Chapter 10: Blood to go
Now then, what was that business thingy, that I had to do again? I don't remember. I mean, topics related to business are ALWAYS boring, so who would blame me for ignoring them? Anyways, 'some kind of business' it was. Isn't business always about banks and stuff? And since I'm kindred, I'm always involved with other kindred, and kindred on the other hand only care about blood. This means, that I should visit the Blood Bank, right? I'm a genius!
"Do you want to donate some blood, hm? It could be your good deed for the day, you know? Ah, but you don't look like some kind of good Samaritan to me, honey.
Be honest, you're not here to give, but rather to take, aren't you? You can't fool me, sweetie, I have seen eyes like yours before. Eyes full of hunger. You crave for it, don't you?", the caged man at the counter greets me. He has greasy red hair and dark circles around his eyes.
Dark daughter of Janus has a strange taste. Why creepy redheads? Why not adorable blondes, or mysterious blackheads?
The fear of the queen keeps the bishop awake. One bishop has already been sacrificed to the white enemy.
"You're wrong… I'm not sweet. I'd like to make a withdrawal.", I calmly reply. "Right on. I like your forwardness, no useless quibbling, no silly excuses. Oh, how I loathe those of you, who come here, all pretending to be innocent. 'No sir, you got me wrong, I'm not a blood sucker, I just coincidently need to buy some blood', as if anyone would believe them.", greasy redhead laments, before I interrupt him with my order, "I take one banker, two busty office ladies, one mechanic, and three nurses – oh, and an IT student to go, please!" This is so much fun, I never would've guessed, that doing bank business could be as awesome as buying one of those candy bags, where you get to choose the kind and amount of candy. "… Sure. Here you go.", greasy redhead says, as he hands me some blood bags.
To be honest, I wouldn't have thought, that someone as greasy as him, would be able to do a good job as a banker, but he didn't even hesitate, when he grabbed the blood bags. To be able to fulfil my request so easily… I'm impressed.
I fill the IT student into the empty coffee cup, I brought with me as a souvenir from the buck of stars, and sip on it, as I head out. Ugh, tastes more like theoretical physics student. Fraud! I'm disappointed, greasy redhead, truly disappointed! He thought, I wouldn't be able to taste the difference, huh?
Well, I may not look like it, but I'm an expert blood taster! I know all about, uhm, stuff, uhm like blood groups and, uh, things! I'm still angry, when I sit down behind cab man, in his beloved cab. "Where to?", he asks me, expressionless as always. Ah, routines are so soothing. "Don't know. Don't care. Just away from this fraudster. What, IT student? No IT student! Theoretical physics, pah. His hygiene is also only theoretical! He could use some practice! Like, on how to wash his greasy hair!"
Cab man simply ignores my complaints, as he steers his yellow boat through the wavy night.
As I watch the city lights passing by, I do something I hate: contemplating my next step. Somewhere, someone is waiting for me, but who was it again? I still feel muddleheaded from my trip to wonder-wonderland. Isn't it always the dolphin, who is ordering me around and wanting to play fetch with me?
It has been some time, since I last saw him. He's probably already missing the powerful me, a maid capable of fulfilling his every wish. I bet he's on top of the sky tower right now, silently watching the city of angels from above, like an elementary student on a rainy day, waiting for his mom. Aww, how cute.
Ok, time to pick up my little prince. "To the highest tower in the town down below, please. I want to see the dolphin of the sky.", I command cab man.
The last time I visited dolphin prince, I had to wait for a small eternity, before his henchmen allowed me into his office. This time, I didn't have to wait long, I guess he really DID miss me. Not even being able to play the waiting game with me due to his loneliness, I feel touched. "Why are you looking at me like that? To begin with, why are you even here?", tsundere prince greets me. He looks kind of annoyed? I immediately hide my pitiful expression and distract him by showing him my bag full of blood bags. "I brought your blood.", I explain to him. "What?", he replies confused. "What?", I say, as I quickly close my bag and hide it behind me. Meh, wrong guess. "… Anyways, I have a task for you by chance. I need you to investigate this person, his affiliations and secrets that could be used against him. If you need any equipment for this mission, you can order it from this E-mail address. It belongs to someone working for me, however he doesn't like meeting people."
