Part Two: Spring
Chapter One: Silence, Solitude, Serenity
At once, the full force of living hit him.
It tore through his soul, and tore through his head-
It hurt so much, so much.
The pain in his wounds, killing him
The pain of thinking again, thinking of so many things
And feeling so much.
Only one word he knew
Only one word, the word he'd been dying to say-
The name of the person he'd been dying to see...
But she was gone. He was alone.
And this pain hurt him so much
Hurt him even more than his wounds
For he knew that nothing could heal it.
Her eyes were closed. Her eyes were closed, and she leaned on Zuko's shoulder quietly, the tears streaming down her cheeks.
She didn't see his grey eyes blink into focus, blink and look at her. She didn't see him looking at her shadowed figure in the silence, watching as the prince's arms held her close and tight.
He was silent. Was this a delusion, a dream? Was this even real?
The boy watched as the two held each other, held each other and forgot the world. Forgot that anyone else existed. Forgot about him.
She didn't see how his heart was breaking, how he took in every tear and every sound and every move she made. She didn't see him wake, see him wonder if this were another nightmare he had yet to wake up from. She didn't hear him whisper her name, didn't hear the strangled sound of a voice yearning to be heard.
No. He shut his eyes tight, overwhelming pain encompassing him, and fought the desire to cry.
She doesn't deserve this, he thought. She doesn't deserve to know that I love her.
She sat, her lips curled into a tight little smirk, and raised her head as the footsteps drew nearer.
"You're lucky that the weak old fool believes in second chances," she stated, noting the falter in the addressed figure's step as he approached her cell. "Otherwise, both of us wouldn't be here, despite our despicable treachery. I'm surprised that Uncle thought to lock me up in this place."
She shrugged casually, noticing that her visitor was shifting uneasily as he stood before her, only thin metal bars between them.
"Of course, you're different. You've been here for years."
Mai was never one for silences.
Of course, there were those silences that she liked. She liked the silences of the nights curled up in Zuko's arms, her head resting comfortably on his shoulders as they slept. The peaceful silences spent reading under starlight, the light summer silences enveloping her as she walked the imperial gardens. Those silences were golden, and she wished that she had more of them.
But no, this was an uncomfortable, eerie, empty silence, and it was louder than anything.
She gazed around her room as she sat on her bed, looking at everything. The walls, the drapery, the portrait of Zuko and Mai hanging there. She looked at it intently, remembering how he had commented that Mai was supposed to be taller than him. She had scowled, saying that it would've ruined the overall effect, and hung it up anyways.
She wondered where he was, if he was safe. If anything, she wanted to know if he was thinking of her.
The silence still hung in the air, and she sighed quietly. Why hadn't she thought to go with him? She had known it was his duty as crown prince to make peace with the world, but that didn't mean he had to go alone. Mai suddenly felt a sort of loneliness in the air, and wished that she had someone other than Ty Lee to hold on to. Someone to save her from this bleak and silent world.
This silence is unnerving, she thought. Even a prison cell would be livelier.
And at once, she was reminded of Azula. She had heard malice in her voice as she spoke behind the bars, saw a glint in the former princess' hazel eyes. Azula had spoken like she was still heir to the throne; she had intimidated her. It was amazing how she had that effect on her, on everyone around her.
Except Iroh and Zuko. Zuko.
Mai knew that it wasn't pleasant to dwell on things she couldn't have, but the ghost of Zuko's prescence was haunting her. And with every second of silence that passed, she was reminded of his voice, his touch, his smell. She was reminded that he was miles from home and miles from her. She was reminded that he would be gone for months, maybe years.
She was reminded that she was alone for now. Alone until Zuko returned and held her in his arms again.
For now, she would just have to grow accustomed to dreaming.
"I finished the letter," he announced. The window was open, and he climbed in, grinning.
"Bravo." Came a muffled voice from the bed. "Leave."
Toph's feet dangled over the side of the bed as she lay sideways, a pillow covering her face. He frowned and snatched the pillow away, causing her to sit up and attempt to snatch it back.
"I was sleeping," she stated as he threw the pillow aside. "So this better be good, Snoozles."
"I'm sure you'll find it appropriate." A rustling of parchment, and he cleared his throat dramatically.
"Dear Your Royal Majestic Highness-"
"Your Royal Majestic Highness?"
"It's rude to interrupt!"
"Sorry, I'm just saying. Isn't that a bit too much?"
"No. These people like to be flattered." Sokka nodded curtly and proceeded to read the rest of the letter.
"Dear Your Royal Majestic Highness,
You have recently recieved an invitation from the Bei Fong Residence inviting you to chaperone your nephew to our daughter's ball. Unfortunate circumstances have caused the ball to be cancelled, and I am sorry to say that your prescence is not requested any longer-"
"Prescence is not requested?"
"What about that?"
"My parents would be ecstatic if the Earth King showed up at their doorstep, so I'd doubt they'd say that his prescence isn't requested."
"Well, given the situation, his prescence is certainly not requested."
"Whatever. Just finish reading."
