Chapter 11
A/N: Yay! 'Order of the Phoenix' is finally here! If you're reading this, you've probably already finished reading 'OotP, because I doubt many people are able to tore themselves from it before they've finished. Anyway, sorry it took so long to get a chapter out again, but I've been away to Lanzarote (one of the Canary islands) for a week, and got back two days ago, so I didn't get anything done during that whole week. I'll do my best to get the next chapter out sooner than this one, but it will be hard, since I'm going to the USA tomorrow (Friday, 27th June), and don't know how much computer access I'll get. I'll have a lot of time to think it over on the flight, though, but sadly I can't write on the plane, because I don't have a laptop. Before you start reading, I feel that I need to warn you that the quality of this chapter isn't very high, since I'm in a hurry to get it out before I leave early tomorrow morning. I hope it's good enough, though.
Spotlight on:
Jack Kelly's Lady- Hey Jessie! Thanks! =0) I'm actually glad you almost cried, when you read about Cho hiding her true feelings, because then it means (at least I hope so) I described it in a believable way. That's what it depends on when I read something and get tears in my eyes. LOL I can't wait to see you either! =0) About the ball; I'll try to speed things up a bit so it won't take years for me to get there. ;0)
Serenella- LOL You used verbs, but that's okay, because they correspond to good adjectives. ;0) Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying reading my story. =0)
J.L. McD- Gasps Okay, here's the chapter. Niiice reviewer. Don't tickle! LOL So you think I actually succeeded with writing a cliffhanger?
Angelgirl1- Thank you!
Mandy- You mean besides being nasty and discriminating towards Muggle- borns? Nothing, I think.
Skye- Yup, 'Order of the Phoenix' is finally here! =0) LOL I bet you're reading that book 24seven now. By the way, happy late birthday! Also, you need to get a move on with 'Now That You're Back', because I want to know what's going to happen with that necklace! =0)
Katina Wellson- You deserve good reviews- no one can write about sad things the way you can! =0)
Cho took a deep breath and then whispered hardly hearable.
"It's my fault that Cedric died."
There, now she had said it. Now it was too late to take it back, but she didn't want to. She desperately wanted to tell someone, since she hoped that some of the guilt she felt would go away then.
"No, you mustn't blame yourself, Cho," Hermione said worriedly. "What happened is no one's fault -okay, Voldemort's- but absolutely not yours and not Harry's either. You know, he actually thought you blamed him for it."
Cho looked surprised.
"Harry?" "No, no. Why would I blame him?"
"Harry talked him into touching the cup at the same time," Hermione said. "He feels guilty, since if he hadn't done that, Cedric would still be alive."
"Then please tell Harry that I've never ever thought of it that away, will you?" Cho said. "It WAS my fault Cedric died, and I'm going to tell you why, because I've kept it for myself for so long and now I want someone to know what really happened."
She paused a bit before she continued.
"If it hadn't been for me, Cedric would never have participated in the Triwizard Tournament. We were never boyfriend and girlfriend, as everyone probably thinks, and I never liked him in THAT way as he liked me. We met during spring in my fourth year. I had sneaked out early in the morning to practice some flying, and he had done the same thing. We somehow started off talking about Quidditch, of course, and I was a bit reserved towards him, since I felt it wasn't good if I got too acquainted with the Hufflepuff seeker. Roger had taught me that one could never give 100% against a close friend. Cedric turned out to be really nice, though, and it was impossible for me to continue being so reserved. After that encounter, we started greeting each other in the corridors and do some small talk."
Cho paused to look at Hermione.
"Am I boring you?" she asked.
"Not at all, go on," Hermione encouraged her.
