Later that night I remembered laying on Edward's couch and reading a book, the rest of the Cullen's had gone to bed and were probably making love, well that was true because I could hear them.
"Are you bored Bella?" Edward asked as he stepped into the room. He was only wearing boxers right now. He didn't know how much this was affecting me. He was turned away from me and looking for something in his closet. He was probably doing this just to see if I would be looking. I turned away and continued to read my book.
"No I'm not bored," In fact that was a total lie. I was as bored as all get out, there had to be something else that we could. Since I was to stubborn to admit that I had a thing for Edward, we didn't have anything to do.
"You sure? Because I could go downstairs and put a movie in if you wished Bella?" He said turning back around. I tired not to notice how incredibly handsome he looked wearing just boxers. I shook my head back and forth.
"No, I don't really want to sit and watch a two hour long movie, I want to go out and do something," I closed the book and got up and put it back in the right spot.
"Do you want to go out running?" He asked me again. I could feel him getting close to me. I thought back to the kiss that we had shared. I didn't bring it up because I was going to blame that whole thing on the wine.
I shook my head. I didn't want to run around aimlessly with nothing to run to or run after.
"Well, how about I take you hunting," Edward offered me. I looked at him and he looked dead serious.
"You mean taking me to hunt, animals?" I questioned. I remembered when he had asked me to go hunting with him before. I didn't really like animal blood. It didn't satisfy me.
" Well Bella, I want you to be as much like this family as possible and if that's going to happen, then I'm going to have to teach you how to like the taste of animal blood. I know it's not that great, but don't you think it's better than killing humans?" He looked into my red eyes and I couldn't help but look down at the thought of me killing innocent humans just for my own thirst.
"You don't have to be like them anymore Bella," He brought my face up with his fingers. He continued to stare into my eyes. I was taken away. He started to move closer to me.
"No Edward, I can't" I pulled away from him. I couldn't let him kiss me again, the first time was enough.
"Why not Bella?" He asked as I moved away. "That kiss downstairs was the most breathtaking, thing that I have ever experienced in a long time, I know that you liked it because your the one who pressed your lips to mine the third time," I turned to him and glared.
"Need I remind you that I was drunk and I have no idea what your talking about?" I shot back. His lips turned up into a smile.
"Don't try and pull that one on me, I know that you wanted to kiss me, that last kiss was all you Bella," he kept that grin.
"Edward that kiss didn't mean anything to me, it was a bad kiss anyways, so there you have it, it meant nothing to me," I turned away ready to jump out the window and go hunting.
"Well it meant something to me," I turned back around to glare at him. Was he just saying this so it would make me feel bad. "Even though you were drunk, I felt something in that kiss and I knew at that moment that you wanted me, that you actually really liked me and that you had feelings for me and you cared about me," I was inching closer as he spoke this to me. "Well Bella, I kissed you back because I have feelings for you," He brought his hand up and brushed some stray hair away from my face. "You don't know how bad it hurts when those feelings aren't returned," He whispered in my face. I was drawn to him, like a magnet. I let out a breath of air. He knew what kind of an effect he had on me. Then him standing here in his boxers wasn't helping much.
"Isabella, your beautiful now, but I don't think I can wait until your eyes are golden like mine," He grinned and pulled away. He was leading me on thinking that he was going to say something deep, but he didn't. I growled and he went and threw some clothes on quickly. I didn't give him any time. I jumped out the window and ran as fast as I could to get away from him. If he thought that I was going to hunt with him, then he was mistaken. I stopped pretty sure that I was far enough away from him. I sighed and leaned against a nearby tree.
"Gotcha," He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down onto him.
I gasped, for I didn't see this coming. He chuckled as I pushed myself off of him.
"Don't do that Edward, you scared me," I growled. For a split second I thought that was Aro, but it wasn't when he grabbed me from around the waist and I knew it was him because he was acting like a child.
"Sorry Bella, but don't think that you can run away from me," He stood and brushed himself off. "So are we going to go hunting or what, I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty thirsty," Edward patted his stomach. I just rolled my eyes and tried to catch a scent. I picked up something and I was off. Edward didn't follow because he must have known that I was on the hunt. I knew what it was, it smelled delicious. Human male taking a walk in the woods for the morning.
