a.n. By popular demand, this is the conclusion to ch10-Intervention. Thank you for the reviews!
Disclaimer: Nope. Not even in a alternate universe do I own Castle.
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It had been two months, and Kate was sick of it. She missed him. She could admit that, at least to herself. It had been a terrible two months without him. First her relationship with Demming fell apart. With no reason to continue seeing him, no excuse to be with him, Kate broke it off.
Without Castle in her life, her moods deteriorated, and she started to withdraw back into the shell she had existed in before she had met him. She treated her team coldly, and drove them harder than ever. She snapped and yelled, and lost her temper more often than she had ever done before. It all came to a head three weeks after she had pushed Castle out of her life. They had been investigating a double murder, and had found a reasonably good suspect. While interrogating the man, Kate lost her temper and got violent.
Montgomery had suspended her for conduct unbecoming, and had warned her that she was likely facing a demotion at least. That had been five weeks before, and she still had another six weeks to go before she could even consider getting her badge and gun back, if they didn't end up letting her go completely.
Kate had spent much of her time off feeling sorry for herself and moping around her apartment. She blamed Castle for everything at first. She didn't understand why he affected her so badly. She didn't want him around, or at least that was what she told herself.
It wasn't until her dad had cornered her after several missed calls that Kate realized that it wasn't Castle at all. It was her fault. She'd been being selfish, thinking nothing of his feelings at all, and she felt extremely ashamed. During their entire partnership, it had always been all about her. She was the one putting the brakes on their relationship, and she had enjoyed doing it. In a way, she had been stringing him along. It was with that realization that Kate decided that she had to do something. She had to make the decision. Did she need him? Or did she need to let him go?
Six weeks after he had left, Kate was sitting in her bathtub, listening to soothing jazz and reading one of his books. Her body was covered in bubbles, basking in the warm water and the candles that lit the small en-suite bathroom of her apartment. She put the book down on the table beside the tub, and sighed in frustration. She was no closer to a decision than she had been six weeks before. She didn't know how she felt about him. She knew she felt something, but at the end of the day, she didn't know if she wanted to feel anything for him.
She could admit that he was a good man, a great father, and had many redeeming qualities that she had previously denied. He had done a lot for her, and she appreciated it. But did that mean anything? Did it mean she wanted more from him that the often-times tumultuous friendship they had formed over the last year since she had taken him back?
Groaning, Kate lifted herself out of the tub and pulled the plug, allowing the water to drain. She had no answers, and she felt that she was running out of time.
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Two weeks later…
He had called, just like he said he would. The problem was that she didn't answer. She had wanted to, had come close to doing so, but she hadn't. She still didn't know the answer to her own questions, and she couldn't talk to him until she was sure she knew what she wanted, and when he had called, she hadn't a clue what that was.
That had been a week before, and while she was still unsure, the day before had been a wake-up call for her. The department had issued their ruling on her 'incident', as she had taken to calling it, and it had, for once, gone in her favor. They'd left it at the 90-day suspension, and let her keep her detective first grade status, and her team-lead position. She would be on probation for the next year, but she felt she could live with that.
All she had to do was make it another couple weeks and she would get back to her desk and her job and her boys. She missed it all and she wanted it back. It was while she was thinking happily about her return to work that she realized something. Castle wouldn't be there. Castle was gone, and she hadn't fought to keep him.
It was that realization that made the decision for her. She finally let herself acknowledge that she needed him by her side. He was as much her partner as any cop could have been, and she needed her partner.
So she had called him. But he didn't answer. She waited a day, and called him again. Again, he didn't answer.
She gave up that avenue, and called Alexis. Alexis, while a little cold towards her, told Kate that Castle was still at their beach house in the Hamptons. Kate had asked for the address, and Alexis reluctantly gave it to her.
That was how she ended up standing on the doorstep of what could only be qualified as a mansion. The house stunned her, and though she half expected it, the size of the house was phenomenal. Kate had sat in her car for almost ten minutes before walking up to the front porch, just staring at the gargantuan dwelling. It came to her while she was staring at Castle's house, that he didn't need to be at her side. He chose to be with her, no matter the danger, no matter how badly she treated him, he chose her.
It shocked her to realize that she must mean a great deal to him if he chose to spend his time with her over spending time doing 'rich people' things. The realization hit her like a brick wall.
Castle loved her.
He must or why else would he stick around? Her biggest worry with him in regard to a relationship was his commitment, but he had already proven to her that he would stick by her side no matter what. How could she doubt his feelings for her?
Taking a deep breath, Kate knocked on the door. The revelation of his feelings had startled her, and had almost made her run back the way she had come. She hadn't ever let any man get that close to her before, not even before her mother had been killed. Love meant she could be hurt, and she couldn't stomach being hurt again.
She was brought out of her thoughts when the door in front of her opened up, revealing Castle on the other side. He was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, something Kate had never seen him dressed in before. She liked the look. It made him seem more normal to her, more real.
"Beckett? What are you doing here?"
"Castle. Can…we talk?"
Castle looked over his shoulder into his house, then back at her. Was he not alone in there? Had he already moved on? Was she too late?
"Sure. Uh, just to warn you, it's a mess in here." He stepped back, opened the door further, and gestured her inside.
She smiled, "That's okay." He wasn't kidding. Kate paused when she found the whole room beyond the entryway filled with strings with sheets of paper hanging by clothes pins.