"Fine, then. I am sorry to say that your prescence is not requested any longer. Although we are dismayed by this, we hope that you will understand our situation and will not show up. Thank you for your understanding. Signed, Lao Bei Fong."
He looked up from the parchment, only to find a pair of eyes staring blankly at him.
"That's it?"
"Yeah. You think it'll work?"
Toph sighed. "Come closer, and I'll tell you."
He stepped forwards, and she flicked him on the forehead.
"Hey! What was that?"
"Punishment for being so idiotic." She sighed. "Obviously, you've never written a real letter before."
"Look who's talking. You don't even know how to write!"
This was a mistake, for as soon as the words escaped his mouth, she moved about an inch closer and proceeded to punch him in the stomach. He winced in pain, wondering how the heck that could've hurt so much.
"Okay, fine. Sorry. What I'm trying to say is..." He paused, trying to find the right words that could save him from more physical damage. "Well, I've written a lot more things than you have. And I doubt you'd know how to word a letter properly..."
She glared at him, and he backed away.
"Okay, okay. I bet you do know how to word things. In fact, I think you'd word things very well. But a letter to the Earth King?" He shrugged. "Don't think you can do much better than that."
"Alright, Mr. High-and-Mighty. Wanna bet?" The glare was gone and replaced with a challenging smirk.
"Uh, sure. Problem is, you don't exactly have the capabilities of a letter writer."
"That's where you're wrong. I have a voice, a brain, and servants." She jumped off the bed, stood up, and faced Sokka with an air of superiority. "I also have elegance, wit, and the makings of a lady."
"You're joking, right?"
"I thought you knew me better than to ask me that question." Toph rolled her eyes and crossed her arms challengingly. "Get a piece of paper and some ink, dear chaperone. And while you're at it, bring me some water."
"How are you going to do this? Don't you at least need sight for writing letters? I doubt your feet can help you here."
"Don't ask questions. And hey, who said that I was gonna be the one doing the writing?"
She grinned as Sokka climbed out the window, probably feeling like there was no way in the world she would win. Well, then, he didn't know Toph Bei Fong.
Icebergs were coming into view.
She felt the chill in the air as she walked on deck, sensed the frigidity of the water. She saw the penguin-seals diving with the current of the oceans, heard the cries of gulls as they flew above the ship.
He looked at her quietly. "Are you cold?"
"No, not really." She sighed and leaned against the railing of the ship. "Growing up in these regions really have their advantages. I'm used to the cold by now." Shrugging halfheartedly, she turned to face him. "I guess I kind of missed it, actually."
The prince took a seat by the railing and looked out into the oceans, at the horizons beyond. He had a girlfriend that was waiting for him miles and miles away. He was to drop Aang and Katara off, offer his sincerest apologies, then return to Ba Sing Se, where he was to offer his sincerest apologies, then go to various other districts, again offering his sincerest apologies. Something told him that it was a trivial task, and a part of him wished that Iroh had undertaken it. But another half of him felt like it wasn't exactly going to be that simple.
And then, after that, I'm going to go home. I'm going to see Mai and Uncle and home again.
For some reason, the prospect of seeing Mai didn't make tingles run up his spine anymore. For some reason, he rather enjoyed being out in the seas, the smell of salt invigorating his senses and waking him up. He felt like he had a purpose. With Mai, it was just holding her hand and being with her. Not that he didn't enjoy it, but... it just didn't feel the same.
He shook the thought off. He loved Mai, and Mai loved him. Of course he wanted to see her again.
He looked back at the ship, at the deck, at Katara. The girl had tied her hair back into a braid, in the traditional style of Water Tribe girls. He knew he was wondering about her friend, about how she was going to save him. Of course, he was beyond repair... but he knew she was hoping.
There was some invisible bond between them now. They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies. Zuko guessed that it was trust holding them together. Trust and some gratitude.
Gratitude for taking us to the North Pole, Katara had said. Mostly directed towards your Uncle.
He sighed, watching as his breath made a small cloud in the air. The air was bitingly cold, and he wondered how the girl in front of him could withstand it. If Mai were here, she would probably complain, but Katara... she leaned against the railing, her eyes to the sea beyond, watching as the waves rolled and the icebergs floated away. She didn't mention how boring or bleak or depressing the scene was. She wasn't like other girls he knew.
That didn't mean much to him, he convinced himself. She wasn't his type. His heart belonged to another. Katara's heart belonged to another. They were only former enemies. They were only acquaintances.
And as much as he told himself that, a small part of his heart wished that it wasn't true.
Author's Note: So, after making your brains implode with some one-sided Zutara, some Aang angst, some Mai angst, and some Sokka/Toph nonsense, I have to apologize about the wait. I've been a little uninspired lately, mostly due to the wait for new episodes, but I'll try to update soon. I'm sorry it was a short chapter, though, but realize that there's nine more to go until the next part. Thanks for reading this far!
Things to Come: Mai begins to doubt Zuko's feelings for her after recieving his letter, and wonders if wishing for his arrival will lead to heartbreak. Meanwhile, Zuko and Katara reach the North Pole, and realize that Aang might have a fighting chance. And Toph takes on the challenge of writing a letter while preparing for the arrival of some unwelcome suitors...
