XI
Selfish Traps
Rebecca had been sitting with Isabella for over two hours. Locked away and isolated from the rest of the castle, they sat talking with one another. One might have looked upon this scene as old friends reuniting after a long separation, but there was something wrong. Something twisted just beneath the surface. Isabella asked far too many questions and gave none of her own answers to anything asked of her. She smiled and it was as cold as ice and as inviting as a demon's. Rebecca had to blink to assure herself that she was sitting with the same Isabella. She could have been the image of her mother, save for the sharper lines etched about her face. Rebecca could not find the reason for her uneasiness, but it writhed within her all the same.
"How you can still be in service to my brother I do not understand." Isabella sighed, almost with a laugh.
"Sometimes not even I understand it, my lady." Rebecca said.
"He should have given you leave to go years ago." Isabella insisted.
"Oh? And where would I have gone, my lady?" Rebecca did laugh honestly at that.
Isabella shrugged and sat back upon her chair, "To wherever it was you wanted to disappear to. You could have gone anywhere you wanted; had all the freedom in the world...."
"An' been the loneliest, most miserable woman ya ever met!" Rebecca countered, sensing that Isabella was rambling on in her mind.
"You left us once before and didn't look back." Isabella said dropping her casual tone. Her eyes narrowed at the woman before her as she brought up an old and childish grudge. "Why you stay now I can only guess at."
"What?" Rebecca was genuinely confused and concerned over the sudden turn of temperament. "My lady, I never left ya...what are ya saying?"
"When my brother and I were forced from our home and made to live like dogs on the streets you left us." This was no mere turn in conversation. A cloud was passing over Isabella's mind and the sudden switch to raving anger startled Rebecca. "You went to Locksley rather than brave our fate." She laughed and it was a dangerous sound, "And all this time I thought we were like family, Becca. All those little promises of friendship and protection, only to turn and run from them when it would be too hard to keep them."
"My lady!" Rebecca exclaimed, wanting nothing more than to stop this tirade of madness Isabella was raining down. This was not like her. "I don't know what ya were told about that day, but none of this is true!"
"Are you insisting that I and my brother are liars now?" It was worse, Isabella was enjoying this cat and mouse game. She rose from her seat and began to pace before Rebecca. This conversation was rapidly becoming an interrogation. Had Guy known that she would do this to her? He could not have, of all the things Rebecca could think of Guy she could not believe he would purposefully place her in danger.
"Your brother?" Rebecca repeated, "How would he know?"
Isabella was stopped at this question. "When he came back for you, obviously."
"What...?" This was too much. Guy had never come back for her after he left Gisborne. She would have seen him! She would have known!
Isabella seemed to realize she had shocked Rebecca with this bit of news. "Oh, this is rich." She laughed in short sporadic giggles, "You don't know! Guy went back for you. I asked him to bring you with us."
"No..." Rebecca was paling. She staggered to her feet, hands over her head as she tried to find a way to escape from this.
"He told me he couldn't find you. That you wouldn't be coming with us! That you went to Locksley!" Isabella taunted.
"No, stop! Stop it! Why are ya doing this, my lady? Why?" Rebecca whirled on her, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Why did you leave me?!" It was suddenly about her again, and for a fleeting instant Rebecca could see the scared little girl who was always terrified of being left alone.
Rebecca didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to think about that day, conjuring up these memories was as acutely painful as sticking knives into her heart. "I was taken...t' Locksley..." She tried to breath steadily, if she cried she would never be able to speak the truth and she hated how Isabella had nurtured this false spite towards her for all these years. "I was beaten an' dragged t' Locksley. At night I was tied t' my bed to make sure I wouldn't run after ya. I did not know your brother came back for me....if I did...I--never would I have left ya so, my lady."
There was a charged silence in the room as the two women stared each other down. "Are ya satisfied, my lady." Rebecca said, "I've never betrayed ya. Ever."
"Yes...yes I can see that." And Isabella was gone again inside her head. If only Rebecca could catch a glimpse of what was going on in that mind of hers. Isabella made her way back to her chair and she sat down upon it again with a light thump. She was no longer looking at Rebecca, she was staring at the empty wall before her, her eyes glazed over in thought.
"My lady?" Rebecca croaked, "My lady, please look at me. It hurts that ya thought so ill o' me all this time..."
"I will admit I did my best to learn to hate you, Becca." Isabella did not seem sorry over this fact. She reached out for Rebecca to draw over to her. She took her hand holding with a sweetness that startled the servant even more than the anger had. "Perhaps we could mend that?"
"I'd like that, my lady." Rebecca tried to smile. Maybe this uneasiness was all in her mind. Why would Isabella ever seek to do her harm? Better to mend whatever was broken while she was given the chance. It was more than what Guy had ever given her. "I'd like that very much..."
