A/N: When both of my ongoing solo stories get updated in less than two weeks, it's a pretty good couple of weeks! I always apologize to you guys, but I write in spurts, I don't really have much consistency, especially not these days when I wake up at 6.15am and by 10pm I'm ready to call it a night. So much for being young and full of life! I hope you can be patient with me anyway. I promise that this story and IWBY will be finished, no matter how long it takes - and there's a long time before that happens!

Onto a happier topic, Mistaken For Strangers is a pretty good tune. One of the The National songs that drew me in right away. Listen to it, if you have a chance, as usual!

Enjoy the chapter now!


Chapter 11 - Mistaken For Strangers


Derek sighs in relief when he spots an on-call room at the end of the aisle. His day has felt endless, and fighting with Meredith surely hasn't helped matters. Yes, maybe he had been wrong to snap at her, but it's been a day.

She was distracted during the entire duration of the surgery, almost in a daze. When he called her on it, she had the courage to say she was perfectly aware of everything, even if she wasn't able to answer his questions in the first place.

Now he just wants to find Meredith and apologize, but that can wait until morning, so that they have the chance cool off. He had been wrong in snapping so easily, but she frustrates him, and during surgery he cannot be frustrated. Tomorrow he'll find her and they can clear up the air, like they have done for the past few months.

They can never be okay and easy-going as before around one another, not since he knew about her sons. He cannot feel comfortable around her anymore, because every time he looks at her, he's reminded of Ethan and Logan, and the anger at himself doubles.

He's trying to control himself, but he's been failing miserably at it. Maybe in a few more weeks he'll be able to look at Meredith and not feel like he has let her slip through his fingers.

He pulls down the handle of the on call room, scanning the room in semi-darkness, hoping for a free bed. He really, really needs to rest and calm down.

A whimper reaches his ears, and he freezes, unsure if he should switch on the light to see what's going on or leave. He opts for his first choice, switching on the small bedside lamp beside the lower bunk.

His heart squeezes when he sees Meredith curled up in fetal position on the bed, her eyes wide and bloodshot.

"Meredith," he murmurs, closing the door of the on-call room.

"Leave." Meredith whimpers, shaking her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Are you okay?"

"Please, leave," she echoes, curling up even further into herself, a quiet moan escaping her lips.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm so tired. Please." Meredith can barely open her eyes, and he sees a tear crawl down her cheek. "Please, let's fight tomorrow."

"Oh, Meredith, I don't want to fight anymore. I wanted to find you to apologize."

Meredith whimpers again. "Please."

"I can't leave you like this."

"Get out!" She snaps, though Derek is pretty sure she doesn't mean it.

"Look, I'm not going to bother you anymore but, can I stay here tonight?" Derek braces himself for a firm no, but Meredith only shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut. "This is the first on call room I found with an empty bed."

"It's almost always empty," Meredith says, her voice barely louder than a murmur.

"Can I stay?" He repeats. "Over there." He points with his finger at the bed across the room instead of the top bunk of hers.

"Over there?"

"Over there." He nods seriously, feeling his body already relax at the mere idea of falling into bed.

"Okay," she whispers, and Derek sighs in relief.

"Thank you so much. I owe you one."

Meredith shakes her head, curling up into a ball again, hiding from him in the darkness.

Gratefully, Derek slips off his shoes and climbs under the sheets, sighing in relief when his back hits the mattress and the room slips into darkness. Yes, the sight of a bunk mattress is no starry night like he can see at the trailer, but this is better than what he hoped for.

This way he can talk to Meredith and apologize first thing in the morning.

Except, the whimpering coming from Meredith is quite distracting.

"Meredith –"

"Don't, Derek. Please don't." Her sharp but shaky tone contrasts deeply with the fragility of her whole being.

"I just…" He sighs, biting his tongue. "What happened?"

"I'm so tired, Derek. I've been in surgery for ten hours straight after the one we had this morning and I can't feel my legs now. Leave me alone."

"Oh, Mere," he murmurs, perfectly understanding her predicament. It's been one of those days for her too, apparently.

"Don't. I don't need your pity." Her voice is strangely strong, even if he knows her body is in shambles.

"I'm not pitying you," he replies quietly, unsure if it will upset her more. "Do you need the number of my favorite masseuse?"

Meredith snorts, and he's glad he at least made her relax for a moment.

"I can't go home like this, even if home means my awesome bed. Only, my awesome bed implies dealing with my kids too, and I can't. I'm the worst mother ever. And I left them with Ellis. Ellis!"

"Oh, Meredith, you're not a bad mother, I promise." He smiles. Of course she'll doubt herself. She always did. But it makes him relax the idea that she feels comfortable enough with him to actually admit her weakness. "You're not just a mom, you're a person too. Logan and Ethan will understand."

