Hey guys, I just want to say thank you for all the amazing comments regarding this fic. I'd especially like to thank 'the deepest secret' for such a detailed and heart warming review. I hope this chapter and future chapters do not disappoint all of you.
As always, please be kind and review. I'd love to know what you are thinking and feeling regarding this fic. Thank you!
Chapter 10
Erin stood in front of her full length mirror; staring back at her reflection; wondering again for about the 100th time why she was doing this; why she was putting herself through this. She had Jay's blessing; she didn't have to attend; she didn't have to witness their happiness and love in front of all their family and friends.
Yet, here she stood; in her slinky red dip hem dress that fell just above her knees in the front and grazed her mid-calf in the back. She had a thin gold belt around her waist; giving the dress a flattering shape and complimented the gold hoop earring in her ears, the simple gold pendant around her neck and gold bracelets around her wrists.
She spun around and looked at her reflection from over her shoulder; wondering if she should really wear this dress; its low cut back and very fine straps leaving her no choice but to go braless. A year ago; she wouldn't have flinched at going braless; her breasts were a nice size to get away with it and well, she knew the effect it always had on Jay.
Erin and Jay stood in the middle of the dance floor; slowly swaying amongst the other couples on the floor; keeping their eyes peeled. Jay was dressed in a navy blue suit; light blue shirt and no tie. Erin was wearing a short floaty lilac dress, supported only with very fine straps.
They had been placed undercover in the restaurant; as a couple; a few other members of the unit were also in the restaurant under various guises; Antonio was a bar tender; Ruzek was a waiter; Atwater was on the door and Olinsky was a patron at the bar. They had been waiting for a deal to take place between their suspects for the last 40 minutes.
She could feel Jay's fingers gently graze her bare back as he pulled her close; she fought the urge to kiss him; he may be feeling brave under their cover but she wasn't going to do anything to push the boundaries of their cover.
She felt him against her; his hardened manhood pressing against her stomach; her eyes widened and she looked up at him. "Sergeant Platt." She quickly stated. She knew he had to picture something to relieve the tension and Sergeant Platt was normally a good trigger.
"Huh?" He asked, confused.
"Jay..." She sighed; a burning sensation now beginning to spread between her own thighs. "Please...Sergeant Platt licking an ice cream."
"Ew! Erin what are you doing?" He hissed in her ear; before she slowly felt the pressure subside from against her stomach.
"It was more about what you were doing." She whispered back. She looked up to meet his eyes. "I would have liked to see you explain yourself to Voight...um sorry sarge, I couldn't chase the suspect 'cause I had a hard on." She couldn't help but shoot him a teasing smile.
"Well it's your fault!" He whispered back, smirking. "You really couldn't wear a bra? It's not easy knowing all that is separating me from those perfect puppies is the very thin material of your dress."
"I guess I should never wear this dress again." Erin teased. "In fact, I shouldn't even wear it home tonight."
"You better!" He growled in her ear.
Erin had to bit her own lip to stop herself from groaning; her whole body beginning to shiver. All she wanted now was to be at home; letting Jay tear the dress off her. Thankfully, the sight of their suspects moving towards the bar brought both of them back to reality and their task at hand.
Erin sighed and shook her head; she shouldn't worry about what Jay would think; what was and wasn't appropriate; he was getting married; she was dressing for herself; not him. She spun around again and focused on her reflection; face on.
Her hair was sitting in soft curls; the front of the right side clipped back, exposing her right ear. Her makeup was simple and classic with a neutral eye shadow and bold red lipstick. She slipped on her favourite black high heels and studied her reflection once more before leaving her bedroom and her apartment.
She knew even though Jay had said it was okay for her not to attend; she needed to go; she had to see for herself how they worked as a couple to help her understand why he chose Spencer and not her. She knew she was going to have to face their happiness sooner rather than later. She was his partner after all; this was the first of the big events; the engagement party; the wedding; the baby shower; the christening; first birthdays; first days at school; graduations. She couldn't miss them all or questions would be asked. No, if she wanted to keep Jay as her partner she'd just have to fake it until she made it.
###########
As Erin entered Molly's, she found most of the guests were already there; the guests of honour however, were not. Her eyes fell on the big banner across the bar; reading 'Congratulations to the future Halsteads – Jay and Spencer'. She swallowed hard; seeing it in writing was making it official; Jay was getting married; and not to her; she wasn't going to be a Halstead.
