Chapter 11. Throw-Down at Roni's!
At Gothel's command; both women took a fighting stance. Then Roni – who never took her eyes off of Dr. Smith – said, "Hey, wait a moment!"
"Giving up so soon?" said June Harris anxiously, unable to conceal the relief in her voice.
"You wish . . . ," sassed Roni, who then continued, "Lucy, I want you to take Will back into the kitchen and close the door. One of us will come for you when the fight is over. I don't want Will to see anything that he . . . shouldn't . . . ."
"I – I won't leave you, Roni!" said Lucy.
"And I'm not afraid of a little blood," added Will, who looked directly at Dr. Smith.
"That's not what I'm concerned about," said Roni with a wan smile. "You see, I wasn't planning to take off my jacket, today, much less get into a fight with this Asajj Ventress wannabee, here.
"Otherwise, I wouldn't have worn a tank-top without a bra . . . ."
Without further comment, Lucy took Will's hand, and quickly led the boy back to the kitchen. The Robot dutifully followed the two eleven-year-olds.
Roni then glanced quickly in the direction of The Doctor and the two Hyperion Heights Detectives, and added, "And that probably should go for the three of you Gentlemen, too . . . .
"In fact, maybe everyone should wait in the kitchen where you'll all be out of our way. I don't want anyone – especially Judy and Penny – to get hurt by accident. And I have a feeling that Smith and I are going to need all the room we can get!"
"I'm staying," said Gothel flatly. "I want to be certain that the rules we agreed upon are followed."
"I can respect Roni's wishes," said The Doctor, with both detectives nodding in agreement. "But Mother Gothel makes a good point about ensuring that this is a fair fight – or, at least that none of the rules are violated.
"Maybe I can pop-over to where I left Romana, bring her up to speed, and have her watch as the Science Fiction observer." I definitely must put regenerating as a woman on my to-do list, someday . . . , thought The Doctor.
"You're stalling, Doctor," snarled Gothel.
Penny said, "Then I'll stay. Roni doesn't have anything that I haven't already got. Besides, I want to see Ms. Harris get what's coming to her, after all she put us through . . . ."
Judy said, "No, I'll do it. Besides, I'm a doctor. I may be needed professionally when Roni's done wiping the floor with Ms. Harris." Judy jerked her head in the direction of the First Aid Kit mounted on the wall behind Roni's bar.
Detective Weaver raised an eyebrow. "You look pretty young to be a doctor, Dearie. You set some kind of record, then?"
"Not even close," said Judy. "In our world, one of the doctors who trained me, Dr. Douglas Howser, got his degree when he was three years younger than me, about 60 years earlier; a record that still stands."
"Enough stalling!" said Gothel impatiently. "You will fight now, or my offer is withdrawn!"
Without any further comment, the three men and Penny Robinson joined Lucy, Will and The Robot in the kitchen, leaving only Roni, June, Gothel and Judy Robinson in the barroom.
Somewhat absentmindedly, June Harris lamented at the thought of what the brawl would do to her designer outfit. Ruin it, probably. Oh, well, it's not like she couldn't afford a new one; much less didn't already have any other expensive, designer outfits in the closet of her luxury condo.
And she fully intended to return to her luxury condo; confident that- without weapons or magic - anything that this Fairy Tale slut could do to her would eventually heal. And if worst came to worst, plastic surgery was always an option for an independent lady of means, such as herself; a position that she intended to maintain by any means necessary . . . .
June regarded her opponent in her off-the-rack, discount store-brand denim jeans and tank-top, and shook her head. In truth, this ensemble was probably better suited for an impromptu fight than what she was currently wearing, herself, (and would undoubtedly be cheaper to replace.) But on the plus side, it provided good fodder for a quick, pre-fight put-down.
With a genteel snort, Dr. Smith dryly quipped, "Nice tank-top, Roni. Doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it, Roni? And here I half-expected you to have a belly-ring and a tramp-stamp to go with it."
Roni sassed back: "The only tramp getting stamped around here is you!"
Judy snickered in spite of herself. But Gothel growled, "Fight!"
And then it began . . . .
In the kitchen, nobody spoke. Will checked his phone for the time as Lucy gave him a comforting look. But before Will could reply to his friend's gesture, a loud "bang" coming from the other side of the closed kitchen door startled everyone.
Lucy gasped and moved closer to Will. She took his hand, and in exchange for her squeeze of comfort, the boy gave her hand a gentle, return-squeeze of pure gratitude.
Will said, "That was probably Dr. Smith getting thrown against the wall! Roni looks pretty tough!"
Penny came behind her brother and his friend, putting her hands on their shoulders. "Roni may be tough. But Ms. Harris is a total psycho! She won't fight fair!"
Detective Weaver said, "Don't worry, Dearie. I have a feeling that Mother Gothel will enforce a fair fight, and your sister is watching, too." Another loud, crashing noise made everyone jump. Then Weaver continued. "However psychotic this June Harris may be, she won't get much of an opportunity to cheat."
"Aye," said Detective Rogers. "And that will give the advantage to Roni!" The Doctor nodded in agreement, but said nothing.
