Burn It Up – Jessie James
APOV
I stood outside of my house watching the large bonfire.
I stared into the flames, thinking about all of the time I wasted trying to reform the South's biggest playboy.
Jasper Whitlock.
I felt my temper flare just at thinking his name. I picked up the near empty bottle of kerosene beside my feet and heaved it into the fire, smiling and rather pleased with myself as I saw the last bit of recognizable bullshit erupt into flames.
I was a woman scorned...and I was beyond pissed.
Jasper Whitlock sauntered into my life damn near ten years ago and I had been instantly smitten.
Jasper was a local boy who had made something of himself in the rodeo circuit – being one of the very few that no bull could throw; no matter how much it bucked, swung and twisted.
He was built like a god, slim everywhere but built in the arms and chest. The fact alone that he chose me, pixie-like Alice Brandon, as his "true love" should have set off multiple alarms in my head. Sadly, I was young, naive and in lust.
My father, Joseph Brandon, was thrilled that the likes of someone like Jasper could be interested in a little country bumpkin like me.
I used to hang out with my best friend from birth, Emmett McCarty, daily. We would go mud riding every weekend in his large truck with mammoth tires; during the week, either I kept him company while he worked on his farm or he would come to my house and we would swim in the creek behind my house.
For the longest time, both of our families were convinced that Emmett and I were destined to be together – but Emmett was pretty clear that he wasn't attracted to the type of girl I was – he always dated the tall, leggy, dumb blondes.
It broke my heart to watch him chase the girls he did when I was obviously head over heels for him, but I made a point to not let it disable me and I tried my damnedest to find another guy to be interested in romantically.
I never found one that could hold my interest longer than a week or so...until Jasper. It also didn't help matters that Emmett normally ran off any guy who had promise...asshole.
Looking back now, it was his celebrity status that originally reeled me in – then Jasper went all Southern gentleman on my ass and I was officially gone.
I distinctly remember the day I met him: my father and I went to the state rodeo on a weekend when Emmett had made plans with Rosalie Hale...AGAIN.
I admit I was angry at Emmett; he was blowing me off more and more for that bimbo and I would be in denial if I said it didn't sting that we were spending less and less time together. So, when daddy mentioned that the rodeo was in town and that there was some up-and-comer on the circuit that was blowing everyone away, he really didn't have to twist my arm to get me to go.
We sat down near the front rows so that we could see the action better. I distinctly remember that I was wearing my tight Levi jeans with rips in the knees and thighs, a white tank top with a flannel shirt tied up in the front over it and my most comfortable pair of Timberland boots. I always wore my hair in a ponytail, but decided to wear it down for a change to keep my neck warm in case if they had the air conditioning on blast.
"Please welcome, newcomer Jasper Whitlock to the arena! Let's see if he can hold on to his title of 'Energizer Bunny' folks. Apparently, this boy don't know when to quit, ladies and gentlemen! No bull can buck him!"
I missed the rest of his introduction as the crowd went wild with cheers and applause for him.
I craned my neck to see this 'superhero' and had to instantly sit back down for fear that I would fall.
From what I was able to see, he was gorgeous.
Jasper was currently being strapped onto the biggest, meanest looking bull I had ever seen. I could see the muscles under his white t shirt bulge as he gripped the strap and his grin become even bigger as the beast below him jerked restlessly.
At the sound of the air horn the gate burst open and Jasper and the monster flew out into the arena.
The bull was pissed and did everything it could to get Jasper off of his back, but somehow, he held on. And it was a beautiful sight to see him ride that bull.
Sue me, I swooned.
Of course, my daddy noticed...and officially made it his life's mission to meet the boy who made his typically disinterested daughter giddy...it didn't help that during his time on the bull, Jasper tipped his cowboy hat in our direction.
Yeah, I somehow made it in my mind that he tipped his hat at me.
After his extraordinarily long eight seconds, Jasper got his hand free, jumped lithely from the bull's back, ran and scaled the pen's walls to safety.
The crowd, of course, went absolutely wild. My ears rang from all of the cheering...and my screaming.
My daddy was very pleased to see me take an interest in the rodeo for a change...normally, I sat there, completely apathetic and only cheered when something out of the ordinary happened.
