(A/N) Again; I'm trying to squeeze in as much chapters as possible before school starts, so please excuse me if this seems a little rushed. I've decided to start putting Jason's POV in here every once in a while. I had not intended to make it so that the Shadow's Song forcibly took Jason over, but the idea was cool so just roll with me. Though the beginning of this chapter will not be in Jason's POV, expect it to happen more often. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. At all.
Chapter Ten: Giving up
Percy POV
I had passed out on Festus' back after the long day of finding the acacia. I was dog tired and Leo had promise Piper and I that we wouldn't fall off if we crashed. I had protested; Leo needed a guard to help him just in case monsters attacked, but he'd insisted. Besides; if I was tired I wouldn't be able to fight my best in the morning. I'd almost wished I hadn't fallen asleep; demigod dreams were usually horrible and torturous, but this one was even more so.
I was in a huge building…or at least I thought I was. Hallways twisted and turned in every direction and doors were set at five-foot intervals. Where was I? A hotel of some sort? All of a sudden a man materialized next to me. He was wearing a black suit and it was more than likely that he was in his forties.
He looked like an assassin of some sort, straight from the movies. His eyes were black as night, shining with an evil and somehow…crazy light. Not good. He also had a cleanly shaved head and his baldness complimented the fact that he looked like a freaking hitman. He adjusted his tie, a sly and creepy smile on his face; the smile of someone who was keeping a secret. He didn't seem to notice me, then again nobody usually did; this was a dream. Then the impossible happened.
The man morphed and changed, becoming shorter and more muscular. His suit was replaced by a Camp Jupiter T-shirt and torn jeans and messy blonde hair sprouted from his head. He seemed at least twenty-three years younger and his black eyes turned ice blue. Not-Jason smoothed back his hair and brushed himself off, looking smug. Who was this guy? And why did he look like Jason? The man walked down one of the hallways. The only thing left to do was follow him. I drifted behind him in my invisible, weightless form. He took rights and lefts through the zigzagging maze of hallways that were all painted a bland white color. The sound of his footsteps echoing on the white tile filled the entire building; for not another noise could be heard.
How big is this building? I thought incredulously. And how come we're the only ones in it? It's too huge to be any building I've ever heard of. Is it obscured by the Mist; a godly house of some sort? No. This guy wasn't a god; he didn't have an aura of power, but he did radiate pure evil and…was that craziness? Who the hell was this guy? The god of insanity? Not-Jason stopped in front of an iron door. It was made entirely out of metal and screamed prison. Was this a mental asylum? And if so, where were all the other patients? Cold air wafted from under the door and made me shiver, but not from the cold; this was a dream and I couldn't feel cold. It was from the reek of malice and horror. This was trouble, but I followed Not-Jason down anyway.
The door had hidden a spiraling cobblestone staircase with walls and ceiling to match. The cold feeling became even more intense as we walked downward for what seemed like forever. Not-Jason was smiling wickedly to himself, like someone who understood an inside joke that their friend made. I didn't like the looks of that sort of crooked smile. It screamed insanity. Finally we came to a door. It was iron like the other door, but instead of giving of terror and fear, it gave off a sort of sadness; like someone who was suffering. Uh-oh. I had a feeling where this was going, and it wasn't good.
Not-Jason took out some keys and began to fiddle with them, taking his time. He tested several keys, but none of them unlocked the door. Finally he inserted a black key made of Stygian Iron, much like the key that opened Festus' secret compartment, and the door opened with a subtle click. Not-Jason threw the door open, evidently wanting to make his presence clear. That's when I realized that the two of us weren't the only ones in the 'building.' There was someone else. That's when I saw him. Shackled to the wall in thick chains, looking beaten, bruised and bloody, was Jason.
He was shirtless and had no socks on, his skin chalky and pale from the cold. He was limp and his wrists and ankles were bloody, probably from struggling against the chains. He was looking straight ahead; his eyes, once bright and lively, were a dull blue. He was gagged, but that didn't muffle his shaky and shallow breathing. You could see every one of his ribs and he just looked so miserable I wanted to run over and hug him, but my feet were anchored in place.
Not-Jason strode over to him leisurely, boasting the fact that he was well-fed and hadn't a worry in the world. Jason looked up and a tear trickled down his cheek. He turned away as Not-Jason came face-to-face with him, more tears finding their way down his face. His captor removed the gag, revealing chapped, thin lips and the little scar that I'd gotten used to seeing. Jason tried to shy away from him, causing the chains to rattle. What happened to him?
The Jason I knew would be thrashing and writhing, screaming for vengeance and spouting curses at this doppelganger. This Jason was silent and he was still limp in his chains, not even bothering to struggle. His eyes were filled with such hopelessness and depression and they just looked…lifeless, as if something had sucked all of the joy out of him. At first I was afraid that he was dead and the sound of shallow breathing was just the wind, but Jason's shifting and blinking suggested otherwise.
