Happy New Year, guys!!! Ok, please tell me if I suck at writing sadness, misery, depression, etc. I need to know. Also, I wore this short black sparkly dress to a party and it was the first time I wore actual high heels (Don't judge me, I'm only 13.) and my feet hurt like hell. Also, I saw this guy I hadn't seen since I was 9 and we'd only seen each other at the Harry Potter 7 book thing, so it wasn't exactly for a very long time, and he saw me that night and said I looked grown up and pretty. That coming from a guy you don't really know very well that is either finishing high school or already in college is a nice compliment. Plus he's kinda cute. I have to stop using this thing as a diary and start writing the actual chapter. Sorry, here goes. I don't think this chapter will be depressing...
BPOV:
The rest of the week went by blissfully. I no longer sat alone at lunch, at least. Alice and Edward sat with me, and when I passed them in the hallway, I smiled, or waved. I gave Edward my special smiles, but I was still reluctant. I was breaking my promises willingly. I knew I should care more, but I couldn't bring myself to. It just wasn't important enough. It wasn't more important than my happiness.
So telling Charlie had been a bit awkward. When he got home the next day, he saw me and Edward sitting together watching Romeo and Juliet (for English class). Edward had dinner with us, and he left around seven fifteenish. I knew I had to tell Charlie, so: flashback:
"Um, Dad, there's something I have to tell you," I said.
"It's about him, isn't it?" He asked with a smile. He saw my bewildered expression. "Bella, honey, just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't see. You like him, don't you?"
I blushed but nodded anyways. "So, um, he asked me to go on a date with him yesterday. We're going to a restaurant in Port Angeles on Friday. Is that ok, Dad?"
"Is it what you want?"
What a horrible question to ask. It was what I wanted, what my heart wanted. My brain said to quit playing high school girly-girl and get back to reality.
I really wanted this, and it felt like it was what I needed, but all of a sudden I wasn't so sure. I mean, I loved Edward, but I wasn't sure this was right. I did want this, even if it wasn't what was best, and that answered my father's question. "Yes, Dad. It's exactly what I want."
I know it's horrible to play with his feelings, but I honestly wasn't trying. I didn't want to make Edward feel bad, and I didn't want to feel like a total monster, but sometimes I couldn't help but think that this wasn't what was best. Sometimes I wondered if this wasn't what was expected of me, and then Edward held my hand, or said my name, or caressed my cheek and I forgot all about it.
Alice was all for me dating Edward, and she wasn't hiding it. I swear, even the principal, Mr. Greene, noticed something was up with her.
How would he notice, you might ask? Well, Alice and I were in Gym, trying (and failing miserably) to play baseball. We were practicing swings when I hit the innocent girl that happened to be walking behind me. Coach Clapp yelled a bit at me and then sent a note to Mr. Greene to ask if I could be excused of taking Gym, and he told Alice and me to go and see him. He told us to change and if we came back to sit on the bleachers. I couldn't be happier about the whole thing, but I could see Lauren Mallory's silent laugher, which was clearly meant to humiliate me. It didn't, though, because I'd been a victim of that long enough to not let it get to me.
So Alice and I changed and went to Mr. Greene, and he read the note and asked me if I had any coordination problems. I said: "Sir, I'm not sick or anything. I'm just so clumsy that I'm almost disabled." At that, Alice beamed, and Mr. Greene laughed softly.
"So Miss Swan, you had no intentions of hitting Carrie Wright with that bat? Or Tyler Crowley with that spike? Or Jessica Stanley with that racket? Or Mariah Thompson with that... wait you hit her with a shoe? How did you do that?"
"I was trying to take my shoe off and it was stuck, so I kind of tried pulling at it and got off and flied across the room and hit her. I didn't mean to," I said, blushing. "But I had no intentions of doing any of those things."
"Well, I see. No offense, but I can also why Coach Clapp wants you out of class. Do you wish to be excused from Gym for the rest of your schooling here?" He asked.
"Um, well, I'm no good at Gym, and I usually inflict pain on myself and those around me, but, would I be able to graduate without Gym?" I asked.
"Well, you're a very bright girl, and I'm sure the teachers wouldn't mind if I let you slip. By any chance, is there a reason Miss Cullen is smiling so hard it looks like her face might brake?" He asked with a smile.
"She knows her brother and I are going on a date this Friday, and she's too happy about it… If you think about it, it's probably the reason she didn't tell me I was going to hit Rebecca Hess. She's more lost in fantasies about me and Edward than me," I said, blushing. I laughed a bit.
