The Cat and the Skylark
Chapter 11
During homeroom, while Kyoya was paying attention, I wrote on a note 'To Everyone But Hibari Kyoya,' and scribbled down my plan.
'Today, at lunch, I want to be alone with Kyoya. Those who show up on the roof get on my bad side. And no one wants my bad side.'
This was it. I was going to claim those delicate, yet sharp lips as my own, and Kyoya couldn't stop me. I was ready- so ready to take that precious kiss. I wouldn't dare try this with Amu, but... he wasn't her. I'd been fantasizing about that moment since he told me everything was all right. I wanted to be his forever. I wanted to be with Kyoya... even if he chained me down, I wouldn't care. That was how positive I was that I loved him.
I told everyone to pass my message on to everyone in their next to classes, successfully getting everyone in the school to know.
At lunch...
"Ikuto," he began, "I realize that you're a supposed 'cat,' but do you like small animals?"
"Hmm... define small animals," I answered.
"Like... birds, rodents... hedgehogs," he said. I mused about the irony of him mentioning hedgehogs, since I was stabbed by one earlier.
"Well," I began, "Yoru likes to chase mice- which is awfully cliche, but I guess I don't really mind them. Hedgehogs are cute. Why?"
"Just wondering," Kyoya answered. I took notice of someone coming out on the roof, and I sighed, throwing a potato chip in their direction. I nodded towards Kyoya to prove a point, and they turned and left.
"Heh," I snickered. "Want something done, do it yourself..."
"What was that all about?" Kyoya questioned. I shuffled a little, my cheeks darkening.
"I passed a note around the school to tell everyone to leave us alone on the roof," I eventually answered. Kyoya raised his eyebrows it what seemed to be approval.
He repeated, "Everyone?"
"The entire homeroom class all passed it on to their second period classes," I explained, "and then all of those people told their third period classes. That's how."
Kyoya took a moment to nod, then said, "Thank you."
"... Actually," I started, Kyoya, I had a reason for doing this."
"Mm, I don't mind," he answered. "I'm just glad that you were making sure that there weren't any crowds..."
I could almost feel my blush darkening as I sighed, "Kyoya, my reason..."
He glanced up at me, and grunted out, "Hn?" I leaned in to him, and at last claimed what was so rightfully mine.
His lips were soft, and so much gentler than one might've expected, but for me, they were perfect. Unable to take his gaze, I closed my eyes, and just went along with this precious moment. If he should accept it, we could be more than friends. If he should reject it... well... I'd hate to see what he did to me afterwards. If a man such as myself and a man such as he should not be together, though, I'm sure something would've interfered in my bold attempt to show my afffection.
It was a while in when I finally decided that I wanted deeper. I shyly slipped my tongue from my mouth, and combed it over Hibari's lips. Naturally, he refused to let me past his teeth, so I reached up, and softly brushed my hand against his cheek. How a man could be so cold, yet so delightfully warm, was one of the most amazing things I ever knew. That man, that ravenous, destructive man. He with the repulsive attitude, unfeeling heart, and empty soul, he who I was now taking claim of.
He who was Hibari Kyoya.
Two hands were placed on my shoulders, and my heart fluttered, but all for naught. He pushed me back, and I reopened my eyes. He stammered, his face flushed, "Ikuto... that... that's not... you shouldn't be... I... just..." He struggled to catch his breath after I'd assaulted his lips. I felt like a fool, seeing now his face, and the emotions written across it.
Rejection.
Confusion.
Repulsion.
Anger.
My heart sank lower than it had when Amu chose Tadase over myself. I felt as though I'd dragged myself into another false predicament... I felt disgusting. Like... a pervert. Hey, everyone had called me one. By then, who was to say it wasn't true? After all of that... "I'm sorry, Kyoya," I murmured, my eyes filling with sorrow and blurring my vision. "I... needed to."
"You love that Amu girl," Hibari spat. "Don't try to weave yourself into me, too." I looked up at him, stunned. Was I still sweet on Amu? No, no, no! I was a man who could take rejection... to an extent.
"Kyoya...," I began. "Amu turned me down a long... long time ago, and she's Tadase's girlfriend.
"I'm not someone you can just use for comfort and throw away, Ikuto," Hibari snarled. "You better go to a doctor and make sure your head's on properly. Look at me, Ikuto. I'm a man."
"I know that," I protested. "I've always known that."
"No," Hibari denied. "The first time you saw me, I was a girl to you. I suppose that image got stuck in your perverted feline mind, hm?" I looked down, ashamed. I didn't- I knew I hadn't thought that way. Still, it made me burn with humiliation, and self-loathing. I wanted this... yet... I've wanted a lot of things, and very rarely do they turn up pleasant.
"Kyoya, please, listen," I whimpered. "This morning... I was so angry. I was so upset with you... and then... what you said to me back there..." Yes, that had thrown me over the edge.
Everything was going to be all right.
Hibari stood upright, his face still burning with rage. "This is what you cleared the roof for?" he muttered. "So you could kiss me."
"Kyoya, you're just...," I began, but unable to finish, 'such a sweet man at heart.'
"What? I'm just what?" Kyoya shouted. "You've crossed the line, Ikuto. I don't want to love. I don't need to love. I don't want anything to do with someone who loves me. So you better get it all in order, because I'm not gay, and I don't love you." I felt my heart shatter in my chest, and as Kyoya strutted down from the roof, I reached up, and wiped at my eyes sadly.
He didn't want to love. He didn't want to love me.
He didn't need love. He didn't need to love me.
He didn't want anything to do with someone who loves him. He didn't want anything to do with me.
'Get it all in order,' because I must've been insane to think about him like that.
Because he was not gay.
And he didn't love me.
-End Chapter
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