I was going to get my meal for today, the burning in my throat was to much for me to handle. I was about to launch myself at him, but I was held back.
"Bella what are you doing?" Edward asked as he held my arms behind my back.
"I'm hunting, now let go," I struggled to break free of his grasp. He was strong and would not let me go.
"Bella, stop this, stop it right now," He said this with a stern voice. I stopped jerking and looked at him. He was dead serious and there was an angered look on his face. I sighed and relaxed and watched as my meal walked away. "Bella you are going to have to learn to not want that taste of human blood anymore, alright? Now we are going to hunt together until you can get your thirst under control," He said this to me like a father would say to his daughter. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Now Bella, a little ways east, there is a mountain lion, do you think you can take it on your own?" He asked me. I looked at him, giving him that stare that said "Do I look like I'm dumb"
"I can do it and I don't need your help," I was about to walk off before he caught my arm.
"Don't even think about chasing after that human Bella, it's not worth it and you don't want to be like that anymore remember, you want to forget about that taste and just focus on the lion," I listened to his every word and he was right, there was no way that I would be able to get to the human, not when Edward was with me. I knew how easily he could stop me. I ran after the mountain lion and before I knew it I had it pinned to the ground and I was sucking it dry. I sighed. That was a lot better. My thirst had died down for the time being.
I found Edward. He was drinking out of a bear.
"Show off," I rolled my eyes. He stood and walked closer to me. I caught a scent on him that was screaming for my attention. "Edward you have a little bit left on your fingers," My mouth watered as I saw the red droplets drip from his finger tips down onto the ground. I couldn't help but step forward. He brought up his hand in silence and I took hold of his wrist and placed the first finger in my mouth. It tasted so good. Even though it was animal blood, it was the closest thing to human blood. I licked his finger and sucked it dry. I put the next finger in my mouth and licked it and sucked it until all the blood was gone.
I was pulled out of my blood drinking frenzy when I heard a groan come from Edward. I looked up to see that his eyes were closed and then when I looked down, and finally back at the fingers in my mouth I realized what I had just done. I had just turned Edward on with my finger sucking.
"Whoops, Sorry Edward," I mumbled and pulled away. His eyes were black again as he pushed me up against a tree.
"Bella," He growled as his mouth attacked my neck. I was taken aback by this. What had come over Edward and why was my body reacting to his touches. "I promised myself something," He growled as he pressed himself up against me even more. I groaned at the close contact.
"What was that?" I asked as Edward's hands slid up my arms and pulled them up and over my head. I moaned. Was Edward going to have his way with me. I don't think I would mind that, but I didn't know if I was really ready for it.
"I promised myself that I would do things the old fashioned way, I wanted to go slow with you Bella, but your making that extremely difficult for me," He looked desperate.
"Edward I don't know," I sighed against him as he kissed down my throat and over the top of my breasts that were sticking out of his shirt. I was on fire right now. Edward could probably see that by now.
"Bella please, I don't know how much more rejection I can take from you," He took one of my hands and placed it over his nonbeating heart. My breath caught in my throat. This was the most serious conversation that I've ever had with him. "Bella, if this was beating, it'd be beating for you. I don't know how to live without you Bella, I don't know what else to say to you to get you to understand how much I care for you," Edward spoke up. This really got me. Was he going to admit his true feelings for me. I looked down at the ground, but he didn't allow it, he took my face in his hands and forced me to look into his eyes.
"Don' t you look away Bella," He spoke. "Why don't you just admit to me how much you need me, how much you really care for me Bella," His breath caressed my lips. I didn't know what to say.
"I can't," I mumbled. I didn't want him to know. I didn't want to live with that pain when Aro came for me.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you with all my soul and I will be damned if you do not tell me how you feel, if you don't feel the same way about me, I will just walk away, leave let you be a stubborn stuck up woman who doesn't want to show her feelings," Edward yelled now. He was starting to scare me, but I couldn't deny the fact that he was right and my body warmed from him telling me that he loved me. Could I tell him that I loved him too. "Tell me Bella, what do you want from me?" he asked once more. I was speechless.
"I don't want you to go," I whispered relaxing. Both of our desires had been hidden once more.
