Some Where I Belong

Chapter 11

I hate this part right here

Cloud lay in the hospital bed listless. He stared up blankly at the ceiling without blinking, it had been this way since he'd arrived and Zack hadn't come to visit him yet...not once. Angeal informed Zack that Cloud had been in the hospital and Zack really wanted to come and visit Cloud, but he's been so caught up in school and sports lately that he didn't have the time. Cloud didn't blame him; he knew that he wasn't important. / I'm nothing. /Cloud thought as he continued staring up at the ceiling. Angeal comes and visits him weekly, which is of great comfort to Cloud, Yazoo also stops weekly. Cloud was relieved that Yazoo was ok, he was so worried. He did have a few braces on his legs and stomach, but overall Yazoo was doing well. Sephiroth came around once, but it was just to fill out paper work and talk with the doctors. Angeal had Sephiroth contact the police the day Cloud was admitted to the hospital and as of now they were on the search for his rapist. Cloud felt a single tear roll down his cheek as he thought back on the event. He felt broken.

/My life seems to be going on without me, if that makes any sense at all. These days in the hospital, these calm unchanging days...It feels like I'm living in a constant haze or fog. I can't feel anything. Nothing physical and very little emotion. Almost as if I'm becoming numb. I have no feeling. As I lay here and rot, everyone else in the world is prospering and living their lives. And for so very long.../

Cloud turned his head slowly and looked towards the window. / I've wanted...to live too. /

/ I've been examined for evidence of the crime and the police have come and tried talking with me, but I haven't said a word since I've been here. Not one. I can't speak, I've tried to utter a word, but nothing comes out. I've lost my freedom of speech, I've lost my voice. Did I ever even have a voice? I don't think I ever did. Even if I could speak...no one would listen, no one would care. Who wants to hear my voice anyway? /

/ The doctor had told me earlier today that a psychiatrist was coming to see me. I'm dreading the very thought. I don't want anyone trying to get inside my head and break me down. Can't they see I'm already broken? I've been violated enough! If nothing else, leave me my mind. Let me have something left to hold on to. /

Cloud closed his eyes, he felt like hell. The days dragged on and nothing changed, nor did the healing process. Cloud heard the door open and saw the doctor walk in. The doctor walked over to Cloud and said. "Cloud, the psychiatrist is here to see you. I hope you cooperate." He remained silent and the doctor sighed, he walked out of the room and in walked a tall, lean man with dark hair. He took a seat next to the hospital bed.

"Hello, Cloud. My name is Dr. Luthen and I have been assigned to talk to you. It seems that there have been some traumatic events in your life recently and I'd like to talk about them with you. If that's ok?"

"..."

He looked at a file. "It appears that you haven't spoken a word since you've been here. I don't think it's because you've lost the ability to speak, I just think it's reluctance."

Cloud felt it; he felt the pressure being brought upon him. He knew that he was trying to get to him, he knew he wanted him to break down. But, Cloud refused. "It'll make it much easier on yourself if you'd just speak up now. If we're to make any progress, it should be made quickly. The more reluctant you are, the more time we'll have to spend together."

"..." / Leave me alone. /

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"..."

"How about I start, maybe this will get a reaction. So, how's your relationship with your boyfriend?"

Cloud stiffened and made an attempt to speak, but stopped himself. / H-how does he know about Zack? /

"I see, that got you thinking. Does it make you feel bad that he hasn't come to visit you? If you're not going to say anything, at least nod your head." Dr. Luthen suggested.

Cloud nodded his head yes and the doctor wrote something down. "Do you think it's because he doesn't care about you?'

He nodded yes.

"I see you have some self-esteem issues." Dr. Luthen pointed out.

/Obviously. / Cloud thought.

"I've been informed that you've tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago and if this is true, you should've been hospitalized weeks ago. But, obviously you failed." Dr. Luthen pointed out.

Cloud shifted his hand into a fist.

"Tell me, was this failed attempt at suicide because of your boyfriend? Unrequited love, perhaps?"