"It doesn't make this any easier."

"I'm sure it doesn't."

They fall back into silence, interrupted every once in awhile by a rustle of sheets and a groan. He can't help but smile at how stubborn she is in refusing help.

"Look," she begins, surprising him, "you've been a surgeon for a while. Any ideas on how to feel human again after spending ten hours on your feet?"

Derek chuckles. "A massage or stretching and my bed, usually. Sometimes a double scotch on the rocks."

"Crap."

"Hey, you might not have your bed here or alcohol, but I can figure out a massage." Derek can see Meredith's eyes widening at his suggestion, but he doesn't regret being this bold.

Silence stretches heavily, and he's pretty sure Meredith is ignoring his statement altogether after all. Until she replies with a whispered: "Okay."

"What?"

"You can...massage." She stammers, looking and sounding adorable. He can't believe how he managed to stay apart from her for so long and never seek her out just to see her adorableness.

Derek switches on the bedside light and sits quietly at her feet, in the portion of bed left free. When he touches her calf, Meredith shivers at the contact. He feels a shiver run down his spine too, to be honest.

At first, he politely massages her calf from over the blankets, moving down to her ankle and her feet, smiling when Meredith's body slackens.

"Can I lift the blanket to work on your soles?"

Meredith simply sticks out her feet, and he can't help the chuckle escaping his lips as he props Meredith's feet on his thigh and massages the arch of her feet and her talons, her nerves and tendons, up to the point that she moans in bliss.

It's hard to keep himself in check, because he's enjoying being there for her a bit more than a friend should. In his heart though, he knows he's more than a friend.

"Derek?"

"Hmm?" He hums in reply, eager to answer more of her demands.

"Can you...my back?" She sighs, looking vulnerable. "I'm not getting out of these blankets, though."

Derek chortles. "That might be complicated."

"Unless you get in, too." Her soft, grateful smile makes him weak in his knees.

Meredith scoots to make room for him behind her, and he slips between her and the wall as he presses his hands to her shoulders, then starts massaging his way down her back.

Silence stretches peacefully, and he loves listening to her breathe.

"Logan will need a heart transplant soon." Her voice slices the peaceful atmosphere, cutting right to his core. He stops the massage, taken aback.

"Meredith…"

"He was born with an hypoplastic left heart and it's finally catching up with him."

"I never would have guessed."

"He's been feeling pretty okay lately. He even started swimming and he has wanted to play basketball with Ethan since forever, but now…" She exhales loudly. "I just feel like a failure. Like it's my fault he was born defective. I feel guilty all the time, that's why I should not have the privilege of 'me' time."

"You're an amazing mother, Meredith. Even if you need a night by yourself once in awhile. And technically, the kids' dad is half responsible for the bad heart; it doesn't all fall on your shoulders."

Unexpectedly, Meredith turns around to face him and buries her face in his chest, clinging to his scrub top for dear life as he keeps running his hands down her back soothingly.

Her legs tangle with his, and a sob escapes her lips.

"I can't do this alone. I can't be alone waiting for his new heart, Derek."

"Shhh," he murmurs, holding her a bit tighter as she clutches him. "You'll figure it out. And you won't be alone."

"There's no one else, Derek. It's just me and the boys."

"Meredith, you have your mother. Even if she can be evil, she loves your kids. And Richard, too. Your friends love them. And you have me."

He knows he deserves the look he receives from Meredith, but he's not backing out.

"We are a mess, and we cannot stay in a room without fighting, but I remember we used to be good friends. You can come to me if you need to. You can ask me to sit with Logan and Ethan if you need a night for yourself, or if you need to take Logan to an appointment and you need somebody to stay with Ethan, I can be your man. Just...ask."

Her eyes fill with tears even more. "Derek –"

"I know, I know. Forget our history. I know you don't have time for this, I just want to be there for you like I was in Europe. I just want to be your friend."

"Okay," she says, her voice cracking.

"Okay." His smile is wide.

"Thank you."

"Of course, Meredith." He squeezes her just a little bit tighter, not knowing how he'll be able to untangle from her to go to sleep.

She resolves the issue by pulling him even more tightly under the covers and snuggling with him, falling asleep a few minutes after.

Derek lets the exhaustion claim his body too, knowing he'll get the best night's rest of the past eight years.

That night he dreams about an Intercity train headed to the Milan airport; about Meredith's and his body tangled together, holding onto each other for dear life.


A/N: Well, I guess there are still some unresolved feelings here, uh? What do you think, guys? What will happen next? Sorry for the lack of Logan and Ethan, but I needed some Meredith and Derek time. They'll show up soon, don't despair!