Jackson awoke early next Thursday morning at Derek's house. They were both asleep in his living room. Like usual Derek was wrapped around Jackson, protecting him. Jackson got up, careful not to wake Derek, and made his way upstairs to Derek's bedroom were he showered and borrowed some clothes, again. Derek was downstairs, naked, making breakfast. His hair was sleep mussed and he was covered in dirt and blood, and he looked sexy as hell, though Jackson would die before he told Derek, but when he saw Jackson looking he smirked, the bastard knew how sexy he was. Jackson just blushed and sat at the table.
Jackson left after breakfast with a promise from Derek for a repeat of the night before, with out the emotional bullshit, Jackson agreed with a giant grin on his face. He drove slowly on his way to school enjoying the quite morning lull. Nights with Derek always left him with a feeling of inner peace, emptied him out of all his doubts and worries. Sometimes, when there was no supernatural shit out on the loose, this town would surprise him in its natural beauty.
He parked his car in the back lot, far from the school, closest to the woods. From here he could see the school field and would sometimes watch lacrosse practice, an act of masochism. He got out of the car and made his way to the bleachers, he was two hours early but didn't mind. He just pulled out the book he was reading and before he knew it the school was filling up with students. As he read he caught a whiff of lemon and frosting and followed it. Near the team locker rooms he saw Stiles and Matt, the annoying photographer, talking. He didn't want to intrude so he waited till they finished. It looked like they had agreed to do something. He slowly stalked Stiles as he made his way into the locker room and saw him cram his gear inside his locker. Jackson pounced and Stiles screamed, squealed really, and batted his arms around. Jackson wrapped his arms tight around Stiles and laughed so hard he thought he would pee. Stiles just looked at him and took deep fast breaths.
"What the fuck! You scared the shit out of me!"
"Yeah I noticed," Jackson liked this, Stiles pressed against him, seeking comfort, even if Jackson was the one who scared him.
Stiles forcefully made his way out of Jackson's embrace and picked up his backpack which he had dropped. He looked at Jackson with a strange expression, one Jackson didn't recognize, but reminded him a little of pity…
"So where were you yesterday, I was looking for you, I texted you a few times too…"
"Oh, my car broke down and I lost my cell phone so I was basically stranded home. My dad took the jeep to the mechanics though. He drove me to school today,"
"Oh sorry man if I'd known I would have picked you up,"
"It's okay…'
"So…if your not doing anything later want to come over…my parents won't be home…"
"Yea…I can't, I have plans already…"
"Oh, okay…"
"Yea I have to go," Stiles pushed past Jackson and left the locker room, Jackson wasn't sure what had just happened. He was confused and a little angry. Stiles was always doing that, always keeping secrets, always pushing Jackson away. He thought that their date had gone well but maybe it only went well for him.
Jackson decided to skip first period and instead spent some time in the weight room. He lifted massive amounts of weights which, if he hadn't been alone, would have caused quite the commotion and cheering. But he focused on the aches in his muscle and let the strain consume his body. He was still confused but…he would let it go, for now. He showered and changed back into his clothes. On his way out he almost bumped into Coach Finstock, but he just ducked into one of the equipment closest and waited for him to pass.
At lunch he sat on the bleachers and ate a steak sandwich and just enjoyed the temperate weather. He didn't want to think about Stiles or the way he was avoiding him again and he didn't want to think about the way that hurt. He just ate and enjoyed the taste of the bloody juices that filled his mouth and instead thought about the night before and the comfort it gave him. Maybe he could talk to Derek…
"Hey," called Danny from the bottom of the bleachers startling Jackson.
"Hey…" Jackson responded. They both just stared at each other. Neither knew how to cross the breach that spanned between them. Danny slowly climbed the bleachers till he could sit next to Jackson.
"So…where's Stiles. Doesn't he hang out with you now…"
"No…"
"Oh…So I guess I have a lot of explaining to do huh…"
"No, you don't have to…I get it," Jackson did, he understood how much Danny had put up with. He remembered all the shit he had given him all the broken promises and disappointments. So when the pain came and took away his voice, he understood why Danny would see it as something else, it hurt, but he understood.
"Is there anyway I can make this better? Is there any way we can go back to being who we were?"
Jackson laughed, "I never liked who I was, you know that, and then I got sick and….well I'm sorry but I don't think we can…" He didn't want to lie to Danny, he didn't want to pretend that everything was okay between them because it wasn't. Danny saw that he was hurting and instead of helping decided he had had enough.
