Chapter 11
For a few seconds, she wondered if she got it right and she repeated that sentence in her mind many times before realising that he really said that. He told he loved her. Him. Ben. That fascinating man, whose exact age she didn't even know, who'd already been married... He said he loved an inexpert and confused kid like her.
She couldn't believe that everything happening to her was so perfect and so idyllic, to the point of making her forget that the world was in war and that their lives were constantly in danger. She smiled to that man who didn't even seem to expect an answer from her, but who looked at her with dreaming eyes, proud of what he'd just said.
Then something ripped off the smile from both of their faces. Ben widened his eyes, grabbed her hand and rushed to turn off the lamp; but first he shushed her by pressing his lips against his lips.
So, she hadn't just made it up: she'd actually heard some steps crunching in the gravel. There was someone in the building's yard.
Viktoria stared the window with tears and terror in her eyes, then she went back looking at Ben. He was looking up too, terrorized. But after all, he turned to her and he held her.
The step noise was going on, but it didn't sounded like a soldier's walk. It sounded like a cripple trudging with uneven pace and, listening better, they could even hear him groaning. Gargly noises which made them both suppose that it was a wounded man. Suddenly, Viktoria looked at Ben with a completely different gaze.
He could have been a Jew, someone who had been running away, maybe he needed help, maybe...
Ben didn't leave her time to think further; he started shaking his head firmly, once he understood what she was thinking about. But in her veins ran her mother's blood and if there was someone she could do something for, she wouldn't stayed there waiting around. She felt his grip pressing on her arms, but as he worried of hurting her, he let her go and he couldn't do anything but stay and look at Viktoria climbing on the unsteady table.
She raised on tiptoes and she peeked from the dirty glass through which she couldn't see almost anything. But the sound of the steps had stopped: now just a suffering moaning could be heard in a little distance from the point where the little window faced on the yard. There he was: in the corner, she could barely see a man leaning on the wall, but it was too dark to understand if he was a Jew.
She felt a touch on her leg and in the moment she turned, she saw Ben shaking his head again, reaching out his hand to call her for coming down. The table rocked dangerously, when a scream echoed in their ears, making their blood run. "This way!" someone shouted in a strong German accent.
It was only in that moment that Viktoria realised the actual danger they were in. She came down from the table, almost throwing herself in Ben's arms, who caught her in his arms.
None of them wanted to look up any more, to the window. Both of them were trying to find comfort in each other, but in their eyes they could only read a fear they'd never experienced before: now they were taking the risk of losing more then their lives.
They heard more people running in the yard. They were yelling, everyone was yelling, and a man was crying. Viktoria didn't know what to do but pull out the crucifix she was wearing and hold it in her hands, with her heart in her throat and the tears burning her eyes. Ben didn't dare to move a muscle, he was barely blinking.
It almost seemed like he was looking at her for the last time in his life.
The screaming raised, it seemed like they were getting closer and closer to them but then a moment of silence was torn by a sudden shoot. Viktoria slightly winced, but Ben pressed his hand against her mouth. He felt it wetting in tears, but he moved it as soon as he realised that, although she was clearly shocked, she wouldn't never done something to draw the German's attention.
After they heard the soldiers dragging the body outside the yard, they didn't dare talking for long minutes. They just stayed staring each other in the eyes: Viktoria with the crucifix twisted in her hands, joined in a silent prayer; Ben who seemed to have just got slapped dozens of times.
He finally convinced himself to be safe and he lowered his eyes on the girl's hands. He could imagine what she was hiding in there, but he wanted to see it with his own eyes, like he was drew by an instinct he couldn't suppress. He kindly stroke her hand and she showed him the silver jewel.
At first, he was almost uninterested, but as he touched it, he immediately had to let it go to put his hands on his head.
"Ben!" Viktoria exclaimed, keeping her tone low. "Are you okay?"
"It's just... A headache..." he murmured, rubbing his temple.
"Lay down." she suggested, walking him to the bed. She enlightened the lamp again, keeping the light low and putting it on the ground as a further precaution, illuminating just the bottom area of the room.
