Hey! I'm back! ...I think. For a while anyways. Hopefully I haven't lost too many of my totally awesome and faithful reviewers during this long break. Yes I have been done school for a long time and I actually passed organic chemistry (I'm still in shock). Sadly my only excuse for not updating is I've been too busy... well... having fun I guess. Lame, I know but it's the truth. I'm super sorry for the utter lack of updates and I promise I'll try to make it up to you guys

P.s.: 200 reviews guys? Thanks!

The car ride lasted an eternity. What should have been only an hour felt like days as Jacob sat trapped in the confines of Sam's pickup truck. His fingers endlessly tapped on the door as his impatience grew with every second that he couldn't be at Bella's side.

Once again his eyes flickered to the speedometer, willing it to inch further, but to no avail. Sam was already pushing the vehicle well over the speed limit. Any faster and they would be almost guaranteed a ticket that neither of them needed.

Finally they approached the Port Angeles city limits and Jake let out a sigh of relief, but then instantly tensed again. He was apprehensive about what he would be faced with upon entering the hospital. A glance at Sam told him that the older man was just as worried. Jake gripped the armrest until the plastic cracked.

The parking lot at the small Olympic Medical Centre was nearly empty when they finally arrived, so Sam parked haphazardly near the doors and the pair rushed in through the emergency room entrance.

A bespectacled woman, hair pulled severely back into a tight bun, glared at them from behind the triage desk. Ignoring her glowering expression, Jacob hurried forward and immediately began to hammer the woman with questions.

"Isabella Swan. Where is she? Is she okay? When can we see her?" he was speaking so fast he could barely understand himself.

"And what is your relationship to the patient?" the woman asked condescendingly.

"I'm her best friend," Jacob replied without pause.

"I'm not authorized to give you that information," the receptionist retorted. She was already turning back to her computer screen, dismissing him.

Jacob couldn't stop himself. He slammed his hands down on the table in front of the woman, causing her to jump and give a small shriek of alarm. Before he could say anything that he would regret though, Sam placed a firm hand on his shoulder, then leaned forward so he could speak calmly to the woman. "Ma'am, I know that you aren't allowed to disclose a patient's information to anyone other than her immediate family, but we're the ones who found Bella, and right now we're the closest thing to a family she's got. If you'll just tell us how she's doing, I promise we won't bother you again."

The receptionist glanced briefly at Sam, but quickly turned away as she responded. "I'm sorry sir, but I simply can't give you that information."

Jacob stared at her in disbelief. They were finally so close to Bella that he could feel it in his bones and yet they were being held back by this unreasonable, inconsiderate woman. Jacob's hands, which still remained splayed on the desk, balled up until they were clenched tightly into fists. He looked to the ceiling praying for patience and was surprised to feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Hurriedly he swiped them from his face and cleared his throat before he whispered shakily, "please..."

That was it. Just one word. But it was enough for the receptionist to look over, and finally a look of compassion swept her face. "Please, call me Beth," she said to Sam as her fingers began working furiously across the keyboard. "Your friend is still in surgery, but she's listed as being in stable condition. If the two of you could please find a seat in the waiting room, I'll update you if anything changes." She gave the boys a weak smile and turned, reluctantly this time, to get back to her work.

Jacob had so many questions that he still wanted to ask her, but Sam wrapped an arm securely around his shoulders and lead him to an empty row of chairs in one corner of the room.

Time inched by, crawling at less than a snail's pace. Jacob couldn't stop fidgeting as he waited, twisting from side to side, trying to get comfortable in his unyielding plastic chair. As he slouched back trying to find a better position, he felt a bulge in the back pocket of his cutoffs. He reached behind him and pulled out the folded stack of Bella's letters, all but forgotten in the madness that had ensued since that morning.

Quickly, Jacob glanced at Sam but found him leaning back in his chair, resting with his eyes closed. Carefully unfurling the stack and pressing it flat in his lap, he began to read each of the letters that Bella had written to him, but had stopped sending to him knowing that her earlier messages had remained unopened. Each new sheet tore away a fresh strip of his heart as he continued to read about the horror and despair that Bella had been going through while he remained in La Push, oblivious. He was continually drawn back to one letter in particular. It looked newer than most of the others as the edges were less tattered, and yet it was the one in which Bella's scrolling cursive was the most obscured by tearstains. Holding the precious sheet in his trembling hands, he once again read the note that he now had memorized, the pain filled words having seared themselves into his brain.