I receive a business card from him, with Rancid Randy's favorite address written on it, and cheerfully add it to my business card collection.
"Unless you had some other business with me, you may leave.", dolphin prince dismisses me, while he returns to his favorite standing place next to the big window.
I stare at his back for a short moment. Aww, he's probably shy and doesn't want me to see him grinning out of happiness from seeing me.
After leaving the sky tower, I aimlessly wander the streets. I'm not in the mood for questing right now.
"THE END! IT IS NEAR! The DEAD, the DEAD, they are already walking among us! Repent! You must repent now, before hell fully breaks loose, here on our earth! YOU! YOU THERE! Have you been a good Christian, Sir? HEY! HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! GOD is WATCHING you, Sir. He's WATCHING! God is watching ALL of us, while he sharpens his butcher knife. You all better PRAY! Pray for FORGIVENESS! Cause the END OF ALL DAYS is near, and NONE of you heretics will be spared! You will all burn in hell! BURN IN HELL!"
Oh, this strange kine is on to something. I have hidden myself behind a trash can, while I watch this interesting individual putting on a show. His clothes seem to be the proud survivors of a fierce mud-fight and his hair is more tangled than the snakes in a snake pit. The shaking of his beard his absolutely hypnotizing.
Oh no. I think I'm in love. I try to sneak closer to him, but a stench, which suddenly assaults my nose, keeps me away. Ah, goodbye my first love. Your life was short. What kind of body odor did you expect from a crazy hobo, covered in mud? – One of my voices asks me sarcastically.
Uh, I don't know. Mint? Since his blabbering is quite refreshing.
My inner voice responds with silence. Ha, I'm always winning the arguments against myselves.
Anyways, dead people walking among humans, huh. Maybe I should properly depose of my first love. "What are you doing there?" My head spins around and I find the number nine looking down on the crouching me. I stand up with a cough and brush off my clothes, before answering him, "My ears must be drunk. There's no way, that the high and mighty number nine cares about the numberless me." I harrumph and pass by him, intentionally ignoring him, while doing so.
"Wait, kiddo.", Nines calmly calls me from behind. I stop my feet. Wait. And wordlessly continue, before he managed to catch up to me. A few steps later, Nines is walking besides me. "Look, we might've overreacted a bit the other day. We thought, that you would've talked to that snobby kiss-ass sissy about us. Wouldn't have been the first newbie to betray our cause for some fake sense of security." "I can't remember exchanging sake cups with any of you?", I interrupt his sorry excuse of an apology. You can only betray someone, who you have pledged your loyalty to, no? "… Yeah. My bad, kiddo. You're a Malk after all. You probably didn't even know, what you were doing." Wait, wait, wait! Being a Malk can be used as an excuse for behaving however I like? Neat.
"And in the end, you still helped us. So… thanks, kiddo. Stop by, when you're bored, ok? Tara would like to meet her savior."
Who the fuck is Tara? And since when am I Jesus?
Nines must be confused.
Anyways, should we enlighten him, or use the chance to make amends with the Anarchs?
No need to befriend a barrel of fuel. It will only blow up, from even the smallest flame.
I agree, there is no benefit in gaining favor with a bunch of hobos.
But… But… I like Nine's voice!
I groan and kneel due to the pain, as a heated discussion about the charms and uses of Nines breaks out in my head. Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
"You ok, kiddo?", Nines asks me. I glance up to him and force myself to smile. "We're fully right. No worries for numbers.", I reply. "If you say so… Well, I gotta go, kiddo. See ya." I silently watch Nines, as he walks away.
Why would the Anarchs suddenly become friendly again? I can't help, but suspect a hidden agenda.
Bee being suspicious… How unusual. Normally you'd offer your trust to whoever would accept it.
What are you talking about? I'm not that stupid! Right, guys?
All my voices stay unusually quiet. I guess, that settles it. While Bee is still pouting, I head back to my haven.
