When I drove to the house, I didn't think about much of anything more than what was happening right now. I thought about how I could have been there for Bella, or how I was losing myself, and all because my mate wasn't here. I missed him. I missed everything about him, his hair, his smile, his jokes, I even missed that little scar that tilts his smile down and makes it perfect. I missed his touch to. I'd only experienced his passion for a night but I missed it. Jasper and I…we just fit. We were perfect together.

When I did arrive back at the house, I was thrown into chaos as I saw Jacob slam the door on Bella. I furrowed my eyebrow and opened my door. The breeze blew in and a familiar scent reached my nostrils. It was sweet candy, and the smell of the latest perfume. Alice Cullen. I practically crushed Bella's door as I jumped from her truck.

I almost turned, the pressure was there, and Bella was right behind me. Unfortunately for her, she had Jacob holding her back. I opened the door and it was dark inside, and I couldn't see as I was. I turned the light on, and looked around. As soon as I turned to my left there she was. She was wearing white, all white and I thought it was rather fitting.

"Alice?" I asked, my eyes widening. Before I could think I was turned, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Belle?" Alice squeezed me. "I'm so sorry for your lose. I tried to get here-" I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell this little magical pixie was talking about but Bella burst into the door. She stared at Alice, open mouthed for a second before tackling her.

"Alice? What are you? Why?" Bella could hardly get her words out of her mouth. Bella moved back. "I'm sorry, I just, I can't believe you're here." She said, laughing.

"Me neither." I slowly drawled. My elation was only stopped by curiosity, and suspicion. They had left, all of them had, so why would they be back? Or Alice, why would Alice come back? There was no guarantee that any of the others would be back.

"Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?" Alice cut in in her own question. It startled me and Bella. Bella was so stunned by the question that I answered for her.

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked her, moving a little in front of Alice. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was going on, and that Alice was back.

"I saw a vision of Bella, she was jumping off a cliff. I just...I couldn't even see you." Alice said, and I blinked in confusion.

"Alice-" I slowly said. "Calm down. We're both alive." I told her.

"Why in the world would you jump off a cliff?" Alice demanded of Bella. "What about Charlie? And Belle, since she's alive?" She tacked on the last one a little last minute looking down and then back at Bella with the same intensity.

"I didn't try to kill myself!" Bella interjected before Alice could name any more people that could have been hurt by Bella's death. "I was cliff jumping, it's recreational." Bella tried to explain, calming down, moving her hair out of her face. She still looked bad. Her eyes were red, and her skin pale. "It was fun." Alice stared at her, exhaling loudly in disbelief.

"Look, Bella has had a trying day, and I for one am exhausted. Let's move this into the living room." I said, going to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot, barely letting Alice out of my sight. I waited patiently for the coffee, and poured one for Bella, hurrying to bring it to her.

They were facing each other on the couch and I sat on the table, handing Bella a drink, watching her blow on it, and then drink it. She was fine; she didn't even seem to notice. She was already getting better with Alice here.

"-life prone idiocy." Alice finished. I snorted and opened my mouth but Bella glared at me. I closed my mouth and half smiled at Alice.

"It's good to have you back, Alice." I softly told her. She grinned at me, and then scowled.

"You eloped! I'm still mad at you." She huffed and turned to Bella, completely missing my flinch at the mention of it.

"Did…" Bella said after a pause. "Did you tell…him?" Bella practically whispered it. She couldn't even say his name any more. She couldn't say any of their names. I could. I didn't have a problem with it, but like I had said before, Bella had it harder than I did.

"No." Alice said, just as quiet as Bella had. "He only calls in once…every few months."

"He isn't living with you?" I asked curiously. Don't get me wrong, I was livid at just the thought of Edward Cullen, but it was still kind of weird that he didn't live with them anymore. Was it because he felt just as bad as Bella had?

