Here's the very last chapter of Rod Pattinhead and the Peen Saga we experienced. Thank you all who came on this ride with me, loved Rod as much as I did, and gave me delicious ideas for more. Thank you all who allowed me to write you into the story, I truly appreciate it and am honored that you trusted me to immortalize you in fanfiction.
XxTwilight CrystalxX - aka preciousfairymom80, you are amazing and thank you for beting all these chapters, cringing and laughing with me, throwing out little snippets and one liners here and there, and for being my best friend. You are an amazing woman and I can't wait to see you in 3.5 weeks for the Twilight Marathon and BD2!
I only own the plot and Rod Pattinhead, and all the love I have for each and every one of you!
Ramblings of a Whipped Peen Chapter 11 – End of the Road
"Rod, buddy," Edward said in his raspy voice, worn with age. "I think it's the end of the road for us."
I wanted to look up at him but I could only just lie there limply against his thigh as I sighed heavily. I just didn't have the energy to do anything, even the simple act of standing up was nearly impossible and happened only about once a month or so now. I was a sad, pathetic, old, wrinkly peen now.
But Hot Puss still loves me, even in her aged state, I told myself, trying to give myself an ego boost, and it worked too. I was pushing ninety, fucking ninety! That equated to seventy-five or so years of fucking, sucking, rocking the boat, and thrusting under my belt, or should I say brothers as I don't wear a belt? No matter what, I had a good, long run, but Edward still had life in him, as did Bella, and Hot Puss was still my puss. Yeah, she occasionally needed a little assistance in the moisture department, but what could I expect really? She was as gray as I was, nearly as old, and had been thoroughly loved by me for over half a century.
God, saying it like that makes me feel really old! Shit! I am really old! I'm an old peen!
I tried to shake that thought out of my head and focused instead on my accomplishments in life. My legacy had lived on, like seriously lived on. After Tanner, Masen and Bree ended up having four boys, Anthony, Charlie, Marcus, and Felix. And those boys definitely carried on my legacy. I think at first they were a bit weirded out to know that their grandpa had been a porn star, but then they realized that he knew all the best tricks and Edward and I had constant private conversations with my grandpeens about how to treat a woman and a puss properly while making her remember us forever.
Anthony ended up marrying a sweet puss named Claire and they gave me my first great-grandpeen, Samuel, and then a great-grandpuss, Leah. Tanner married a peen named James and they had a daughter named Victoria, my first great-grandpuss, and two sons, Tyler and Eric, great-grandpeens that helped carry on the Cullen and Rod Pattinhead legacy.
Charlie met a sweet little puss named Renee and they gave me a great-grandpeen they named after Edward and a great-grandpuss they named after Bella. They're currently expecting triplets, all boys, and are naming them after my other grandpeens, Anthony, Marcus, and Felix.
Marcus surprised all of us, but not in a bad way, when he came out that he was gay, and he met a wonderful peen named Aro who was actually an ex-porn star. They met when Aro was contracted through Cold Shower Studios while Marcus was managing it. Yeah, we kept the company in the family. Marcus and Aro decided to adopt three boys from Romania, brothers named Stefan, Vladimir, and Caius. All three eagerly took the Cullen name and I proudly bestowed my legacy upon them as well. You didn't have to be a Cullen by birth to be a Cullen in the heart and mind, and those three boys were definitely Cullens!
Finally, Felix met a vixen of a puss named Gianna, another porn star that had been contracted by Cold Shower Studios, and he shocked his mom, Puss-in-law, when he decided to join the industry too, in front of the camera instead of behind it. Felix and Gianna helped us bring out a new line of videos featuring pregnant women after Gianna was expecting and she and Felix made a home movie that was leaked somehow. Knowing my Grandpeen, he was the one that leaked the video. Yeah, he was proud of his wife and I had to admit that Edward and I sneaked a peek at a few of her films. She was a fine puss, but was nowhere near the level of Bella and Hot Puss.
Felix and Gianna had two children, a boy and a girl, Alec and Jane, and were expecting their third next month, another boy named Garrett.
With all those grand and great-grand pusses and peens running around, I sometimes had trouble keeping track of the numbers, but I added it up the other day when I was trying to stand up and needed a distraction. In total my legacy has stretched to become Junior and Puss-in-law, one grandpuss and four grandpeens, two grandpeens-in-law and three grandpusses-in-law, four great-grandpusses, and a whopping twelve great-grandpeens. Yeah, my legacy had branched out, retained control of Cold Shower Studios, and had even entered the business. Rod Pattinhead would live on forever through the peens and pusses of my descendents.