"Okay, so I'm slow when it comes to things like that, and it wasn't until the end of my fourth year, that I realized he liked me," Cho continued. "I didn't know what to do, so I started avoiding him, and felt so bad about it, because I saw the hurt in his eyes when I turned away quickly in the corridors. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I stopped avoiding him, but started being reserved towards him instead. I managed not to run into him at the Quidditch World Cup, since there were so many people there. I desperately needed advice, because at the same time as I didn't want to encourage his feelings, I didn't want to hurt him. That made me do the stupid thing of telling Roger about it, at the World Cup. Roger was very happy about it, and said: 'Great! Now we'll win over Hufflepuff easily- Cedric will never be able to play at his best towards you!' I got mad at Roger, since that was all he could think about. I mean, I love him to death; his like a brother to me and a great captain, but he just doesn't seem to be able to see things through another perspective than Quidditch. I told him that, and he said that at least he wasn't worse than Oliver Wood, whom had told Harry to knock me off my broom. Anyway, when school started again I hoped that he had forgotten about me. Unfortunately, he hadn't and for lack of something better, I kept being reserved towards Cedric. When it was announced about the Triwizard Tournament, he asked me if I would be happy if he won. I said 'of course', since I would be happy if anyone of my friends won. He looked seriously at me and said 'then I'm going to do it', but I didn't think much of it then, because he was a top student, and would probably do fine. Then, when it was time for the Yule ball, he asked me to go with him, and I accepted, since he was the first on who asked. I would've have done that no matter who had asked me, because I hate to turn people down and disappoint them. I felt awful when Harry asked me and I had to turn him down. Anyway, when I was taken as Cedric's hostage, I fully realized that I had to mean a lot to him. It was extremely awkward, because I never asked for it, and felt guilty for not reciprocating what he felt."
Cho couldn't refrain herself any longer and burst out crying. Luckily enough, there weren't any other people than her and Hermione left in the library now. Hermione handed her a tissue.
"I'm sorry for being such a cry-baby," Cho excused herself, "but it's just..." "The way Cedric's parents treated me at the funeral. They hugged me as they were crying, and thanked me for making their son happy during the last time in his life. I don't know what he had told them, but they said that he had told them a lot about me, and that they were happy their son had met me. They had been looking forward to meeting me, and thought it was a shame it had to be during such sad circumstances. Gosh! I had such guilty conscience, since they thanked me for making their son happy, when it was only because of me that he died! I regret every day, that I didn't force myself to pretend reciprocating his feelings, so he would never have felt the need to prove his worth to me, by competing. I mean what was I thinking? I could've taught myself to like him, eventually, and he would still have been alive. Whatever I might have had to sacrifice, to do that, couldn't have been worse than the grief I've caused so many people."
Poor Cho, Hermione thought. I knew she had suffered a loss of a friend or a boyfriend, but I never thought she would blame herself so much for Cedric's death.
"No, Cho, no," Hermione said. "Don't blame yourself, it was NOT your fault." "Cedric might have competed anyway."
"But if I just had made myself..." Cho said.
"You can't force yourself to feel things, you don't," Hermione said. "If you had done that, your relationship might not have worked out anyway, since it would have been built on false grounds. If Cedric had still been alive, he would've had realized, sooner or later, that you two weren't meant for each other. It can never become a lasting relationship if only one part loves, but it takes two. Also, you never asked or forced him to participate in the tournament, but it was a choice he made by himself."
Cho wiped her eyes and was silent for a while, looking down in her lap.
"Yeah, you're right," she finally admitted. "Has anyone ever told you how wise you are?"
Hermione smiled slightly.
"No, it's not wisdom, it's just the way it is. Now, on to something else, are you going to the ball?"
Cho shook her head.
"No, but I wish I was."
"Why not?"" Hermione asked.
"I don't think I'll be able to handle the others' looks, whisperings and comments, if I would show up at it," Cho said. "Also, it would remind me too much about Cedric."
"Well, you said that you wanted to move on, didn't you?" Hermione said. "You can't move on if you don't stop adjusting to other people, and don't keep going as usual and doing all the stuff you want to do. You want to go to the ball and so you should. I have an idea. There's no rule about Professors and students not being allowed to go together. How about if I fix so you can go with Oliver? I doubt the others will have guts to say something nasty to you if he's around."