"He said he wants to be alone but…I think it was more so Jasper doesn't have to deal with his pain, on top of his own." Alice watched me closely but I wasn't like Bella, I didn't show Alice how much it hurt to hear about Jasper. He couldn't be in pain; he brought this on himself, now he should deal with the consequences.

"How is Jasper?" Bella asked, also watching me. I figured that she thought I would want to know. I did want to know, but on the other hand, I didn't know if I could stand finding out that he was fine without me.

"He's…not Jasper. He mopes around a lot, when he does come out of his room. Mostly he stays inside, and doesn't come out. He won't mainstream, where we are. He just sits in his room. You can't even go into the room he was in because of how extreme emotional distress." Alice described. I met her eyes and nodded. I knew he felt bad for what he'd done, but still. I wouldn't forgive him for this for a long time. I was a vampire, and I was going to keep a grudge like one. Plus, weren't wives supposed to treat their husbands like this when they acted badly?

"Belle, what is that God-awful wet dog smell?" Alice asked, wrinkling her nose and scowling.

"Oh, I don't even notice it anymore. Sorry." I said moving back. "It's probably Bella and I." There was nothing I could do right now for it, unless Bella and I took a bath but I didn't want to let Bella or Alice out of my sight.

"It's Jacob, and the gang." Bella explained. She took off her jacket, trying to make it better for Alice. I didn't even try; I was probably covered in it from living with the shape shifters for so long.

"Jacob who?" Alice pressed, her eyes narrowing.

"Um…Jacob's kind of a werewolf." Bella slowly told Alice who looked shocked, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping. I laughed at her expression.

"Technically they are just shape shifters, but it's bad enough." I noted.

"Ugh, Bella, werewolves, shape shifters or not, are not good company to keep." Alice turned to me then. "You'd think you'd have known this." I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"I can handle some shape shifters." I told her, pulling my hair away from my face and rubbing my hands on my jeans. "Plus they're nice, friendly, if you manage to get to know them." I laughed and Bella grinned.

"Funny." Jacob said. I rose to my feet, cautiously and Alice jumped up, backing away a bit. I was shocked to see him there. I was so wrapped up in Alice that I hadn't noticed Jacob's return. "It took them long enough to get used to you." Jacob looked me up and down. I embarrassedly changed back to a human, grinning sheepishly.

"Yeah, well I helped one of them out." I shrugged, digging my hands in my pockets.

"I had to see you two were safe." Jacob struggled to tell Bella and I. I hadn't noticed that he'd even left; I was so intent on Alice. I felt bad for forgetting about him, but in all fairness I wasn't a newborn, and I wasn't human so I could handle myself, should Alice had been wishing me harm, or if it had been Victoria instead of Alice. In all fairness, Bella was probably his main concern right now.

"I thought you couldn't protect me here." Bella mentioned. Alice looked at me and I shrugged.

"Don't look at me." I muttered to her. I was so happy to have Alice back. She was so cheerful and caring. Alice, there was no way to explain Alice; she just is who she is.

"Guess I don't care." Jacob replied to Bella.

"Well, I'm not gonna hurt her." Alice told him, kind of incredulous that a wolf would walk into what Alice probably considered her best friend's house and assume that she would hurt Bella. I felt kind of sad for Alice, but she did leave me, even if it might not have been her decision.

"No, you're just a harmless Cullen." Jacob sarcastically said. "One of the vampires that brought a grown three thousand year old vampire to her knees from emotion." I jumped in.

"Jake, stop. She didn't want to leave." I told him, stepping forward. "He's talking about Victoria. She's been after Bella, and or, I for a long time. I found out recently that the wolves have been keeping her away from us." I explained to Alice, not taking my eyes off of Jacob, waiting for him to bust out in his furry outfit.

"I…didn't see her." Alice talked to herself mostly. "I didn't see Bella get pulled out of the water, either." She frowned and then her eyes widened and she turned to glare at Jacob. "I can't see past you and your pack of mutts."