"Shadow." Jason managed to choke, his voice hoarse. Not-Jason, or should I say Shadow, chuckled; a hollow, petty sound that reminded me all too much of the Jason that was back at Camp Half-Blood, going more crazy by the second. Was this place really where Jason was? Was the insane Jason back home not the actual Jason? The real Jason was undoubtedly being held hostage by Shadow, but why wasn't he fighting to escape? All of these questions rattled in my head as Shadow stalked over to Jason, still smiling like a maniac.
"How rude of you. No hi's or hello's? Just a bland 'Shadow'? Really now; we live in the same body; you can at least act like you're happy to see me. Then again I took everything away from you." Shadow cackled. What the hell was going on? What did Shadow mean by 'living in the same body'?
Then it dawned on me. Jason wasn't actually okay; he wasn't a hostage off somewhere. He was kept prisoner in his own head. Shadow was the insane, aggressive Jason back at Camp Half-Blood; he…or should I say it…was the manifestation of the Shadow's Song. The real Jason, the heroic, optimistic Jason was trapped; the Shadow's Song had taken over. But why would Jason go down without a fight? Did he even try to fight for his body?
Jason looked away and shifted uncomfortably as Shadow touched his face lightly and gently, with just its fingertips.
"Losing your dignity, eh Grace?" Shadow sneered, its hand still on Jason's face.
"Well I am naked in front of a possible mental asylum patient." was the quiet reply. I was astonished of how broken Jason's voice sounded. What had Shadow done to him? Shadow's face contorted in rage and it backhanded Jason across the face. Jason whimpered but didn't even try to fight back, his cheek turning an ugly purple color. Shadow smiled its wicked smile.
"Aw, Jason. I know you love me." He mocked and kissed, he actually kissed, Jason on the cheek that was bruised, causing my friend to yelp.
"Stop. Please." Jason protested meekly. Another tear slid down his face, but I knew it wasn't from the fact that Shadow had slapped him.
"Aw, is the heroic son of Jupiter scared of a little kiss?" Shadow teased. Jason didn't reply, only hung his head. I wanted to scream to him; I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay, that we were finding a cure for him and that Shadow would be gone. I wanted to run over and hug him tightly, for him to be comforted. I couldn't stand seeing Jason in this tortured, pitiful state.
My voice wouldn't work and my feet were glued to the floor. I could only watch as Shadow continued to torment Jason with blows to the face and taunting. This was probably the worst dream I'd ever had.
I woke up screaming, "JASON!" I was trembling all over and tears streaked down my face uncontrollably.
"Percy! Perce, what's wrong?" Leo exclaimed worriedly. Piper was still passed out, but she stirred a little in her sleep, mumbling about her boyfriend and how hot he was. I was still shaking and I wiped at my eyes furiously.
"It's Jason...he's…it's hard to explain, but-" And I told him the entire story as we glided through the sky towards our next destination.
-Ω-
Jason POV
I looked up at my tormentor; Shadow was staring at me with a wicked gleam in its blue eyes. I was just too tortured to even care anymore. I was cold, starving, thirsty, and everything hurt and ached; my face, my wrists, my ankles. The pain was just unbearable, but nothing was worse than the burning humiliation and shame of being naked in front of my captor. The disgrace was just awful.
What kind of person are you? Are you not embarrassed by this?
Be ashamed of yourself, nobody is as dishonorable as you are.
Do you feel no indignity? You're a worthless piece of trash that belongs on a stripper pole.
The depressing words of the voices that always lurked inside my head whispered words of despair into my ears. The comments rattled inside my skull and the burning shame increased. Tears trickled down steadily and I couldn't control it at all. This was torture.
I hung limply in my chains; the things that restrained me and seemed to be unbreakable. They were as cold as ice and the wounds on my wrists and ankles were still bleeding heavily as the icy air clawed at my skin, making the chill in my bones become even more intense.
"I control you, Jason Grace. Isn't that right?" it asked, its crooked smile contorting into a sneer. I didn't reply, only looked away. All of a sudden Shadow lunged at me, grabbing my chin and tilting it up so that I was looking it in the eyes. "I asked you a question. Answer it." It growled coldly. I didn't respond and tried to divert my gaze from Shadow's. It snarled and began to dig his fingernails into my skin. "Answer the question." I didn't. I tensed when Shadow drew away from me, preparing myself for a stinging slap, but it never came.
"It seems like I have to demonstrate my excellent puppeteer skills to get a response." It said with a smile. I cringed and began to tremble, causing the chains to rattle and clatter. What was he going to do to me? I was already tormented enough; I didn't want anything added on top of that. That's when an intense chill ran through my bones, paralyzing me. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. All I could do was blink.
Shadow stalked over, taking its Camp Jupiter shirt off and fanning itself with its hand. "Is it hot in here or is it just you?" it asked me. My eyes widened as I saw his chiseled chest; six pack and all. Was that how I looked like? I would've begun thrashing if it wasn't for the iciness that stopped me. Shadow looked me over head-to-toe. The shame burned me, filling my head with voices saying how I was such a disgrace. My cheeks reddened.