"What do you want us to act like best friends, like brother and sister, because Bella, that kiss that you gave me was something more," He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I know you love me, you just don't want to say it," He moved back after giving me the chills. "You don't need to worry Bella, I will never hurt you and I never will. I promise," He pulled me into his arms and wrapped them around me. I sighed in relief glad that he told me he loved me. I rested my head against his shoulder. It smelled of him and it smelled so good.
"Thank you Edward," I mumbled into his clothes.
I didn't know if Edward knew it or not but my wall of stubbornness was slowly crumbling and I was allowing Edward into my heart and maybe he didn't know it, but I was starting to give it to him, my heart and my love. I loved him, I really did and I loved that warm feeling I got when I thought about it too.
We ran back to the house and it sounded like everyone was done with the sex for the night, now it was the cuddling and the holding and loving. Deep down inside I secretly wanted that from Edward. He would probably get cocky when I told him I wanted that. Maybe he would lead that on to sex.
"Edward, uh," I thought this through. He looked up from a c.d that he was glancing at as he was laying on his couch.
"Do you want to watch a movie now?" I was kind of nervous about asking him this, but I was experimenting right now with my own emotions.
His face brightened and he stood from his laying position. "That sounds like a really good idea Bella, I would love that," He came over to my side and put his arm around my waist and pulled my body to his side. I coughed and looked down. "What's the matter Bella, do you not like it when I do that?" He asked as he turned his head and nuzzled his face into my hair. I didn't say anything. I pulled away from him and smiled.
"Don't get to comfy Edward," I smiled and dashed down the steps and jumped over the back of the couch and landed on the soft cushions. Edward landed next to me.
"So Isabella, what are we going to be watching?" He asked nicely as he slowly put an arm around me. I peeled it back and rest it on his lap.
"I was thinking that we could watch Transformers, you like that movie don't you Edward?" I asked getting up and looking for the movie.
"The movies are under that t.v, you have to bend down to get them Bella," Edward called to me from the couch. I growled and threw the nearest thing to me back at him. I didn't hear a thud, so I figured that he caught it. Hands were at my waist and I gasped as they moved down to my hips. Edward pulled my backside against his front. I turned around at him and was about to shout a smart remark, but I didn't because his eyes were closed and he was groaning with pleasure. I didn't understand why until I realized where my hand was. I took my hand away and pulled away from him. What was going on with me today. It was Edward's fault.
"What was your hand doing down there Bella?" He asked nicely as I put the movie in.
I didn't speak to him. Actually I had no idea how my hand under up on his penis, but it did. Thankfully we were both clothed. I took a seat on the couch and Edward walked over to the lights.
"Would you rather them be dimmed or all the way off?" He asked me. They were dimmed right now.
"Just turn them off Edward," I spat back and relaxed on the couch. Morning was going to be coming shortly. It was funny how time didn't really matter anymore. I didn't have anything that I needed to do. I could spend all my time with Edward and his family.
"Okay if that's where you want to go," He turned them off and landed on the couch next to me. He pulled me closer to him. I liked the fact at how close we were, but I wasn't just going to let him do whatever he wanted. If he wanted me and wanted me to love him and tell him that I loved him, well then he was going to have to earn it. I scooted away to the far end of the couch and pressed my body against the arm of it.
"Come on Bella, you don't have to be that way, I was just trying to make you comfortable," Edward didn't move, but I didn't like him whining while I was trying to watch a movie.
"All you had to do was ask Edward, you don't even think, you just act," I stared at him with anger in my eyes. I thought things through for a moment.
"Can you come and sit next to me?" He asked. I laughed.
"Like I said Edward, you should have asked before you acted," I crossed my arms over my chest. I was going to need some more clothes or go shopping. I couldn't go around wearing Edward's shirt all the time, Emmett would start making more jokes. I wasn't in the mood for that.
"Please Bella. The movie won't be good if your all the way over there and I don't want to upset you anymore than I already have," At least he was being somewhat of a gentleman about all this. I sighed and moved a little closer, but I wasn't pressed up against him.
We were watching Transformers and it was funny. I loved this movie, it was so good and Shia La Buff (idk how to spell his name sorry) was so darn cute.
As the movie went on, I found myself getting closer and closer to Edward. It wasn't even half way into the movie and my head was resting against his shoulder and his hand was on top of mine. I felt really content like this. It wasn't to much, and it was just enough to make me feel comfortable.
