Spencer walked up to her locker on Friday morning, merely thankful that her father had taken the day off and drove her to school. She smiled when she saw that Emily was standing next to her locker. Spencer could take most of her punishment, but not being able to see her friends was something that wasn't so easy to adapt to. Especially when recent events had drawn them closer than ever.

"Hi." Spencer said when she made it up to her locker.

"So, I have a question for you?" Emily smiled back.

"What class?"

"It's not work Spence." Emily rolled her eyes. "Is there any way that you can get out of your house this weekend."

"I..." Spencer started, glancing around to make sure that Ian wasn't there. Once satisfied that he wasn't going to randomly appear she finished her sentence. "I think I can get out tomorrow night."

"Really?"

"It's complicated, but I somehow ended up agreeing to go this party..."

"You volunteered to go to a party?"

"Not exactly. But the point is I need to go. Why did you want to know?"

"I know someone who misses you." Emily beamed.

"I miss you, Han and Aria too."

"Not us!" Emily stated. "Well us too, but that's not who I was talking about."

"Who then?"

"Toby."

Spencer paused then "Why would he miss me? He's the one who all but told me to get lost."

"You two are as stubborn as each other, do you know that?" Emily tilted her head. "He likes you, you like him, and yet both of you are just content to let everything slip away. He wants to explain Spence, he honestly thinks that he's not... for lack of a better word, worthy of you."

"There's nothing I can do about that, I tried."

"Tried? Since when does Spencer Hastings try once, and then give up? That's not the Spencer I know."

Hanna walked up then, her arm interlinked with Aria's. "What are you two talking about?"

"Spencer and Toby." Emily replied.

"Ohhhh. Wait, what is going on with Spencer and Toby?" Hanna asked, her voice gaining a slightly more excited tone.

"Nothing!" Spencer said. "And can we please stop talking as if I'm not here."

"Only because they're both too stubborn to admit how they truly feel." Emily replied, ignoring the latter half of Spencer's statement, causing the girl in question to scoff.

"I did, and it didn't turn out well." Spencer pointed out. "Maybe it's for the best that I take his advice, and just let things stay the way they are."

"Well I think it would be hot." Hanna nodded, receiving glares from the other girls. "Oh come on, you know it would be! That whole forbidden love thing, you can't disagree Aria."

"Hey!" Aria objected.

"Who said anything about love?" Spencer said at the same time, causing the other's to give her looks that said "are you kidding?"

"We know you Spence." Aria said after what seemed like a couple of minutes, but was actually more in the region of a couple of seconds. "We've watched you in relationships; we learned to read what the little smiles on your face mean. And there was always one of those smiles on your face when someone brought up Toby, especially when you thought that no-one was looking at you."

"I did not!" Spencer shot back. "It's Hanna that gets all lovey-dovey over guys."

"I'm not the only one." Hanna sang. "We're girls, it's allowed."

"Look the point is I don't love Toby." Spencer said averting her eyes, causing the other three girls to glance at each other. Noticing this Spencer sighed. "I'm going to regret asking but what now?"

"You couldn't look at us when you said you didn't love Toby." Emily supplied.

"I don't." Spencer shrugged. "But... I... I thought that maybe somewhere down the line, it might have turned out that way. I liked him, I'll say that, but it's just too hard. And can we stop talking about this now? It can't turn out well if anyone overhears."

"We'll drop it." Aria nodded.

"For now." Hanna muttered, receiving glares again. "What you two want to know as well, let's not pretend otherwise."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "I have to get to class."

They watched her walk her walk away, then Emily muttered. "She didn't answer me."

"Answer what?" Aria asked.

"Well..." Emily started to tell them about her talks with Spencer and Toby, and how she wanted to get them both in the same room so that they could at least talk. The other's nodded along, and agreed that they would help Emily out. If there was something, or someone, who made Spencer's life a little brighter, then they needed to find a way to fix it. Because they didn't buy Spencer's 'I'm fine' act, they knew she wasn't dealing with everything properly.


Spencer slumped into her desk, belatedly noticing that Anthony had chosen the seat next to her. She was only half listing to their French teacher describe today's lesson, until they got to the 'partner up' bit. Spencer wasn't feeling in the most sociable mood at that minute. She groaned as Anthony pulled his desk up to hers.

"Wow, someone's happy. Not enough sleep?"

"Seriously, buy a dictionary and look up boundaries!"

"OK, so no jokes." He raised his eyebrow at her. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." Spencer snapped. "People need to stop asking me that!"

"OK, so... shall we talk about the similarities between French and English, or do you just want to continue being crabby, because I'm flexible."

"No you're annoying, there's a difference."

"I'm wounded." He gasped placing a hand over his chest. "But seriously, have you ever read the same book in both languages."

And despite it being with good intentions, this was the worst thing he could say to Spencer at that moment. Her mind automatically went back to Toby, that first day on the porch, then the way he hid the note in the book trusting her enough to figure it out, even at that stage trying to keep her protected.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Anthony asked.