"Well, then that's none of my business. Miss Cullen?" He asked.
"Yes sir?" She said politely.
"Do you need to be taken out of Gym?"
"Well, I'm coordinated, and I can do sports, but Coach Clapp wants me out, too, so I don't know," she said.
"Please don't tell anyone, but Coach Clapp is the best Gym teacher the school has had in the last few years, and we want to keep him. I will give you two credit for the rest of this year and all of next year, because that would satisfy him, and we want him that way. Breathe a word of this and you are both back to Gym class. What you will do with your free period is sit and watch or do homework, or go to the library and do homework. Is that clear, girls?" We both nodded. "Good, now get back. The bell's about to ring."
We went back, but Alice had made it so clear that I'd had to confess, that I was blushing as we walked out.
It was Thursday, and Alice was going on and on about how the restaurant was so I would look for something appropriate to wear. She said it was semi-formal, so she said I had to wear a short dress. I just nodded and agreed without noticing what I was saying. She said she wasn't going to go overboard, but her overboard wasn't the same as mine, so I had to be careful what I agreed to at home. Edward and Angela were sitting with us, and Angela was thrilled that people were sitting with her. Alice said she wanted to meet the quiet girl Angela, and Edward followed her lead, so now Angela had two new friends. I was happy that she was happy, and she was happy, so that ended well.
I was just quite glad my grades weren't dropping, but then again I was still studying as much as I usually did. The only difference now was that when I didn't understand something, Edward helped me.
You're probably wondering if I still hang out with Jacob. Well, after that one time he came over, I called and tried to apologize, but he said: "You know, if you didn't want me over 'cause of your boyfriend, then you should've told me. You should've told me you had a boyfriend in the first place, ok? I don't know what's going on, but I still want to be friends, but tell a guy when you're already dating, k? You give a guy hope, and then you squash it. Anyway, I gotta go, my friend Quil and I are going to the beach. Later, Bells."
So, yeah, I wasn't hanging out with Jacob much. I only saw him when he came over with Billy, or when Charlie and I went down. So not that much.
"Bella! Have you been listening at all?" Alice's yell brought me back.
"Um, yes." I blushed.
"Oh yeah? What was the last thing I said?"
"Something about me wearing a short dress to the date?" I said.
"No! That was a long time ago! I was asking about what color you want your nails! Gosh!" Alice was bothering me now.
"Dude, chill. I don't want to paint my nails." The bell rung at exactly the right moment. "Besides, I have to get to class." I got up and dumped my tray and joined Edward and Angela at the door to walk to Biology. We walked in silence, and we entered the room in silence, unlike everyone else. I sat on my chair and Edward in his, and I took out my notebook. Something that had never happened before happened: Mike Newton approached me.
"Hi, I'm Mike. I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight. So, will you?" He said in a confident voice. He had the kind of face that said: "Dude, I've never been rejected, so my ego's through the roof."
"No. I have a date tomorrow, and I don't want to go with you," I said. I saw Jessica Stanley glaring daggers at me from across the room.
"Oh, well why can't you bail on your date and go have dinner at the bar with me?" He said haughtily.
"Oh really? Well, you wanna know what I think?" I said. He nodded eagerly.
"I think it's good for you that you're getting rejected! I don't like you. I don't like bars. And I would never 'bail on my date' for you. You're an insensitive, over-confident little ---." The bell ringing blocked the name I called him. He heard it, though, something I was glad for. Edward heard it, too, and he seemed surprised that I knew that kind of vocabulary. I chuckled.
Mr. Banner came in dragging a cart with a TV and DVD. A movie day. Yes!
We were watching something to do with cellular reproduction. I don't get why, because we were doing this topic for over two months now, and I think the class understood it quite clearly. But whatever, at least we weren't taking notes.
The movie played, but not many people watched. Mike fell asleep, Jessica started passing notes with a girl I didn't know, a blond started texting under her desk, and I watched inattentively. I glanced at Edward a few times, and he was always looking at me. I looked at Angela, and she was watching, but her head was held by her arm, and I'm sure she was as bored as the rest of the class. I just couldn't concentrate. We weren't getting homework, at least, but this left me to ponder and speculate (I just like using weird and odd and big words) about how the date would go.
I wasn't very shocked when the bell rang, because I'd been looking at the clock on the wall for ten minutes straight. I said goodbye to Edward and left for my locker to get my homework. Alice and I did our hardest homework in the Gym, because we were banned from class.