"Bella, do you mind if I get a little more comfortable?" He asked.
What would be wrong with that.
"Sure," I mumbled and moved away from him. He got up onto the couch pulled me in his arms and laid down. I was about to protest, but actually this was rather comfortable. I snuggled into his arms and watched the movie. It was the part where Megan Fox was sitting on Sam.
"That's kind of like us isn't it Bella," he caressed my arm with his cool fingers. I didn't say anything. "except for the fact that I'm not a total loser like him," I slapped Edward's arm.
"At least he's not always trying to get into her pants," I explained. It was true sometimes it seemed that's all Edward wanted. I thought about this for a moment and looked down at the ground. Maybe that's all Edward wanted.
I got up and out of Edward's arms and walked away and went into the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around myself. I knew that Edward would be following me from behind.
"I'm Sorry Bella, was it something that I said? I didn't mean it I'm sorry, please come back and watch the movie with me," I leaned against the island and looked out the window, I didn't pay any attention to him.
He came to my side and took my hand in his. I jerked them back.
"Bella, I'm so sorry, I don't know what I said, I'm stupid and some times I don't know what comes out of my mouth.
"It's nothing that you said Edward, it's what I said," I said in a dull tone.
He looked puzzled and stepped in front of me.
"What was it?" He asked nicely.
"All you want with me is to get into my pants," I said kind of in a whisper.
He kind of chuckled and I swiftly looked up giving a death glare. Why was he laughing.
Edward cupped my face in his hands sweetly.
"Isabella my dear, why would you think that?" He asked as he stroked my face lovingly.
"Because it seems that's all you ever talk about, you never talk about anything else," I grumbled and kept trying to keep my eyes from him.
"Well Bella there are two reasons for this," He said turning my face. When he was talking to me, he always wanted me to be looking at him. "One is because I've lived with Emmett for so long, his sex jokes kind of start to rub off," He smiled. He leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine. I didn't pull away I just let him talk. "And well the second reason is because you never allow me to say anything sweet and loving. I would say the most beautiful things to you, but you won't open up your heart to allow me to say those things, so I guess the only thing that I can say to get you to at least notice me, are the sex jokes," He grinned and I sighed letting out a breath of air.
"Okay Edward, I forgive you," He slowly moved his face away.
"Don't think that that is the only thing I want from you, I want so much more from you Isabella, it's just that when we have a house full of three couples and the only thing that they are doing at night is having sex, and I can read their minds, well it's kind of hard to keep my mind off of that," he pressed his lips to mine quickly. I didn't kiss back, but I didn't protest.
"Don't worry Bella, they will wear off as soon as you open up your heart to me," He grinned and let out his hand. "Come on let's get back to the movie," I took his hand and he walked me back to the cough and we continued to watch the movie.
Everyone came down the stairs all nicely dressed and ready to go.
"Where are we going?" I asked anyone who would answer.
"Shopping Bella, we need to get you some clothes and well Alice just wants to shop," Carlisle spoke up placing his wife's coat over her shoulders. He pressed a quick kiss to Esme's cheek and led her out the door.
"Come on Bella, come up with me and we'll get you something to wear," Alice tugged on my arm and toted me up the stairs. She dressed me in a blue sweater dress that was kind of flared at the bottom and it went down to my knees and the neck was folded down and kind of hung in the front. It was plain and simple. Blue high heels, that wasn't very good for me, but I did it because Alice told me to. My brown hair was curled and I didn't even have to wear makeup. I was thankful for that. I was kind of self conscience.
"Bella you look beautiful," He pulled me into his arms and skimmed his nose down my neck. "Beautiful Bella," He whispered. That was very cleaver of him and I loved it, but I wasn't about to admit it to him.
I rode in Edward's car and he insisted that I held onto his hand the whole way. He was very possessive. We got to the mall and Edward had to be taken away while I went looking for clothes with Alice. It was the worst thing that I had ever been through. I kept begging her to go home. I hated this, I told her just to pick things for me that she thought I might like, she already knew my size in everything.
"Edward please take her back home, she won't stop complaining, she's like a little child," Alice said and handed me back over to Edward. I was kind of happy about this. Edward didn't make me try on clothes for him, but I wouldn't mention that to him, I didn't want to put any ideas in his head.