After the other bull riders took their turns having their ass handed to them, I stood up to make my way out of the bleachers so that we could get some refreshments and go home.
Daddy talked animatedly to me about all of the riders, but there was only one that stood out in my mind enough to actually talk about.
We made our way slowly to the concession stand and imagine my surprise when there was a group of people off to the left congratulating a rider with full, wavy blonde hair...in a white t shirt.
Jesus. It was Jasper.
I instantly began hyperventilating and pulling on my dad to get him to abandon the idea of funnel cakes and Coca Colas.
Yeah, he noticed and zeroed in on Jasper's form.
Abandon the concession stand, my ass...he all but started to cut in line to get us up to the front faster.
And I began to studiously pay attention to Jasper...how happy he looked at the adoration he was receiving for his heroics...the way his eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled at something that was said...the muscles of his suntanned arms peeking out from under the bottom of the sleeves...the way he poured a little bit of his water over his head to cool himself off...and how said water turned his white shirt completely transparent...rendering me a drooling mass of dumb as shit.
When there were only a couple of people in front of us, my father noticed the crowd around Jasper begin to move away to give him some space and took it as open invitational to pull his dumbfounded daughter with him out of the line we had been standing in for the better part of fifteen minutes...right up to Jasper as he put his cowboy hat back on.
I closed my gaping mouth and couldn't wipe off the dumb smile that was plastered across my face.
We finally reached Jasper and my father stuck his hand out which Jasper shook heartily. My dad then proceeded to, in fangirl fashion, congratulate Jasper of his successful ride. Jasper took all of the praise and smiled coyly at me.
"Howdy, ma'am," he greeted me, tipping his hat, "Did you enjoy the festivities today?"
His eyes shown with humor as he waited patiently for me to get my brain to start functioning properly again.
"Ye...yes," I stuttered, "You definitely showed that bull who's boss."
Omg. Wtf Alice? I internally shouted at myself. Just how fucking old are you, grandma? I bet he did show that bull who's boss...right before going to get a pop and asking Aunt Bee out to the Sunday night social.
Motherfucker.
"Well, I like to think that the bull tried damn hard to show me somethin'...but I have never taken too kindly to animals thinkin' they're superior to me." He replied, the humor still in the creases at the corners of his eyes.
"Right. Superior." I forced my mouth to say anything that wouldn't make me sound like I crawled out of a cave right before coming here, but here I was, making myself sound like an inbred moron...again.
Jesus, Alice, just shut the fuck up and let the men talk, huh?
Bitch, shut your whore mouth and let me try talking to him! How is he gonna be the father of our children if I can't talk to him?
Girl, chill the fuck out and let your dad talk for awhile so that you can let your brain reboot from all that sexy...okay?
Eh, fair enough.
It seemed both the angel and the devil on my shoulder were finally in agreement on something for once.
In the midst of my internal struggle, my dad and Jasper were having a full blown conversation, about me, it seemed.
"...well, since you're here for a few days, I'm sure my daughter here would love to show you around!"
Shit!
"Dad!" I squealed, smacking the fuck out of his shoulder, "I'm sure Jasper is too busy doin' rodeo stuff to explore our little hole in the wall!"
Jasper smiled even wider and lifted the front of his hat infinitesimally, "Well, Alice, I would love for you to show me around! There ain't many people my age here in the circuit and I miss talkin' to normal twenty one year old folks...I mean, if you ain't busy later..."
Dear Jesus, he just toed the ground.
And, my dear, that's all she wrote. You're gonna be going on an unofficial date with Jasper Whitlock later.
"Well, I actually don't have anything goin' on later, so I guess I could. I need to go home and change before I come back to get you though." I said, making any attempt to get the hell away from here for a few hours to get my bearings and hopefully look a little bit more like the twenty one year old woman I was – not the farmhand I currently looked like.
"You look perfect, you don't have to change anything for me," Jasper said winking at me.
" Well, then, it's all settled. I'll hitch a ride home with Sam and you can just keep the truck for you two." My dad was beingwaaaaay too nice. He never let me drive his truck – citing that the one truck was more important than fifty of me.
That's a Southern man for you.