"I don't know," Cho said. "If I do that, I'll just be labeled as 'Teachers' Pet'."
"If they say that, it's just because they're jealous, and you know that," Hermione said.
Cho smiled slightly.
"Yeah, he DOES look good."
"See!" Hermione said gladly. "I made you smile a little! All right, then it's settled, you're going."
"But I didn't bring any dress robe, and I don't have time to go to Hogsmeade to buy one tomorrow," Cho said.
Hermione only hesitated for a second.
"Take mine," she said. "I know a spell that can make it shorter."
Cho really needed to do something fun after all she had gone through, and Hermione was determined to do what it took to get Cho to go to the ball, even if it meant that she herself couldn't go.
"No, no," Cho protested. "I can't do that."
"Sure, you can," Hermione insisted. "I don't really have time to go anyway. I will have to stay up all night, after it, finishing schoolwork if I go, since it's on a school day. It will do you good if you go, and I will have a good night's sleep and be rested the morning after."
"But still, I can't," Cho said. "I would just feel bad, and it isn't my friends, but yours."
Hermione gave a laugh.
"Trust me, my friends will not notice if I'm there or not. All they'll care about is enjoying themselves as much as possible, which is exactly what I think you should do. Okay, if you're not going, I'm not going either. It's a shame, actually, that my Muggle dress won't be used. It's beautiful and you would look lovely wearing it. Ever seen the movie 'Gone With the Wind'?"
Cho nodded.
"Uh huh."
"Good, then you know how wonderful Scarlett's barbecue dress looks, which my dress is an exact replica of," Hermione said.
"Wow!" Cho exclaimed. "You HAVE TO wear it at the ball!"
Hermione didn't budge.
"No, I won't. Either you will or nobody will. Please Cho, don't feel bad about it, just do it for me, will you? If you don't, I will feel awful about not being able to help you, because you sure deserve to have some fun after going through all that."
Cho thought for a while.
"Okay," she finally said. "I'm going, but only because I don't want you to feel awful."
"Good girl," Hermione teased her and smiled.
Cho hugged her.
"Thanks, thanks so incredibly much for everything. You're so kind and even though I haven't known you for long, you've been so sweet to me. You really are a good and reliable friend."
Yep, that's me in a nutshell, Hermione thought, and thought about Oliver having said the same things.
"No problem," Hermione said. "Hey, what are friends for? Look, I have to go now, but I won't go to Hogsmeade tomorrow either, so I'll catch you at breakfast, and you can try the dress on, okay?"
"Okay," Cho answered and let out a choking sound. "Good night."
"Are you sure?" Hermione said. "I can stay a bit longer."
Cho smiled through her tears.
"Go on, I'll be fine."
Hermione went quickly to Oliver's office and hoped that he hadn't left yet, since it was a bit late. She knocked on the door to Oliver's office.
"Come in!" she heard him say.
"Hey," she said when she had entered. "I have some good news for you."
"That was a nice surprise," he said and smiled.
She took a deep breath.
"You're going with Cho to the ball."
Oliver stood up from his chair.
"What?! Not that I'm complaining, but how did you do that?"
"Um, let's just say that she wasn't planning on going, and therefore turned all the ones who asked her down, and after talking her into going I suggested she'd go with you," Hermione said.
"You truly are amazing," Oliver said happily, his eyes sparkling.
He looked just like he had done in her third year, when she had put a spell on Harry's glasses, during the Quidditch final, so they would dry themselves, she remembered.
"There, there, no need to exaggerate," she tried to calm him down.
Oliver grabbed her shoulders and shook his head.
"I'm not, you're special."
"Everyone is unique," she started, but was interrupted by him.
"I love you," he said.
And then he kissed her.
A/N: I'm in suspense! How do you think this chapter was? Since I didn't have much time to proof read this thoroughly, I will probably go back and make slight changes. Feel free to suggest things I can change to make it better.
