Holly J's knuckles went white as she sat on the rec room couch, clutching a bright red stress ball and squeezing it methodically. Her face was still slightly magenta with anger as she breathed heavily, nostrils flared and temper simmering just beneath the surface. She had been sitting like this, seething, for quite a few minutes after Jay made his exit. Her rage and hurt and sheer bewilderment were such that she remained beyond words.
Blue reentered the room, carrying a creamy pink beverage with an umbrella and orange slice perched on the rim. "Here you go, Holly," he said soothingly, placing the drink on the small coffee table in front of the couch. "I made you a smoothie. Thought it might brighten your mood."
Instinctively, Holly J snarled at the drink. "You made me a smoothie?" It was hard to mask the horror and cynicism in her voice as she eyed the flashy, clownish drink.
Blue missed the judgmental expression on her face entirely, still beaming stupidly. "Yup. I thought green tea might be best, but you guys don't seem to have any. Lucky I had one of my protein powder packets on me. This should put your body back in balance, perk you right up."
Holly J eyed him incredulously. "You made me a protein smoothie? Are we going to do yoga-lates and listen to Cher, too? Do you honestly think this crap is going to make me feel better?"
Blue seemed stunned by the sting of Holly J's voice. Unlike most other Degrassi and Lakehurst students, he had been spared some of her uglier moments. "I was just trying to help, Holly J," he said softly. "Do you always greet kindness so harshly? It isn't a flattering quality."
"No shit, Sherlock," she snapped back absently, still wallowing in her silent rage. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Blue's brow furl. She sighed, and reached out to place her hand softly on his arm. She changed her tone dramatically to something gentler. "I'm sorry, Blue, I really am. I'm just… I'm mad at Jay, and I'm taking it out on you. I apologize. And I'm so, so sorry for the way he acted. I hope you can forgive me."
Blue smiled an nudged the smoothie closer. "Of course I forgive you. There's nothing for you to be sorry about, it was all his fault. You were trying to do him a favor, and he treats you like dirt."
Holly J nodded. She tried her best to put on an angry face, but for some reason she only felt deflated. Why had Jay been so mean, anyway? It wasn't just his usual bad attitude; she could handle that. She even enjoyed it. But this was different. He really seemed like he wanted to hurt her this time, and she couldn't figure out why.
At Holly J's silence, Blue sat beside her on the couch, stroking her shoulders soothingly. He continued. "I mean, I'm not sure why you would spend time around a guy like that. You have to know his reputation, don't you? He's a walking, talking white trash stereotype."
Holly J instinctively shook her head. "No… No, he's not. He's different than he seems on the surface… I mean, he's not all bad." There was more to Jay than met the eye; just like there was more to her than most people thought. That was something she'd always liked about him. He didn't exactly fit into the social mold that she deemed acceptable, but she liked him anyway. She liked that he challenged her sense of cool and uncool; of right and wrong.
Blue laughed off her protest. "Oh come on, Holly." He spoke gently. Patronizingly. "He's playing you for a fool. You can't trust guys like that. Slimey criminal type. It's all in the upbringing. Total cliché welfare case."
Holly J tore herself away from her swimming thoughts and turned to Blue, looking at him for what felt like the first time. She frowned defensively. "How can you say that about him? You don't even know him. And I mean, welfare case… what are you trying to say? That being poor's the worst thing you can be?" She felt her voice get heated.
"Holly, of course not!" Blue responded quickly. He continued to massage her shoulders, but she harshly shrugged off his hands. "You know I didn't mean it like that. I saw more than enough of the way he acted today to know he's trouble. The way you guys were fighting… I can't believe he would talk to you like that."
Holly J shook her head furiously and waved her hand dismissively. "What, that? That's nothing. It's just a thing we do."
Blue shook his head insistently, acting as though he hadn't even heard her. "You shouldn't hang around someone who treats you that way. I thought I was going to have to step in and fight that guy."
Holly J let out a callous snort. "Don't be ridiculous, Jay's harmless. I know how to handle myself."