"Are you sure, dad?" I asked skeptically, "I could give you a ride home before we go."
"Nope." He shook his head, "Sam already said he would."
"Daddy," I showed him my disbelief, "When in the hell did you talk to Sam?"
Sam picked that moment to walk up to us and shook dad's hand, "I overheard ya'll talkin'. Seems like I'm takin' you home, Joe?"
Dammit all to hell.
"Yeah, Sam." I cocked my eyebrow at him, "It seems you are."
Jasper almost killed himself laughing at the antics in front of him.
"Well, you crazy kids have fun. See you in the mornin', Alice." Dad said as him and Sam made their way back to the concession stand line...but not before handing me his credit card.
Seriously, Alice. WTF is wrong with your dad? His truck, no curfew AND his credit card? Has he been drinking the moonshine again?
I honestly had no damn idea what he was up to, but turned and smiled at Jasper, "Well, what time can you leave here?"
"I'm completely done, we can leave when you want."
"Well, okay then." I said, trying to figure out where the fuck I was going to show him, "C'mon then."
We walked out the front doors to find my dad's Chevrolet Silverado. The damn truck was a monster. He had a lift kit and step bars put on it just after he purchased it, knowing that he would need them to navigate some of our land.
I attempted to hoist myself into the driver's seat after pushing the unlock button on the key chain so that Jasper could get in himself and was shocked when, as I put my foot up on the step bar, I felt hands on my hips...Jasper's hands, more specifically...lifting me up into the truck.
"Ladies first," he drawled politely before striding over to the passenger side of the truck.
I know that my face was beet red as heat radiated from my neckline up.
My breathing began to race and I found myself wanting to crank the air conditioning wide open to try and diffuse the heat that was engulfing my body.
As I turned the motor over, Nickleback blared from the speakers...my dad had amazing taste in music and had made this mix cd a couple of weeks ago...he loved Nickleback.
"Better hang on if you're taggin' along, 'cause we'll be doing this til six in the morning, nothing wrong with goin' all night long..."
Jesus. Just when I thought I couldn't blush any more than what I already was, I repeatedly get proven wrong.
I turned down the music way down and tucked my hair behind my ears before putting the truck into gear and began to drive aimlessly.
We did the normal 'getting to know you' questions before I turned the music back up a little bit, only to be horrified again:
"Pretty little lady with the pretty pink thong, every sugar daddy hittin' on her all day long, doesn't care about the money, she could be with anybody, your body bangs, you're ripping up the dance floor honey, you naughty woman, you shake your ass around for everyone, you're such a mover, I love the way you dance with anybody, the way you sway, and tease them all by sucking on your thumb, you're so much cooler when you never pull it out, 'cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth."
My mouth hung open in horror...that is until I heard Jasper's husky voice singing along with it...then my mouth was hanging open for a completely different reason.
I do need to go home and change...my cheeky hipsters...
I diverted my attention back to the road and found that we were pulling down to the end of the dirt road where I normally went in my truck when I needed to think...or just to get away from Emmett.
There was an old rope swing that swung out over a crystal clear river. I loved that I could see the whole way to the bottom and watch the fish as they swam below me as I floated above them.
We got out of the truck and raced each other to the bank. When we reached it, I stood catching my breath as Jasper stripped out of his t shirt, boots and then began unbuttoning his jeans.
"Jasper!" I squeaked, "What are you doin'?"
"I'm fixen' to go swimming in my boxers. I'm hopin' you're gonna join me."
I was awestruck as he slid those tight jeans off of his ass, stepped out of the confining material and took off jogging toward the rope. Without slowing down, he jumped, catching the rope and swung back and forth a few times before letting go to fall gracefully into the water.
He resurfaced almost immediately, "C'mon, Alice! Live a little! The water feels amazin'!"
I brought my hands up to the knot in my flannel shirt and tugged the knot open, sliding the material from my already overheated skin. Next thing to go was my boots, the Levi's and finally, the only thing keeping Jasper from seeing me in my crimson bra and panties, my tank top. As I pulled it over my head, I heard a groan from the water.
"I can leave the top on if it's that bad," I said self-consciously...Emmett had been the only guy to ever see me in this state of undress and he always made little comments about my build...apparently, God didn't give me a killer figure.