I begin the next night with doing, what I should do: baking cupcakes. Ah, but first I need some ingredients. I visit the red spot closest to my haven. On the way to the red spot, I can feel the gazes of hidden eyes on me. This is often the case, but this night, the eyes feel too… hot and beating, I don't like it. Someone rings the bell as I walk through the doors of the spot of red. Listening to the sound of the bell is always my favorite part of visiting these red spots. As I stuff the mustard in my basket, the bell rings again. I shortly glance at the door. A cute girl with a blond bob cut and a pale dude with boorish brown hair entered, both mostly clothed in black leather. I ignore them and continue collecting my ingredients, while quietly humming a melody. Having found everything that I need, I trade the ingredients for a swipe with my card and head back to my haven.
Now I'll just quickly put on my swimsuit, so that I can simply take a shower in case I get dirty, and then I can begin!
Why make cupcakes, if you can't eat them?
BECAUSE. CUPCAKES! Motherfucking cupcakes!
That doesn't make any sense. You never make sense. Why is someone irrational like you making all the decisions for us?
Careful, Bee. Lèse majesté is punishable by death. And dying isn't fun, you know that. Wouldn't be your first time after all.
Still, who's going to eat all of that? How wasteful. Also, don't add ketchup to the dough, that's disgusting.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know nothing about making cupcakes, it seems. The ketchup is needed for the color. And even if we won't eat them, that's what pets are for, after all.
An hour later, I finally finished decorating my masterpieces. After admiring them for a bit, I take them to my little rainbow girl. "Who's a good girl? Huh, who's a good girl?", I say to her, as I dangle a cute cupcake in front of her. "Master! I didn't know, that you could cook. Is that for me?", she asks me with upturned eyes, while sitting in front of the sewing machine. She's been diligently working on some new clothes for the last few nights. "Then, do you expect me to eat?", I teasingly answer. She smiles at me wryly, as she shyly takes a bite. Her face freezes for a moment, before it undergoes various changes. She's neither swallowing, nor spiting it out.
I wonder, what's wrong? Finally, she manages to swallow it and then asks me, with tears in her eyes, "Master… Do I have to eat it?" I'm speechless.
She doesn't like it? How could that be? Those cupcakes look so delicious! Come to think of it, what's the worst that could happen, if I were to eat them?
Having to poop undigested cupcakes? That would be interesting… I resolutely take one cupcake and bite into it.
Wow, tastes like nothing. Kind of anticlimactic…
Two hours later, I finally stopped throwing up. Yep, that's probably the last time, that I try to eat pet food. Since I haven't eaten breakfast yet, I'm quite famished now. But that's what pets are for, after all. After sating my thirst with rainbow blood, I head out. Staying at home is boring. "Where to?", asks me my favorite superhero, as I sit down in the cab-mobile. "Isn't it too monotonous to always ask the same question? Why not ask for something else instead? Like 'What's your bra size?', or 'Can I have one of those cupcakes in your lunchbox?'. In both cases, my answer would be 'Yes, you can.'." Cab man only replies with a hard-to-detect smile. Talkative as always, huh. "Word on the street is, that woods belonging to Holly are full of people, who know how to appreciate beauty. Therefore, someone there should be able to appreciate my cute cupcakes, right?", I think out loud. Cab man silently steers his wheel towards the home of stars.
"Greetings, baron of treasures.", I greet Isaac, while making a curtsey. "You're finally back?", he asks me. His voice sounds kind of cold. Is he in a bad mood?
"Want a cupcake?", I try to cheer him up. "I tasted them earlier. They're delicious.", I add. His expression shows pure disgust, before his poker-face quickly returns. "You're a thin-blood?" What the fuck is a thin-blood? "What's that? Something eatable?", I return his question. "Thinbloods are kindred, but not quite. Their bloodline is too weak, resulting in them losing some of the properties of a true kindred. For example, some of them can eat, or are unable to embrace a child. According to rumors, there are even some, who are able to walk in sunlight.", he patiently explains to me. "We see. We can eat, but we have to vomit, if we do, so we won't eat.", I reply. "Well, no cupcake for the treasure baron then. Does the treasure baron want this instead?", I ask him, as I show him my bag, still full of blood bags.
