The chill of the October morning went straight through the shawl on Adrien's shoulders, and the breeze sneaking through her sleeves made the book she was reading very hard to concentrate on. Adam was supposed to have come the night before, but he had not. He was probably busy, she thought, he is going to be gone a long time. For three weeks to be exact.

"Why do I feel so bothered about this, " she said to herself aloud, "it's not like I'm his girl or anything like that. He has absolutely no obligation to ever see me."

She went back to reading, but the more she tried the more she realized it was not the chill ruining her concentration.

"Adrieanna Mycheala Cooper, get your head together." She yelled at herself when she thought she heard the sound of hooves near, but no matter how hard she tried not to, she looked up the drive to see if there was anyone coming. Yet, the sun coming straight in her eyes kept her from seeing. Now, without a doubt she heard a horse, but not coming from her driveway. She looked up just in time to see Adam and Sport jump the nearby fence.

Adrien's book dropped to the porch as she got up and ran down the steps to the figure before her, who had luckily dismounted just in time to for her to wrap her arms around him.

"Easy killer," he joked, " I don't think Pa'd appreciate it if I got my neck broke not even ten minutes after leaving."

"At least you wouldn't have to go." She answered, her tone, at least to Adam, shockingly wishful.

"And neither would those steers. Then you'd have two very unhappy school board members on your hands."

"I think I could make it up to at least one of them." Adrien coyly stated.

" I know you could."

She finally loosened her grip on him.

"Why didn't you come last night?" She asked.

"Hoss and Joe had me a little 'tied up' so to speak," Adam answered, with a blush and a smile.

"Oh, knowing those two I could only guess…Wait, I don't want to know."

" Don't worry I don't feel like embarrassing myself that much."

They began to walk towards the house.

"I thought you were leaving this morning, what happened"

"Actually, nothing happened. We already left."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"Everyone's already on their way. After we got out of sight of the house, I left, and told them I'd meet them in a couple hours."

"Adam, are you crazy!"

"No, I trust this foreman, he's been working for Pa for years."

"Then why do you have to go at all?" she asked, realizing how much she'd miss him.

"I do, there's a timber contract waiting for me in San Francisco too."

"Then you shouldn't have left the group. What if you don't catch up?"

"I had to leave them, I left the book I was reading here." He answered, trying to make it sound like a legitimate reason.

"Oh, you mean this one," she said, picking up the book that fell on the porch, and handing it to him.

"You've been reading it haven't you?"

Adrien smiled.

"Well, it was just sitting there, and I got a little bored, I thought I'd have it done by the next time you came by. I'm sorry; I couldn't help it. I'm almost finished."

Adam took the book from her and put it in his saddlebag.

"I guess you'll just have to wait until I get back won't you?" he said slightly perturbed, and turned to mount back up.

"Adam, wait, it's getting cold, where's your jacket?"

"I packed it, mother."

"Alright, but if you've got room there's something that I really want…I mean there's something you might…oh hell, just come here." She pulled him up the porch steps and through the front door, and to the linen closet in the hall. She pulled out a blue and purple blanket.

"Here, you might need this." She said handing it to Adam.

"Adrien, I might but I…"

"It's Rebecca's."

'Then I definitely couldn't."

"She'd want you too and you know it." Adrien persisted.

"Then can I just have it?"

"Of course." She answered. He walked back out the front door.

" I really better be going."

"Alright, I'll miss you."

"And I'll miss you." He hugged her tightly, taking a second to catch a whiff of her hair. "Behave yourself, okay."

"Okay." He let go of her, and as they did his lips slightly brushed hers, and they hesitated for a moment in each other's eyes.

"Be careful." She whispered.

"I will just for you." Adam answered fighting the urge to kiss her goodbye.

And he rode off, back over the fence to catch up with the herd.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The weeks passed slowly for Adrien. She tried to keep herself busy with reading and teaching new material, but the nights were getting colder, colder than she'd ever known in Colorado, but not as bad as Boston. Reading on the porch there would be impossible by now. Every morning before leaving for the schoolhouse, she could not help but look into the distance and look to see him coming over the hill. She'd eat lunch outside in case he'd ride into the yard. She would also stay late, so she could hold off the disappointment of him not waiting on the porch for her return.