Shadow smirked when he saw my discomfort and embarrassment. "You look good." That was a pickup line. I was sure of it. No! Was Shadow even gay? Not that it was a problem at all; I have nothing against people like Nico, but in this situation I thought it was. This wasn't happening. I couldn't even scream as he touched my face. His fingers were gentle and his touch was light. I almost relaxed, but I wouldn't allow it.
"Watch this." Shadow snickered and he grabbed my shoulders, pulling us together. Our lips met. I screamed in my head. I tried to thrash and squirm, even bite him, but the coldness in my bones prevented that. Shadow unchained my hands and a sliver of hope wriggled its way into my head. Was I being freed? But that hope was crushed when he forced me into the kiss again, not bothering to unchain my feet. I wanted to slap him; I could do that now with my hands free, but I couldn't I just stood rigid. All of a sudden the voices that had always been bringing me down were now telling me how I felt:
You want more. They whispered.
No! I don't! Stop! I screamed in my head as my arms, out of my control and moving as if someone else was moving them, wrapped around Shadow's waist and pulled it closer to me. It smiled around my lips. The kiss deepened and he pushed against me, pinning me against the wall and wrapping his arms around my neck.
Stop! Please! I screeched.
More. More. More. The voices chanted. I sobbed inwardly as my hands entangled themselves in Shadow's blonde hair. I tried to squirm away; bite him, punch him, do whatever it takes to get him off of me. But my hands acted without my command and pushed Shadow closer. I wailed inside and a tear trickled down my cheek; the only sign that I wasn't controlling myself. That's when I realized that only Shadow's jeans and underwear were keeping us apart. Oh no.
No more restraints. No more separation. More Shadow. The voices yelled, overpowering the screaming I was doing inside.
My hands traveled down and hooked around Shadow's belt loops, drawing it even closer so that our hips were touching. The kiss was getting ferocious now and we were pulling and pressing each other so close it was as if we wanted to merge into one person. I swear there was a little tongue in there…okay, I lied; there was a lot of tongue. Like…a lot. Tears streamed down my face as the kiss deepened even more.
NO! I screamed at the top of my lungs and with a mighty wrench I bit down hard on Shadow's lip. It stumbled back as I began to claw at the chains on my feet, thrashing and writhing. Shadow turned to me, its lip bleeding. Even though blood was trickling down it was still smiling wickedly. It came over to me and I struggled even more, trying to get the chains on my feet off. It slammed me against the wall, eyes glinting murderously even though it was grinning ear to ear. With a mighty punch I was on the ground, screaming and clutching my broken nose. It quickly shackled my arms back to the wall and I was at square one again. I'd been so close. SO CLOSE TO BEING FREE I COULD SMELL IT. Then it was just taken away from me, just like everything else in my life.
"That was just a small example of how I can control you." Shadow growled, tilting my head up so I was forced to look at its face. "If you'd let me stay in control, that little make-out session could've become something more. Body to body. Skin to skin. It would've been a fun time." I drew back, disgusted.
"I wouldn't appreciate having 'a fun time.' And really, Shadow? Having it in a cell? You have horrible taste. A bedroom or even a couch would've been better." I scoffed mockingly. Shadow bared its teeth, annoyed with the fact that no matter how much it broke me I would still be defiant. It slapped me, but I stayed strong; holding its icy gaze boldly. It punched me in the gut and I gasped, straining against the chains. All of a sudden a golden whip materialized in its hands. Why shouldn't it? This was my subconscious after all and it was in control. I thrashed feebly, but I was already so beaten and weak.
Shadow lashed me across the chest and I shrieked, pulling at the chains furiously. They didn't give way. Blood began to gush down and pool on the floor as a deep gash from the whip cut its way across my abdomen. It continued to lash me and beat me; my screams never-ending and the chains retraining me mercilessly as the skin on my wrists and ankles began to bleed from thrashing.
Pretty soon I went limp. It lashed my chest again. I didn't move or even whimper. I stared off into nothing, thinking about how much of a failure I was and the voices gladly helped me beat myself up about this whole thing.
Worthless.
Weak.
Scrawny.
Useless.
Failure.
Disappointment.
Loser.
Disgrace.
I bent my head and tried to make myself look as small as possible, learning from my days with Lupa that it was a sign of submission. I was done; I finally submit. I didn't want to fight anymore; I had no fight left to even try. I finally succumbed to Shadow; it was in charge. I wouldn't thrash. I wouldn't make snarky comments or try to be defiant. Shadow was in control; it ruled me, it owned me. My moment of glory was gone. The defiance and the rebelliousness had left me.
"I give up." I said quietly, my voice raw from screaming. Shadow smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Look at me." it growled. I obeyed. I was nothing. I was its puppet. I did what it said without question. A tear found its way down my face and dripped onto the floor. "I control you, Jason Grace. Isn't that right?" it repeated.
I thought of the beating, the whipping, the cold, the misery, the anguish, the shame and humiliation, and the voices. Why did I even bother trying anymore? Why did I try to cling so desperately to what little I had left to live for? Wasn't I just going to lose it anyway? I looked up at it, my eyes becoming misty. Slowly, I nodded. A smile spread across its face. "Good. You've learned your place." Then it left, leaving me suffering in the dark.
