Stockholm Syndrome BPOV Chapter 11 – Undisclosed Desires

Previously:

Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose appeared in the front yard and Edward began screaming at Jasper.

"Control her! Do it Jasper! She's going to hurt herself! Do it now!" Edward growled out as I felt the pull of Jasper's black unconsciousness begin to wrap itself around me.

I fought against it but he sent more to me, even walking up to me and placing his hand on my head. Once he touched me, it was like I was injected with tranquilizers, I couldn't fight it.

The last thing I heard before succumbing to the darkness was Carlisle speaking the words, "We have to move."

I woke up at one point in time and didn't recognize the surroundings. In fact, it was hard to even pick out any of the surroundings because Edward was driving so fast. I wondered where we were going and had to find some way to see where I was. Alice handed me some food and a bottle of water that she had in the car and I was grateful. The water gave me the idea I needed and I started whining about having to go to the bathroom. I hoped that they would let me use an actual bathroom but NO! I was forced to squat in the woods like a flea infested dog. I just hoped I hadn't squatted over poison ivy.

After the embarrassing display in the woods I sat in the back seat, fuming and ready to die. I knew that they had all heard me peeing, something that should be for my ears only. I decided that if I had to pee again, I was doing it in the car, on the nice upholstered seats. That would teach them to let me use an actual toilet. Once it started to get dark I found myself being knocked out by Jasper once again. When I awoke, Edward was on my bed.

"Bella," Edward said then laughed slightly. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "Bella, I'm sorry, sorry for everything. I never intended you to live past our first meeting. But now, now that I've realized what you mean to me, I'm glad I didn't kill you. I'm sorry that I'm the reason you're here and you can't leave. But, I assure you, if you let me in, let me show you how it could be; you'd really want to stay. You just have to let me in Bella, let me l…lo…care for you."

Was he trying to say that he loved me? What was he thinking?

"I'm such a masochist but you are my life now. The pain I endure to be near you is unbearable but I know that I could never hurt you again. It would literally kill me to hurt you. But I can't let you go either, that would kill me more. Just let me in Bella, please. Let me show you what you mean to me. Let me show you the life I could give you, will give you. Anything you desire is yours. Please Bella. I…I…"

"You what?" I asked, curious to know what he was struggling with.

Edward turned to me, his expression one of shock, and then shook his head. "Nothing, it was nothing."

"No Edward, what were you going to say?" I demanded to know as I sat up in the bed. Edward stood up and moved away from me towards the door.

"I said it was nothing," he stated as he walked out of the room.

"That's right, walk away, you're good at not facing what you've done," I spat at him as I stood up and slammed the door shut.

I turned around to walk back to the bed and the door flew open. Edward stalked towards me and I backed against the wall. His body was suddenly an inch from mine, his hands pinning my arms to the wall.

"You think I don't want to face this? That I don't regret what I did? Well I do! I regret hurting you, taking you from your father, your friends, your life. I regret the pain and anguish your scent puts me through. I regret what I am and who I've become all because of some little human girl. I regret it all Bella."

I froze, pinned between his arms, my face turned up towards him, panting heavily. Something about him scared me yet excited me at that moment. Edward was gazing into my eyes with his deep butterscotch ones and I noticed them visibly darken as he drew in a deep breath through his nose. I felt something flutter in my stomach as he looked at me like he was going to devour me, but in a good way.

So slowly I wasn't even sure he was moving at first, Edward lowered his head and then I gasped when his cool lips pressed against mine, softly at first, then harder and needier after a moment. I fought against his mouth, not sure if I actually wanted this and he broke his lips from mine only to move them to my ear.

"I know you want me, I can smell it," Edward growled in my ear, making me shiver with anticipation and desire.

He moved his mouth to my jaw then my neck, kissing, licking, and sucking his way down and back up. I moaned lightly, enjoying his touch more than I was willing to admit. He released my arms and I brought them instinctively up his arms to his shoulders before reaching around and grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck.

Edward groaned and shifted his body into mine…I felt its hardness, all of it was hard. Feeling his arousal made something wake up inside of me and I felt a heat surge through my body. Edward took in a few quick, deep breaths and then his hands were on me, searching my body.

I tried to kiss his neck back but was distracted by his hands, moving lower and lower down my body. Edward's thumb hooked in the waistband of my jeans and his fingers began to descend down the length of my zipper, making me pant with desire, want, and need. Just before his fingertips reached my pleasure zone the bedroom was occupied.

"Oh…OH!" Alice almost screamed and we both froze.

"I tried to tell you," Jasper said as he began to pull Alice from the room.

But it was too late and I was too embarrassed. Edward was still pressed up against me and I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed. He got the idea and moved. I ran from the room, past Alice and Jasper, and down the hall. I heard Jasper telling Edward to let me go and Alice confirming I wasn't going far.

I ran down the hall and turned when I saw I could. I found the living and dining rooms and the kitchen. Beyond the kitchen were elaborate French doors. I ran through them and skidded to a stop right before I went head first into an indoor pool.

When I regained my balance I took in the room. It was completely enclosed in glass sheets fitted into metal frames. I could see everything around me. What mesmerized me the most was the brilliant shades of green dancing across the still surface of the pool. I looked up and gasped as I took in the Northern Lights, the Aurora Borealis.

I settled myself down onto a chaise lounge beside the pool and looked up, taking in the celadon, emerald, jade, moss, and Persian greens that made dancing ribbons across the night sky. It was truly breathtaking. I made myself look away from the lights after a bit and took in my surroundings outside. There was a light dusting of snow across the foliage.