A/N: Yay! 'Order of the Phoenix' is finally here! If you're reading this, you've probably already finished reading 'OotP, because I doubt many people are able to tore themselves from it before they've finished. Anyway, sorry it took so long to get a chapter out again, but I've been away to Lanzarote (one of the Canary islands) for a week, and got back two days ago, so I didn't get anything done during that whole week. I'll do my best to get the next chapter out sooner than this one, but it will be hard, since I'm going to the USA tomorrow (Friday, 27th June), and don't know how much computer access I'll get. I'll have a lot of time to think it over on the flight, though, but sadly I can't write on the plane, because I don't have a laptop. Before you start reading, I feel that I need to warn you that the quality of this chapter isn't very high, since I'm in a hurry to get it out before I leave early tomorrow morning. I hope it's good enough, though.
Spotlight on:
Jack Kelly's Lady- Hey Jessie! Thanks! =0) I'm actually glad you almost cried, when you read about Cho hiding her true feelings, because then it means (at least I hope so) I described it in a believable way. That's what it depends on when I read something and get tears in my eyes. LOL I can't wait to see you either! =0) About the ball; I'll try to speed things up a bit so it won't take years for me to get there. ;0)
Serenella- LOL You used verbs, but that's okay, because they correspond to good adjectives. ;0) Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying reading my story. =0)
J.L. McD- Gasps Okay, here's the chapter. Niiice reviewer. Don't tickle! LOL So you think I actually succeeded with writing a cliffhanger?
Angelgirl1- Thank you!
Mandy- You mean besides being nasty and discriminating towards Muggle- borns? Nothing, I think.
Skye- Yup, 'Order of the Phoenix' is finally here! =0) LOL I bet you're reading that book 24seven now. By the way, happy late birthday! Also, you need to get a move on with 'Now That You're Back', because I want to know what's going to happen with that necklace! =0)
Katina Wellson- You deserve good reviews- no one can write about sad things the way you can! =0)
Cho took a deep breath and then whispered hardly hearable.
"It's my fault that Cedric died."
There, now she had said it. Now it was too late to take it back, but she didn't want to. She desperately wanted to tell someone, since she hoped that some of the guilt she felt would go away then.
"No, you mustn't blame yourself, Cho," Hermione said worriedly. "What happened is no one's fault -okay, Voldemort's- but absolutely not yours and not Harry's either. You know, he actually thought you blamed him for it."
Cho looked surprised.
"Harry?" "No, no. Why would I blame him?"
"Harry talked him into touching the cup at the same time," Hermione said. "He feels guilty, since if he hadn't done that, Cedric would still be alive."
"Then please tell Harry that I've never ever thought of it that away, will you?" Cho said. "It WAS my fault Cedric died, and I'm going to tell you why, because I've kept it for myself for so long and now I want someone to know what really happened."
She paused a bit before she continued.
"If it hadn't been for me, Cedric would never have participated in the Triwizard Tournament. We were never boyfriend and girlfriend, as everyone probably thinks, and I never liked him in THAT way as he liked me. We met during spring in my fourth year. I had sneaked out early in the morning to practice some flying, and he had done the same thing. We somehow started off talking about Quidditch, of course, and I was a bit reserved towards him, since I felt it wasn't good if I got too acquainted with the Hufflepuff seeker. Roger had taught me that one could never give 100% against a close friend. Cedric turned out to be really nice, though, and it was impossible for me to continue being so reserved. After that encounter, we started greeting each other in the corridors and do some small talk."
Cho paused to look at Hermione.
"Am I boring you?" she asked.
"Not at all, go on," Hermione encouraged her.