"Erin! Erin!" She could hear Kim and Nadia call from their usual table at the back. She pushed her way through the crowd towards Kim, Nadia, Adam and Antonio; surprised by how many people were here; not even sure if Jay knew them all.
Both Antonio and Adam gave a little wolf whistle as she slide into the booth. She knew she should make some remark about how they were degrading her but to be honest; tonight, she needed their compliment so she just gave a small smile.
"So Nads, where's Mouse?" She asked. "I thought you two would come together."
"Why? It's not like we're a couple." Nadia replied.
Erin shot Kim a quick look; she just shook her head in response. She turned her attention back to Nadia. "So you're not dating?" Erin tried to clarify.
"We're just having fun." Nadia quickly replied. "Geez! Why does everybody need to put a label on things?"
"Okay." Erin softly muttered before quickly scanning the crowd. She found Mouse at the bar with a few Military looking guys and wondered if they were in Jay's Ranger unit. She also found Will in the middle of a group of nurses and doctors; already looking like he had made good use of the bar. She turned back to the group at their table. "So where are the guests of honour?"
"They haven't arrived yet." Antonio replied.
"Knowing Jay, they've been distracted." Adam added; winking. "If you know what I mean."
Oh, Erin knew what he meant; he meant they were probably having sex. She gave a small laugh while Kim shook her head and elbowed Adam; she knew he didn't know about Erin and Jay but still; she wanted to protect her best friend.
"So um, I thought you weren't coming." Kim said; her eyes questioning Erin, checking if she was okay.
"Why wouldn't she come?" Adam asked. "She's his partner."
"Because she was meant to baby sit Hank Jr for Olive and Justin." Nadia quickly explained; knowing the excuse Erin had fed Will. Erin shot her a grateful smile.
"Yeah, I was meant to be babysitting but Hank said he would watch him so here I am." Erin replied. "I mean, it's not like I could miss it...I am his partner after all." She watched as Kim nodded; satisfied that Erin was emotionally secure enough to survive the night.
#############
Jay pulled his car up; a few feet away from the entrance of Molly's; amazed that he was able to get a spot so close. He put the car in park; his hand resting on the stick. He felt Spencer's soft delicate fingers gently take his hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze.
She could tell he was anxious; that he hated being the centre of attention. This was why undercover worked for him; he was meant to blend into the background; go undetected. He felt himself relax; his hand turning upwards to entwine his fingers with hers; the coolness of the gold band and encased diamond taking him by surprise.
He looked over at her; she was smiling at him; reassuring him and he couldn't help but smile back; wondering how he got so lucky. She was naturally stunning; dressed in a cream fit and flare skater dress with peach and purple flowers; a peach button down sweater with the buttons opened covering her shoulders and arms. Her medium length blonde hair was tousled; her makeup was minimal; capturing her natural beauty.
"Are you ready for this?" She asked. He swallowed hard and nodded yes. She pulled her hand from his and reached out; her hand fixing down his lilac shirt collar. Her hand gripped his dark grey suit and leaned in to softly kiss his lips. She hovered over him; her nose gently grazing his. She gently patted the lapel of his suit jacket. "Let's do this."
She pulled away and unclipped her seatbelt, before stepping out of the car; with Jay quickly following. They fell into step; their hands finding each other again as they approached Molly's. They paused at the doors and took a deep breath before Jay pushed opened the door and they entered Molly's together; quickly greeted by cheers and well wishes from their family and friends.
##############
Jay and Spencer worked their way through the crowd; accepting the congratulations and the 'oohs' over Spencer's ring and the odd quip of "How did you pay for that on a Detective's salary?" Jay was amazed at the amount of people that had turned out to wish them well; from Spencer's old friends from med school and her boarding school; to Jay's old Ranger buddies and his former colleagues from the gangs unit; to the Corsons. Will had done a good job inviting the guests.
He knew his dad and Spencer's father wouldn't come; they rarely make it into the city and if he was honest; he was relieved. His home life and his work life had always been completely separate; especially as his father could not hide his distaste for his choice of career. Yes, he knew the two worlds would probably collide at the wedding but he didn't have to worry about that just yet.
He continued to make his way through the crowd; trying to make his way towards the back of the bar where he knew his 'family'; the Intelligence unit where. He felt Spencer's hand slip from his; he paused and looked back; she had been caught by one of her old boarding school friends in an embrace. He caught her eyes and she nodded in return; letting him know she'd catch up.
As he finally made it to their table; he was met with lots of well wishes, hugs and playful slaps on the back. Then his eyes found her; the person he hadn't expected to see; she was smiling coyly at him and he couldn't help but smile back.