"We can try though can't we? Can we at least try?" Danny sounded desperate but he didn't want to lose his best friend, the problem was he realized that Jackson was his best friend to late.
"I guess…" Jackson wasn't going to force this, ironically the only person who seemed to truly care for Jackson was Derek. He proved that last night and unlike Stiles he didn't seem to change his mind from one day to the other.
"Why don't we hang out? I heard someone opened a comic store on Main Street where the old clothes place used to be…why don't we check it out after school," Danny looked hopefully and Jackson didn't want to confirm anyone's suspicion of continued assholeness and so he agreed.
After school he drove to Main Street and parked his car at one of the public lots. He walked slowly down the street looking for the new comic store. He didn't want to arrive before Danny and have to awkwardly wait for him with the possibility that he wasn't going to show. But when he got there Danny was already there, they both looked a little surprised that the other showed up.
They walked around the store and looked at old comics they used to read when they were younger.
"Dude you used to love reading comics, remember when I let you borrow Watchmen and you read it in one night,"
"Yea, Watchmen was cool." Jackson remembered, he didn't really get it and the comic had made him feel stupid, especially when he assumed that Danny understood it completely.
"In all honesty Danny, I don't really like reading comics,"
"What! You love comics, dude you own more comics than I do and I know for a fact that you've read them all,"
"I only ever read comics because you used to like them…"
Danny couldn't believe this, the entire time he thought he and Jackson had shared something in common but Jackson had just pretended…Danny wasn't sure if that was incredible kind of Jackson or if he just did it to shut him up.
"We were friends," said Jackson, "I would have braided your hair and colored your toe nails if it meant we could hang out,"
"That's both incredibly fucked up and super nice," Danny was always being shocked by the things Jackson said and did.
They spent a few hours just hanging out in the store and getting to know each other again. Danny learned that this Jackson preferred the intellectual less action oriented comics like 'Ghost World' and 'Fun Home', but seemed to have kept his massive boner for anything Batman. Danny still preferred Marvel over DC, Jackson enjoyed different series' from both.
Danny could notice the differences from this new Jackson and the old one, could see how he had changed. He didn't seem to care what other people thought of him anymore, he was less angry and more thoughtful. Danny didn't know how sick a person had to be to change this much but hoped that it wasn't something chronic or worse. Jackson reassured him it wasn't.
They left the store having bought different comics and graphic novels and went in search of a place to eat. Danny wanted something fast and cheap but Jackson refused to even step near a place like that, the entire time he had the weirdest look on his face. They finally settled on an organic salad place which Danny knew the old Jackson would never had eaten at. He would have even made fun of anyone who did.
Afterwards they just walked along Main Street and talked about what they had been up to the last three months. Apparently, after Jackson quite the lacrosse team Coach Finstock made Danny the second Co-captain with Scott. Neither of them knew what they were doing and the team suffered because of it. As amazing a player that Scott had become he was a pretty terrible captain, he didn't know the other players strengths or weaknesses and so he didn't know how best to use them. Danny wasn't sure how to take command and would often just do what ever Scott told him to do, even if he thought it was a bad idea. Jackson told Danny that he had finished all his high school credits and was mostly taking college credit classes. His GPA was well over a 4.0 and he had actually beat Lydia for highest GPA a few weeks ago, something he knew Lydia didn't know yet.
As they walked, the sun slowly set and cast an orange glow across the shop windows making them look like they were home to a warm fire that blazed bright and wild.
Danny stopped when he saw something inside a café. He thought it was…
"Wow, I guess he did it,"
"Did what?" Asked Jackson, and looked inside the café. In the back corner in one of the booths was Stiles and Matt…making out.
"Stiles told me he had a crush on a boy at school, who knew it was Matt," Danny was impressed, Stiles moved fast. First date and he was already going at it full tongue and in public.
Jackson was…stunned, completely and utterly stunned. He could feel a cold chill run up his back, could feel his stomach give one hard churn.