Spencer nodded, refusing to look at anything but the floor. She knew that there would be tears in her eyes, and she refused to let anyone else see them. "I'm already said I'm fine."

"Is it about him?" Anthony sighed eventually.

"No." Spencer replied, but she failed to hide the slight wobble in her voice.

Anthony suddenly felt the guilt hit him again. At first when she was just a name, he didn't care much about what he was doing; it got his Dad off his case a little. But the more time he spent with Spencer, the more he realised that she was actually a great person. He had seriously been debating if he should give the whole thing up, and tell her the truth. Then something always stopped him. If he told there, there was no way she would forgive him. And if her parents didn't want her to be with someone that badly, then they must not be good news. But looking at her now, he knew what he had to do.

"Anyway." Spencer said brightly, shaking her head as if that would clear away her thoughts. "The books, I'd say that there was..."


Emily was taking out her English books when she saw someone walk up to her.

"Hi." Antony said awkwardly.

"Hi." Emily replied politely even if she was confused. "I'm sorry have we ever talked?"

"No, but I need to talk to you about Spencer?"

"What happened? Is she OK?"

"She's fine. I just think that she needs people in her life that she can trust."

"And you know this on what authority?" Emily asked.

"Believe me; I know what I'm talking about." Anthony replied.

"Look if you're just messing with me or Spence for some reason, then I'm not buying it."

"I'm not messing with you." He replied. "She seems to like that guy that her parents don't want her to see."

Emily blinked a couple of times. There was no way that Spencer had told the person before her about Toby. Spencer was a closed person, and she hadn't even told her best friends the whole truth. Everything they knew about Toby and Spencer, was pretty much second hand knowledge, things that they had noticed by themselves. Like the fact that Spencer had been smiling more, despite the fact her world had been getting progressively harder.

"She does." Emily replied eventually, then watched as Anthony scribbled something down on a piece of paper.

"Can you get him to show up here, at eight on Saturday?"

"Yes. But why are you doing this? Her parents won't be too happy if they find out that someone helped the two of them meet?"

"I know that." Anthony replied "But let's just say I owe her one. Just get him to turn up, and I'll make sure that she's there."


"Will you stop fidgeting?" Anthony asked Spencer, who had spent their car ride twirling her thumbs. And she was standing at the side of the party, nervously glancing around. "They won't notice that you're not in the house."

"You don't know that." Spencer shook her head.

"Will you try to have some fun? It honestly won't kill you."

"You don't know that either!"

"Come on a walk with me?"

"We just got here."

"I know, but I have something to show you."

"Fine." Spencer sighed following him into a somewhat secluded path. "Erm, where are we going?"

"Not too much further." Anthony replied, then he got to a clearing. "Here we are."

"Well about ti..." Spencer started then stopped when she noticed the other people in the clearing. "Em? T... Toby. What's going on?"

"We should go now." Emily said to Anthony as he nodded.

"No, not until I know what's going on." Spencer demanded.

It was Anthony who spoke next. "We just thought that you needed someone to cheer you up. After your parents banned you from seeing Toby and did everything in their power to keep you away from him, even showing up at his house to take you home and..."

"I never told you that." Spencer said suddenly, as an 'A' message floated into her head. 'Think of your favourite vowel! Hint – it's not me'

"What?" Anthony asked, looking pale.

"I never told you that. But... It was you, you were the one who told my father where I was. But how did you even know? And why would you do something that horrible?"

"I didn't..."

Spencer just shook her head and began to walk away.

"Spence wait..." Emily started.

"Don't." Spencer replied, snapping her head around to look at Emily. "Am I really that predictable? You think you can get me to show up, and I'll act like you want me too? I'm so sick of everyone thinking they can control me, or treat me like what I want doesn't matter."

"Spence that's not what we were doing." Emily replied wounded, and while Spencer knew that she wasn't being fair, she still turned around and walked away. Emily went to run after her, until Toby placed his hand on her arm to stall her.

"I'll go."


"Spencer." Toby called out as he ran after her. But Spencer just kept walking ahead, not bothering to even glance behind her.

"Just leave me alone." She called over her shoulder.

Deciding that enough was enough, Toby pushed himself to run faster, so that he was in front of her, then he turned around so that he was facing her, and grabbed her arms to make her stop.

"Hey! Let me go." She protested trying to pull her arms back.

"I just want to talk." He whispered, holding her arms gently.

"Well I don't." She said still trying to pull her arms back. "I don't want to see anyone right now. Let alone you!"

"What's that meant to mean?" Toby replied, somewhat wounded by her statement. Spencer had been the only person who wanted to see him lately. And to hear her say that caused something in him to stir, something that said he didn't deserve her friendship. And another part of him was gloating that it knew he would mess up the only good thing in his life. But he knew her, and he knew that she wasn't telling him everything.