"Congratulations Jay." She softly said.
"Thanks." He muttered. His arms automatically reached out and pulled her into his waiting embrace; he knew he shouldn't; he knew he had been fighting the urge so many times but he was just so happy to see her here; it was a sign that they were okay; that the situation they had found themselves in would work itself out.
It only took him a few moments to realise that she was holding back; that she did not hug him back; that although her arms were around his waist; they were lightly placed; not holding him. He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets; his eyes meeting her eyes again; both of them smiling a polite smile.
He felt Spencer's delicate hand graze his shoulder and he turned to look at her; his own mind whirling; wondering if she had witnessed the awkward embrace with Erin. However, he did not have too long to contemplate his thoughts as Spencer was quickly engulfed in hugs and kisses on her cheek; his 'family' embracing her and he couldn't help but smile.
"So, let us see the most important thing...the ring!" Kim pressed; her eyes drifting between Jay and Spencer.
Spencer blushed slightly and held out her left hand; displaying a gold band with a perfect princess cut diamond with five smaller diamonds surrounding it. Erin, Nadia and Kim politely oohed and aahed while Dawson asked Jay.
"Are we sure you and I do the same job? Because there is no way I could afford that on my salary."
Spencer softly laughed and cuddled into Jay, looking up at him; giving him permission to tell them the truth. Jay took one hand out of pockets and loosely draped his arm around Spencer waist before clearing his throat. "I couldn't afford it either." He stated; his colleagues looking back at him; confused; so he continued. "The ring was Spencer's mother's engagement ring."
"It's a tradition in my family." Spencer continued. "The engagement ring has been passed on to 3 generations of the Anders men to present to their future wives but well, since I am an only child; it was left to me."
An echo of "Oohs" circulated the table; the unit finally realising Spencer's mother had passed away. There was an awkward silence. Finally, Kim spoke. "Well, I'm sure you and Jay will have a son to pass it on and carry on the tradition." She stated with a smile.
Erin noticed how Spencer's smile dropped and her eyes glazed over with sadness for a brief moment. She noticed how Jay gave Spencer's waist a reassuring squeeze and her smile returned. She watched as Spencer swallowed hard before speaking.
"Yes, that would be a nice idea." Spencer softly stated; her voice slightly cracking with emotion. She paused; before speaking again. "I'm sorry guys but can I borrow my fiancée?" She gently squeezed Jay's arm. "I need to introduce him to my old governess."
"Oh yes...of course...go right ahead." Echoed amongst the group. Spencer smiled in return and began to pull Jay away. Erin met Jay's eyes; her own eyes questioning him. He shot her a quick look, reassuring her that everything was okay but it didn't stop the questions filling her head.
###########
Erin watched Spencer at the bar; along with Adam and Kim; her mind filled with questions that she just couldn't shake. She knew she should just let it go; that it was none of her business but Spencer obviously had something in her past and although it looked like Jay knew what it was; Erin couldn't help but worry. She didn't want Jay to get hurt.
She watched as Kim genuine laughter echoed around the bar and Erin couldn't help but give a small sad smile. She knew out of loyalty that Kim would try not to fall for Spencer's charms; that she would not let herself be befriended. But Erin knew that Kim was in desperate need of another couple to hang out and double date with. Erin really did not want to deprive her of the opportunity so she knew what she had to do; she had to give Kim her blessing.
"Sizing up the competition?" An ever familiar voice whispered in her ear. She smiled. She had been so focused on Spencer she hadn't even noticed him sliding in beside her. She turned to face Will.
"Actually, I was just admiring how good a party this is." She replied. "You've missed your calling Will Halstead...you should have been a party planner."
"Please! This was a breeze." He shot back with a smile; waving away her compliment. "After all, my life has been one big party."
"Oh, I'd believe it." Erin laughed. There was a pause in the conversation.
"I am glad you came." Will stated. "I know it mustn't be easy..." He trailed off.
Erin shrugged her shoulders. "I'm his partner." She replied. "It would look suspicion if I didn't turn up."
Will smiled; bringing a glass of vodka up to his lips. "Always trying to protect your secrets Erin Lindsay." He softly stated before taking a gulp of his drink.
"Well it is my job." Erin quickly retorted; before picking up her own glass of scotch and downing the contents.
Will watched as she replaced her glass before reaching out and lightly gripping her wrist. "C'mon, I am not going to let you waste all this hotness." He stated, pulling her off her stool.