"Hey…ugh…I had fun but I really have to go. I forgot I promised someone I'd meet up with them at night and it's getting pretty late now, so I'm just going to take off," Jackson didn't wait for a response he just walked away. He walked until he knew Danny couldn't see him and then he dropped his bags and ran. He ran and ran, and when the road ended he leaped into the woods and still he ran. Then he felt it, the red all consuming rage. The anger he thought he had let go of, the one he once used to protect himself from the world. It was still there and it was alive and it was consuming him completely. He ran and let his animal instincts lead him, he turned while running, felt the clothes he was wearing tear to shreds and fall to the ground like leaves off a tree. He was free but he was wrathful.
He ran and ran until even the wolf became tired but he just pushed himself even farther. He knew if he stopped he would go back to that café, as his true self, as his wolf, and slaughter every person inside. Instead he sniffed, he followed, and he stalked until he found it, his prey. Jackson pounced, he didn't care he just wanted to kill. The bear fought back, hard, it clawed and bite and tore gashes into Jackson body deep and painful, but Jackson fought through the pain, he was consumed by blind rage and the wounds only fanned his emotions. Finally, Jackson tore through the bears stomach and feasted on its insides reveling in the blood and taste and ripped into the still beating heart of the creature and swallowed its blood down, quenching his thirst and with it some of his anger. The rest he released in the loudest roar he could force past his throat. Afterwards, he just walked around until he found a place he could lay down and licked his wounds. He closed his eyes and slept.
When he awoke it was deep into the night and Jackson was in pain. His body still bore the wounds his wolf had suffered. He slowly rose and looked around himself, but didn't know where he was, so he just walked. He walked until he finally came to a road he knew and with it situated himself. He knew where to go, so he walked slowly as blood seeped out his wounds, they burned and ached but Jackson had felt worse, for three months he had felt worse. So he walked.
He finally reached the drive way that led to the Hale house and made his way onto the porch and knocked on the door. He waited and hugged his arms to himself to keep warm. Soon Derek opened the door and looked at Jackson with a shocked expression. Jackson could think of nothing else to do but launch himself into Derek's arms and squeeze…and cry.
He came to several hours later disoriented and in pain. The pain was good it gave him something to focus on, latch on to. But he was nauseas and the room kept spinning and soon he was leaning over the bed and heaving, but only bile came out. He lay back down breathing hard willing the room to stop spinning. He spent most of the night in a stupor resting and heaving until his throat was raw and his chest hurt. He vaguely remembered Derek checking on him, though he wasn't sure if that was real or a dream.
Friday evening his wounds had finally healed over. The claw and teeth marks were completely and utterly gone, they didn't leave a scar, just deep purple bruises. He spent most of Thursday night nauseas from blood loss. Jackson had felt his body heal, felt the cells in his flesh slowly pull together and stitch themselves whole. The process was painful and had kept him from resting. But he was okay now, most importantly he was hungry. All he had on was a pair of Derek's dark boxer briefs and walked into the kitchen that way. Derek was sitting at the table flipping through something. Jackson just cleared his throat.
"You're awake,"
"Yea…my throat and head hurt, and the bruises hurt, but other than that I'm fine…I'm just really hungry," Derek chuckled and walked towards Jackson. He stared at Jackson's body assessing the damage and the healing and used his hand to press against his wounds electing a small hiss from Jackson. He then grabbed Jackson from the back of the head and pushed him into his own neck and hugged him hard. Jackson hugged back and fought to keep the tears back.
"Why don't you tell me what happened? Why are you so upset?"
"I…I thought. This is so stupid. I thought me and Stiles had something between us. I thought that maybe we could be more than friends. But…we had a date that I thought went well and the next fucking day I saw him making out with some kid I barely know…" Jackson wasn't sure what Derek was going to say, would he make fun of him, would he be kind and helpful, or would he remember this for some later date as something to use against him.
"That…well that really sucks Jackson…I wish I knew what to tell you to make you feel better," said Derek with his arms still around Jackson. All Jackson did was laugh, this was more than he expected from Derek and some how just knowing he was there for him helped.
"I was stupid, I gave too much too quickly…I put myself out there before I was ready…I just thought that it would have been nice to have someone out there that maybe loved me…I just wanted…" Jackson couldn't finish, it was too soon, it was private.
Instead he spent the rest of Friday night with Derek. They watched television together and Jackson just enjoyed the feeling of Derek's arm around his shoulder, he rested his head on Derek's shoulder and just relaxed. Jackson didn't know if this was a pack thing, a Derek thing, or something else. But he didn't want to know, not if it ended up hurting him. So he just enjoyed the moment, the warmth, and Derek's scent.