***
At the request of Prince John, Isabella was due to ride out with the rest of the company to Locksley. She did not like this in the least, the Prince was as mad as a badger and she was almost positive there would be unnecessary bloodshed today. She felt a pang of sympathy towards the villagers. They would not know that such a tempest was heading their way. All they had done was look after themselves. They stood up for what was right. She could admire courage like that. She would need courage like theirs when her time came. She concealed a crooked smile as she looked over at her sullen faced brother; oh, her time would be coming soon. She could feel it.
She rode alongside Guy, who stared over at her in surprise as she pulled up beside him. He turned away from her, having no desire to speak to her now. There was too much that needed to be said and no means to say everything with. It was better to leave well enough alone. Why did she have to return into his life now? Was it just his imagination, or was she taking some pleasure in his discomfort?
"I had a very interesting talk with Rebecca this morning." She said almost cheerily.
"Did you?" He asked, although not interested in the gossip of women.
"Yes...will you not ask me what it was about?" She goaded.
"Isabella, I could care less about whatever you and my servant discussed." Guy sighed.
"Oh, I think you'd care about this a great deal." Isabella chuckled.
"Get on with it, then as you are so hell bound to tell me regardless." Guy kept his eyes on the road ahead of him as his sister's voice dropped to a whisper so that only he could hear her words.
"We were discussing the events which took place after the fire." Her voice was like poison and the acid dripped from her tongue with such clarity Guy felt them brand into his brain as images of that horrific day flooded into his mind. It was always so. Every day was battle to block his past from his existence. If he did not, he was certain he would drown. Isabella took his stoney silence as answer enough that he know of what she was alluding to. She went on with secret relish at the pain this was causing him, "Did you never wonder what became of Becca?"
No he did not. No he would not. He had never asked her and Rebecca had never mentioned that day. "She was there...the whole time. When you went back for her, she was there."
"No." Guy said abruptly, "I told you I did not see her."
"She hid. She was frightened of all that had happened and disgusted by what you had done! When Robin asked her to go to Locksley with him she told me she practically leapt at the chance." Isabella had to fight to conceal her mounting joy at the grave confusion this was causing Guy. "I find it odd how you never suspected that she would have become rather attached to Robin while he was lord of Locksley and forgotten all about Gisborne, and you."
Guy glared daggers at his sister, "Do you forget who you are talking about, Isabella? This is the woman who coddled you when you cried yourself to sleep every night."
Isabella flushed scarlet at the jibe, "That was then." She hissed, "I thought to give you fair warning, brother of mine, Rebecca was Robin's servant just as much as she was yours. What is to say she is not still under his service?"
"You think Rebecca is a spy for Robin Hood?" He would have laughed if he hadn't begun to feel quite ill, "She's too foolish to be of use as a spy and she's too loyal to have the stomach for it."
"How sweet," Isabella smiled, "you still care for her."
"I care nothing for Rebecca." Guy fumed, doing his best to keep his voice low and his temper under control, "She merely deserves more respect than assumptions and unproven accusations. She's earned that much." He realized he was echoing the same sentiment that Rebecca had told to him just yesterday. It was already too late; however, Isabella had successfully planted a seed of doubt in his mind, and whether or not he was ready to admit that her words could have any validity, his mind was already concocting possible evidences of a betrayal.
He sped up his horse and rode to get away from his sister's side, not wanting her to see the painful confusion he was in. Isabella smiled to herself as she lagged behind only a pace or two. "If it is proof you want, brother, then it is proof I shall get." she whispered to herself. She was going to tear him apart; steal everything that was his, or anything that he cared for. Anyone who sought to stop her would be destroyed as well. It was a shame that Rebecca had been placed in between her plans, she would have liked to have her on her side. Perhaps it wasn't too late to try and sway her. This was going to be fun.
Winter, 1173
"Untie me!" Rebecca screamed as she struggled with the rope binding her to her cot. The tight fibers were wrapped about her arms, waist, and legs. She was completely immobile, but she continued to flop and flail about as she tried to loosen the bonds. This was the third night she had been trussed up in this manner. She had hoped that her mother and Thornton would have stopped this torturous imprisonment, but she had had the bad sense to try and escape the previous afternoon. Under constant watch by the other servants she had gotten as far as the end of Locksley Village before she had been dragged back, screaming and sobbing all the way.
Gemma sat beside her daughter, tightening the knots around the bed, a pained expression upon her face. "Let me go." Rebecca said again, breathing raggedly, "Mum, please...please let me go."
"I can't do that, my girl." Gemma said soothingly, trying to brush a few loose strands of dark hair out of her daughter's eyes.
"Yes ya can." Rebecca said feverishly, "Untie the ropes an' let me go."