Cloud felt the words sting. It isn't unrequited love is it? Zack does like him, but he doesn't love him. So would it be considered unrequited love? No, he wasn't going to let this guy get to him, but still...will Zack ever love him? When Cloud didn't give a response, Dr. Luthen said, "So, I'm assuming that's why. I'm also assuming you must not think you're good enough for him. Which leads to your eating disorder, the doctor has informed me your body's in bad condition and shows signs of starvation. Do you think if you perfect yourself, he'll love you then?"

Cloud hesitated slowly, but nodded yes.

"You know, if this guy really cares about you, it shouldn't matter how you look. I don't think he's the problem. I think that you've been self-destructive long before you've had this boyfriend. Which leads us further back. Family problems must be the cause." Dr. Luthen concluded.

/ How can he know so much when I haven't said a word? Is he that clever or has he talked to someone I'm close to? /

"It says here you live with your mother, older brother and three younger brothers, is that correct?" He asked.

/ No, my mother abandoned us. / Cloud nodded yes.

"Are you struggling financially that you can't afford food? Or is this a case of neglect and abuse? Judging from your older brother Sephiroth's appearance and ownership of a car, I'm guessing money isn't a big problem."

/ You don't even know the half of it, he only looks good and has a car because he's selfish and spoils himself. / Cloud shook his head yes.

"So it's not?"

Cloud shook his head no.

"So it's neglect. Does your mother mistreat you or do you just refuse to eat?" Dr. Luthen asked.

Cloud shook his head no.

"Neither? Well, it has to be one and I doubt it's your mother. I honestly think it's all you. You're the only one creating your personal hell. It's no one else's doing, you've done this to yourself." Dr. Luthen concluded.

/ Stop it...Stop it! I don't want to hear another word of it. Not another word. My life is hell, but I can't be responsible right? The world is plaguing me; I'm not plaguing the world. I am not the attacker, I'm the victim. Everyone thrives on watching me suffer, they all want me to fail, they want to see me at my lowest, so I can't get back up. It's all one big conspiracy. /

"It's time to make some changes isn't it? Well, this was a nice session. See you same time tomorrow? Of course. Goodbye, Cloud." Dr. Luthen put away his notes and left out the door. Cloud then slammed his fist on the bed railing. / I've got to get out of here. /

"Get in the damn car!" Sephiroth yelled, giving his brothers death glares. Kadaj was getting annoyed. "Will you shut the fuck up and wait! Damn, Sephiroth you whine like a little bitch!" He quickly covered his mouth when he realized what he had just said. Sephiroth then grabbed Kadaj by the hair almost ripping it out and threw him in the backseat. "Sit your ass down! Next time you talk to me like that, I'll rip out the hair on your scalp, bitch! Get in the car Loz and Yazoo!" Loz then walked out of the house and sighed. "I would get in the car, but Kadaj's big ass is taking up all the space!" Kadaj then launched himself out of the backseat and attacked Loz. "What bitch!? What?!" Kadaj yelled punching Loz. Sephiroth was losing it. "BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET IN THE DAMN CAR!" Loz and Kadaj immediately froze and scrambled into the backseat. "Shit!" Sephiroth yelled.

Yazoo then walked out of the house limping a little, wearing heels, a short black skirt and a black shirt rimmed with lace. Sephiroth stared mouth opened. "What are you wearing?!" Yazoo flipped his hair and got in the front seat. "Something fabulous." Kadaj rolled his eyes and Loz said. "You look like a prostitute." Yazoo smirked. "Gettin' boys is how I live. I see nothing wrong with spreading myself around." Sephiroth then sat in the driver's seat and shut the door. "Are you getting paid?" Yazoo smiled. "Hell yeah." Sephiroth smirked. "Good bitch." Loz whined in the backseat. "Where are we going?!" Sephiroth then backed out of the drive way. "To see Cloud, dammit!" Kadaj then asked. "Why?" Sephiroth clenched the wheel. "To make it look like we give a damn, which we don't." Yazoo looked at Sephiroth. "I give a damn." Kadaj then kicked Yazoo's seat. "Who cares?!" Yazoo then turned around viciously. "Kick my seat again, bitch and watch what happens! Kick it! Come on, bitch!" Kadaj was about to kick it when Loz stopped him. "Seriously, just don't." Kadaj slouched and crossed his arms. Yazoo flipped his hair. "That's right, bitch."