"Adrien, get a hold of yourself, you've never been this dependant on a man before," she'd say to herself every time she found herself in a daze missing him, or counting the days he'd been gone.

She had only once admitted that she needed a man, and it had been that man. The feelings she had haunted her in her sleep, but the pain that they had brought before haunted her more.

"I will get through this…alone. I don't need him. I don't need anyone…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Adam's nights out on the range were much different. He missed her, the memory of her before she had left Boston warmed his lonely nights on watch, but the sight of her the way she was now, pained him. She seemed caged in her pain. She had built a wall around her heart too. He had to find the key… no… he must find the key. She seemed to be destroying herself, denying what she really felt.

One night Adam was sitting by himself, away from the rest of the hands, unconsciously he began to play the song he wrote for her a few years before, just as he had every night. He remembered her singing it. He had loved her so much then. He cared for her so much now.

"Do I just care for her? No, I cared for Abbie. This is stronger; this is… this is love. I love her. I love her. I don't just love her. This is real, even more now than it was then. This is true love. I truly love her. But how will I ever get through to her."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Three weeks later, Adam rode up to the hitching post alone. After tying his horses to it, he dragged himself in the house. Besides being tremendously tired, he was dusty and sweaty. Stumbling into the house, his father met him at the door.

"Adam, I didn't expect you back tonight," he said surprised.

"I've got something to take care of."

"Oh, really, I trust everything went well then."

"Yeah, picture perfect. I had the money wired to your account at the bank."

"I already knew that, what do you have to do?"

"I just need to see someone." Adam answered.

"In town?" His father questioned.

"No."

"Who is it?"

"Someone." Adam was keeping his answers short.

"Is it Miss Cooper?"

"Maybe."

"It is." Ben concluded. "Why have you taken to her so much?"

"We've known each other a long time."

"I wouldn't call four months a long time."

"Then maybe four years would be."

"Four years…you knew her in college!" Ben could not believe that Adam had not mentioned it.

"I can't believe that you didn't put it together before, especially after the reaction I had when she got here."

"I guess I never thought of it."

"Guess not." Adam disappeared up the stairs, but reappeared in his dark blue robe and a towel over his shoulder.

"That isn't exactly proper attire for visiting a lady is it?" His father kidded.

"It isn't very proper to visit someone with three weeks of dust, mud and sweat on you is it?"

"Just remember," he said smiling, "before you go calling her that she has a three year contract, and she must live up to it."

"If I remember that we made that contract when we thought that we hired a man."

"And I guess she's not a man, but she did sign it." His father reminded him.

"I know, I know, don't worry, as of now there won't be any proposals."

"That's good to know, Son."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Not long afterward, he was tying Sport to the rail of Adrien's porch. Instead of his usual black attire, he had changed into his gray sport coat and white shirt. In his hurry to get there, he had left the string tie at home. He snuck up to the house and instead of knocking; he walked right inside. Adrien was in the kitchen washing dishes. Adam stood in the door a moment and gazed at her, she was so beautiful, even more so than in Boston, now she seemed to have a glow around her.

"Honey, I'm home." Adam whispered in her ear from behind her,

"Adam, your back!" she screamed, quickly turning and hugging him, wet hands, wet apron, and all.

"Did you miss me?" He asked smiling.

"Of course I did. I had absolutely no one to talk to," she answered pulling away from him. "I wish I'd have known you were going to be back so soon."

"I'm sorry."

"So how did everything go?" she asked, settling down, and returning to the dishes.

"Fine."

"When did you get back?"

"About an hour ago."

"And you didn't head straight to bed?"

"Nope."

"Tired?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Then I should kick you out and make you go to bed." She concluded.

"Oh Master, please have mercy." He kidded.

"You're so full of it. Here," she handed him a towel, "make yourself useful."

They stood in the kitchen and silently finished the dishes. Adrien seemed to be even more closed off to Adam than before he left, he'd hoped that the time apart would give her time to remember how things used to be, but it seemed like she just had made sure that those feelings stayed buried, but he could tell that sometimes the glint in her eyes would return, so he knew that her feelings weren't dead. But she was the only one who could dig those up.

Adrien, my sweet beautiful Adrieanna, how do I ever get through to you? How can I get you to see that I love you more than I ever have before? How do I break through the wall? How do I make you realize that you love me again?