Everything that had just happened, let her with her head full of worries. The chances that her father found out her night escape had exponentially raised. Even if there wasn't a body to move, someone would have told him about the fact: she just hoped that it would have happened the day after, when she would have been home. But most of all, she felt that man's life on her shoulders, even if she couldn't have done anything for helping him. But the man she could help was right there, next to her.
Although Ben had that angelic creature sitting next to him, lovingly caressing his forehead, he couldn't help but keeping look at the cross dangling in front of his face. That item inexplicably attracted him. He even started to wish that Viktoria gave it to him, because he desperately wanted to wear it. Yet, it wasn't a symbol of his faith, and he didn't even like the style... He touched it again. This time he managed to handle it for a few seconds, before another headache drew him away from his purpose to gaze at that item.
He hissed, forced to close his eyes because of the pain.
"Don't worry." Viktoria reassured him, keeping control of the situation. "You're probably a little stressed. A lot of things happened." she'd almost forgotten why she went down there in first place. But she surely hadn't forgotten what he confessed her before.
"Ben, I..." she was about to say. After all, she owed him an answer.
"Where... Where did you find that crucifix?" he asked him, tormented. Viktoria straightened her back, grabbing the jewel and looking at it.
"This? My grandmother gave it to me." she replied, confused. In a moment like that, why did he care so much about an item he'd never seen before?
He shook his head.
"I think it comes from somewhere far away." he stated confidently.
"Well, I don't know where it comes from exactly, but..."
"Will you do me a favour?" he asked, interrupting her again. Viktoria bit her tongue to stop the river of words she would have poured on him about her doubts regarding the crucifix. She nodded.
"Take it off and lay with me." he smiled at her mischievously, holding her hand.
The girl suddenly turned red. She didn't think that man could be so cheeky and above all she'd never seen that face, but strangely that thing didn't bother her. It was quite the opposite: she felt an excitement she'd never felt before. Was something about to happen? After all, she couldn't find anything wrong in that situation.
She took off the crucifix slowly, putting it on the table, then she snuggled beside him. She tried to keep the distances, she didn't want him to think that she used to do those things with men. She stayed on the edge of the bed, but the scene appeared a little ridiculous, and even Ben noticed that. He giggled and embraced her waist, dragging her to him.
He got close to kiss her, but he didn't do it. He was there, at the point of putting his lips against hers, but he just looked at her with narrowed eyes, a few centimetres from her face and that got Viktoria desiring that kiss like water in the desert, so much that she thought she would have gone crazy in waiting. She wondered if he was making her suffer on purpose, if it was just a game to him, an experiment to see how much she would have lasted... And the answer, in any case, would have been: very little time.
After some endless seconds, it was her to kiss him, finally tasting that feeling she'd desired so much. She would've never thought that wanting it so much, she would've enjoyed it more. He hugged her and with agile move, made her roll underneath him.
From her lips he went to her ear, he nibbled her earlobe, making her moaning in pleasure, then he went down on her neck. To making it easier, he unbuttoned the top buttons of the blouse in a second, so fast that Viktoria didn't even realise he was trying to do that until she felt his beard rubbing her chest. Her wheezing turned into a thrill when she realised what was about to happen.
"Ben!" she murmured, gently pushing him back.
He looked at her. He was lost, and she looked him back with the same confused gaze. It wasn't him any more. His look, his attitude, those confident movements... She couldn't recognise the man she thought he was. She'd imagined him as a passionate romantic, but she wouldn't believe he was so daring and resolute.
Then she saw him come to his senses. He shook his head, appalled, he ran a hand through his hair.
"I'm sorry, I... I don't know what..." he babbled, falling back on the bed and staring at the ceiling.
Viktoria smiled. She shouldn't have done that, but an instinct take the advantage, and she found herself feeling an incredible attraction to that lost man who had just made her feel things she wouldn't be able to describe. And she wouldn't have never described to anyone, after all.
It was a secret between them, one of many. It was a thing that would've stayed in that basement. For once, she could've been another persone.
"I didn't tell you to stop." she whispered. He suddenly turned, surprised.
"But..." he tried to reply.
"I've stopped you just to say that I love you too."