"When we get to the hospital, act as normal and caring as possible, but don't look too suspicious either, hoes." Sephiroth commanded.

"Fine, but I'm not wiping his ass." Kadaj added.

"Shut the fuck up, Kadaj!" Yazoo demanded.

"I'm hungry!" Loz whined.

"You bitches are too much!" Sephiroth yelled.

Eventually, they pulled up to the hospital and parked. They got out and walked inside the hospital doors to the lobby. Kadaj quickly began running up the stairs to the floor Cloud was on and Loz followed. Sephiroth then began walking up the stairs slowly, but stopped and turned to look back at Yazoo. "What the hell are you doing?" Yazoo then pressed the button for the elevator. "There's no way I'm walking up those stairs in these heels, hell no." The doors opened and he happily walked in. Sephiroth rolled his eyes and continued walking. All four reached Cloud's floor and walked down the hallway. Sephiroth then turned to his brothers. "Ok, who wants to see him, because I don't." Yazoo pushed past Sephiroth and walked into Cloud's room.

Cloud lay there still staring at the ceiling, but his face was filled with frustration. You could tell he was having an internal struggle. He didn't know what to do, the anger, the sadness, the stress, it was getting to him. So much so that he was at the point of collapse. His heart was racing. Yazoo quickly made his way to Cloud and held his hand. "Hey, it's ok." Cloud's eyes shifted and turned to Yazoo. His eyes were filled with concern and compassion. Cloud wanted to say something, but hesitated. He could confide in Yazoo, right? He could talk to Yazoo, but... / I feel so weak. /

"How are you feeling?" Yazoo asked smiling warmly.

Cloud sighed and couldn't help but feel the warmth overcome him. "O-ok...I guess."

Yazoo's smile widened. "It's nice to hear your voice again."

Cloud looked at Yazoo. "I like your outfit."

Yazoo giggled. "Thanks."

They stayed talking for awhile and Cloud told Yazoo all about his session with Dr. Luthen and how horrible it had been. He also told him how Zack hadn't visited him not once. Yazoo sighed. "Seriously, you should lose this guy, Cloud. I know you care about him and all, but it seems like he doesn't care about you as much as you care for him." Cloud felt his heart start pounding. "But I love him." He pleaded. Yazoo nodded. "I know, Cloud. I know. Just don't expect much from him. He's very selfish. No matter what anyone says, I know he is." Cloud shook his head. "I understand though. I know I'm not special, but I'm ok, right?" Yazoo looked at Cloud sadly. "Cloud, don't say that. You're very special."

"Not to Zack." Cloud replied.

"Fuck Zack." Yazoo said viciously.

Cloud gave him a confused look. "Yazoo?"

"Fuck Zack. Don't let some guy make you feel like you're nothing. Men are stupid, Zack's no different." Yazoo stated.

"What about Genesis?" Cloud asked.

Yazoo flipped his hair. "He may be one fine piece of ass, but that doesn't make him smart. Well...yeah he's pretty clever and witty, but he's still stupid. Because, well you know he's a guy."

"We're guys too Yazoo."

"No not really." Yazoo smirked.

Cloud sighed. "He could've at least sent me flowers."

"And Genesis could've kept it in his pants." Yazoo laughed and Cloud shook his head. "You're dirty." Yazoo nodded. "And I love it."

"Is everyone else here?" Cloud asked.

Yazoo nodded. "Yeah, but they're being bitches so they stayed outside. The investigation's going well I've heard, but they want to meet with mother. The police want to come over sometime this week."