Treasure baron raises an eyebrow upon seeing the blood bags. "So, you did remember your task at least. Though you're too late, if I may add. Considering your… special circumstances, I shall show you some benevolence and consider your mission accomplished nonetheless. Lucky for you, my stock was sufficient for the party." Oh, so the treasure lord was the quest giver. The coincidences always seem to be on my side, I must have a lucky toe or something. "It's a bit late, but welcome in my barony. Remember not to cause any trouble in my domain." And with this, the baron dismisses me.
Until now, I've only visited the Vesuvius in Holly's Wood, so I decide, that it is time to check out the other attractions. Close to the Vesuvius is a bin made for sin, and since I am Jesus (according to Nines), I naturally ought to go there and exorcise some demons out of the sinners.
Contrary to my expectations, I only find a sleazy old perv, sitting behind a counter and reading some magazine. There's a naked woman on the cover of the magazine, I guess the magazine is about anatomy? To be honest, I didn't expect sleaze-ball over there to be interested in anything related to medicine.
I start examining the merchandise. There are a lot of magazines, mostly about anatomy, but there are also Manga among the magazines. And apart from reading stuff, this shop also sells some weird toys, skin care products and underwear. This sure is a weird supermarket.
Among the toys, I discover something, that looks like a Sailor Moon wand. It is pink with a heart on top. The toy is a bit thick for a magic wand, but this way it's easier to grasp, I guess. The wand is even a bit curly, for better grip. "Excuse me? Mister sleaze-ball? I take this, please", I politely order the old perv.
For some reason, he keeps smiling at me creepily during my purchase. Ugh, creep.
This store also seems to have a basement, and there is no way, that I would ever miss out on searching through a basement, so I head downstairs after paying.
The basement isn't big, so it doesn't take long, until I have seen every square meter of it.
The most interesting thing about this basement are the tiny rooms. In every tiny room is only a chair and a metal window. The chairs and the walls beneath the metal windows are full of strange white stains for some reason. The chairs themselves are not very interesting, but if you throw a coin in a slit next to the metal window, then the metal window will open, and you can see a barely clothed female wiggling her jugs. Instead of a bra, the female is wearing tiny hats on her nipples.
And the tiny hats have threads attached, which whirl in circles due to the juggling. Watching the threads whirl is so hypnotic, I can' help but follow the whirling with my head as well. A few minutes later, the metal window suddenly closes. Oh well, I have watched the tiny hats long enough.
My next stop is the Asp Hole, the former home of some stupid fire-bird, according to the snakes hiding in a hole behind its neon sign. I don't care about the past, but the snakes couldn't tell me the name of the current owner. They don't know the name of their own landlord, yet they still call others stupid…
Well, birds are known for having small brains, so they're probably right.
The inside of the Asp Hole is filled with those pretentious wannabe-stars and failed actors. There are those, who acted in children's movies and want to act in movies for adults, and those, who acted in adult movies and want to act in movies also suitable for children. And among all those people… Snakes!
Snakes, crawling from the wall and snakes chilling on the tables. My sight follows the snakes crawling from the wall upwards, and despite being a lover of snakes, I take a step back in panic. The ceiling is packed to the brim with hundreds of snakes wriggling and worming around. From time to time, snakes fall off, resulting in the snakes chilling on the table. The snakes on the wall don't seem very keen on mingling with people, they stay away from the floor.
I walk towards one of the tables, where a snake fell onto, and slowly stretch my hand out towards its head. The snake notices me, but stays put, as I carefully stroke its head. I see, so the snakes are friendly. Satisfied with the results of my experiment, I retract my hand and continue my way to the dance floor.
Imitating the snakes meandering around, I start swaying my hips to the beat. My snake-dance manages to hypnotize a little morsel, a brown haired, young 'Johnny Depp'- imitation (and a poor one at that) with grey eyes. I spin around and extent my arm in his direction and swirl my hand, gesturing him to come closer in a dancing manner. We dance close to each other, but not touching, for a while, before he leans towards me, and with his lips next to my ear, he asks me, "Can I buy you a drink?" Can he buy me a drink? He IS my drink! Well, at least he will be. Hopefully. He doesn't seem as slutty as the other morsels I managed to seduce until now, but he should be slutty enough. "You may. I'd like something fancy.", I purr in response. A moment later, a colorful cocktail is placed in front of me.