"Don't get me upset…" Jacob muttered, tilting his head and cracking his neck. I intervened, getting between them.

"Hey, let's not. Let's just stop. And back it up." I said, pushing both of them apart. "Alice, why don't we…give Jacob and Bella a moment?" I asked her quietly. Alice grimaced and then sighed, linking my arm with hers. I stepped with her, to the door.

"Hey," Alice and I turned around together to look back at Bella. "You two aren't…you aren't going anywhere, right?" Bella looked between us.

"Never." I told Bella.

"We'll come back, just as soon as you let the dog out." Alice maliciously poked at Jacob. I shook my head and helped Alice outside, closing the door softly behind me, phasing as soon as I was out of the room. Together Alice and I ran to the back of the yard, without thinking too much about it. It was nice, to have someone that I could act vampire around without worrying about them getting scared, or closing up on me.

"What's happened that makes hanging out with werewolves seem like a good idea to you two?" Alice asked, fuming in her little pixie place. I grinned at her, stuffing my pockets into my jeans.

"Well, Alice, we had to make friends." I quietly said, sarcastic. "You didn't think that either of us would be happy that you left did you?" I questioned her. "We both kind of shut off. Bella was pretty bad. She didn't eat, she had nightmares about I don't even know what. She was horrible, and it wasn't getting better. Charlie and I did the best we could to keep her physically alive, but mentally it was like a void was there….all she could think about was Edward." I whispered the name, as if Bella was standing next to me in all of her glory.

"What about you?" Alice pressed. "It couldn't have been good for you. To be split from ones mate out of choice…" I looked at her, meeting the first set of golden eyes that I'd seen in what feels like forever.

"No, it wasn't." Was all I said, looking at her meaningfully. "But it was more than that, for both of us. Alice, your whole family left us. Bella and I were both prepared to become a full-fledged part of the family. It tore Bella up inside that you weren't there anymore. She sent you e-mails every day, even though it was never sent to you." My eyes wondered back to the house. Where ever they were, their shadows didn't linger in the living room any more.

Alice sighed, frustrated. I knew she'd asked about me. I didn't want to tell her. It wasn't her fault that Edward made a decision for all of the family, and made everyone go. I don't know who all it was that agreed with him, all I knew was Jasper was one of them. My own mate had wanted me to leave my sister.

"Jasper misses you." Alice told me, softly. "He doesn't know I'm here. He won't talk long enough, or listen long enough. I tried to tell him but he shut down the moment I mentioned-" I stopped her.

"I don't want to see him hurt. I love Jasper, every waking moment away from him hurts me, but it was of his own doing. He eloped with me, married me, knowing he was going to ask me to leave my sister. Had he not, I might forgive him more easily but as of right now Jasper and I are on hiatus that is so extreme they may make it into a movie. I don't know how long it could take me to forgive him for this betrayal. So please, stop trying to plead his case." I strongly, sternly told her. It was all in a rushed, almost rant. I just wanted her to stop.

It hurt me to know Jasper was hurting himself this way, but that was Jasper's way of dealing with the separation. If this is what it takes for him to realize his mistake, and for me to find a way to forgive him then that's how it's going to be done. I couldn't forgive him right away, the wound was too deep, and it had only festered over time.

Then Alice went into a vision. I was starting to get the feeling that I wasn't going to be getting any rest for the foreseeable future. Her expression and small gasps for air weren't good signs either.

"Bella!" Alice went zooming to the house, and I followed, scrambling in confusion. "Bella!" She was in the kitchen and I changed, going straight to Jacob. Whatever had just happened had him shaking and angry.

"Jacob, calm down okay. Whatever it is, it's okay." I told him, splaying my hands on his chest to create a barrier between Alice and Bella, and Jacob and I. "I need you to calm down little brother before you hurt someone." I soothed. He looked between me and Bella but he did begin to calm down. I knew what he thought I was putting on to that sentence, 'again'. He would be wrong.