"Mother..." Cloud thought. / What are we supposed to do now? She's been gone for years. Sometimes I even forget what she looked liked, how are we going to pull this off? /

"Genesis volunteered to disguise himself as mother." Yazoo giggled. "Though, I have my doubts it'll work. Genesis is too charming to be a woman."

Cloud shook his head. "I'm not sure if we can pull off this perfect family image, Yazoo."

"We don't have to be perfect. We have to be decent." Yazoo replied.

"I guess."

Yazoo looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed. "Well, we should get going. We're going to be late to school. Not that I care really, but I'm seeing if I can get there early and beat the hell out of Sam."

Cloud shook his head. "That's not wise Yazoo. You're still healing, you're just going to get hurt, or worse."

"I don't care if I was in a wheel chair, I'd still find a way to kick his ass." Yazoo replied.

"What happened to decency?" Cloud asked.

Yazoo shrugged. "Fuck it. Well, I'll see later, ok?" He said standing up and taking Cloud's hand. Cloud looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't leave me." Yazoo shook his head. "I'm sorry, I have to, but I'll be back." Cloud protested. "But I can't stay here, Yazoo. I can't! I can't take another session with Dr. Luthen, I can't take staring at these white walls any longer, it's killing me." Yazoo then replied. "But it's for the best. You look healthy since you've been here and it's safer here, until we get things sorted out, Cloud. I don't want to see you here either, but I couldn't take you out even if I wanted to. It's Mother's decision, but ultimately Sephiroth's forged signature."

Cloud sighed, pained. "I want to die."

"Don't say that. The faster you make progress, the faster you leave, ok?" Yazoo then hugged Cloud. "Bye."

"Bye..." Cloud whispered.

Cloud felt himself on the verge of tears as Yazoo walked out.

"Get out!" Sephiroth yelled as he parked in the student parking lot. Loz and Kadaj hurried and jumped out, while Yazoo stepped out slowly. The bell had just rung when they arrived so their timing wasn't that bad. "Alright, don't get your asses kicked today." Were Sephiroth's parting words as he walked away from his brothers. Yazoo shrugged and walked into the school and almost immediately spotted Zack walking down the hall. He quickened his pace and got up with him. "Hey!" Zack turned around and saw Yazoo heading towards him. "Woah, woah. Easy now." Zack said backing up. "Why the hell haven't you come to see Cloud?" Zack shrugged. "I've been busy with school and sports." "Fuck school and sports! You're going to come visit Cloud soon bitch or I'm taking your ass down!"

"Hey, I was planning on visiting him today, alright?" Zack replied.

"You should have visited him sooner; you don't know how he's feeling right now. I bet you don't even know what happened to him." Yazoo stated.

Zack pondered. "Well, Angeal told me that he had gotten sick."

"He hasn't gotten sick, he's been sick. Not only that, but you lack the other details of what's happened." Yazoo replied.

"What do you mean something else happened?" Zack asked.

Yazoo looked down and bit his lip. "Well, it's not really my place to say."

"Not your place?" Zack questioned.

"You should ask Cloud yourself when you see him. I doubt Angeal would be able to tell you. And you can't ask Sephiroth or Genesis, because they'd come off too cold hearted." Yazoo informed him.

"So you all know?" Zack asked.

Yazoo nodded and Zack sighed. "I'm going to see Cloud after school and find out what's going on." He then turned away from Yazoo and began walking down the hall. "You better!" Yazoo yelled after him. Yazoo watched as Zack walked into his class and shook his head. "He better come." Yazoo turned and started walking to class when he felt someone pull him by his arm. He froze and clenched his fist ready to swing, but he turned and saw a familiar face. Genesis grabbed him and pulled him into one of school's closets and shut the door. "Genesis." Yazoo smiled softly. "How are you feeling?" Genesis asked. Yazoo smiled and nodded. "Better." Genesis nodded. "That's good." Genesis said and kissed Yazoo on the lips. "You look very tempting today. What's the occasion?" Yazoo shrugged. "Nothing special. I look tempting every day." Genesis smirked. "How about we meet up after school? I'll take you out somewhere nice and then we can head back to my place." Yazoo smiled and nodded. "I'd like that." Genesis nodded. "Ok, I'll see you then." He kissed Yazoo once more and walked out. Yazoo smiled and sat down in the closet, he didn't feel like going to class.