My breasts were my best attribute: a 34D. I had a small waist, a round ass and a flat stomach.
Honestly, I thought I looked hot...until Emmett made the comments he did.
"Darlin'," he drawled in a very husky tone of voice, "If you put that top back on, I'm sure it'll kill me. I now know what was under it and my mind will be tryin' to visualize for the rest of the day."
I blushed and with renewed confidence, walked to the rope where I got a good grip and swung a few times, enjoying the breeze through my tresses before letting go to flip in the air once before landing in the water.
What can I say? Been doing this for years.
When I resurfaced, Jasper was nowhere to be seen.
I panicked for only a moment until I felt his body slide up mine until he was treading water right in front of me.
His very hard, very prominent erection brushed against my stomach momentarily as he leaned in to kiss me.
We kissed for several very long moments until he shocked the shit out of me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flush with his rock hard body before using our buoyancy to raise us out of the water about a foot before flinging me into the water playfully.
We spent the next few hours in the water kissing and playing around until my stomach gurgled loudly and Jasper said politely, "I think it's time to feed the lady."
We threw on our clothes, opting to stay barefoot until our feet dried enough to not ruin our shoes and climbed into the cab of the truck.
The exorbitantly long ride back to town was full of conversation and jokes – before we knew it, we were sitting in front of the local chicken shack.
After going in and eating, I had officially ran out of ideas on where to take Jasper.
We ended up spending the night out in an abandoned field getting to know each other better and drinking beer.
The next couple of days, we spent as much time as we possibly could together...until the rodeo pulled out of town.
I was heartbroken.
We exchanged cell numbers and color me dumbfounded when he actually texted me first. Through texts, calls and picture messages, we talked more than Emmett and I even did.
After the rodeo had been everywhere it was scheduled to be for the season, Jasper came back to go apartment hunting for his down seasons.
I was ecstatic.
Emmett? Not so much.
Their first meeting was a bit colder than the North Pole at Christmastime.
It actually ended with Emmett screaming obscenities at the both of us...and him slinging red mud all over the front of my house from the mammoth tires on his truck as he spun a circle and raced away.
I gave him the silent treatment for a few weeks until he showed up at my house with a peace offering...a case of Budweiser – always a winner.
We began double dating as often as we could and the boys became tentative friends; I still hated Rosalie, so there was no headway to be made there.
Jasper and I were all but inseparable the six months he lived in town. My father was even hinting around at what he hoped would be impending nuptials for us.
Every time I broached the topic with Jasper, he would quickly change the subject – citing that marriage wasn't all that high on his list of priorities because of the broken home he grew up in. His father was more into the next piece of ass he could get than his own family.
I understood his hesitance about the situation and would immediately drop it, feeling like shit for bringing up such a sore point in his life.
Oh yeah, he played me like a damn good game of Monopoly.
The years flew by...and I didn't even realize how lonely our relationship really was. He would be gone for months at a time and even when he was home, I sometimes felt like I was by myself.
Being his girlfriend was completely surreal.
I, for once, felt like I was a desirable woman...women hated me for tying him down, men paid more attention to me because I was able to "tie down" such a quality man.
Hell, Country Living magazine even interviewed me for an article. Granted, I tried really damn hard not to throw a pity party for myself in the interview...I didn't want to be that woman. The woman who whined about being all alone in her relationship with a successful man.
I even tried damn hard not to take it personally when he came home "too tired" to make love.
Truthfully, I was coming apart at the seams.
So, when he came home last week with another woman's perfume all over his shirt and traces of lipstick on his lips, I completely lost my shit. I confronted him about it in all of my dramatic glory.
He, of course, denied everything.
I, of course, bought into the lies.
That was until tonight.
Tonight was the last fucking straw.
I was doing his laundry and unpacking his things – normally, he insisted on unpacking his bags because he didn't want to "burden me" with the boring task.
In his suitcase were letters.
Dozens upon dozens of letters. All from the same woman.
Tanya Denali.
At first, I thought they were fan letters.
Until I noticed one that wasn't in the envelope. Out of sheer curiosity, I read the damned thing.