"Bella, its Edward. He thinks you're dead. Rosalie told him why I came here." Alice said. I sneered. Good ridden if that bastard was gone.

"Why would you…Why didn't you let me speak to him?" Bella demanded. I pushed Jacob back, kept him calmed down.

"He didn't ask for you." Jacob said, pushing against me. I would have turned back vampire but I feared that it would only make the situation worse.

"I don't care!" Bella screamed and I turned to her but Alice had Bella covered.

"Bella! He's going to the Volturi." My breath left my lungs and I swiveled so fast that I might have been a vampire. It was Jacob's turn to see what was wrong with me. "He wants to die, too." I watched Bella's expression as it turned from stunned, to even more panic then she was before. It was horrible. Edward had hurt her so much, and she would forgive him so easily, without even thinking about it. She would forgive him; I knew that much about her at least. Bella would forgive Edward, but that was their relationship, not mine. I however, was not going to be forgiving that bastard any time soon.

Alice and Bella didn't even speak to each other they just started rushing to Alice's car. I followed them with Jacob. "Bella!" I called but Jacob caught up to her first. I stayed a little behind. I was torn. While Edward could burn in the fire of the Volturi, leaving my sister to their wrath was a hard decision. The Volturi seeing me was not a good idea. I haven't spoken to them in many years, and I don't think I want to say that seeing them now is a good thing. They were part of a past that I didn't want to remember anymore.

"He left you, Bella. He didn't want you anymore. Remember?" Jacob pleaded with Bella.

"No, I'm not gonna let him kill himself." Bella told Jacob, not even looking behind her. I wavered back and forth. I didn't want her to go, but I didn't want to tell her so. She was happy when she was with Edward, even if she was making the wrong decision. It was still her decision, and I couldn't tell her not to go.

"What about your dad? And your sister?" Jacob demanded, motioning back to me as Bella got in the car where Alice was impatiently waiting.

"I'm 18. I'm legally free to go, and I left a note for Belle and I." Bella excused. She looked at me and I didn't say anything as she got into the car.

"Please, Bella." Jacob reached into the car and I fluttered in a panic as Alice reared back, holding her breath and looking at Jacob. She wasn't happy with his delay. "Just, stay here. For Charlie…or for me." Jacob breathed. I felt bad for Alice, sitting there uncomfortably in between them but I didn't envy her.

"I have to go." Bella told Jacob, looking him straight into the eyes. I could see Jacob's heart breaking even though I couldn't see his face.

"I'm begging you." Jacob said, pausing at each word to tell her, as he removed his hand from where he had it outstretched in the car. I watched, unable to do anything that could help. Any assistance from me and it would only become worse. "Please."

"Good-bye, Jacob." Bella whispered to him, unable to look him in the eyes. Jacob slowly stumbled away from the car and towards me. "Belle, come on." So it was my turn. I slowly walked to Alice's side of the car, and glanced back at where Jacob was standing, at the edge of the house. I knew what he expected of me. He knew that I had a tight bond with Bella, and that I would protect her.

"Bella." I met her dark brown eyes and I sighed deeply. "The Volturi and I….we have a past." I whispered, looking at Alice as well who was paying attention. "You are going somewhere that I cannot, and will not go. If you go to save the man who broke your heart, then I cannot follow you." I stepped away from the car. "I am on Jacob's side in this. I would rather see Edward dead then risk lives to help him. He is nothing to me." I turned away from her and the car.

I know Alice looked shocked, and a little disgusted that I had chosen a wolf over my own sister, but that isn't how I see it. I see my ideals, and Bella's believes clashing. I wouldn't go to the Volturi, and Bella would have plenty of protection if she needed it. Edward and Alice would keep her safe; I could at least trust Alice in this.