She gave a laugh and pulled herself from his hold. "Um, as flattered as I am..." She began. "...we are not hooking up now nor will we ever hook up."
Will playfully punch his chest. "Oh I'm so heartbroken; um...not!" He shot back sarcastically. He reached out to lightly grip Erin's wrist again. He began to pull her towards the crowd.
"If you're not hitting on me then where are you taking me?" Erin asked.
"Erin, it is time you forgot about all your secrets you have and the pain they bring." Will simply stated. "It is time that you had a little fun...and I want you to meet someone who I think will help with that."
"Will, I really appreciate your intentions but..." She began to explain before they came to a complete stop. She watched as Will tapped the shoulder of some man. He was about 6 foot, with wide muscular shoulders and back; with a well defined ass and strong legs. He had thick dark wavy hair and as he spun around to face both of them; Erin found a neat dark beard covering a well defined jaw; sparkling blue eye contrasting the dark hair and slightly tanned skin.
She stared up at him; getting lost in his eyes; he looked like he had just stepped out of a J Crew catalogue; you could not deny that he was incredibly handsome; if not beautiful; if you ever could describe a man as beautiful then he would be it.
"Erin, I would like you to meet Dr. Garrett Matthews; head of cardiac surgery." Will stated. "Garrett, this is Detective Erin Lindsey; the girl I told you all about."
Erin glared at Will; he had talked her up to this man; this perfect gorgeous man. She knew she should be fuming; put him in his place but then she heard Garrett give a small nervous laugh and she melted; even his laugh sounded gorgeous. She looked back at him; he was blushing ever so slightly and she couldn't help but give a small nervous laugh herself.
#############
Jay sat at a table at the back of the bar; near the pathway leading to the bathrooms and payphone; he had a bottle of beer hovering over his lips, waiting to be drunk; but he couldn't take his eyes off the sight before him; standing at the bar.
Erin stood; white wine spritzer in hand; beside some doctor; supposedly a friend and colleague of his brother Will and fiancée Spencer; apparently he was a heart surgeon. He watched as Erin softly giggled and tossed her hair; totally enthralled in whatever story he was sharing.
Jay knew he had no right to complain; to feel hurt; he had Spencer; he had moved on; he had gotten engaged and had the nerve to return back to the unit to be Erin's partner. He had no right to feel the urges he was feeling but right now; he wanted to pull her away from that guy and tell him to back off.
He knew it was selfish; that he should be happy she was moving on; it would make things so much easier if they both moved on and found love as he knew things were definitely not easy since he had returned.
Everything in Syria was so simple; life with Spencer was so simple; he knew what he wanted; he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Spencer and that hadn't changed. But seeing Erin every day just reminded him what he couldn't have; what she didn't let him have when she chose Voight over him.
He watched her as she brought the white wine spritzer to her lips and took a sip. He shook his head; still not believing that the Erin he knew could drink such a drink. Antonio had tried to tell him that Erin had changed while he was away; that her friendships with Kim and Nadia had opened her heart a little more.
If that was true, Jay couldn't help but think that maybe leaving town was the best thing he had done not just for himself but also her; and maybe he should have just stayed away. Because let's face it; he knew Erin and he knew deep down; she wasn't as comfortable about his engagement to Spencer as she was desperately trying to let on.
He caught sight of Spencer; making her way through the crowd towards him; with the warmest happiest smile he had seen cross her face since they returned to Chicago and guilt washed over him. He was extremely selfish; he should be happy Erin was flirting with another man and moving on because she deserved to be happy; just like him.
He felt Spencer's soft delicate touch on his shoulder and he turned to look at her; a smile automatically spreading across his lips. He placed his beer back down on the table; before wrapping his arm around her waist; pulling her down onto his lap. She automatically snuggled into him as he softly kissed the top of her head.
"You okay?" He asked.
She lifted her head and turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck; her fingers beginning to tease the small hairs on the nape of his neck. "I know this is our engagement party and all but would it be really bad if we left?" She asked, gently chewing her bottom lip.
Jay glanced at his watch; it was nearly 1am; by all means, nowhere near a late night for a Friday in Chicago. "If you want to..." He replied, "...I mean it is our party so we set the rules. Why? You tired?" She shook her head no; a devilish smile spreading across her lips. "Oh!" Jay knew what that smile meant; his own smile growing wider and wider by the second.
"Let's go home." She stated; looking him right in the eyes as she slipped off his lap to stand up. He didn't have to be asked twice; slipping his hand in hers; following her out of the bar; shouting his rushed goodbyes as they left.
To be continued...
