MacBradley (a Fullmetal Alchemist style Parody of William Shakespeare's Macbeth)
Act 3, Scenes 5 and 6
New characters featured in this chapter:
Hecate: Ran Fan, Ling's shy, yet extraordinarily loyal, bodyguard. Currently recovering from automail surgery (she lost her left arm in a battle), there may or may not be romance between herself and her young master. For the sake of this fic, let's assume that there is.
Harpier: Black Hayate. Technically Riza Hawkeye's dog. Let's just say the selection of animals from which to choose from in Fullmetal Alchemist is limited at best.
Hecate's Unnamed Familiar: Den, Winry's dog. Technically, Hecate's familiar isn't even supposed to show up in the play except for one line. However, for the sake of including Den in this… yeah.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist was (and is still being) written by Hiromu Arakawa. Macbeth is a play written by William Shakespeare. I am neither of those people.
When we last left Edward and Alphonse, they were quietly dragging an unconscious Greedling through the streets. Edward was very annoyed: firstly, he had to drag the unconscious Prince Stupid through the streets, being careful not to let him wake up or… face the consequences. Second, he had Xiao-Mei, Mei Chang's stupid weird cat-like creature (also known as a "panda", although he doesn't know that), clinging with its sharp teeth to his arm and refusing to let go. (Not that it was painful or anything – luckily, it was his right, prosthetic arm.) And thirdly, Alphonse was hardly doing any of the actual pulling of the aforementioned Prince Stupid; he was merely loosely holding onto the prince's arm and walking while focusing his full attention on cuddling Timmy, who was safely tucked up in a fold in his cloak.
Yes, Edward Elric was extraordinarily pissed right about now.
However, he attempted to grin and bear it… or at least, the second half of that statement. For the moment, he had to find the one person who could at least solve one of his problems. And that person just happened to be recovering from fairly recent automail surgery, so it was obvious that they weren't going anywhere for the time being.
Yup, Edward knew exactly where Ran Fan was bound to be – his friend Winry's house, second floor, bed closest to the door of the guest bedroom, in at least minor pain.
Grunting a rushed "hello" to Winry and Pinako as he dragged Ling along and attempted to get Alphonse to follow too, Ed walked briskly up the stairs and opened the door to the aforementioned bedroom.
(Meanwhile, backstage…
"There we go, all tuned," Envy stated as he sat his guitar on his lap.
"About time," Hughes murmured. Envy shot him a death glare, which the Brigadier General promptly returned before the palm-tree transformed into the same boy as before – blond, triangular hair with a purple splotch – and began to strum a haunting melody on the stringed instrument.)
There sat Ran Fan on the bed, looking possibly livelier than anyone could have expected really. After all, although she had undergone the surgery just two weeks ago, she was already sitting up in bed by herself. She was looking out the window while holding her mask in her hands, seemingly debating whether or not to see if it still fit after all this time.
At that precise moment, Ling just happened to wake up. He looked around, noticed where he was and who was around, pulled his hand out of Al's (although the latter didn't notice, being too caught up in paying attention to Timmy), and waved, saying "Hey, Ran Fan. Nice to see you!"
Ran Fan turned toward the sound and, upon noticing everyone, smiled. Pulling herself up from her seat, she walked over to Ling and hugged him. "Young Master! You're safe! I was so… wait a sec," Ran look at Ling's eyes for a second. Two seconds later, Edward had to drop the arm that he was still holding and cringe as automail arm met human skull – hard.
"You're not Young Master!" Ran yelled. "I want to talk to Young Master, not the one known as Greed! Let Young Master out so I can speak with him, now!"
"Fine," Greedling stated, sensing that messing with this woman would only cause more pain on his part. He closed his eyes and concentrated, allowing the Prince of Xing to have full control.
Ling opened his eyes slightly, although to the naked eye it might not appear that way; after all, his Xingish heritage made his eyes appear slit-like, after all. "Ran Fan?" he whispered before leaping on top of her and hugging her himself. "Ran Fan, I've missed you so much! It gets so lonely being cooped up with Greed in control all the time."
"I've missed you too, Young Master!" Ran Fan cried, rolling on the floor with Ling in her arms.
"…That was unexpected," Ed said, watching the scene with disgust. Al, however, was still paying no attention, so things were at least somewhat better.
Black Hayate and Den then ran out from under the bed and chased each other around the rolling couple.
Several minutes to an hour later…
Ran Fan suddenly stopped rolling, turned her head away, and coughed, vomiting a slight amount of blood.
Immediately, Ling whisked her up and placed her back in bed, saying, "Coughing up blood isn't good, Ran Fan. I had no idea you were still recovering… you need to rest."
Ran Fan shook her head. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."
Ed sighed. "Well, the next scene that we're in requires that we're here anyway, so let's just stay here and let Ran Fan get some sleep." He then proceeded to shake his arm, attempting to get the strange cat (PANDA!) to stop biting his automail. After all, if it broke a wire in there, Winry would have a fit.
"All I'm saying," Brosh stated, scarfing down another bite of the crêpe he was having, "is that this all sounds a little bit fishy. I mean, Fuhrer Russell's death, as well as the late Brigadier General Hughes (dying for the second time, mind you). The 'official' version states that Mustang and Falman hired people to killRussellin order to seize the throne for themselves. In a fit of pure grief, Bradley killed the guards too. Aye, and wisely too, for 'twould have angered any heart alive to hear the men deny 't. But enough about that. Have you heard anything about the mysterious Macduff lately, Kimbley?"
Kimbley drank a sip of his hot chocolate before stating, "I've heard he's gone off to find Mustang, Falman, and whoever else can band together in order to stop the tyranny of Fuhrer King Bradley."
"Well, let's hope he manages to find them then," Brosh stated. "Although I wonder who Macduff is, anyway. None of the reviewers have any clue yet."
"Well," Kimbley replied, "All I've heard I heard from Lieutenant Havoc, who reportedly heard it from Major Avalon, but apparently Macduff's identity's presence causes a severe plot hole in this story."
"That sounds about right," Brosh stated, paying for his crêpe and getting up. "Well, see you later, Kimbley."
"See you later," Kimbley stated, sipping his hot chocolate. If he listened closely enough, he could almost hear tiny explosions in his mouth where the liquid met his tongue. Ah, the sweet sound of explosions.
Author's Note: If you're wondering, I've never been to any cafés except for French ones, so I modeled the one that Kimbley and Brosh went to after a French café. Don't ask why I put them at a café to begin with – I just decided it sounded like a good idea. And I'm fully aware that Ling and Ran Fan are probably both way out of character.