I don't know if I'm happy that I read it or not.
My dearest Jasper,
I'm going to miss you terribly now that you have to move on to other shows in other towns. Our time together never seems long enough. The days aren't long enough to spend with you – the nights aren't long enough to fill my body's insatiable need for you. Baby, know that out of everything I'm gonna miss about you while you're gone, know that I'm gonna miss your rock hard cock most of all. I have never met a man who could make me cum so many times. The memories of the faces and sounds you make when I bring you to the brink will keep me going until I can tremble under your touch again. I can't wait until I can go from being your fiance to your wife. Then we will never have to be without each other ever again. I can't keep my eyes off of the ring that symbolizes your promise to me.
Completely and utterly devoted to you,
Your Tanya.
That bastard.
I sat in absolute silence until he came home.
I don't remember much about the confrontation – aside from me shoving the letter in his face, screaming at him and eventually slapping him in his lying face before he stormed out of the house to go to the bar in town to "give me time to cool off".
I sat on the front stoop of our, well my, home for a solid hour replaying the letter over and over in my head before snapping to action.
I began to gather all of his belongings in a pile out in the front yard. Since he was never home all that much, it didn't take long before everything belonging to him was out in the yard.
My anger refused to be denied...just putting his stuff out didn't feel like good enough retribution for all of the pain I was feeling.
I flew around back to our tool shed...looking for the blue container.
We kept kerosene just in case we needed it.
I would be put to some damn good use tonight.
I doused all of the pile with almost every bit of the kerosene in the jug and smiled smugly to myself as I grabbed Jasper's Zippo lighter from my pocket, lit it and tossed it onto the pile – catching it aflame immediately.
And that brings me to where I am now.
I stood there watching the flames dance and lick their way all over Jasper's belongings, smiling grimly as the items continued to curl in on themselves and melt into each other.
I had been so involved in my memories that I hadn't noticed the flashing lights of the Sheriff's car until the Sheriff of our small town was standing in front of me. "Well...Alice...what do you call yourself doin' out here?" "I'm havin' me a bonfire, Charlie. What does it look like I'm doin'?"
He set his mouth in a grim line as he thought how he should approach this topic. Our family has a history of being mean drunks and apparently, Sheriff Swan believed I was drunk.
"Why are you out here burnin' Jasper's stuff, Alice?" "You gotta understand, he wouldn't change, Charlie. Every time he went away, he left me cryin'. I knew what he was doin', but it took awhile to say 'enough', so now we're doin' things my way."
I set my eyes to the flames after my angry little tirade and saw in my peripheral vision that Charlie was floundering with the way this confrontation had turned.
"Alice," he scolded, "now you can't just go burnin' a man's things because he has a wanderin' eye." "Sheriff Swan," I replied testily, "if it was JUST a wanderin' eye, I wouldn't really care – Jasper has a wanderin' dick! THAT -," I said, jabbing my finger at the flaming ruins that used to be Jasper's stuff, "gives me all the right in the goddamn world to burn whatever the fuck I want to!"
My breath was heavy and my face was red – although I didn't know at this point if it was anger or humiliation that colored my features.
"Now, Alice," Sheriff Swan started, "do I need to call Joe?"
Charlie had always been good friends with my dad – they went on a once a year fishing trip to Guntersville every year to get away from their responsibilities and duties here.
I groaned at his mention of bringing my dad into this whole fucked up mess, "Now, Charlie, if I wanted my dad in jail, I would DEFINITELY call him – but since I ain't got bail money on me right now, I think it'd be best if I waited until AFTER Jasper is out of the state. Don't you agree?"
I shot him a look, knowing how he'd feel about taking his childhood friend into custody. I knew that they had already been through that and it had taken them about a year to hash things out to where they could talk without arguing again.
He startled for a moment, like he had hoped I wouldn't bring it up.
"Yeah, well, friend or not, I would have to call him to let him know I was incarcerating his daughter. Alice, do not burn anything else of Jasper's. Watch this bit burn out, then go inside and watch some tv. When Jasper shows up, tell him he's got to go and, should he refuse, call me."
I smiled at Charlie, knowing that this man meant business and Jasper would be out of my hair by sunup. For good.
