I wake up with a thousand questions in my head and a burning in my throat like I've never felt before. I immediately know we're not on the plane anymore, even before I open my eyes. It smells like a hotel. My head is pounding, but not with the same earth-shattering force as before. I can sense that everything is completely different now, though I'm not sure how yet.
"You'll have to learn to control your breathing better if you want to pretend you're asleep around vampires."
I gasp and sit up quickly. I realize my mistake too late, that the pain in my head is going to cripple me. But I'm surprised when it's nothing more than that woozy feeling of standing too fast. Damon is sitting in a chair across from the bed I'm in, leaning towards me with his arms resting on this legs, hands clasped before him, smiling at me cautiously. He must understand how confused I feel right now.
"Where are we?" I ask, looking around as if I'll find the answer inside this room.
"Las Vegas," he responds with a shrug as if he's offering an apology. "I know it probably isn't best to take a newborn vampire to a city absolutely packed with people, but I figured the population density would give us a little bit of cover. Just in case."
I look up at him and smile. I'm so grateful for what he's just done for me. "If I asked you how you did it, would you tell me?" I question him, daring to let some amusement show in my voice and quirk an eyebrow. I already know the answer.
He smirks as he rises from the chair to sit at the edge of the bed. "Never," he says simply. "I never want to talk about it again." He reaches up to rest his hand on my cheek, his thumb tracing across my cheekbone, the gesture pure and true and loving. I close my eyes and revel in the way it feels. I'm so glad that I feel no shame in how much I enjoy his touch. I rest my hand over his and hold it there, his thumb still gliding over my skin. When I look up at him again, I'm surprised to find he doesn't look happy and peaceful like I expect him to. He looks so torn and broken, it almost brings tears to my eyes. My brow creases in confusion and worry.
"Damon-" I start, but he cuts me off.
"I'm so sorry. If I hadn't taken so long to come back, he couldn't have hurt you this badly. And you never would have had to become the thing you hate. It shouldn't be this way, Elena, I should have co-"
Now I'm the one who cuts him off. My fingers press against his lips, silencing the words spilling from his mouth. There is nothing to apologize for.
"Damon," I start. I only move my hand once I know he won't interrupt me. "I cannot thank you enough for what you did. You saved me."
"You never wanted to be saved," he whispers, so broken, so ashamed of himself.
"That's because I never realized how desperately I needed saving, Damon. Not until I met you." I let the words sink in, watching hope mingle with the other emotions in his eyes. "Damon, I knew what I was asking of you on that plane. I made up my mind already, maybe even before Klaus took me. The things I had with Stefan and the dreams I had before my parents died, they were fading. But you were there to give me new ones. I was already thinking about it. You gave me what I wanted and saved my life all at the same time." I offer a smile that I hope is comforting. I truly wanted this.
He looks happy enough, but I still feel his eyes searching my face for some sign of remorse or doubt. He won't find one. "If you're absolutely positive that this is what you want, then you need to complete your transition." He's serious and solemn, and I'm surprised this isn't a dream come true for him. I won't be vulnerable and weak anymore. He'll never have to swoop in and save me like this again.
He stands and walks across the room to dig through a duffel bag. When he returns to sit by me again, he's holding out a blood bag, heavy and full of the deep red liquid that will now sustain me and give me strength. All at once, my senses are overwhelmed by its proximity, and almost everything is wiped from my mind. The burning in my throat intensifies tenfold, and I need that blood. But I look into Damon's eyes and there's still uncertainty there. And I don't want to walk into this life if he's always going to regret this moment.
"Damon," I start, fighting the feeling of thirst at the back of my throat. Pushing past it to tell him something very important. "I want this. I truly want this to happen. Don't you know why?"
He shakes his head, and I wonder how many times I'll have to remind him in the years to come before he believes.
"You. I want this because of you. I care about you. I want to be with you." I offer a timid smile. "Maybe forever." I'm not used to freely admitting my feelings for him. Even though I know he cares for me more than anyone ever has, he's offered his own life and safety for mine and been true to me all this time, I still feel vulnerable and unsure letting him know how I feel.
As I say the words, his face changes and I finally see the hope and happiness that I want to see in him. He doesn't even smile, he just looks at me like I just turned his world around, and I hope I did. Before I can say anything else, he leans forward and kisses me. It's not the heartbroken kiss of a near death confession of love. It's not a stolen kiss or a forbidden one. It's the kiss I've wanted from him for months but have been too scared to take. It's his fingers wrapping around the back of my neck to pull me close to him, his other hand still holding the blood bag that's about to change my life forever. It's the passion of a love gone untold for too many months and the release that comes with seeing it returned. It's everything. I knew that Damon loved me, but I never imagined it went this deep. But now, with his lips on mine, I know that I will never tire of exploring the depths of his love for me. There will always be more.
We break apart from the short but satisfying sweetness. He rests his forehead on mine, his hand still on my neck, keeping me close to him. He speaks so low I almost miss it, "You have no idea how happy that makes me." And I smile. Glad that for once I've done the right thing and returned the love that he has always given freely to me.
I pull back and look down at the bag in his hand, my body never letting me forget what it really wants. Blood.
"Is it ok if I…?" I trail off, not wanting to give away just how much I'm dying to have that blood in my system.
"Here." He hands it to me once he's ripped off the seal. "We'll find time to let you go out and feed and learn how to do it well, but I figured this is easier than finding a rabbit in Las Vegas for you to drink from," he smirks.
Part of me wants to be repulsed at what I'm about to do, but I know I'm in transition and that my body wants this blood and knows that it needs it to survive. I put the tube to my mouth and suck in, slowly at first, but becoming more ravenous as I feed. As the first taste hits me, I feel the changes in my face and I know that the veins below my eyes are rippling and that my eyes are filled with red. There's an uncomfortable push in my gums, and finally I feel my fangs dip down, powerful and sharp. For every mouthful, I want two more, and I drink greedily until the bag is flat and empty.
When I'm done, I hand the bag back to Damon and feel my features return to normal. I know I'm going to feel so stupid asking this question out loud, but I can't help myself, "How horrible do I look when I change?"
He looks at me and reaches his hand out again to caress my face. "You've never looked more beautiful to me." And I believe him. I reach out my hand to mimic his movements and lean in to place a soft kiss on his lips.
He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, sighing in relief. And most likely exhaustion, too. He looks like he would fall over if he wasn't holding on to me. I scoot over in the bed so that he can crawl in next to me. As we lay down, he wraps his arms around me and presses his chest to my back, filling in the space between us.
"So what do we do now?" I murmur, already drifting back to sleep. My body doesn't hurt anymore, but something within me knows I've been through a traumatic experience.
"I'm not sure," he says. And I can hear how tired he really is, no doubt emotionally as well as physically.
So without any clarity or plan, we fall asleep in each others arms.