I stare at it in awe, not only because of its magnificent appearance, but also because Depp-imitation somehow managed to closely miss the head of the snake sleeping on the table. A mojito is placed next to my cocktail, and my eyes dart back to Depp-imitation. He smiles at me, and I return the smile.
Alright, I somehow have to act normal now, otherwise my fancy vomit-tonic will be the only drink I get from him.
"Did you know, that it is forbidden by law to play Frisbee on the Los Angeles beach, without the lifeguard's permission?", I ask him with upturned eyes.
Confusion covers his face. Shit. "Uhm, want to break the law with me?", I add, still playing it cool. His expression turns back into a flirty one, as he replies with a husky voice, "You want to play with me?" Yes, I know the normal answer to that question! "Like a toddler with Play-Doh." What? Why does he look weirded out now?
But I didn't come unprepared after all. I take out my beloved feather duster from its holster under my fluffy skirt and dust off his memories a bit.
"Do kittens like milk?", I purr. Cleaning always makes me thirsty, I hope this time it works. "Yeah? Well I got some milk for you to li- uh, no, I mean… err…" Depp-imitation is suddenly completely flustered for some reason, and desperately tries to take back his words. But I won't let him.
"I'd LOVE to lick your milk!" Your delicious, juicy, red milk. "Wha? Uh, I mean, yeah?" "Yeah", I whisper in his ear, while softly stroking his arm. "Wanna go somewhere… more private?", he whispers back, his voice tainted by desire. "Lead the way.", I order him sweetly.
I follow my little morsel to the Luckee Star Motel, and we book a room. It's truly a waste of funny paper, but it's not my funny paper, so I won't complain. Hehe, female privilege. When booking the room, I notice how empty the lobby of the residence of lucky stars is. Apart from us, my morsel and the slightly haggard woman with curly black hair, who guards the entrance, no one else was in sight. Maybe I should take the woman as dessert. I love dessert.
I continue following the morsel into the room, even though I could take him right now, since no one is here. But then again, nasty eyes are always watching, but not always seen.
Inside, he starts passionately kissing me, and I return the kiss, since I've already decided to take my time savoring this sweet little dish. I help him undressing his t-shirt, and lightly push him onto the bed, before I start stripping, until only my underwear is left, while he enjoys the show.
Uhm, do we have to strip? Why not just get over with it?
Come to think of it, where the fuck is my apron? Don't tell me, I forgot wearing it? Having finished undressing, I jump on him and start sucking on his neck, carefully and without slicing his skin. While continuing kissing, and sucking on his neck, my hand starts crawling towards his trousers, searching for the button and unbuttoning it. Wait, don't go any further than this! Please don't!
I slide down from his body and watch him provocatively, as he hurriedly and a bit clumsily strips. Even I can tell, that it has been a looong time, since he last played cops and robbers with a woman.
Well, that explains how you managed to seduce him.
Being eaten has nothing to do with sex? Oh wait, it does in China.
Having finished undressing, he rolls over to me and presses me under his body, as he continues exploring my mouth with his tongue.
STOP! This is too much! Get him off of me! GET HIM OFF!
But I won't have any of that. I hug him tightly, while pushing him around, switching our positions back to me being on top. Why? Because I'm the boss, biatch!
I lick his neck again, since I enjoy feeling the beat of his heart on my tongue and then continue kissing him, leaving a trail of kisses on his body, until I reach his hip.
I use the tip of my tongue to search for the inner hip artery and my fangs immediately pierce his flesh, after I found it.
Why, of all places, would you choose this one to suck his blood?!
As I slowly suck his blood, my little morsel is moaning in pleasure, thereby silencing any noises made by me. Taking my time in preparing the dish, truly was worth it, as his blood tastes so much sweeter, due to being dyed in lust. Having finished my meal, I lick his wound clean, until the bite marks disappear. As I watch my little dish cutely sleeping, I suddenly remember, that according to Jeanette this thing humans do, if they want to reproduce, can still be done after dying. Maybe I should have tried that with little dish, just for the experience. But then again, it would be hard to do that, given how annoying Bee was, when I played with little dish.