Jacob,

I don't even know why I keep writing these. You'll never read them. Well, maybe one day you will if he really does end up going too far. Anyways, I just needed to tell you: I made a mistake. I don't know what possessed me to ever think that he would be good for me. Now I know what I should have figured out long ago. I just can't believe that it took me sitting here, staring at a pool of my own blood to figure it out. I made a mistake Jacob Black. I never should have chosen him. I know it's too late now to change anything but I just needed you to know. If this letter ever makes it into your hands Jake, please know that I love you. I always did, and I always will for the rest of my life, however long that may be.

Isabella Marie Swan

He kept reading the last line over and over again, lightly tracing the words with his fingers. She had loved him.

He was broken from his revere by a loud commotion coming from the hospital entrance. Looking around startled, he realized that Sam was no longer beside him, but at the centre of the disturbance, trying to calm a very agitated Charlie Swan.

"She was in your care! You should have been protecting her! How could you let this happen?" Charlie roared, his face a dangerous shade of crimson.

"She was attacked Chief Swan. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect her," Sam replied holding his hands up defensively.

"Attacked? By what? One of those goddamn giant wolves? I knew I should never have let her go camping with you and your gang of irresponsible young hooligans..."

"It wasn't a wolf Charlie. Again, I'm sorry, but I can't reveal to you who was responsible. Now if you could please just try to calm down..."

Jacob hadn't even realized he'd moved until he was standing directly between the two men, looking Charlie squarely in the eye. "It was Edward," he stated firmly then watched as all of the color drained from the Chief's face.

"E-Edward?" Charlie stammered uncomprehendingly. He looked back and forth between the two Quileutes a few times before his eyes once again locked with Jacob's. Seeing the conviction there, Charlie's jaw set and he turned away, his hand going to his gun as he exited the hospital doors.

"Charlie wait!" Sam called after him, but his pleas were ignored. Finally, once Charlie's form had disappeared into his cruiser, Sam turned to Jacob, a look of frustration clouding his eyes.

"Do you really think that was wise Jake? Charlie's a human. There's nothing he can do in this situation except cause more trouble." Sam growled, his voice too low for anyone else in the waiting room to hear.

"He had a right to know the truth," Jacob argued, though his eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"He'll only get in the way," Sam sighed, but the fight had left him. "Go take a seat, Bella should be out of surgery soon."

Jacob nodded and flopped clumsily into the nearest chair. As the hard plastic jolted his body, he couldn't help but wince at the pain that suddenly swept through his torso. Immediately he tried to cover it up but knew he was too late as Sam quickly squatted in front of him, looking at him with a concerned expression.

"It's your ribs isn't it? From when Edward attacked earlier?" he stated more than asked.

"I'm fine, the adrenalin must have taken the edge off," then at the look on Sam's face he automatically protested, "I don't need a doctor."

"Jake, if you don't heal properly, the pack is down a wolf. You know better than anyone that we can't handle that right now," Sam said soothingly.

Jake refused to look at him, but after a moment nodded grudgingly. Sam lightly squeezed his shoulder then sat in the plastic chair next to him. "Go get yourself checked in. I'll send Carlisle when he has a moment," Sam mumbled as he picked up an old edition of Sports Illustrated. Jake got up slowly and made his way to the front desk.

After filling out some paper work, a nurse led him down a long corridor and pointed him into a small private room. She handed him a slightly ratty looking hospital gown and began to speak to him as he slipped it on. "I understand that you'd prefer that the doctors and nurses from the medical centre not treat you out of respect for your religious beliefs. Dr Cullen will be here as soon as he's available. Until then, feel free to make yourself comfortable and don't hesitate to call if you need anything." She finished her speech with a dazzling smile that Jacob only replied to with the slightest of nods. Her smile faltered slightly at his dismissal and she quickly left the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Relieved to finally be alone, Jake stumbled to the small bed wedged into one corner of the room. The lack of sleep and the trauma from the past day had finally caught up with him and he almost melted into the bed as he made to lie down. Before he could form another complete thought, he was asleep.

That definitely was not where I intended to end this chapter. It was suppost to end with a cliffie =( oh well... This was more of a natural break anyways.

But good news people... things will start to get happier in the next chapter (I said start. Don't be expecting rainbows and unicorns right away, that's just insanity). I must say, I really am excited for the somewhat happier portion of this story. It feels good to get all of this angst out of the way!

And I'm also pretty excited for the midnight screening of Eclipse next week. High fives for cookie worthy abs! (Sorry for the lame SNL joke haha)

Review please!