So sorry for the wait...This chapter is longer, with lots of Tatey goodness though it is a sad chappy.

Chapter 12 will probably be the wedding, but I don't know. I may draw the angst out a little more, do more Jim evilness, I haven't decided yet, but it will probably be finished soon, two more chapters at the most.

Disclaimer: I own nothiiiiink NOTHIIIIINK!!! ('cept Jim, his evilness is all my creation)


Kate walks to her desk, deliberately not looking behind her.

She sits down and brushes her fringe out of her eyes.

Kate bites down on her bottom lip. Hard. But she still cannot stop the hot tears that slip over her cheeks, leaving trails of black.

Trails of remorse.

Kate regrets what she said to Tony. She hadn't meant it.

Kate looks down at her wrists. She pulls her sleeves down again over the purple. Maybe Tony was right. Jim should get help. She should get him back into AA meetings.

AA meetings that he refuses to go to.


Tony slides down the elevator wall and sits on the floor. He numbly registers the doors closing.

'I- I thought we were friends.'

'You thought wrong.'

Of all of their fights, this is by far the worst.

Tony had been under the impression that they were close. Well of course they were close. They trusted each other with their lives. But that was work. In the field, Tony has her six, but out of work hours Tony can't always be there to watch her six. He can't always be there to keep her safe.

The sound of the elevator doors opening pulls Tony out of his funk.

Gibbs is standing at the entrance, cup of coffee in hand and a quizzical expression on his face. Standing a little behind him is Fornell, looking unusually bitter.

Tony doesn't move as the two men step into the elevator.

Fornell clears his throat pointedly.

Tony blinks up at them mutely.

'DiNozzo!' Gibbs barks, then softer: 'What're you doing?'

'Sitting.'

'Well go and sit at your desk. We need to use the elevator.'

Gibbs reaches the hand that is not holding his coffee down to help Tony up.

As he is leaving he hears Fornell say something, but Tony isn't listening,

Kate is sitting at her desk. And she's crying.


Kate is staring at her pencil jar but not seeing it.

Still the tears come, but she has given up trying to stem the flow.

When she was little, two or three years old, she was terrified of clowns. Kate would hide her face in her tiny hands. If I can't see him then he can't get me.

How Kate wishes it was that simple. That she could just close her eyes and it would all go away; the fear, the sorrow, the guilt.

When Tony comes up to her desk, she is too spent to notice him until he puts his hand on her shoulder.

Kate jumps at his touch, and he winces.

When a champagne bottle is shaken, pressure builds up inside the bottle and when the cork is released champagne spurts out, soaking the unfortunate soul who is standing in range.

That is a little like what Kate does, after a few seconds of just looking at Tony, she begins to cry.

Racking sobs that tear at her throat and at her heart.

And Tony, Tony just kneels in front of her, pulls her onto the floor and holds her while she cries, stokes her hair.

Its seems like an eternity, a lifetime even, that they sit there, rocking gently, almost under Kate's desk, but it is only a few moments.

'I'm sorry.' Kate murmurs into his chest.

Tony kisses the top of her head. 'Me too, Kate.'

'What the hell am I supposed to do?'

Tony pulls away from her, looks her into her dark eyes. 'I can't give you the answer to that one.' He brushes her hair off her face, hair stuck to her cheeks with tears. Tony leans forward and kisses her gently. Funny how such a small kiss can say so many things. Kate can feel Tony's regret, his unexplained sorrow, and also, his love. Yes, Kate has never been so sure of anything in her life. Tony loves her.

And she loves him.

But Kate knows that this is nothing new. They have been dancing around the obvious for more than a year now, longer than she has even known Jim.

Jim.

Kate pulls away from Tony, standing up. She pushes her hair off her face and wipes her eyes.

Tony stands too. 'Tony I–'

Tony puts his finger over her lips. 'I understand.' He looks at her sadly. Kate looks into his green eyes. She opens her mouth to tell him something –anything– but their moment is destroyed by Gibbs. Sometimes she thinks she could shoot him.

'Gear up, we got another victim!'

Or she could just hire the killer they were chasing.

Both of them turn away to get their things, deliberately not looking at each other.

And Kate wonders to herself, as she climbs into the NCIS truck, tries to remember, has Jim ever kissed her like Tony did? Kissed her so she feels as he does? Kate knows that the answer is no. But she doesn't let herself think this. She doesn't let herself think that that one little kiss probably meant more than her entire relationship with Jim.

She doesn't let herself think that that even though she knew that it was wrong, it had felt undeniably, undoubtedly,

Right.


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