Vincent stared blankly at the board; he sighed and shook his head. He couldn't stop thinking about Yazoo. Leon looked at him. "Hey, what's wrong?" Vincent shook his head. "Nothing, I'm just having trouble staying awake." Leon nodded. "Same here, Reno and I hit this crazy party last night. I was barely able to get up this morning." Leon looked around the room and locked eyes with Yuffie and winked. She giggled and looked away. Reno then turned around grinning. "That was a great party. So many hot girls." He then started to drool at the memory. Leon smirked and Vincent spotted Zack. He then asked Leon. "Leon, how long are we going to stay mad at Zack?" Leon looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Don't you think we should talk to him? I mean, he never did anything wrong." Vincent pointed out.

"Dude, he's all gaga over strife, do you honestly think that's right?" Leon asked.

"Boobs..." Reno said aloud staring off nowhere in particular.

"Well, everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with." Vincent replied.

"Vincent, it's CLOUD we're talking about here. Don't you get it?" Leon asked.

"Beer..." Reno smiled.

"What's wrong with Cloud?" Vincent asked.

"Everything! He's a walking combination of every personality disorder there is!" Leon pointed out.

"Ponies...wait what?" Reno pondered.

"Or is it just that Cloud's a guy that bothers you?" Vincent asked.

"What?" Leon looked at him questioningly.

"Oh come on, Leon. I know you can't stand that Zack's gay." Vincent reminded him.

"Zack is not gay. Or at least he wasn't until Cloud came around." Leon snorted.

"You guys are crazy." Reno said.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay." Vincent stated.

"What are you trying to say Vincent? Leon questioned.

"That we shouldn't stop talking to Zack just because he's gay. He's our friend." Vincent said.

"Whatever." Leon said turning away from him. Vincent looked to Reno for back up, but he just shrugged and looked away. "I think Cloud's nice." Vincent said. Leon turned back around looking at Vincent. "Whose side are you on anyway?" Vincent looked down. "I just think we should all be friends again. Cloud seems like a nice guy." Leon rolled his eyes. "Come on, Vincent! Do you know who he's related to? Sephiroth! Obviously, there's something wrong with that family." Vincent looked at him. "Every family has its problems." Leon shook his head. "Not like the Strife brothers. Kadaj and Loz run around like psychos and Yazoo is not only practically a prostitute, but he's mentally insane!" Vincent gave him a sharp look. "Don't talk about Yazoo like that."

"What?" Leon asked.

"Don't talk about people you don't know." Vincent said.

"Your acting really strange today, you know that Vincent?" Leon pointed out.

Vincent turned away from him and went back to looking at the board. Zack sat quietly, secretly listening in on their conversation. So Vincent really wanted to talk to him? That was a comforting thought. Hopefully, Leon and Reno would come around eventually too. Lunch with Angeal isn't that enjoyable, especially since Sephiroth and Genesis are there. He sighed and thought of Cloud. It had been awhile since he had seen the tortured blonde, and he had to admit that he did miss him. Hospital life must be horrible for him, but it's for the best though, right? Just what else had happened that's keeping him there? He would find out today when he goes to visit the blonde.

"Tie him down!" The doctor yelled. The nurses each grabbed an arm and a leg and held Cloud down. He squirmed and tossed and turned, trying to break free.