They pealed out of the driveway, leaving Jacob and I alone. He had turned around and he was looking at me in confusion. I only shrugged my shoulders. "There is nothing for me to explain. Bella is 18 now, and I can't tell her what to do. If she wants to chase after the boyfriend that broke her heart, then let her." I told him as he walked closer.

"She is possibly going off to her death." Jacob said.

"Yes, and she chose it to be that way. Like I said, I have a history with the Volturi and my being there could have changed the scales, either in a bad way or a good way. It wasn't worth the risk." I shuffled to my house, and Jacob followed dutifully. I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed the note that Bella had written. It wasn't a very good explanation but Bella was lucky. She may have forgotten, or Jacob hadn't told her but Charlie was taking care of the Clearwater family. So was the rest of the pack.

"Don't think," I started, turning to Jacob's form. "That this means that I want her with you." I warned him. "You'd hurt her down the line, if you were to ever imprint, she'd be heartbroken again, and there would be no other person to go after her when she jumps the next time." I crumbled up Bella's note, and wrote another one, explaining that I was going to Emily's house and Bella was going to be visiting someone who came at last minute. I apologized for her, and told him to call me if he needed me.

"Let's go back to the reservation. Looks like I'm going to be sleeping in the guest room again." I said, tossing the pen away and heading back outside, with a silent and moping Jacob. I wouldn't do anything for him, because again I couldn't. I was so useless. I couldn't do anything for anyone any more. How helpful had I really been, ever since before the accident?

Jacob and I didn't talk during the car ride, and neither did we talk when we reached Emily's house. She wasn't there, and I could guess that she and Sam were at Sue's place. I didn't head up to bed, and Jacob didn't fall asleep. Instead we both sat down in one of the chairs, gathering our thoughts until sunrise.

There was nothing to do; I'd already made the decision. I just couldn't wait. I wanted to be there for her, really I do. I don't want to be there for Edward, or even Alice, though she is my friend, or my family. I don't want to be useless and unloved but she has given me no real choice. I cannot face the Volturi just to keep Edward alive, and I will not follow her.

At some point into the next day, Emily and Sam arrived, exhausted. I hadn't slept a wink, even though I was in human form. Jacob had dosed off at one or two points. Now, with Emily and Sam here he jolted awake from his third battle with sleep. My eyes were unnaturally wide; I could feel them in my head. I couldn't do anything about it though, what if Bella called and I wasn't here to answer?

"Belle, Jacob? What's going on?" Emily questioned. I stared at her, blinking.

"Alice Cullen came back." I told her, standing up, straighter than usual. "Apparently Jacob answered a call and Edward Cullen inferred that Bella was dead, from a vision that Alice had. Bella went after Edward to save his live because he was going to try and join her in death. I refused to go with Alice and Bella, as I still despise Edward Cullen." My voice was so monotone, as if the very breath I was breathing meant nothing to me.

I could see the concerned look on Emily and Sam's face.

"Are any of the other's coming back?" Sam asked me, stepping forward.

"No." Jacob answered and I turned to him. I hadn't thought of the question before.

"Actually. I figure since Edward left because he was trying to protect Bella, he's going to come back with her. He'll figure that it is no use now because she will never have the life he thinks she should have. He wanted her to have a normal one. The rest of the family will probably migrate, since…most…of the other Cullen family members left only because of Edward." Monotone, meaningless. I didn't want to break down in front of these people; they had treated me like family. I had never thought that my wolf family and what I considered my vampire family to meet but it didn't seem like a choice was really there. They would meet.

"Belle are you-" Emily started.

"I'm going to go for a run, as a vampire. So I'll leave the reservation for a while." I cut her off. I didn't want to lie to Emily; I wasn't even close to all right. I walked past Sam and Emily despite even Jacob's protests. They wouldn't want me alone, they'd want to support me but I had to face it. But not yet. I was going to go to the cliffs. That must be where Bella jumped. She had only seen us jumping there. She must have forgotten that we were all stronger than her.

