Paddy was woken by someone knocking at the front door, he looked at the his bedside clock, it was 7.40am. Putting on his dressing gown he went out onto the landing and down the stairs. Opening the door he saw PC Haith standing on the other side, he invited him into the kitchen were the officer told him what he had come to say.
Shutting the door after the officer, Paddy made his way back up the stairs and found a sleepy Aaron waiting for him. "Who was it?" he asked yawning.
"The police," said Paddy, "is Jackson awake?" he asked as he popped his head round the door.
"Yes I am," said an equally sleepy Jackson before Aaron could answer.
"He hasn't slept much," said Aaron looking at his boyfriend, Jackson glared at him but Aaron ignored him, "what did they want Dad."
Paddy took a breath. "They've picked up Matt," he waited for a reaction from Jackson but there wasn't one, so he continued, "he was on a ferry ready to sail to France."
Jackson looked up, "so the police have him."
Paddy nodded. "Good," said Jackson as he turned over and pulled the duvet over him. Paddy and Aaron looked at each other.
"I'll leave you to it," said Paddy and left the room.
Aaron walked over to the bed, sat down, "Jackson."
"It's over now," said Jackson from under the duvet. "I hope he rots in jail."
"No you don't, you don't think like that."
Jackson turned round slowly and sat up, he looked into the blue eyes of his gorgeous boyfriend, he knows he should talk to Aaron, he wanted to, he hated feeling like this he knew it wasn't like him and he wanted these feelings to stop. Running his fingers through his hair he started to talk. "I don't like that I am thinking like this, I don't think I have hated anyone in my life, not even my dad when he hit me and told me I disgusted him, but what he did….I can't forgive him."
Aaron pulled himself across the bed so he was sat in front of Jackson. "No one expects you to forgive him, what he did to you was awful."
"Us," said Jackson, "what he did to us."
"Okay, what he did to us, but I don't want you to forget who you are, what makes you so special. You care about people Jackson, you worry about people. I don't want this to eat at you and change you," he paused and took Jackson's hand in his, "I want my Jackson back, but I feel like I'm losing him."
"I'm trying, I really am."
Aaron leaned forward and kissed Jackson. "I know you are, and I'm gonna help you," he kissed Jackson again then got up off the bed and headed for the door.
"Where you going?" asked Jackson moving to the side of the bed.
"The toilet," he said as he opened the door and shut it behind him.
Jackson sat and looked around the room suddenly feeling the emptiness of it. He could feel himself starting to panic, he knew that he wasn't alone and that all he had to do was shout out and someone would come running, but the sense of dread he felt was too much, he took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. As soon as Aaron came back into the room, Jackson flew off the bed and flung himself at him.
"Don't leave me," he said sobbing. Aaron was stunned, "Jackson, I was only across the landing."
"You were gone ages, I thought you'd left."
Aaron tried to prise Jackson from him but he only held on tighter. "Jackson, I was gone no more than a minute, come on sit down will ya." Jackson reluctantly let Aaron sit him down on the bed.
"What's wrong Jackson," he asked. Jackson was gripping his hand with both of his. "I'm sorry."
Aaron shook his head. "Stop saying your sorry, just tell me what happened."
Jackson looked at him. "When….when you walked out the door, I don't know, I just started to panic. I thought you'd left me and you weren't coming back."
Aaron couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Jackson…."
"I know I'm being stupid, but that's what happened and that's how I felt, you keep telling me to say what's going on in my head, well that's what's going on. Ever since…" he just looked down.
"Ever since what?"
"Since two members of my family hate me and walked out on me."
Aaron was beginning to understand. "Hey," he said cupping Jackson's face, "I'm not going to leave you, I'm here for the long haul."
"That's what everyone says."
Aaron was getting frustrated now. "Listen to me, you will always have me, your mum and my dad, hell even Bob and Pearl think the world of ya. Your never going to be alone Jackson, never, do you hear me."
Tears where falling down Jackson's cheeks and Aaron brushed them away with his hands. "I've got to go and get ready for work now," Jackson's hands gripped tight on Aaron's again, but Aaron reassured him again. "Your mum's here and my dad will be in the surgery all day, your not gonna be on your own." Jackson slowly let go of Aaron. "Okay," he said.
