A/N I found out I can only write at night. It's like when I'm most awake and it's a bother because I can only do homework at this time! Ah, yes, here is a fair warning: Non-consensual sex, or attempted sex, will be present and mentioned in the next chapters. It is very relevant to the story. If you do not think so, please go and research.

Swim 'Til You Drown

Time was an essence, an essence without meaning or trace. How could one track time without getting lose within in it? Lost between the folds of memories and the traps of dreams, between the crinkles in fate and the holes of nightmares; time was something to be taken lightly, like a cloud or raindrop, but the strength of it could, and would, send unsuspecting people reeling.

Touch was another feeling that was becoming numb to one specific unsuspecting person. Kurt could no longer feel the waves of fabric between his fingers as he picked out a new outfit. He could no longer feel his feet slide into his leather Oxford's, or the way his moisturizer was painted across his cheeks.

He found himself unintentionally turning down all invitations to social events, mall trips and the numerous movies. His friends were worried about him.

His routine was to get up, go to school, come home, and go to sleep. He would waste no time after the bell rang to rush out to his car. It had been a week and half, a short span of moments, but it felt like years. The only comfort was that Dave was nowhere near him, though the texts and calls were more than consistent.

Dave would never acknowledge Kurt's presence in school, like usual, but now it was starting to tread on Kurt's tense shoulders. Dave's calls were becoming persistent, and they would be coming to him directly after school, up until he got home and all the times in between. Kurt answered once to tell Dave that his mind was too busy to speak. It never stopped the calls.

Kurt didn't know how he was going to break up with Dave. He knew he wanted to, he needed too, but he was honestly frightened by the prospect. Dave had nailed him for simply not wanting to make out!

Kurt understood and he accepted that he was in an abusive relationship, and he wanted out of it. He just didn't know how.

Although Kurt did not pick up Dave's calls, he did try to reach someone else who Kurt wished would call him. Blaine had kept good on his word, he was nowhere to be found. Even the small comfort of Blaine's voice would have been soothing to Kurt, but Blaine wouldn't answer his phone. Kurt didn't blame him.

He thought it was his fault, and in a way, it was. Was he only toying with Blaine's feelings? He knew that Blaine loved him, and was Kurt only relishing himself in the love that he knew Blaine had for him? Was it something out of low self esteem? The questions were fruitless, as the answers to them were gone in the clouds.

They would be haunting Kurt when his mind was elsewhere. Soon, he had almost convinced himself that he only tricked himself into loving Blaine that way. After a quick, accidental glance at a photo of said boy, Kurt realized that he had not tricked himself. He really did love Blaine. He was in love with Blaine.

The winter had lost it's snow, the Glee club had lost it's glee, and Kurt's heart had lost it's other half.

Or at least, Kurt hoped Blaine was his heart's other half. He wasn't sure anymore.

Kurt strode over to a plaid green armchair in the corner of the school library, and sat down. The plush flattened underneath him, and Kurt wished briefly that the school could ring out for better furniture. It was a curt thought, and it only lasted in Kurt's mind for a second before being overpowered by someone else's face.

Kurt wanted to scream at Blaine, he wanted to yell at the top of his lungs, and he wanted to show Blaine just how much he was hurting him. But over that, all he wanted to do, and he knew he would do rather than yell if given the chance, was pull Blaine into a hug and apologize.

How could things get so screwed up in such a short time?

Kurt self consciously smoothed out his attire, removing the wrinkles from the clothes. He had tried his hardest to put together a suitable outfit for Kurt Hummel to be seen in, but in the end he had settled on simple black jeans and an over-sized sweatshirt.

He was wearing down. It took physical effort to get up and do his facial routine, and his body felt heavy when he was confronted with a simple task. Burt and Carole were worried about him, but when they had voiced their questions to him, they were given replies of 'I'm fine'.

Kurt knew things were not fine.

He splayed his homework across his lap and set off on calculus problems. They weren't that hard, and they kept his mind away from the other pressing issues. Homework could be useful, in some sense.

The school library was held open for students during lunch. It was where Kurt was now. He had found his appetite unsurprisingly missing, so he traveled through throngs of students to get here before anyone could raise a fuss. He knew Mercedes and Brittany wanted to interrogate him.

The library was quiet. The librarian was at the front, stamping books or reading through a newspaper of some sort. Jacob Ben Israel was hitting on some cheerleaders at the front, whom of which were scoffing and rejecting him rather harshly.

A piece of paper deterred Kurt from his equations, and he looked up to see Dave walking away from him into a row of shelves. Kurt glanced down to see a folded note sitting on his lap. Kurt's face remained emotionless as his fingers unhinged the note from it's binds.

Meet me at my house after school. We need to talk, urgent.

Kurt was scared to go, but he felt like he needed to. He had some things to say to Dave, and if he didn't gather up his bravery now, then he never would. He had to break things off Dave, as soon as possible.

As he made this promise to himself, Kurt felt like some weight was being lifted from his shoulders.

The thought of Blaine had the weight come crashing back down, harder and heavier.

XxXxXxXx

Why did he say goodbye? After discovered love, and reunions, he had said goodbye. His heart slowed it's pace and his face became sullen whenever he remembered that he couldn't just call Kurt when he wanted to say hello.

Because he had said goodbye.

His reasons were clear at first, but now they were fading into a hazy line. Seeing Kurt with someone else had struck him in the face, but he couldn't be so selfish as to hate Kurt for being happy with someone else. But then he had realized that maybe Kurt was in a false sense of joy, and it hurt him even more.

He had thought that spending time with Kurt as friends would be easy. All he had to do was block out non-platonic thoughts when he was around him, and things would be alright. He was so very mistaken.

Kurt's face was always stretched in a shimmer of expressions, his mood able to change faster than one would expect. He usually had a mask on his face, as he would always try to hide his emotions from others, but when the mask was worked down, his smiles and chuckles would come without persuasion. The way he would absentmindedly drum his fingers on the table as if he was playing the piano tempted Blaine into wanting to lay his own fingers over Kurt's.

And maybe that was whole reason why Blaine had said goodbye. His own heart ached when he was around the most amazing boy he had ever laid eyes upon, and it nearly killed him to not be able to call him his.

It was selfish, Blaine knew, but he needed to guard his heart. Kurt was too wonderful of a person, a person who had gone through so much, for Blaine to not get strikes of emotional pain whenever Kurt was in his presence.

Although he wanted to keep his feelings under lock and key, he also regretted breaking his promise.

It felt like Blaine and Kurt had been innocent six year olds when they had made that promise to each other, though it was only weeks ago. They had nearly linked pinkies and swore on their favorite Disney films that they would never say goodbye to each other ever again.

But Blaine did say goodbye. He had left. It wasn't first grade anymore, their promises weren't over schoolboy secrets or scraped knees. Love had been sewn into their lives, and even though promises were never to be broken, this one had.

Blaine wanted for Karofsky to never have taken an interest in Kurt. He wanted Karofsky to get a hold of himself, and stop hurting Kurt so badly that Kurt eventually thought it was it was normal. Blaine should have let Kurt finish when he was saying his farewells, but the broken way Kurt had been speaking was a new rip in the chest for Blaine.

Love had been sewn in, and Blaine wished the abuse would be ripped out.

XxXxXxXx

Next chapter will updated shortly.