Castle, who had stayed behind to close the door, came up behind her and said, "Sorry, but it's kind of my process, and with multiple books to write it kinda got out of hand this time."
"Multiple books?" Kate questioned.
Rick nodded. "Yeah. I'm writing all three of the books that were left on the contract one right after the other. It…has been a challenge, but also kind of fun. I'll be sad to let Nikki go at the end." With that, he led her into the living room, which was located right off the entry hall. The lines filled with sheets of paper were strewn all over in a maze, which made it difficult for them to get to the couch, but eventually the two of them sat facing one another on the comfortable leather couch.
Kate had been almost sickened at the thought of him ending Nikki Heat, given what she had come to him to discuss, but quickly shoved the thoughts aside, and looked at her partner closely. It looked to her as if he had lost weight, and he had bags under his eyes, making her think he hadn't been sleeping that well.
"You wanted to talk," he prompted.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kate asked suddenly. She had expected him to be angry. She expected him to yell, throw her out, and tell her he never wanted to see her again. She had treated him so bad, she didn't understand why he looked almost happy to see her.
"Come on, Detective, when have you ever known me to get mad? Was I hurt? Yes, I thought we were at least friends, and I thought I contributed something to your team, but I always rebound. It'll take some time to get over you, but someday I will."
Kate blinked back tears. She didn't want him to get over her. Ever since he had opened the door, the feelings she had been denying for the last year had been swirling around in her, breaking free of the cage she had built especially for them. After realizing his feelings for her, it was much harder to deny that she returned those feelings. Kate looked down at her hands, which were entwined and laying on her lap, trying to hide the emotions that were trying to break free.
"Kate?"
She looked back up, blinking back a traitorous tear which had escaped. "I'm sorry, Castle. So damn sorry."
"Hey, no," he said, reaching out and putting a hand on her knee, "no apologies. Don't worry about it. Everyone gets sick of me eventually. It's my lot in life, apparently. I'm used to it. Kyra left when it got serious, Meredith and Gina cheated on me, so it isn't really surprising to me that this happened." Castle pulled his hand back then looked away.
"You love me," Kate whispered, stating a fact.
He hesitated. "Yes. I tried not to. God knows, you're the most maddening, challenging, extraordinary woman I've ever met, but I still tried not to. But you needn't worry about it. I've done as you've asked and stepped away. I called the captain and told him not to expect me around when you get back from your suspension, and I've said my goodbyes to the boys and Lanie."
He'd said his goodbyes. It felt to her like she was already too late, like in her indecision she had missed her chance.
No! She thought fiercely. She wasn't going to let him go now that she'd made her choice. She may still have fears, insecurities, but she wanted him in her life. She needed him in her life. She was falling in love with him, even if she wasn't ready to say the words out loud. She wanted a relationship with him, and she'd be damned if she was going to let her mistake, her damn stubbornness, ruin her chance.
But how? How could she get him back? She'd pushed him so far away he'd made his plans to eliminate her from his life. She studied his face as he stared at her, his expression changing from sadness to uncertainty.
"Rick, I…I don't want you to go. I... was wrong pushing you away. I'm so sorry for saying those things to you, so sorry for making you feel that way and hurting you. I…I'm so ashamed of myself," Kate paused and took a deep breath. "I've never been so cruel in my entire life, and I'm just so damn sorry."
Castle was silent for several minutes before he said, "What do you mean, you don't want me to go? I'm sorry, Kate, but I can't just come back and have it be the same as always. Maybe it is a good idea if we just agree to a clean break."
"No!" She shouted, getting frustrated. She stood up, wanting to pace, but realizing that the maze of strings and hanging papers prevented her from moving very far from her position. She spun to face him and said, "It won't be the same. I want…I want to…Dammit," she said, then lunged forward onto his lap, straddling his legs, and pressed her lips to his. She was done waiting, done making excuses, and since she couldn't say what she wanted in words, she would say it this way.
Words were overrated anyways.
xxxx
They were laying side by side on his bed, naked, sweaty and sated when the reality of what they had just done hit her. They had…well they had fucked, and hard. It was, if she thought about it, always going to end up like this. She knew what they had would be explosive, and awesome and fantastic, and wow, just a lot of adjectives.
"That was…amazing," they said at the same time.
She was still catching her breath and enjoying the feeling between her legs when Castle turned to her and asked her, "What does this mean, Kate? You've spent the last two years avoiding this. I don't want this to be just a one-time thing, that isn't what I want. What is it you want?"
"I want this, Castle. I'm sorry for taking so long. I know you love me. Just…just give me some time to catch up, okay?" She leaned forward and kissed him. She brought her hand up and cupped his cheek as she pulled away, "Don't doubt, Rick, that I care for you deeply, okay. I need you in my life, and I want to see where this goes." She smirked, "I'd say we need to take this slow, but it seems we skipped a few steps."
He laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."
"I just…Let's make sure we do this right, okay? God knows I've made enough mistakes when it comes to you, and I'll likely make more, but I want this, and I'll work for this. Is that enough for now?"
"Yes," he said, then kissed her again.
It wasn't perfect, it wasn't even all that romantic, but Kate didn't care. She'd made her choice. Her choice was Castle, and she had a feeling it always would be.
Fin.
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a.n.2. So there you go. A little fluffier than I had originally planned. I had thought about having Gina open the door when Kate made her way to the Hamptons, but thought that it would then take the story too long to resolve and I wanted to end it as a two-shot.
Reviews are awesome. Be awesome.