When I did arrive, I barely remembered how I got there. I knew that I'd taken my car, but I don't remember cranking it, or driving it, or even climbing up to the cliff. I sat though, right on the edge of the cliff. The pack and I had such a good time here. Emily, Kim, and I had blended so well, and we had fun. It wasn't fun anymore. I wasn't having fun. I had this insane feeling that everything was only going to get worse from here, like it was going to intensify.

Harry's death was just the marker for something worse to come to us. Or was the return of the Cullen's going to be what turned the tides? It didn't matter. I wasn't worried about that. My future wasn't what concerned me right now. What concerned me was how I was going to deal with seeing Jasper again.

I was angry with him, I loved him, and he was my very soul, and my soul breaker. He had hurt me dearly, but I couldn't stay angry forever. I was still angry, to the point that it hurt. I was also hurting from being away from him, being out of his touch. Just the reminder of our elopement, and how special it had been, even though it had now been marred, the memory was precious. It warmed my insides, and my heart beat just a little, tiny bit harder just thinking of him. Jasper was my everything. He had taken my heart, and dented it but he had not broken it, and dents could be mended.

With the right tools. And Jasper's only tool would be time, and the right situation. So far Jasper had been pushed back, almost forgotten but never truly leaving. He was my radiance, my love, my phoenix. No matter how many times my love for him 'died', it would come again through the ashes. Jasper could never kill my love for him, only hurt it. Jasper, he was my Texan Major.

I missed him, and loathed him.

Jasper…I love him.

For two more days I sat there on that cliff, through the rain…and the storms. I could hear the wolves out there, even Paul. They wouldn't tell Charlie that I was missing though, because they knew that would only cause more problems for me.

It was on the third day, around the turn of night, that my cellphone broke me out of my very own mind. It simply told me that Bella had come back, and the Cullen family was with her, Edward was safe. She knew I didn't care that Edward was safe, but she knew that I would want to know that Jasper was here, in the same vicinity. I was on Quileute land, so they couldn't come on to it without express permission. Unlike me I don't think they would be allowed on the lands. I could stay here, and avoid the vampires. Or I could drop into the ocean like I've wanted to for so long.

The call to my mate was too strong. Just knowing that I have the chance to be around him again was nice, comforting, and enticing. It was so thrilling, and it pained me to know that I was refusing myself sight of him when he was only a few miles from me.

I rose from my spot on the cliff and looked behind me. There was a silver wolf. It was no telling how long he had been there, Paul. He was a good man, but he wasn't my man. He could be my wolf, for now, but I didn't want a small relationship that could end at the drop of a hat. I wanted someone who could love me throughout my existence. Eventually Paul would imprint, probably, and then where would I be?

I wanted Jasper, but I would stay angry with him for a bit longer, simply because he deserved to know how much he'd hurt me, not only with asking to leave Bella. Marrying me with such treachery in mind was a mistake.

Paul lifted his silver head, and shook the rain from it. I hadn't seen him here, even though he was right against me. I realized that I was still in human form, and that he was the only reason that I had been warm. Without Paul I would have been too cold to stay in human form, and would have gone on another rampage. I needed to see Jasper again, only to make my mind behave more. Without lying, I could not say that I didn't look forward to it, but I didn't not either.

At the very least I was ready to see my family again, and to make sure that Bella is safe.

I know that most people won't like that she didn't go with Bella. Bu I can honestly say that I know my character well. I consider her to be her own person almost, me. I wouldn't have been stupid if I had been in Belle's situation. She and I both wouldn't have gone to the Volturi, and especially not for Edward.

Anyways. It's only in the beginning stages but someone that I really like is thinking of doing Breaking Dawn for my story, and I hope she does. I've written a kind of extra where it shows what happens after the end of Eclipse but it would be nice for her to do it. I like her writing but it's only in the beginning stages.

So. Almost finished with this story and almost onto the Eclipse version!