Dipper woke up with a hangover. Wendy had convinced all of them to drink more of the spiked punch and they had all gotten drunk. When Ford wasn't busy being lovey-dovey with Bill, he was yelling at them whereas Stan was encouraging them. He'd actually gotten them to taste different types of alcohol, which had, in hind sight, been a terrible idea. Now Dipper felt sick and just thinking about alcohol had him nearly puking. He trudged from the attic to the second floor and found Mabel in the bathroom, looking as terrible as he did. She was mindlessly glancing in the mirror, not paying particular attention to her reflection as she steadily seem to fall back asleep.
"Mabel." He said, his voice hoarse.
"Hun?" She mumbled and lazily glanced in his direction. "Dipper…"
"What are you doing?" He asked, walking to her side.
It took a minute for Mabel to come up with an answer. When it dawned on her, she turned to the cabinet in front of her and pulled out the Tylenol pills Dipper also sought. He had never been drunk before but he had heard that that particular medication helped with the ordeal. His sister shared the pills with him and they both swallowed them whole. Mabel then poured herself a glass of water and drank all of it before refilling it and passing it to her brother.
"I feel terrible." Mabel groaned.
"Me too." Dipper huffed, "I don't even remember most of what happened."
"Grunkle Ford's going to yell at us." She lamented.
"I hope he doesn't." Dipper said, "I can't stand loud noises right now."
"I'm kinda hungry." Mabel said.
"Ugh, don't mention food." Dipper moaned, feeling very nauseous all of a sudden.
"It makes me sick too but I think it'll help…" Mabel insisted. She took her brother's hand and dragged him from the bathroom, "Come on…"
They plodded to the main floor and to the kitchen where they found their Great Uncles and Bill already sitting at the kitchen table. Bill was sat awkwardly in his chair, like he couldn't get comfortable no matter how hard he tried. He clutched a mug of what appeared to be coffee in his hands which he sipped at every now and again. Stan sat on the opposite side but not directly in front of the ex-demon. A plate of toast laid in front of him, on the page of the newspaper he wasn't reading. Ford, on the other hand, leaned against the counter and drank his coffee. He eyed the twins with an unimpressed glance as they walked into the room. Dipper could feel the chastising about to start.
"How do you feel?" Stan asked, hardly looking away from the newspaper.
"Terrible." Mabel said.
"Good." Ford stated dryly.
"Oh, don't be so harsh on them." Stan said, "They're teenagers. Drinking underage is a thing most kids their age do. We did it. Get over it."
"It's not because we did it that it means it's okay." Ford pointed out.
"Could we not do this?" Dipper asked as he grabbed a box of cereal, "At least, could we not do this right now?"
Ford frowned but shrugged. "I guess your current state ought to teach you both a lesson." He mumbled.
"Did you two at least sleep well?" Stan asked, ignoring his brother's final comment on the matter.
"We honestly don't remember much of the end of the night." Mabel admitted.
"Lucky." Stan sighed, "I wish I could forget the scarring sounds I heard…"
"Stanley!" Ford snapped, a dark blush colouring his cheeks.
"If you could be quieter next time, that would be fantastic." Stan said shamelessly, "And by you, I mean Bill, obviously."
It took a moment for the twins to understand what with their inhibited state. Once they did, they couldn't help the horrified scowls that appeared on their faces. Mabel – being the most imaginative of the two – was half way to clawing her eyes out in a desperate attempt to keep her far too active mind from conjuring images she really rather not see.
"Oh my god!" She cried, "No! Don't tell me this!"
"We really didn't need to know that." Dipper added.
"Well I didn't either but I didn't get the luxury of that choice." Stan stated.
"Stanley, stop." Ford said, slapping his hand over his face in embarrassment.
"You couldn't spare us!?" Mabel whined. "What did we do to deserve this?"
"Consider it a punishment for getting drunk off your asses." Stan said, "Not that I really care but, as an adult, I have to be somewhat responsible."
"And this was your solution!?" Dipper asked though he did so a bit too noisily and he winced at the own loud sound of his voice.
"Just drink responsibly next time." He said.
"Next time?" Ford snorted.
"You know it's going to happen whether you want it to or not."
"I just came for food." Mabel whined and slumped down on the nearest chair. "I didn't want this…" she then glanced at Bill and complained all the more, "I can't even look at you the same way…"
"How come?" Bill asked, "I already told you we were dating, like, thirty years ago and that this body was around. Did you really think we didn't have sex?"
"Ugh! No! Don't say that word!" Mabel begged, "Especially not in reference to Grunkle Ford!"
"Geez you're immature." Bill said, rolling his eyes as he sipped at his steaming coffee.
"So that was how you learned about Bill and I." Ford concluded, "He told you."
"Yeah." Dipper said, "And, you know, about the body too. Why didn't you tell us yourself?"
"Because I didn't think either of you would be too eager to hear about my past love life." Ford said, "And by the looks of it, I was right."
"Love life and sex life aren't the same thing." Mabel said, slamming her head on the table. "The images won't stop—!"
"Did Grunkle Stan know?" Dipper asked. Stan hadn't reacted at all to what they had been saying so it was safe to assume it was because it wasn't news to him.
"Yes." Ford answered. "We had a heart to heart shortly after Bill reappeared."
"I'm against this, for the record." Stan stated, glaring at Bill.
"Don't worry about it." Bill sighed, "The twins made me promise not to hurt him."
"I gather you helped him plan yesterday's stunt." Ford said, unimpressed.
"It was all my idea." Mabel said, "And I regret everything now."
"You kids…" He sighed and shook his head, though a light smile played at his lips.
"But this means you're together now, right?" Dipper asked.
"It's not that simple." Ford said and his smile faded a bit, "Bill and I have a lot to talk about and sort out."
Dipper huffed and left it at that. He fetched two bowls, two spoons, and milk for he and his sister. He brought the things back to the table and poured a bit of cereal into both bowls, pushing one towards Mabel. They ate slowly but regardless how much time Dipper took, he wasn't able to eat anymore after two spoonfuls. He couldn't fight the nauseous feeling that was quickly becoming overwhelming so he decided to stop before he regurgitated what he had so recently consumed.
"I wanted to discuss the next steps in our plan to deal with the Warlock," Ford sighed, "But I guess we'll wait until tomorrow. Today will be a rest day. I'll be doing research."
He swallowed the last of his coffee and left his empty mug by the sink before leaving. Bill quickly jumped out of his seat and trailed after him with a "Hey, Sixer!" Dipper noticed how the blond limped and he forced himself not to think about what that meant. He didn't need to think about how Ford and Bill had had sex the other night.
The rest of the day was spent uneventfully. Mabel and Dipper lazed around the living room for the most part, recuperating from their hangover. The TV had been fixed a few days before, Stan having installed a new satellite dish and everything, but they refused to watch anything. Everything was just too loud. Dipper swore he would never drink excessively ever again.
