grow up together!"

"Don´t break your promise!"

"Come back to me …"

"Please!"

"…Please …"

"S-sasuke-k-kun… plea…se …"

Sarada shuddered at the memory, and finally allowed a tear to slid along her cheek, to which her hand immediately reacted. There was no time for tears. No excuse. Her mother was overwhelmed by the whole situation, even though she tried not to show it. This time, it was Sarada´s task to stay strong for her family.

A hand found its way to her shoulder, and so her head turned towards the owner.

"Did Kakashi tell you … everything?"

Ah … the conversation …

Sarada was back within her memories again. Kakashi first declined to talk about anything related to the massacre and the Mangekyou Sharingan, but it was Sarada´s words that made him feel responsible for telling her right then and there.

"I … want to understand him, understand what he´s been through. What made him the person he is now and why. He has never told me because he said I wasn´t ready. But given his situation … he might never be able to tell me …"

She had started sobbing at that point. It was a sight Kakashi would´ve wanted to forget forever.

"… B-but … I want to … I want to look at him with understanding like mama does … I want to know who that person really is … as long as … as long as he is still here…"

"I want to see him for what he is … but not after I cannot even look at his face when he is buried beneath the ground…"

From that point on a tale of a nightmare she would´ve never considered possible followed. She had heard about the massacre before, but only little bits. To listen to the words of a man who witnessed it at the time, who was the master of the child who was abandoned by everything when he was seven … Sarada let her tears flow that day, but she never had the guts to visit her father´s tent again.

This happened the day before, and was since then on her mind constantly.

"Yes … everything."

Naruto nodded, and retrieved his hand.

"And … how have you been dealing with it?"

Sarada contemplated, then shrugged. She tried to make it look nonchalantly, but it came out stiff.

"You´re doing the same mistake like Sasuke."

This grabbed the girl´s attention, so she turned her head to look at Naruto.

"He always tried to deal with his problems on his own, but that was his worst mistake. If he would have tried to figure things out with people in the beginning, he could´ve spared the whole world a lot of trouble."

The Seventh Hokage grinned.

"Especially your mother."

The Hokage stretched a little, leaning on his outstretched arms and hands behind him. He needed someone to talk to these days to release the burdens on his heart as well, it seemed. Sarada stayed still throughout his whole speech. She didn´t feel like talking anyways.

"But I guess this is kinda a family trait, believe it. Your uncle was like that, too, and he learned far too late like your father to rely on others. They dealt with everything on their own, but for different reasons. Itachi didn´t want to bother anyone with that burden of his, and Sasuke thought no one could understand him. They were both so wrong."

Silence.

A pause.

"It … scares me…"

Naruto nodded.

"I believe that."

"It sounds so … surreal… ", Sarada paused. "I get that the Uchiha kind of … own a deep love. I only realized after yesterday why papa looks at me like … like that."

Naruto listened patiently.

"Or the way he looks at mama sometimes. She even said once to me that she believes his love is far deeper than even hers. That her feelings could never match with his. I never understood that. He sometimes … seems so cold and distant …"

"And do you know why he does that?"

It was something she has never understood. That´s why this question caught her off guard. There was a little spark of hope inside of her. A spark that promised her she was one step further in understanding her papa.

Sarada shook her head.

"Remember that … day few weeks ago", Naruto instructed. Those memories brought her only pain, but she did as she was told. It was written all over her face.

"Not quite the most pleasant memory, is it?"

She immediately shook her head, as if to clear it from the thought.

"It´s something you´d never want to experience again, right?"

Sarada stilled.

Of course.

"Sasuke went through enough loss of people who were precious to him. The closer he gets to people, the deeper the hurt and the loss becomes. He knows that. He knows that all too well."

Eyes met, and through them Sarada understood the deep brotherly bond her father shared with her idol. Knowledge was hidden in those eyes, knowledge about her father she still lacked as his daughter.

"It takes a lot to scare Sasuke. To make him feel weak and useless. His biggest fear is hidden in his childhood years, back in the days he will never forget." The Hokage´s eyes softened, in understanding, sympathy and empathy. This fear was something he shared with his best friend, even if his could never match with Sasuke´s. "He is most scared of losing his family, Sarada. Because his love for them has grown so much he knows that if anything happens to them he wouldn´t be able to handle it a second … or third time. It might be even the only thing Sasuke is scared of in this life. That´s why he has such an urgent natural drive to protect his family. To protect you."

To protect her.

´You are the only thing I did right.´

´Because you exist, Sarada.´

´Until next time.´

Lips firmly pressed against each other, teeth clenching them to one line. Tears spilled down uncontrollably, and a body curled together.

"Papa…"

She sobbed her father´s name, to call him for protection. She needed someone to shield her from the sorrow, the sadness, the grief, the mourning. Whatever the situation might have been, it was always her father who stood straightest, strongest and proudest among all.

She always asked herself how he was able to act like that.

How he was able to master in both body and mind control.

It was the loss and grief, the hot fire and hammer blows that formed the hard metal he was built of, the man he was now.

"Your dad is strong, Sarada", the Hokage soothed her. His hand lay on her shoulder, again. "He is one of the strongest. And he is still breathing. He will stand up on his own and brood for the rest of his life, like he did in the past."

A pause.

"How … can you say that for sure?"

Sarada realized in this moment, that if there was hope and dreams that were able to turn into reality, it was hidden in those blue eyes with laugh crinkles and the grin surrounded by whisker marks.

"Because he is my rival and my best friend, believe it."

The grin widened, and a mischievous sparkle stretched in Naruto´s eyes. There was a memory hidden in them, from long, long ago.

"And because we still have to fight our last battle out. Sasuke would never miss that. That jerk is way too stubborn for that, believe it."

"And also", Naruto started. The Hokage grinned so wide it was hardly possible to imagine such brightness radiating from the man. He showed her a thumbs up, and patted Sarada´s head.

"Because you and your family exist, Sarada."

He would never dare to leave them, because he knew the pain that came with it.

Gasps and tiny chuckles escaped, and the sun finally peeked at the girl from within those grey clouds. It seemed like the rain chose to delay its visit for another time.

Hope.

Believe.

Reality.

If there were people who achieved to hold onto that hope and believe and make it reality, it was her parents and the Seventh Hokage that were the evidence for it. These people overcame things human minds were too weak to contemplate. Who dared to claim that her father wasn´t able to win this battle as well?

Also, the Hokage was right. Sasuke was still not dead. He lived and breathed, and he would do a lot more, if he was given the chance.

She hoped for that. And she believed in that.

Sarada held strongly onto that dream, so that one day, it would become reality.

And if that reality was given one day, she would finally be able to confront her father about the history of their clan.

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Fin.


Beat´s Note: This was my first ever fic request on Tumblr (Sarada finds out about the massacre and seeks comfort by Naruto´s side). I had this headcanon that Sarada might talk to Naruto after knowing about the massacre and all, but would still need to figure things out with Sasuke since this is not only clan business but most important father-daughter business as well.