What day was it? I couldn't actually remember but it had to be near Christmas but I wasn't exactly sure. Wouldn't they have told me if Thanksgiving had passed? I couldn't remember how long I had been with the Cullens, held captive. All I knew was that it was September 20th when I was taken, I had lost track of the number of days they had kept me locked up.

I looked around again and then took in the quiet of the house. I didn't know if they were all still in there but I really didn't care at the moment. I was trying to keep myself from thinking about what had just transpired between Edward and I but I kept coming back to it. Why did I let him kiss me? And how could I have enjoyed it?

Well, I enjoyed it because it was hot and he is incredibly attractive if he keeps his mouth shut. However, when he had it opened against my skin I wasn't complaining. But why did I let him kiss me? The answer to that was that his demeanor just before had aroused me like I hadn't known was possible. Was I attracted to bad boys or just one bad boy in particular? It disgusted me, though, that I was aroused by him given the fact that he had tried to kill me. No, no! I couldn't be attracted to him, I couldn't! It was unnatural…but so were his unearthly good looks.

"DAMMIT!" I screamed out loud.

"What? I was just coming to see if you were ok," a voice sounded from behind me, making me scream out with fright.

It was just Alice. She smiled at me softly but just stood there.

"I'm fine. Have a seat?" I asked with the fucking politeness and manners that Charlie and Renee had instilled in me since birth. Sometimes they were such an inconvenience.

"Thanks!" the devilish pixie said as she bounced over to the chair beside me and stretched out on it like she was a supermodel.

Alice's beauty and body made me feel insignificant sitting there beside her and I pulled my knees to my chest to hide as much of my body as I could. Alice didn't seem to notice because she just started talking.

"So, you and Edward huh?" she asked, her voice laced with genuine interest.

"NO! There is nothing between him and me," I defended myself. I wanted to get the conversation off of me quickly so I asked one question I wanted to know. "What day is it?"

"December 20th," Alice replied.

"WHAT?" I yelled out. Three months! I'd been held captive by demented vampires for three months! Oh god! Charlie must think I'm dead by now! And my mom…I couldn't bear to think about it.

"If I could let you go home I would Bella. I hope you know that," Alice said softly.

I didn't reply. What could I say to that? Instead, I chose to ignore her and, a moment later when I looked over to where Alice had been sitting, she was gone.

I tried to get lost in the light show again but the moment of serenity had passed and now my mind was filled with thoughts of my dad, my mom, and, unfortunately, Edward.

I got up and wandered back into the house, suddenly desiring something to eat. I found the fridge well stocked, somehow, and settled for a cold cut sandwich and a glass of milk. After cleaning up my meal mess I headed back towards my room, hoping I found the right one. It was actually quite easy to find, seeing as how the door was the only one open and my bag of clothes was sitting on the bed.

I threw the bag on the floor, curled up in bed, and turned the light off. I tried to have a dreamless sleep but was assaulted by Edward showcasing in every one.

One dream was particularly vivid. I had been laying out by the pool in a bikini that I didn't own. One moment I was alone and the next, Edward was climbing out of the pool, his soaking wet swim trunks clinging to every inch of his body. He sauntered over and leaned over my body, dripping water all over me. I gasped at the sensation of the droplets falling sporadically on me. He leaned down, pressing his hard body against mine, letting me feel every inch of him.

I moaned as I felt his length press against my thigh, but my moan was swallowed by his mouth on mine. His frigid tongue broke through the barrier of my lips and danced in time with mine as his hands began to wind around my neck and into my hair.

I woke up gasping for breath, trying to fight the surge of arousal that had flooded my body. There was no way I could go back to sleep after the dream so I decided to get up. A shower sounded good so I grabbed the toiletries bag that was on top of my bag and headed for the bathroom that was at the end of the hall. I opened the door and froze. Directly in front of me, in the glass shower, was a naked Edward Cullen. He turned towards me, greeting me with his massive erection, and smiled alluringly at me.

"Hi Bella," he purred at me. "Like what you see?"

I was about to answer when I sat straight up in bed, realizing that it had been yet another dream.

"Fuck, he's going to be the death of me," I murmured to myself then rolled over and fell back asleep.

I awoke later that day and decided it was time to get up. I checked the bathroom by listening through the door before entering the empty room. My dreams had me a bit on edge. I cleaned up and then wandered into the common area to find something to eat. Esme was already in place in the kitchen preparing me something. She set a plate of grilled chicken, potatoes, and mixed vegetables in front of me and I had to admit that it looked and smelled great.

I wondered when everyone else had arrived but decided to keep my mouth busy with the plate of deliciousness in front of me.

I had just finished my plate and Esme cleared it for me, washing it quickly before putting it away, when I heard a strange voice behind me.

I spun around and was greeted by a beautiful, strawberry blonde vampire with yellow eyes. She smiled in a sickly sweet way at me and extended her hand in a greeting. I refused it, not knowing who she was and her brow furrowed at my refusal.

"Well, I can see that Edward was right about you. You must be Bella and I can see that everything Edward told me about you was correct. I guess I can say 'pleased to meet you,'" the new vampire sneered at me. I don't know why, but I felt a twinge of jealousy at her speaking about Edward and about Edward talking to her about me.

"The pleasure is definitely not mine," I shot back and went to head back to my room.

Before I made it out of the living room I heard an unfamiliar, yet familiar laughter sound out and I spun around. Edward stood there, his arms wrapped around the new vampy bitch, laughing as she kissed his neck. My blood suddenly surged through me, boiling with an intensity I had never felt before. I hurried out of the living room and locked myself in my room. However, I continued to hear the disgusting conversation of him and her, which made me jealous beyond belief.