DC: Hello, peoples. As you can tell from the last chapter, Team Nightmare has gone to Middle Earth. Just as a warning, there will be a lot of movie references. Sucks if you haven't seen them! So…
Frodo: On with the story!
DC: Shut up!
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Bane, Carnage, Yawackhary, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boramir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippen began their quest for Mordor. They soon came across a fork in the road.
"Hey, a fork!" exclaimed Carnage as she picked it up. "I wonder who lost it." The fellowship pressed on. They came across an intersection. One way lead to "Snowy pass that Bane could easily get through", an other lead to "Dwarf mine that's infested with goblins that want to eat you", and the other lead to "Mordor shortcut".
"So, midget with the ring," said Bane, "Which way?" Frodo pondered.
"Let's go to the mines." said Frodo. The hobbits agreed.
"Whatever." sighed everyone else. They traveled toward the mines.
An hour later, the fellowship had arrived at a giant stone cliff.
"So, how do we get in?" asked Gimli.
"I have an idea." said Yawackhary. He pulled out a bomb and blew a whole in the wall. Mystically, a door appeared and fell open.
"Well, that was sad." remarked Pippen. The fellowship entered the mines. They were suddenly surrounded by goblins.
"Good God!" exclaimed Sam, "Who could have seen this coming?" Everyone rolled their eyes. Suddenly, all the goblins ran away.
"Well, that was weird." remarked Carnage. A low rumbling filled the hall.
"No." whispered Bane, "Not that. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!" Everyone ran in opposite directions.
"I meant all in the same direction!" yelled Bane. The fellowship ran toward the exit. They ran down the stairs. Suddenly the stairs broke.
"Dang it!" muttered Bane. They were trapped.
"Well, so long, suckers!" said Yawackhary as he flew away.
"You can fly?" asked Carnage.
"Well, duh," responded Yawackhary, "I'm a duck." He flew to the bottom of the stairs.
"Don't worry," said Bane, "I'm magic." He cast a Repair spell. The stairs were instantly fixed.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf!" exclaimed Gimli for no reason. The team ignored him and ran down the stairs. They got to the exit just as the Ballog appeared!
"Go, I'll handle the fire thingy." said Bane. Carnage grabbed his arm.
"Don't do it." she begged. Bane shook his head.
"I have to." he said as he kissed her. Carnage ran to catch up with the rest of the fellowship. Bane and the Ballog stood facing each other.
"I'm a Cat Mage, fool," began Bane, "Dark fire will not avail you, flame of Ündun!" The Ballog roared and attacked with his whip. Bane repeatedly dodged.
"YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!!!" exclaimed Bane has he cast a Teleportation. The Ballog unceremoniously vanished. Suddenly, the bridge broke. Bane grabbed on the side of the chasm.
"Bane!" exclaimed Carnage. Bane looked at her lovingly.
"Fly, you fools. And Carnage." he said as he fell.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Carnage. She broke down crying. Yawackhary held her close and sobbed also.
"He was the first and only person ever to get to know me well." said Carnage. Yawackhary nodded in agreement.
"I wonder where the Ballog went." wondered Legolas.
After discovering that the meteor was made from solid gold, Fang and Sam bought a mansion in Beverly Hills. (A/N, That's where I want to be.) To celebrate, they threw a hypo-party and invited everyone.
"So, Fang," said Ciel, escorting Cream, "You appear to be doing well." Fang nodded.
"Yes. Pardon me for a second." He walked over to Samantha.
"Samantha, I'm sorry we were interrupted last time, but," he got down on one knee. "Will you mar-"
Suddenly, the Ballog landed on the mansion, catching it on fire and burning it to the ground in seconds. The Ballog stood up, looked around, shrugged, then went on a rampage that leveled most of California.
"BANE!!!!!" roared Fang, Sam, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and everyone in California.
"We must press on." said Legolas. The fellowship trudged on through the forest. Suddenly, Frodo ran away chased by Boramir.
"Whatever." muttered Carnage. She had turned into an Emo/Goth at Bane's fall. Suddenly, orcs surrounded them. The fellowship fought fiercely. Boramir died, Frodo, Sam, and Yawackhary ran away, and Carnage, Merry, and Pippen were kidnapped. The orcs ran away with their captives.
"Let's hunt some orc." said Aragorn.
"I can't swim!" said Sam.
"Sucks for you." said Yawackhary as Sam drowned.
"NO!" exclaimed Frodo as he jumped in the lake and drowned. Yawackhary shrugged, got in a conveniently placed boat, and paddled up stream.
"Looks like I'm going alone," thought Yawackhary, "I hope Carnage survives." He cried as he paddled along.
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Well, that was spoofy. I apologize for my butchering of LOTR. I like it as much as the next guy. So, will Carnage survive? Is the ring lost? Is Bane really dead? Do you actually think I'm going to tell you? REVIEW!!!!!!!! (and stay tuned.)