"Okay, so I'm slow when it comes to things like that, and it wasn't until the end of my fourth year, that I realized he liked me," Cho continued. "I didn't know what to do, so I started avoiding him, and felt so bad about it, because I saw the hurt in his eyes when I turned away quickly in the corridors. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I stopped avoiding him, but started being reserved towards him instead. I managed not to run into him at the Quidditch World Cup, since there were so many people there. I desperately needed advice, because at the same time as I didn't want to encourage his feelings, I didn't want to hurt him. That made me do the stupid thing of telling Roger about it, at the World Cup. Roger was very happy about it, and said: 'Great! Now we'll win over Hufflepuff easily- Cedric will never be able to play at his best towards you!' I got mad at Roger, since that was all he could think about. I mean, I love him to death; his like a brother to me and a great captain, but he just doesn't seem to be able to see things through another perspective than Quidditch. I told him that, and he said that at least he wasn't worse than Oliver Wood, whom had told Harry to knock me off my broom. Anyway, when school started again I hoped that he had forgotten about me. Unfortunately, he hadn't and for lack of something better, I kept being reserved towards Cedric. When it was announced about the Triwizard Tournament, he asked me if I would be happy if he won. I said 'of course', since I would be happy if anyone of my friends won. He looked seriously at me and said 'then I'm going to do it', but I didn't think much of it then, because he was a top student, and would probably do fine. Then, when it was time for the Yule ball, he asked me to go with him, and I accepted, since he was the first on who asked. I would've have done that no matter who had asked me, because I hate to turn people down and disappoint them. I felt awful when Harry asked me and I had to turn him down. Anyway, when I was taken as Cedric's hostage, I fully realized that I had to mean a lot to him. It was extremely awkward, because I never asked for it, and felt guilty for not reciprocating what he felt."
Cho couldn't refrain herself any longer and burst out crying. Luckily enough, there weren't any other people than her and Hermione left in the library now. Hermione handed her a tissue.
"I'm sorry for being such a cry-baby," Cho excused herself, "but it's just..." "The way Cedric's parents treated me at the funeral. They hugged me as they were crying, and thanked me for making their son happy during the last time in his life. I don't know what he had told them, but they said that he had told them a lot about me, and that they were happy their son had met me. They had been looking forward to meeting me, and thought it was a shame it had to be during such sad circumstances. Gosh! I had such guilty conscience, since they thanked me for making their son happy, when it was only because of me that he died! I regret every day, that I didn't force myself to pretend reciprocating his feelings, so he would never have felt the need to prove his worth to me, by competing. I mean what was I thinking? I could've taught myself to like him, eventually, and he would still have been alive. Whatever I might have had to sacrifice, to do that, couldn't have been worse than the grief I've caused so many people."
Poor Cho, Hermione thought. I knew she had suffered a loss of a friend or a boyfriend, but I never thought she would blame herself so much for Cedric's death.
"No, Cho, no," Hermione said. "Don't blame yourself, it was NOT your fault." "Cedric might have competed anyway."
"But if I just had made myself..." Cho said.
"You can't force yourself to feel things, you don't," Hermione said. "If you had done that, your relationship might not have worked out anyway, since it would have been built on false grounds. If Cedric had still been alive, he would've had realized, sooner or later, that you two weren't meant for each other. It can never become a lasting relationship if only one part loves, but it takes two. Also, you never asked or forced him to participate in the tournament, but it was a choice he made by himself."
Cho wiped her eyes and was silent for a while, looking down in her lap.
"Yeah, you're right," she finally admitted. "Has anyone ever told you how wise you are?"
Hermione smiled slightly.
"No, it's not wisdom, it's just the way it is. Now, on to something else, are you going to the ball?"
Cho shook her head.
"No, but I wish I was."
"Why not?"" Hermione asked.
"I don't think I'll be able to handle the others' looks, whisperings and comments, if I would show up at it," Cho said. "Also, it would remind me too much about Cedric."
"Well, you said that you wanted to move on, didn't you?" Hermione said. "You can't move on if you don't stop adjusting to other people, and don't keep going as usual and doing all the stuff you want to do. You want to go to the ball and so you should. I have an idea. There's no rule about Professors and students not being allowed to go together. How about if I fix so you can go with Oliver? I doubt the others will have guts to say something nasty to you if he's around."