Though everyone tried to reassure Lucy, Will and Penny that everything would be alright, another loud, slamming noise from the other side of the wall made everyone tense anew. Penny gasped in horror. Lucy glanced sideways towards Will, who looked like he was on the verge of crying. But Lucy knew exactly what she needed to say.
"There is one more thing you all need to remember," said Lucy, chiefly to Will, but to everyone else in the kitchen, as well. "You may be from a Science Fiction Realm. But we're in a Fairy Tale!
"Roni needs more than just our support. She needs our hope, as well! We need to hold on to the belief that a Happy Ending IS possible! That the woman fighting for our lives and our happiness will triumph against the one who is fighting to take them away from us for her own benefit!
"I don't know how it works in the Science Fiction Realms. But in Fairy Tale Realms; hope is the most powerful, non-magical force there is."
Now Penny was almost in tears, herself. "But Roni's fighting a psychopath! She could get killed and we could be stuck here, forever! We need to do something!"
Lucy never let go of Will's hand, but turned to face both him and his sister. "This is NOT the time for "Science Fiction Damage-Control Mode!" To help Roni, we need to hold on to the hope that she will prevail against Dr. Smith! ANY thought of Roni being defeated is NOT an option!"
Now, The Doctor spoke. "Penny, Will, we are not on a starship with failing navigational deflectors that's heading into an asteroid field. In a situation like that, hope alone is useless. You need to take action to get the deflectors back online to avoid a collision.
"But this isn't a starship in an asteroid field. Hyperion Heights is a Fairy Tale Realm. For Roni to triumph against her opponent, you need to bolster her with your hope and truly believe that she will be the victor!"
"Is that what Fairy Tales teach?" said Penny. "That hope conquers all? Even against monsters like Dr. Smith?"
The Doctor smiled warmly. "I'm reminded of a quote from an Earthman named G. K. Chesterton, who famously said that, "Fairy Tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy Tales tell children that dragons can be killed."
Again, a loud noise came from the direction of the barroom. This time, nobody jumped. Penny said, "So, if we hope and believe that Roni can beat Ms. Harris; then she will do it . . . ?"
Lucy smiled, and said, "It's more basic than that, Penny. "No matter what happens, no matter how dark things look at the moment; never let go of hope! Even the belief in the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing!"
Will smiled the way only an eleven-year-old boy can, and said, "I believe that Roni will win, and not only will she be alright; we'll get to go home!"
Penny was about to say something similar, but was overwhelmed by the sudden silence from the other side of the door. A fraction of a second later, everyone else in the kitchen sensed it, too. Nobody spoke. The only sounds were coming from the refrigerator compressor in the kitchen.
After what seemed like ages, Penny once again tried to voice her sentiment, but stopped short when a sound came from the other side of the door. Someone knocked on the door softly, three times, and then said, "Penny? Will?" And then, whoever was knocking repeated this routine two more times when nobody immediately answered the door.
Somewhat absentmindedly, Penny realized that she had heard this kind of knock, before. A few years ago, before her family left Earth for Alpha Centauri, Penny had some done volunteer work in the dining room of a local retirement community. For some reason, upon learning her name was "Penny," some of the elderly retirees thought it was amusing to get her attention by knocking three times on their tables, and calling her by name – always repeating this ritual three times.
Now, thanks to Gothel's curse and her time in Hyperion Heights in the past, she finally knew that the gag came from an old TV show that was popular when they were her age . . . .
Then, she recognized the voice on the other side of the door. Squealing with glee, Penny said, "It's Judy! Judy! Judy!"
The door opened, and Judy came in, holding the First Aid Kit, and said, "It's over. Roni won. We're all going home. Everyone please come back to the barroom with me . . . ."
Lucy squeezed Will's hand, and they both smiled. Penny gave her brother and his friend a big hug.
But then Judy added somberly, "They beat themselves up pretty badly. I may need some help.
"Oh, and Penny? In the future, I won't imitate Jim Parsons, anymore, if you promise not to imitate Carey Grant - or worse; Jim Neighbors, imitating Carey Grant – even if Carey Grant never really said it."
"Who're they?" said Penny as they filed down the short corridor from the kitchen to the barroom.
"Proof that you need to watch more classic TV, or you'll miss a lot of cultural references," said Judy dryly. "Wouldn't want anyone to think you're uncultured, do you?" The two sisters exchanged smiles.
When everyone got to the barroom, they saw Roni and June Harris sitting at separate tables away from each other; obviously battered, but very much alive. Both women looked disheveled, and though their clothes were stained, they were not torn – despite after what was undoubtedly a vicious fight.
Gothel, who was standing in the middle of the room between the two women, watched as everyone else came back into the barroom; her expression was unreadable. But the same was not true of the two women who had just fought.
June Harris was holding a bloody dishrag to her face. Her left eye was blackened and swollen. Her nose was bloodied, possibly broken.
Roni, who was being attended by Judy, had various cuts and bruises, but appeared to be in good spirits, though she seemed to have trouble breathing. Roni smiled when she saw Lucy, Will and Penny come to her side. "Hey, you three," said Roni with a slight wince. "I thought . . . that would . . . never end. But it looks like . . . you're going . . . home!"