Cloud calm down!" The doctor shouted and the nurses began to tie Cloud down to the bed. I don't want to be here!" Cloud cried in desperation. He couldn't take another second staring at these white walls; they were driving him absolutely insane. The doctor then pulled out a needle and said. "Now Cloud, time to say good night." He then stuck the needle into his arm and Cloud's eyes and his body relaxed. The doctor and nurses sighed. "Sephiroth will be informed about this. Maybe, he needs to be in a mental asylum instead."

Sephiroth sat at lunch with a large group of people talking about his week day activity. Angeal and Genesis arrived and both sat on each side of Sephiroth. "So, I was like Bitch please! Like I would be caught dead dating you, just talking to you is bad for my image." The group then erupted in laughter and Sephiroth added. "But then I said, maybe you could be my doormat, because I've been needing a new one." The group continued to laugh and Angeal shook his head. "You're so cold-hearted." Sephiroth smirked. "And I love it." Sephiroth then brushed Genesis' cheeks with the tip of his fingers. "You love it, don't you good looking?" Genesis nodded. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Sephiroth grinned. "Kiss me." Genesis hesitated and looked back to see Yazoo sitting at a lunch table with Kadaj and Loz not paying attention. He then leaned in slyly and kissed Sephiroth. "Mm, your heart maybe be cold, but your lips are warm." Sephiroth flipped his hair back. "Oh, Genesis your such the charmer." He then looked at Angeal. "How about you?" Angeal shook his head. "I'm not kissing you."

"Why not amazing in bed Angeal?" Sephiroth challenged.

Angeal choked a little on his food and looked at him. "What?"

"Don't act ignorant, you know you are." Sephiroth looked at him smugly. "Now kiss me before I get into details."

Defeated, he quickly kissed Sephiroth and pulled away. Sephiroth smirked. "That's right, Angeal. I know you wanna make love to me."

Angeal sighed and shook his head; sometimes Sephiroth could be so ridiculous. Yazoo watched Sephiroth from across the room and raised his eye brow. "I didn't know Sephy and Angeal are hooking up." Kadaj shook his head. "They're not, Sephiroth just likes to play with him for his own amusement." Yazoo smiled. "Oh." He then turned and looked at Loz, who seemed to be preoccupied. "What are thinking about?" Yazoo asked Loz. Loz snapped out of his daze and answered. "What?" Yazoo looked away and shook his head. "Never mind." Loz shrugged and went back to staring at Tifa across the room. Tifa stared back and winked. Loz's face flushed and he smiled. Yazoo watched him from the corner of his eye and giggled.

Zack sat in the library at lunch alone; he needed some space.

It was the end of 6th period and Zack was changing in the dressing room when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around and there stood Vincent. "Hey." Zack greeted. Vincent nodded and replied. "Hey." Zack shifted uncomfortably after he finished changing and shut his locker. "So..." Vincent then spoke. "I'm sorry for not talking to you. It was dumb." Zack nodded. "It's ok."

"So, you how have you been?" Vincent asked.

"I've been alright, and yourself?" Zack asked.

"I've been good. Where are you headed right now?" Vincent asked as they walked out of the locker room.

"I'm going to visit Cloud. He's in the hospital right now." Zack replied.

"Really, what happened? Is he ok?" Vincent asked with concern.

Zack shook his head. "I honestly don't know."

Vincent nodded. "I see. Well I'll see you later Zack, I have to meet up with someone." Zack nodded. "Alright, see you Vincent." Vincent then ran out the school exit and headed down the street.

Zack was about to walk down the steps of the school when he stopped dead in his tracks. His heart started racing and his palms began to sweat. Could it really be.....?

"Hey, long time no see." Aerith smiled warmly at him.

"Aerith!"

Even though Cloud's body was still and his eyes were closed, he felt a single tear escape his eye and roll down his cheek.


End of chapter 11! Let the drama begin! Thank you to my beta and everyone that's been reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it and please continue to REVIEW, please!

Also vote in my poll! Please!

Favorite character of the chapter: Cloud and Yazoo! I couldn't decide; I just had to choose both! Yay!

Who was your fav and why? Inform me.

Chapter 12! Coming soon. Drama!