"I don't know," Cho said. "If I do that, I'll just be labeled as 'Teachers' Pet'."
"If they say that, it's just because they're jealous, and you know that," Hermione said.
Cho smiled slightly.
"Yeah, he DOES look good."
"See!" Hermione said gladly. "I made you smile a little! All right, then it's settled, you're going."
"But I didn't bring any dress robe, and I don't have time to go to Hogsmeade to buy one tomorrow," Cho said.
Hermione only hesitated for a second.
"Take mine," she said. "I know a spell that can make it shorter."
Cho really needed to do something fun after all she had gone through, and Hermione was determined to do what it took to get Cho to go to the ball, even if it meant that she herself couldn't go.
"No, no," Cho protested. "I can't do that."
"Sure, you can," Hermione insisted. "I don't really have time to go anyway. I will have to stay up all night, after it, finishing schoolwork if I go, since it's on a school day. It will do you good if you go, and I will have a good night's sleep and be rested the morning after."
"But still, I can't," Cho said. "I would just feel bad, and it isn't my friends, but yours."
Hermione gave a laugh.
"Trust me, my friends will not notice if I'm there or not. All they'll care about is enjoying themselves as much as possible, which is exactly what I think you should do. Okay, if you're not going, I'm not going either. It's a shame, actually, that my Muggle dress won't be used. It's beautiful and you would look lovely wearing it. Ever seen the movie 'Gone With the Wind'?"
Cho nodded.
"Uh huh."
"Good, then you know how wonderful Scarlett's barbecue dress looks, which my dress is an exact replica of," Hermione said.
"Wow!" Cho exclaimed. "You HAVE TO wear it at the ball!"
Hermione didn't budge.
"No, I won't. Either you will or nobody will. Please Cho, don't feel bad about it, just do it for me, will you? If you don't, I will feel awful about not being able to help you, because you sure deserve to have some fun after going through all that."
Cho thought for a while.
"Okay," she finally said. "I'm going, but only because I don't want you to feel awful."
"Good girl," Hermione teased her and smiled.
Cho hugged her.
"Thanks, thanks so incredibly much for everything. You're so kind and even though I haven't known you for long, you've been so sweet to me. You really are a good and reliable friend."
Yep, that's me in a nutshell, Hermione thought, and thought about Oliver having said the same things.
"No problem," Hermione said. "Hey, what are friends for? Look, I have to go now, but I won't go to Hogsmeade tomorrow either, so I'll catch you at breakfast, and you can try the dress on, okay?"
"Okay," Cho answered and let out a choking sound. "Good night."
"Are you sure?" Hermione said. "I can stay a bit longer."
Cho smiled through her tears.
"Go on, I'll be fine."
Hermione went quickly to Oliver's office and hoped that he hadn't left yet, since it was a bit late. She knocked on the door to Oliver's office.
"Come in!" she heard him say.
"Hey," she said when she had entered. "I have some good news for you."
"That was a nice surprise," he said and smiled.
She took a deep breath.
"You're going with Cho to the ball."
Oliver stood up from his chair.
"What?! Not that I'm complaining, but how did you do that?"
"Um, let's just say that she wasn't planning on going, and therefore turned all the ones who asked her down, and after talking her into going I suggested she'd go with you," Hermione said.
"You truly are amazing," Oliver said happily, his eyes sparkling.
He looked just like he had done in her third year, when she had put a spell on Harry's glasses, during the Quidditch final, so they would dry themselves, she remembered.
"There, there, no need to exaggerate," she tried to calm him down.
Oliver grabbed her shoulders and shook his head.
"I'm not, you're special."
"Everyone is unique," she started, but was interrupted by him.
"I love you," he said.
And then he kissed her.
A/N: I'm in suspense! How do you think this chapter was? Since I didn't have much time to proof read this thoroughly, I will probably go back and make slight changes. Feel free to suggest things I can change to make it better.