"It was you who didn't want to talk before, all I'm doing is agreeing with you." She huffed, then he felt her stop trying to pull away. Then she whispered "I just... Why?"

"Why what?" Toby asked confused.

"Why wasn't I good enough?"

"Why weren't you good enough?" Toby repeated confused.

"I'm never good enough for anyone... Not my parents, not my sister... But I thought that... I thought that you accepted me, for me. I just need to know what I done that was so wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, taking his hands from her arms to tilt her chin up so that she was looking at him. "Believe me, there is absolutely nothing you have done wrong. Actually the only time I've felt even slightly happy lately has been with you. It's me that isn't good enough. You're amazing. You're smart, you're funny, you're beautiful, you're caring, you're brave... You can be judgemental, stubborn, competitive and have a tendency to never admit that you lost. But none of that outweighs all of your good qualities."

"Then why did you... that day in your room..."

"Because your good qualities might outweigh the bad. That doesn't mean the same can be said for me."

Spencer looked into his eyes, tilting her head slightly, as a slight bittersweet laugh escaped her lips. "I think you got that messed up. It's the other way around."

"No, it's not. Think about it, people cross the street when they see me. And even with everything, people still want to talk to you. People believe the best in you, and the worst in me."

"No they don't." Spencer shook her head. "I can't even get my family to believe me."

"That's because your family don't realise that they need to change you, you're already perfect."

"You know how cheesy that is right?" Spencer laughed slightly, hating that being with Toby make it impossible to stay mad at him. Just the way he was looking at her, as if she was the only thing he could see, the only thing he wanted to see, made her want to smile. Until she remembered that night in his room.

"I know, it was painful to say." He joked, and then his smile fell. "But I meant it. If I was them I wouldn't change anything about you."

"Well I wouldn't change anything about you." Spencer shot back. "But you don't seem to listen to that! You don't seem to realise that I need you know! When you say that everything's going to be OK, I find myself believe it, and that doesn't happen when anyone else says it. You are one of the most guarded people I have ever met, but that doesn't stop you risking something to help someone who has never been kind to you! You're smart, and don't say you're not, you bet me in scrabble. You gave me a chance when I showed up on your porch... I feel safe when I'm with you, nothing makes me feel safe anymore, but you did. I loved spending that night in the hotel, you were just being you and I had a great time. No matter what anyone else in the town says, I know the truth. That you are one of the nicest, most loyal, forgiving people to live in this town. And if they can't see how amazing you are then that's their..."

Spencer was cut off by Toby's lips pressing gently against hers. Being caught off guard (much like their first kiss) she stumbled back slightly, and Toby placed his hands gently on her hips to stop her falling. When they pulled apart, Toby kept his hands on Spencer, as she smiled shyly at him.

"Well... that wasn't talking." She quipped.

"No, I suppose it wasn't."

"There's no-one better you know." Spencer whispered looking into his eyes.

He just looked at her, doubt written in his eyes.

"It's true." She replied "I mean look at Anthony, he is the kind of person you described that I should be with. But all he did is hurt me. And I let you in further than him, and you never hurt me. Even when I've been responsible for so much hurt in your past."

"Bygones Spencer." Toby whispered, then spoke louder. "But we do need to talk. Do you think you can stay out a little longer?"

"At this point, I don't care what else my family takes from me. There's not much left anyway, so yes I can stay out a little longer."

"Shall we go somewhere else?" Toby asked, causing Spencer to nod. They both began walking back the way that they came, noticing that both Emily and Anthony had already left. Then Toby paused. "There's only one little problem."

"What?" Spencer asked hesitantly.

"Well you didn't drive and I'm guessing Emily left with her car. Leaving us with my method of transportation."

That was when they made it to the bit that Toby had parked his motorcycle; he then smiled down at Spencer, who was looking at the bike like it was alien. "I finally got it fixed."

"Oh..." Spencer trailed off, then looked up to see Toby smirking at her. "What now?"

"I told you that I would get you on it." He said handing her a helmet. He saw her reluctance, but knew there was one way to ensure that she would get on. "Unless you're too scared, I mean we can always walk and..."

"Shut up." She stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm getting on."

Once she was satisfied that the helmet was on properly, she climbed onto the bike behind Toby and automatically wrapped her arms around his waist, holding on a little too tight in an effort to calm her fears.

Toby felt her arms circle his waist, and he couldn't stop the surge of happiness and comfort he felt at her gesture. He knew that she was scared, but she trusted him enough to not let her fall. She also had to be the passenger, and he was pretty sure that giving up control was a new concept for her.

He squeezed one of her hands in reassurance. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know." She whispered back, and he got the sudden feeling that she wasn't just trusting him with driving her tonight. And he found that her putting her trust in him, made him the happiest he's been in a long time. And with that he took off, no real destination in mind. But he found that with Spencer's arms in a death grip around his waist, he wasn't in a rush for the journey to be over.