"I will, Sheriff Swan," I said, turning on the Brandon charm, "I promise, I will be good."
Charlie seemed pleased with my assurance, patted me on the head in the same manner he used to when I was a child, got in his cruiser and left.
I sat and watched the remaining bits smolder into ash. Just as I was standing up to go back inside, Jasper pulled up into the yard.
He stumbled out of the truck, obviously drunk, and staggered his way to my side.
"Havin' a bonfire, babe?" "Had. Past tense," I said still beyond pissed at the man I thought I knew so well. "Well, let's go to bed...we have some makin' up to do."
He slung his arm around my shoulder and I caught a whiff of a strong smelling woman's perfume. My temper flared and I shoved him from my side. "Smells to me like you've been makin' up already, asshole!"
I was enraged, "Let me put this to you as gently as I'm able to – Get your lyin', cheatin' ass back in your truck and go back to the whore who wrote those letters!"
His smile slowly faded into an angry, grim line and his eyes flashed with malice, "You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do in my own house bitch," he spat, "Now, I'm gonna forget what you just said to me. We're gonna go inside, make up and I'll think about not kickin' your skank ass out in the mornin'."
All at once, I became incensed. I snatched my cell phone from my pocket and shot Charlie a quick text. It was only one word, but I knew he would understand..."Now!"
"Who the fuck you textin'?" Jasper was staring intently at me, "Is it a guy? Has he been sleepin' in my bed while I been out on the road makin' a future for us?"
I slapped him right across his face, "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF CHEATIN' ON YOU!" I was shrieking in his face, "I have been sittin' here, in MY house for months on end, waitin' for you to come home to me while you been out stickin' your dick into everything that gets wet for you! You can't turn this around on me, Jasper Whitlock! It's YOUR infidelity that brought us to this!"
I was shouting, at this point not even caring that not only could the neighbors hear us, but that they were standing outside watching the spectacle.
"How dare..."
He only got the first part of the exclamation out of his mouth before a flash of blue streaked by and tackled Jasper to the ground.
I'm sure things would have ended there, but Jasper's volatile temper reared it's ugly head and he started to fight back. I have to hand it to Charlie, he held his own as he firmly put Jasper beneath him on his stomach, cuffed him and recited his Miranda rights to him.
"Alice," Charlie said, loud enough to have Jasper hear him, "I will have the towin' company come get the truck as soon as possible so that you won't have to see Jasper again. Seein' as how the house is in your name, you shouldn't hear from him either."
I smiled and nodded at Charlie knowing that he would understand I heard him.
I watched the cruiser disappear from sight before walking back into the house.
Things were fixen to look up for me very soon.
Lyrics:
There's no need for talkin',
When you're walkin' out the door,
There's no need for shoutin',
'Cause you'll only be ignored,
What's the point of fightin',
You already lost the war,
Give it up,
Give it up,
You won't hurt me anymore.
There's no need to hide it,
Everybody saw your face,
Don't even make excuses,
I won't make the same mistakes,
There ain't nothin' you can do,
There's nothin' left to say,
Give it up,
Give it up,
Doesn't matter – it's too late.
Took the sheets and tore 'em up,
With all the pictures of us,
This is for the times you kept me waitin',
Piled up everything you got,
Poured some kerosene on top,
This is what you get for my heart breakin',
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love.
Sheriff, understand,
I had a man who wouldn't change,
Always left me cryin',
Every time he went away,
I knew what he was doin',
But it took awhile to say,
"That's enough, that's enough",
Now we're doin' things my way.
Took the sheets and tore 'em up,
With all the pictures of us,
This is for the times you kept me waitin',
Piled up everything you got,
Poured some kerosene on top,
This is what you get for my heart breakin',
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love.
You made your bed,
Now watch it burn,
All of my dreams,
A lesson learned,
You only got what you deserved,
The roof is on fire!
Took the sheets and tore 'em up,
With all the pictures of us,
This is for the times you kept me waitin',
Piled up everything you got,
Poured some kerosene on top,
This is what you get for my heart breakin',
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Burn it up,
Boy, that's what you did to my love,
Boy, that's what you did to my love,
Boy, that's what you did to my love.