"Rod, you listening to me?" Edward spoke up again in his shaky voice. I chanced an attempted glance up at him, barely able to move, and Edward sighed at my lack of mobility. "I had hoped it would never come to this, but I have to do it. I hope you understand. The doctor said it was completely safe and that I shouldn't have any ill effects, but it still feels a bit wrong to have to go this route."
What in the hell are you talking about? I asked Edward and he reached behind him and picked up a white pill bottle, carefully twisted off the cap, and dumped a single blue, oval pill into his hand. Then he picked up a bottle of water and started to twist off the cap when I realized exactly what he was about to do.
No! No, Edward, don't do it! Don't take the pill, man! Come on, we don't need that to please Hot Puss and Bella. You still have your tongue and fingers and I can become a grinder instead of a thruster. I'm sure my wet noodle shaft can make some friction against Hot Puss's pleasure button. Please, man, I'm begging you. Don't drug me! Come on, Edward; say it with me, 'crack is whack!'
But Edward still didn't listen, and he finished uncapping the bottle of water, took a mouthful and tilted his head back as he lifted up the blue pill of medically enhanced erections, and dropped it in just as I screamed 'no' at him. But it was too late, the deed was done, and Edward was going to turn me into a junkie, I just knew it.
Thirty minutes later, Edward was still sitting on the bed, naked, and I was trying unsuccessfully to curl up in the fetal position to cry about being forced into drug use, when the strangest thing began to happen.
I felt this weird tingling sensation begin in my brothers and start working its way up my belly to my face. Edward must have noticed it too because his wrinkly, paper thin skin started to engulf me as he gripped me in the way I had become attuned to.
He slowly stroked me up and down, allowing the tingling sensation to spread further as I felt myself ballooning up to my former glory state. Holy fuck! The drugs are taking me over and I…I like it!
I was ashamed to admit that I was getting a damn spectacular rush off of the wacky crack Edward had forced upon me, but the thought of reliving my glory days with Hot Puss helped me push back the guilty feelings I was having from enjoying what was happening.
Five minutes later I was rock hard and raging for puss. I literally felt as if I was vibrating with the desire to go forth and conquer Hot Puss. And if I had my foreskin I would have pulled it halfway over my head and marched around the room talking like Beavis as I shouted out I am Rod Pattinhead! I need Hot Puss for my ejaculate!
I think I might have said it out loud, because Hot Puss and Bella walked slowly into the room just as I was beginning to bob with excitement. Bella looked pleased at finding Edward stroking me in my upright state and she crossed the room and slowly stripped down before sliding onto the bed.
Edward rolled over carefully, finally releasing me and I immediately missed the contact to my tingly body, but I didn't have to wait long for more because he grabbed the lube from the bedside table, oiled up Hot Puss so she wouldn't be rusty, and then slid me in with ease.
At our age, there was no rough sex, hard fucking, or fast paces, but the slow, steady rhythm we set was more than enough for Edward and Bella to enjoy themselves and Hot Puss and me to get off. After orphaning my swimmers into the barren Hot Puss, Edward slowly rolled off and curled up next to Bella, pulling her frail body into his arms and I nestled up against a sated and sighing Hot Puss.
"I love you, Edward," Bella murmured sleepily and Edward returned the sentiment before they fell into the midday sleep they had earned at their age and activity level.
I was still a bit stiff, but knew that it was the drugs doing it so I just tried to lie against Hot Puss and ride out the juice. And as I began to drift off to sleep, I realized that crack may be whack, but it helped me get my groove back, and that was all that mattered because it meant that Rod Pattinhead kept his Hot Puss happy.
I may be an old, wrinkly peen that has fallen and can't get up without drugs, but my Hot Puss was happy, our hosts were still very much in love, and my legacy was stretching on and spreading to conquer the world. Yeah, I've had a great life and I know that the last of my years will be even better with the help of Edward's new wonder drugs and a happy Bella and Hot Puss by our side.
Just before sleep fully claimed me, I leaned over to kiss Hot Puss on the lips and quickly tag my puss with my signature call sign… Rod was here!
THE END
Awww! Rod's over! There will be no more outtakes, futuretakes, or anything else. And I"m going to finish up my last WIP Hear Me and then quietly slip out of the fanfiction arena. I'm moving on to write original fiction and would be honored if even one of you felt my writing enjoyable enough to purchase. Thank you all for coming on this ride, laughing, cringing, and blushing with me, and for keeping Rod in a special little place in your heart. He loves you all nearly as much as I do. Thank you.