"Do you not like going shopping?" Edward asked as he was on the road.
I leaned my head back in my seat and groaned.
"I never want to see another department store for the rest of my life," I kept my eyes closed. These heels were killing me. So I took them off and threw them into the back seat.
"I'm sorry you had to put up with my sister all day, but it's good to have you back Bella," He stroked my hair softly and I smiled back to him. I thought things were going pretty well with Edward right now. I didn't mind his light touches, soft pecks every now and then. The holding hands was a little much, but some little part inside me like the feeling of his hand clasped in mine.
"So Bella, do you want to go back home where we can watch more movies on the couch, or would you like to go and do something?" He asked me nicely. I thought about this for a moment and then something hit me.
"Can we go to a Borders?" I asked excitement pulsing through my body. If I had 100,000 dollars, I would spend it all on that store. Books were my life and I loved it so much. They had awesome coffee and music and a couple other entertainment things.
Edward pulled into the Borders parking lot and looked as excited as I was to be browsing through this bookstore. There was one thing that both Edward and I had in common and that was the fact that we both had a great passion for reading and being in silence. I looked up at Edward as we entered.
"How many books am I allowed to get," I could faintly remember, when I was with my mother, she would only allow me to get at least 2 books, sometimes 3 if I was being a good girl. Edward cupped my face in his hands and leaned in pressing his forehead against mine again. Whenever he did this it always warmed me on the inside.
"As many as you wish my love," He whispered softly before pressing his lips to mine. I couldn't help it. I lightly kissed him back. Whatever had brought that out of me, it sure made Edward happy because he walked away grinning. I was happy that I was allowing myself to open up. That was my goal while I was here with Edward. To open up and allow not only him, but the rest of his family into my heart. I no longer wanted to be like Aro and the rest of his coven. I wanted to be a free vampire, like a Cullen.
I was sure that both Edward and I were in that store for about two hours. We ended up in the same area. I had a book in my lap sitting in one of those comfy chairs and he sat across from me. We were lost and it wasn't until Alice and Carlisle walked in to find us sitting in the same position, but this time there was a bigger stack of books, for each of us.
"Man I thought we would never find you guys," Carlisle walked closer to us. Neither Edward nor I looked up from our books. We were gone.
"Hello, you two, could you put your books down for at least five minutes so we could talk," Alice asked. Still we didn't budge. Edward quickly put down his book and glared at his sister. "You wouldn't dare," Edward glared at his little sister and she just smirked.
"Well if that's what it was going to take to get you out of your seat and put your book down then so be it," Edward growled and I set my book down and stood with them.
"Well we just wanted to inform you guys that we were ready to head back to Forks, we've had a full day and think that it would be nice to get back home and maybe have family time," Carlisle offered. I hoped that he wasn't talking about what happened last night. Last night was bad. I thought back to the memories.
Edward looked at me and it seemed like the books had calmed us both down. He wasn't being as flirty and sexual.
"We'd be willing to drive your Volvo Edward, if you and Bella want to sit in the back and read," Alice offered us. I knew Edward would be happy about that, and actually that didn't sound to bad.
Edward and I both nodded our heads.
"Yeah, let us just check out and we will be there," Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and I was really getting to like that feeling. We paid over 100 dollars in books. Yeah it was that bad, but both Edward had a bunch of new books to read. We crawled into the back of his car and I couldn't help but snuggle up next to his body and read my book on his chest. He kept one arm around me while he was holding his book with the other. It was a nice ride back home and I finished my first book that I had bought.
"How do you read so fast?" Edward asked as he was almost done with his first book. I giggled as he was confused. We both read a lot.
"I don't know, years of practice I guess," I walked over to him as I got out of the car. I trailed a few fingers up his chest and he gulped, I was still wearing that pretty outfit that he really liked. I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips and kept my palm pressed to his chest. I pulled away and his mouth was hanging open. I was having a "new book high" That's what put me in a good mood. I brought my fingers to his chin and pushed his mouth closed.
"Better not leave that open, you don't know when... something might slip in," I whispered into his ear. I was playing with him at his own game. I knew he liked it by the way his pants were getting tight with everyone word that I said. I loved playing with him. It was the greatest thing in the world.