I sat and got a malicious glare from Lauren Mallory. I smiled at her teasingly. It was known she hated Gym class almost as much as not getting what she wanted. She turned and tapped a girl on the shoulder and whispered something in her ear. The girl, Kay Riddler, turned and they both glared at me. I snickered.
Alice arrived and sat next to me and smiled. I pointed and she looked and giggled. Just then, before Lauren and Kay could be any more amusing, Coach Clapp called attention and said to split up into two teams. I turned back to Alice.
"So what are you doing today, Ali?" I asked.
"Oh, just sketching something. I didn't have homework today," she said with a smile.
"I have Math." I concentrated on the twenty-five problems I had to solve. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't easy either. When I was done, I did the essay for Spanish class, which was on the different types of people, and the kind you thought you were.
I focused on people in school, and the kind I had been, the kind I am, the kind I will never be, and the kind I do not like. Lauren and Kay being in the latter category.
I was done in less time than I would have thought possible, so I looked over at what Alice was drawing. It was a very perfect heart, with vines weaving in and out of each other around the outside lines. Inside was a very detailed drawing of two faces looking at each other. I recognized my face, but she beautified it, she made me seem so beautiful, when I really wasn't. Then Edward's face. She drew almost to perfection, but she was missing a curve in his cheekbone, and the hair had to be a bit more tousled, and he was wearing red, something I knew as a fact he hated to use. Over our heads were the words: You don't see yourselves clearly. You only see the other for who they are. I gasped.
She caught me. "What are you doing!?" She said.
"I'm sorry!" I went back to my seat and checked if I had any more homework. Alice seemed really mad that I'd looked at her drawing, but why? She was really good. I mean, her drawing was extremely accurate.
I ignored it because there was no way to figure it out. There was no way to figure out the person that was Alice Cullen.
When the bell rang, I fled to my locker and grabbed my things. I went to my car and drove home. There, I finished a small Power Point project for English class about the book I read for a report and then walked to my wardrobe. I had to pick out what I was wearing for my date tomorrow. It was semi-formal, and Alice said a short dress would be essential. I did have a few short dresses, and I liked most of them, except the pink one mom had gotten me for my sixteenth birthday.
I had a blue one that Alice had gotten me on the sleepover so long ago. It was really pretty, and it was a dark blue, a color I loved. It was mysterious yet elegant, two qualities I loved. It had a round neck, with a line under the bust with beads in it. I tried it on and it ended a few inches above my knees. It looked amazing, and I was sure with Alice's make up and hair skills it would look even better.
I decided to wear it with a nice casual ivory cardigan that was loose and pretty. Let Alice be Alice, but I will wear it with what she would call "an old lady cardigan". By the time I was done, it was almost time for Charlie to be home. I cooked a quick dinner: pasta. I wasn't very fancy or gourmet, so it only took about twenty minutes.
Charlie got home and we ate in silence, until he asked: "So, you've got a date tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah, Dad. You don't mind Alice coming over to help me get ready, do you?" I asked.
"What do you mean 'help you get ready'?" He asked.
"I mean, she'll strap me to a chair and do my make up and hair. I'll go along with it, but just know it wasn't exactly my idea," I provided.
"Well, ok, then. What I was going to say was that I want you to be careful. I don't want you hurt, and I want you happy." He sat uncomfortably, as if wishing I wouldn't gush out my feelings about Edward, and say that I was going to be fine. As if.
"It's ok, Dad. Thanks," I said.
And that was it for conversation.
I went to bed and dreamt of the most romantic date with the best guy ever.
What do you think? I thought it was ok, but it was just filler. I hate it when I just write filler, because I want something to happen. I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, though, and it's because I had this idea and I don't want to post it. I'm tired of using the Twilight characters, so I'm using the Maximum Ride (by James Patterson) characters. It's about a girl that goes to a spy school and falls in love, but the slutty receptionist tries to get her expelled. If you want me to post it, please send me a message… Bye! Please review.
Also, a shout out to a story.
I don't do this, but I really like a whole lot of stories, and if you don't know about them, then think you'll like them.
1) If You were Mine- It's a Twilight fic, and it's very dramatic, (not to mention long. It took me 4 days to read it.), but it's REALLY good. I highly recommend it. It's already complete. It's on my favorites list…
The next update will have the next recommendation in the end.
Thanks for reading!