Blue smiled and gave her a condescending pat on the back. "I'm sure you think you do, but with guys like that…"
Holly J smacked Blue's hand away. "Look, stop. Stop talking to me like I'm five, okay? I'm Holly freaking J Sinclair, and the last thing I need is a babysitter. And maybe Jay's not the world's nicest dude, but at least he never talks down to me like I'm some kind of naïve skankwit."
Blue's face flushed with disappointment. He scowled. "Five seconds ago, you were apologizing for him. Now you're defending him. And you're attacking me. Just what's your deal, anyway? How long do I have to play this game with you before you finally play it straight with me?"
"What game?" Holly J asked, curling her face into genuine confusion.
"This hot and cold game. One minute you're throwing yourself at me, the next you're blowing me off. One minute you're flirting with me, the next minute you're all over that Jay guy at the dance. One minute you're a nice, sweet girl, the next minute you're a huge bitch. What am I supposed to think?"
Holly J sighed in defeat. She had never really seen it from that angle, but it definitely seemed like she was giving him mixed signals. "I don't know, Blue. I guess I wouldn't know what to think, either, if I were in your shoes." She threw out her hands and shrugged. "But this is what you get. This is the Holly J package. If you don't like what you see, tough cookies."
Blue laughed scornfully and shook his head as he climbed off the couch. "Figures," he muttered. And for the second time in only ten minutes, Holly J watched yet another boy march angrily out of her house without looking back.
…
"I. Will. KILL. HIM!" Holly J was seething. She sat perched on a stool at the Dot after hours, while Spinner closed down the shop and listened to her replay the entire dramatic scene from earlier that day. Glumly, she pounded the chocolate milkshake in front of her and slammed the glass back on the counter. "Hit me again, barkeep."
Spinner sighed as he grabbed the empty glass and refilled it from the whirring machine on the other side of the counter. "You realize, of course, that this means you have to help me clean the milkshake machine when you finally decide to cut yourself off."
Holly J merely scowled as she took the cold, refilled glass from Spinner's hands and started pouring its contents down her throat. "Can you please explain to me why Jay is a world-class asshole?" she muttered.
Spinner laughed. "Why is Jay an asshole? I mean, why is the sky blue? Why does spray cheese taste like heaven? It's just the way mother nature intended things to be. You act like this is some huge surprise or something. Jay's always an asshole."
Holly J sloppily wiped the ice cream mustache from her mouth and continued to stare at the grimey counter. "It was different today, though. He was acting like… like, I don't know. Like he was really mad at me for something. It didn't make any sense."
Spinner held his breath, trying not to look Holly J in the eye.
Holly J watched Spinner's apprehension carefully. "What, Spin? What is it?"
After another moment's pause, Spinner exhaled. "Well, I mean, the way you described it…" he said carefully. He wasn't sure if it would be helpful to provoke the situation even more, but with the glare Holly J was giving him, he didn't feel he had much choice other than to tell the truth. "It kind of sounds like Jay was jealous."
"Jealous?" Holly J asked incredulously.
"I mean, yeah. I think he was jealous of Blue."
The Dot echoed with strange silence as Holly J tried to process the idea. Jay was jealous of Blue? As in, Jay liked her? She bit her lip in frustration and proceeded to take another enormous gulp of chocolate shake to soften the blow.
"That's… that's crazy, Spinner. Jay doesn't like me like that. He said we weren't even on he same planet."
"Right," Spinner affirmed, rather unfazed. "Telling you the exact opposite of what he felt, because he's a spineless, emotionally constipated wimp. Typical Jay response."
"But that's… I mean… Ugh!" Holly J picked up her spoon from the counter and chucked it at the front door.
"You're cleaning that up," Spinner noted calmly.
"That JERK! He can't LIKE me! Who does he think he is? Does he have any idea how complicated this makes my life now? What the hell am I supposed to do about this?"
Spinner shrugged. "Well, for starters… Do you like Jay?"
For a moment, Holly J felt her lungs seize up and her veins cease pumping. It was a question she'd never asked herself before, and now that it hung in the air, she had no idea what to think.
