A/N: Hello! I'm so sorry about the massive gap in updates, I've been super busy with a school and lacking inspiration. I'm back now though, and I promise my updates will be a lot more consistent. Hope you enjoy this!
The next month passes by unbearably slow.
Effie constantly bugs me to talk to Peeta and says that I'm being unreasonable but I continue to avoid him. I spend the majority of my time in the woods now, enjoying the freedom and fresh air, until one day Haymitch corners me at the side of the woods.
"You're going to need to stop avoiding him one day you know." He says.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I reply stubbornly.
"Don't play stupid with me. That boy is –for some strange reason- cut up on you, he's devastated that you're ignoring him. He thinks you hate him."
"Well that's just stupid." I mutter.
"Is it? You've not spoken to him in a month." Haymitch rubs his brow, looking exhausted. "Come on Katniss, do the right thing."
I shrug and mumble something about seeing what I could do, and then run back to the house. I hide out in my bedroom for an hour and try to think of something appropriate to say.
Sorry I left you alone in a restaurant after you proposed to me, don't feel to bad about it.
Sorry I turned you down and you got drunk then passed out at the side of the road.
In the end I give up on trying to prepare and just walk to his room. I knock softly on the door, then wait. There is no reply, so I slowly open the door and walk in. He is lying fast asleep. I know I should turn back, and I go to, but then something stops me. I tiptoe across the room and sit down on the bed beside him. He has no shirt on and his covers just cover his chest. His arms are clenched around his body tightly and I can see he is obviously shaking. He whimpers slightly. My hand reaches out on its own accord and smoothes some of his hair out of his face. He sighs and is whole body visibly relaxes.
I stay like this for the next couple of minutes, the room silent except from Peeta's soft breathing. I take the opportunity to look at his face close up. His eyelashes are so long it's a wonder that they don't get tangled when he blinks. There is some stubble along his jawline, but it's so light it's hard to see. He really is beautiful.
"Katniss."
I jump when I hear my name, worried that I've been discovered. I haven't, it's just Peeta talking in his sleep. He repeats my name and sighs, a small smile on his lips. I feel guilty for watching him like this, like I'm intruding. I reluctantly stand, slowly lifting my hand. The moment my hand leaves his head, Peeta's eyes open.
"Katniss? What's wrong?" he blinks, looking confused.
"I'm sorry, I came to talk but you were sleeping so I-" I avoid eye contact with him. He sits upright and his covers fall down so I can see even more of his chest. He's toned, more so than I would have guessed, and covered in scars and burns.
He sees where I'm staring and yanks the covers back up quickly, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry. How long have you been sitting?"
"Not long. You were having a nightmare and then you said-" I groan, why did I have to say that?
"Oh." His face goes slightly pink, I know he realises he must have mentioned me. "I have a lot of nightmares."
"Me too." I confess to make him feel better, and it's true. Every night I see Gale's house in ruins, Peeta and even Finnick running through some foreign land or mother lying motionless in our old house.
"Maybe we could fight through them together." Peeta says. "You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"
I nod. "I wanted to apologise. About that night. I shouldn't have left you."
"No Katniss, I'm the one who should be apologising. I completely overreacted and I'm so sorry that I put you in that position." He looks genuinely ashamed and I feel a pang of regret, it should be so easy to love this boy. I really don't deserve him. "I hope you'll forgive me."
"Of course." I sit back down beside him.
"I've missed you Katniss," he says. The last month has been so dull, there is only so much of Haymitch and Finnick I can take."
"Pfft, try being around Effie constantly!"
Peeta laughs, and for the first time in a month, I do too.