At Roni's comment, Will checked his phone and blinked. Though it seemed like it had gone on for a very long time; the entire fight had lasted less than two minutes!
Penny said, "Thank you, Roni! I could just hug you!"
Still smiling, Roni held up a hand, and said, "You're welcome. But I'll . . . have to take a . . . rain-check on that . . . hug, Penny. Your sister thinks . . . I have a . . . cracked rib . . . possibly two . . . ."
Lucy said, "Will Roni be alright, Judy?"
"She'll need proper medical treatment at a clinic or hospital," said Judy. "For now, we need to get some ice on it to help reduce the swelling." Judy turned to Will and Lucy. "See if you can find some ice in the kitchen, and some plastic bags to make an icepack."
"W-what about me?" said June from the other table. "I'm injured, too!"
"I'll be there as soon as I get Roni taken care of," said Judy. "Your injuries are less severe than Roni's, Ms. Harris."
"B-but, I'm in severe pain, Judy – Dr. Robinson!" whined June. "Oh, the pain! The pain . . . !" She looked up at Judy as best as she could through her swollen eye, and added with raw accusation, "You're just being vindictive! Vindictive, sadistic, and passive-aggressive to me because of what Gothel made me do to you and your siblings to keep my good life in this world!"
"I examined you both, before bringing in the others," said Judy evenly, not looking up as she carefully examined Roni's cracked ribcage. "I determined that Roni's injuries were more severe than yours are.
"That is not in any way "vindictive," sadistic," or "passive-aggressive," Ms. Harris; that's standard triage protocol. You'd know that if you were a real doctor . . . ."
When Will and Lucy came back with the icepacks, Judy carefully placed them against Roni's side. Judy said, "There, Roni. Does that feel any better? Does it hurt as bad as before?"
Roni forced a smile and a sigh, and said, "Only when . . . I try to breathe." The former Evil Queen rolled her eyes. "Funny. It didn't hurt . . . half as bad . . . a few moments ago . . . when I had her . . . in a Half-Nelson . . . to force her . . . to yield.
"Let's . . . just say . . . that June Harris . . . is not . . . exactly . . . Ronda Rousey. But . . . between you and me . . . I don't know . . . how much longer . . . I could have lasted . . . ."
"We believed in you, Roni!" said Will. "We hoped that you would win, and held onto that hope! And you did win!"
Despite her pain, Roni's smile grew broader. "That tends to . . . be the way . . . things work . . . around here!"
The Doctor turned to the stony-faced Gothel, and said, "Are you satisfied with the outcome, Mother Gothel?" Somewhat grudgingly, Gothel nodded. The Doctor then turned to the Robinson Siblings, and said, "Right. Then we'd all better be on our way. And that includes you too, Dr. Smith.
"And Mother Gothel? In the future, please at least consider posting "No Trespassing" signs and putting up some manner of fencing around your garden. It might save everyone a lot of needless trouble down the line . . . ."
"P-please," said June Harris. "I'm injured badly! I can't go back to my Native Realm, now. I really should be going to the hospital, like Roni! I should be allowed to stay until I've recovered. It's only humane!"
"You must leave with the Robinson Siblings," Gothel said firmly. "You are no longer needed, nor welcome, here!"
"But . . . I'm injured!"
"Not to worry," said The Doctor jovially. "I can patch you up good as new in the TARDIS' Medical Bay, just before your memory edit. Trust me; you'll neither feel nor remember a thing!"
Judy gave Roni another quick once-over, and said, "Maybe it would be a good idea for you to treat Roni, too? I'm guessing the med tech on your ship is much better than anything on early 21st Century Earth."
"I forbid it!" snarled Gothel. "I won't take any chances that you might also perform any, shall we say, 'enhancements' on the Evil Queen that might assist her when she and I eventually do battle.
You Science Fiction people have been known to do things like that . . . ."
The Doctor turned to Judy, and sighed. "I'm afraid not, Dr. Robinson. It seems that this would have the potential to cause another Inter-Genre Incident."
"The . . . Hyperion Heights . . . Hospital . . . is good enough," said Roni through gritted teeth. "Don't worry about me. I have . . . good health insurance . . . ."
Detective Weaver nodded, and said, "Rogers and I will take Roni and Lucy to the hospital. Once we get Roni settled in, we'll call Henry to give Lucy a ride back to her home."
"And speaking of a ride back home," said The Doctor. "I think we'd all best be on our way, now. The sooner we get this over with, the better it will be for everyone involved."
Sighing with resignation, June Harris stood with an exaggerated effort that made everyone's eyes roll. Even The Robot's swirling face-pattern seemed to be making an eye roll.
"Alright, alright," said June evenly. "I'm coming. Just let me get my jacket. Prada, you know . . . ."
June picked up her jacket, draping it over her left arm. Whatever else happened, she fully intended to remain in this world. And she still had one more card up her sleeve (or, more accurately, in her jacket pocket,) to play . . . .