They talked as Aaron got ready and Jackson was starting to feel more comfortable, he put on some clothes as well so he could go downstairs and have breakfast with Aaron before he went to work.
The smell of fried food drifted up the stairs as they descended into the kitchen, they looked at each other, "your mum's definitely back," said Aaron. Jackson laughed, "she does like feeding people."
"Morning my darlings," said Hazel as the boys came into the kitchen.
"Morning," said Aaron as he grabbed a piece of toast off the side.
"Morning mum."
"How are you feeling this morning?" she asked.
"I'm good thanks, did Paddy tell you about Matt," he said sitting at the table.
Hazel nodded, "he did."
Aaron picked up another piece of toast, "is dad still upstairs?"
"No, he's just nipped into the surgery, I'm making him a full English and I've put extra in for you boys, you need to keep your strength up."
Aaron shook his head, "just toasts for me thanks, I've got to get to work."
"What about a drink," she asked.
"I'll get one at the garage," he moved closer to Hazel, "you'll stay with Jackson, won't you, don't leave him."
"No worry's love, I'll take care of our boy." Aaron smiled and kissed Hazel on the cheek, "I don't know what we've done without you." She smiled back at her son's boyfriend, he had come along way from the lad she had first known, he really was maturing into a wonderful young man.
Aaron turned to Jackson, he leaned on the table and was about to kiss Jackson when Jackson spoke. "You were whispering about me, weren't you?"
"So," said Aaron as he kissed him, "you're my favourite subject."
Jackson smiled. "Are you coming home for lunch," he asked.
"Yes, I'll see you later," he kissed Jackson again, "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bye Hazel."
"Bye love."
Jackson watched as Aaron picked his jacket off the chair and went out the door, he got up and went to the window and watched him walk to work. He felt a hand on his back, "he's only down the road love."
"I know."
"Come on, sit down and have some breakfast. I'm just going through to get Paddy." Jackson watched Aaron till he was out of sight then sat down and started to eat the breakfast that his mum had put on the table.
Hazel came back in and was happy to see Jackson eating, "how's your arm, do you need any painkillers," she asked as she sat at the table and started eating her own breakfast. He shook his head.
"Morning," said Paddy as he walked in. Jackson smiled. Paddy's eyes widened when he saw the food waiting for him, he could make a good breakfast, but Hazel's fry up was better than any he had ever had, he sat down and tucked in. "Hazel," he said with a mouthful of food, "have I already told you that we've missed you."
She laughed. "Several times."
They ate in silence and Jackson knew that they kept looking at him and he couldn't blame them with how he has been the last few days. He knew they expected him to fall apart and he was trying so hard not to. He was missing Aaron already and in the back of his head he still had the fear that he wouldn't come back. He looked at his mum and Paddy. "Will I have to go to court.?"
"I don't know," said Paddy, "but we don't have to talk about this yet, it may not even happen."
Jackson nodded and went back to his food, he was actually enjoying his breakfast, he couldn't believe how hungry he was.
Hazel and Paddy looked at each other, both of them hoping that Jackson wouldn't have to give evidence, they didn't want Jackson put through anymore stress than he had already been through. They didn't know what seeing Matt again would do to him.
A&J
The rest of the morning had been uneventful, Hazel had nagged at Jackson until he had let her change the dressing on his arm. He had spent most of the morning sat in the living room watching daytime tv, which wasn't that good but his mum seemed to like it. She had offered to walk down to the garage with him to see Aaron but he had refused saying he was too tired.
Aaron popped in at lunchtime and Hazel noticed how Jackson had changed as soon as Aaron had walked through the door, he seemed more cheerful and he had made Aaron and himself a couple of sandwiches, cheese and pickle for Aaron and a tuna one for himself. Hazel left them to it as they talked about what they had been doing that morning, Aaron had dealt with a difficult customer who had said that they hadn't fixed his car properly, but Aaron had soon put him straight with Cain for backup. Jackson just sat listening to his boyfriend talk, he felt so much better when Aaron was around and he wouldn't admit it to Aaron, but he was so relieved when he walked back through the door.
"I've got to get back," said Aaron getting up, "why don't you walk me to work."