Gemma merely shook her head at her daughter, the betrayal in her daughter's eyes too much to bear. There was a lifetime's worth of heartache there, too much for a mere child to have etched into her face. Rebecca stopped struggle for a moment and stared up at the roof of the servant's quarters. She hated the shape of the roof. She hated the size of the long house which served as the servant's living area. She hated the way the door slanted to one side. She hated where the table was positioned. She hated that this wasn't her cot and because of that it felt uncomfortable. She hated that this was Locksley and not Gisborne. She hated she couldn't go home anymore.
"They're out there, ya know." Rebecca finally said, her head lolling one side to glare at her mother. "Probably lost in the woods. Scared an' starving an' alone." She saw her mother wince at her words, "Ya helped raise 'em. Ya knew 'em since they were just babies."
"Oh, Becca--"
"How could ya do it, Mum? How could ya have just stood there and let 'em leave? How could ya not have fought for 'em?! How could you not have let me go to 'em?!" Rebecca struggled.
"What would ya have had me do, Becca?" Gemma shouted, "Loose my only daughter? My only child? You've been so lost in your own hurts ya never considered anyone else's. I lost a friend too that day. Ghislaine was my closest friend an' Isabella an' Guy were like a son an' daughter t' me. Don't ya lie there an' mock me, my girl! Think that I don't see those children in my dreams at night? I do, an' Becca if it had been in my power t' save 'em I would have. But I couldn't! We're servants! We have no freedom o' our own."
"That's not good enough!" Rebecca spat.
"It is the way o' the world, Becca an' ya had best get used to it!" Gemma shouted.
"I won't" Came Rebecca's obstinate response.
Gemme sighed, laying a hand upon her daughter's own. She flinched, but the ropes kept her from jerking her hand away. "I know Guy was your best friend, Becca, I know how--"
"I loved him!" Rebecca's shout was squeezed out from between her gritted teeth as she stared up at her mother.
"You're a child!" Gemma retorted, "You don't know what love is." She didn't doubt that her daughter loved Guy, but a future with him was impossible and it would be better for her to forget him. It would be better for them both.
"Don't say that, Mum." Rebecca said softly, "I do know."
"What, an' have ya given yourself t' him?" Gemma said, "Have ya thrown away any chance o' a decent life for yourself over that boy?"
Rebecca went silent and turned away from her mother. Gemma paled, "Oh, Becca, oh no...ya did not!"
"I'm nearly eighteen years old, mum." Rebecca said quietly, talking towards the wall, "Surely ya realized by now, at least, that I was not meant for marriage?"
"Don't talk so foolishly!" Gemma hissed, "Why, Becca? Why would ya ruin your one chance at a free an' decent life for yourself?"
"I ruined nothing." Rebecca said, "I loved Guy."
"An' did he love ya as much as ya did him?" Gemma accused.
"I'm sure that he did--"
"Did he tell ya? Did he say that he loved ya?!"
"No..." She could see from the mounting rage growing across her mother's face that this was a most unsatisfactory answer, "but I never told him either!"
"Such fools, the both o' ya...such blinded fools..." Gemma shook her head.
"Mum, let me go..." Rebecca said, "If I was t' have been married I would 'ave gone far an' away from ya. Why is this different?"
"Because it is not safe! You will be wandering lost an' what if ya never find them?" Gemma wailed, "What then? Am I to not matter t' ya? I need ya too, my darling girl. I need ya!"
"Mum, please!" Tears were falling from her eyes, "I love ya, I do, ya know it. An' if ya loved me as much ya would let me go!"
Gemma inhaled deeply, closing her eyes, "It is just an infatuation ya had."
"Mum!"
"That is all!" She opened her eyes new resolve shining in them, "It will pass. We will start a new life for ourselves here. In time, things will get better."
"It will not pass." Rebecca wailed broken-heartedly, "It will not!"
"Try to sleep tonight, my girl. If ya do maybe tomorrow we can see about releasing the ropes." Gemma said as if the very strength of her soul was leaving her. She bent to kiss the forehead of her daughter, but Rebecca turned her head away from her. She sighed as she straightened, "Ya will thank me for this one day, Becca."
Rebecca had nothing more to say to her mother. The room went dark before her as the candle was blow out. In the darkness she struggled in her bonds, feeling the rope cut into her soft skin. On her legs she could feel droplets of blood drip down from raw cuts she had torn open with her flailing. Exhausted, she gave up, crying softly. Locksley was her prison cell. No matter what her mother said she would not forget what had been done to her. She would never thank her from depriving her of the only freedom she would ever have and she would never forgive her for this betrayal.
A/N: I said the past was going to crop up to interfere with present situations. This is one case in many.
Also, that being said, I hope you don't judge Gemma too harshly from this flashback. Review and let me know what you think! :)