"No your alright, I'll stay here and tidy up," he said turning away, he didn't want Aaron worrying about him anymore than he already was. Aaron watched him start to clear up, he knew the next step was to get Jackson out of the house, he would wait till after work and then he would suggest it again, the longer they left it the worse it would be. He walked up to Jackson at the sink, slipped his arms round his waist and laid his chin on his shoulder. "Thanks for lunch," he said. "Anytime," Jackson said as he turned round and captured Aaron's lips in a kiss, the kiss was loving but knowing that he had to go Aaron pulled back from Jackson, "if you keep kissing me like that I'm not gonna be able to keep my mind on my job this afternoon, I've got to go, I don't want Cain coming in here dragging me out." He kissed Jackson quickly and left.
A&J
Hazel had made shepherds pie for dinner and a treacle sponge for pudding, Paddy, Aaron and Jackson all ate as if they hadn't had a decent meal in months and Hazel loved watching her family enjoying her food so much. After they had finished Paddy and Hazel said they would clear up, so Aaron and Jackson, feeling stuffed, went upstairs to their bedroom.
Sitting on their bed talking, Aaron decided to bring up the subject of going out. "I feel like a walk, what about you?" Jackson looked at him, but Aaron couldn't read what he was thinking.
"I…I don't know Aaron, what if it happens again."
Aaron took hold of Jackson's hand, "if it does we'll deal with it." Aaron was trying to look positive but Jackson didn't look so sure.
"Look," said Aaron, "we'll go for a walk up to the top field, we won't go near the woolpack, it will just be us two, okay."
Jackson looked down at Aaron's hand holding his, he knew he had to try, he was tired of feeling afraid. Looking up, he smiled and nodded. Aaron smiled and kissed him before pulling him off the bed.
Hazel was still in the kitchen when they got downstairs. "We're going out for a bit," said Aaron. She looked at Jackson and she could tell that he wasn't too happy about it, but she didn't want to interfere, she had to trust that Aaron knew what he was doing.
They put on their jackets and went to the front door. "Aaron," said Jackson, "I don't think.."
"Jackson, look at me. I'm with you, nothing is going to happen." Aaron reached out for Jackson's hand and Jackson looked at it before he placed his hand in Aaron's who opened the door and stepped out. Jackson stood and took a few deep breaths, he felt Aaron squeeze his hand and he looked at him. He didn't think he could love anyone right now as much as he loved the man stood in front of him. He had been a rock for him over the last few days and he was determined not to let him down. He slowly stepped out of the house, his heart was pounding in his chest but he was going to do this for Aaron and for himself. He was feeling anxious walking down the path, but the evening sun felt nice on his face and he smiled.
"Are you okay?"
"As long as your with me, I'll be fine."
"You've got no worries there."
They walked towards the gate that led into the nearest field and went through, Aaron wanted to keep Jackson away from the village, he didn't want people coming up to Jackson and mentioning what had happened. Looking at Jackson as they walked, he could tell that he was feeling abit uncomfortable, but he could also see the determination in his eyes.
"What?" asked Jackson as they kept walking.
"Just thinking."
"About what?"
"You, me, us. A couple of years ago I would have never considered walking around holding another man's hand," he pulled Jackson towards him, "and kissing a man," he said as he kissed him. They continued on with their walk, talking about anything and everything, Jackson was feeling so much better and was really glad that Aaron had pushed him to come out for this walk.
"How's the arm?"
"It's not too bad, mum changed the dressing this morning, but I haven't had any tablets, the pains not that bad."
Aaron smiled. "Are you still mad at me for telling her about what happened."
"No, my mum's great. I should have never doubted that she would always be on my side." They had made their way to the cricket pitch and they were now sat on the steps of the pavilion.
Jackson went quiet, he was thinking about Matt, Aaron noticed the change in Jackson and he knocked himself against him. "Your thinking again."
Jackson nodded. "What's going to happen now? Will there be a trial?"
Aaron shrugged. "Possibly."
"That means that I might have to give evidence and see him again," he said putting his head in his hands.
Aaron put his hand on Jackson's back and rubbed up and down. "Hey, you can do this, if this does go to court we'll deal with it together," secretly Aaron hoped it wouldn't go to court, but he also knew it was a definite possibility. "Come on, let's get you home."
They got up and walked back to Smithy Cottage, Aaron proud of his boyfriend for getting over his fear and Jackson thinking about what would be in store for them in the next few weeks.
tbc
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