Hey! So.. its been a week. Hope you guys havent killed eachother.. or anyone else for that matter... o-O Anyway. Here's what I'm sure many of you wanted to know.. well one side of it. Ugh, i almost lost it! Laptop was being an idiot and almost shut down on me in the middle of saving! Heheh.. but its all good now! Yay... heh. So yup. Hope ya like it!
Songs: (Suggest some songs people! I love music and I cant think of what to use here!)
Mad world-Adam Lambert OR Gary Jules
~Jace~
"Well…" Alec began "You see… um… its.. its hard to explain but um…" We were all looking at him expectantly.
"Well.. tell the story! Or I will! And we all know that Im not good at telling this.." Iz blurted out through her icecream haze.
"Ok. See, Clary had this dog, right? And her mom. No I mean her Aunt.. uh.." Alec just couldn't seem to say anything. Was it that bad? Wait. Her dog? What? Did it die? I mean, I understand that it's a pretty crappy thing to happen, I wouldn't know what to do without Jack. But still, that happens to every pet owner! Jon sighed and helped me up. He than walked me over to the couch, somewhat awkwardly patting my shoulder while gesturing for the rest to follow. We all sat down except for Jon, he stood in front of us all.
"When we were kids, Clare and I, our parents… well they weren't like most parents. They.. they fought. A lot. And sometimes, because I sure as hell didn't have the guts, Clary would literally walk right up to our father… and she would laugh." Jon paused a moment for me to take the small information in. Laugh?
"But.. why would she-" I try to ask. But Iz elbows me and when I look over. She already had tears in her eyes. IZ? Crying? But she only glared at me and stuffed more ice cream in her mouth. I looked back over at Jon, nodding for him to continue.
"She just sit there, or stand, or just jump around him, and laugh. The first few times he just yelled for her to go back to her room. And eventually, when he realized she wasn't going to, he would just leave. Than days later come home drunk off his ass and start all over again. Than when we were about… I don't know, I'd say.. Clary was 9 and I was 13. He got worse. He'd come home, drunk and with a few random people that we had never seen before. Sometimes it was a few guys and some woman. Others it was a few woman. But there was always some chick with him. Mom of course knew why he brought them. I did too! But nobody knew that Clary knew. Until of course one night she stayed up. Yeah, it was normal for her to be up. It still is! But this time she decided to wait for him. She sat there all night and waited until he got home. Than he came in. And sure enough he had one of his "Lady Friends" with him. And Clare, she was insane! She walked right up to our dad and smiled at him, than she'd walk over to the lady. And she would laugh. She would literally laugh at the woman, than make fun of her. She'd say something like "This is the replacement!? HA! She's a flippin skankbag! She's not nearly at pretty as mummy! She doesn't even have pretty curly hair! And she smells like she's been lying in the street! You know what, I bet she has! I BET ya DAD.. that she is what the tellyvision calls a.. pro.. pros…prostitute! YEP! Hey.. is that a flea in her hair?" That's exactly what she said. To every single one of them. Usually the woman would just laugh and mess with Clare's hair or they'd make some face at her and have some make out scene right in front of her with dad. Either way, she would just stand there and watch. But after the 5th or… 10th night of this, dad had enough. Let me tell you something. In all the years that my parents were together they never hit or hurt each other. I know this because while Clare was standing up for our family, I'd be a little wimp and go to my moms room and ask her question after question about anything. "Anyway, long story short. He never hurt mom. She never hurt him. But… after that night. He just.. snapped. Before she even finished her little taunt, he let go of the woman, pushed her behind him. Than he knelled down… and slapped her. And he slapped her hard. Straight across her face. And ya know what? She didn't fall, she didn't cry, nothing. She just turned her head back to face him. And spit right in his face. After that, all I know is that it got worse and worse by the months. On her 10th birthday, that was the last year we spent here before we moved to New York for some job that Mom got, he surprisingly showed up to her party. We were all amazed. He hadn't come home for a couple of nights and it was beginning to worry me and mom. We didn't know about what exactly happened every night. She didn't show any signs of being hit or kicked or punched. Not a single clue lead to it! But.. I just should've known… It was horrible what he did on her birthday. The whole day he was smiling and being kind and sweet to Clare. And he made balloon animals for all of her friends and helped with anything she wanted done.
"Than, I noticed a few things out of place. First, I couldve sworn Clare said and I quote "On my 10th birthday, I'm gonna have a HUUGGEE pool party at Si's house! Cuz he's got the hugest biggest pool ever! And I can push him in too." She said that when she was five. When mom was planning the party the week before it, Clary freaked out when she saw the invitation was to meet at Simon's house for a pool party. When we asked her why she just shook her head and screamed and ran upstairs! So we just moved on with it and changed it to our house.
"That was one thing that I noticed. Second, and I know this may sound somewhat weird to you, but she would always ask mom or I to help her with her take a bath. Than suddenly she just didn't want help anymore! She freaked out yet again when we tried to ask why. Third… when I looked more closely, I noticed that she had a small flinch or gasp whenever anyone, especially Dad, even touched her in the slightest ways. Grab her shoulder, she jumps. Bump into her, she says ouch. Yeah, yeah. That'd be normal for any girl. But Clare isn't some weak and meek little girly girl. She'd kick your ass any minute if she felt like it! I mean, she used to at least. Than, when it was time for presents. Dad took her away. He said "I have a very special gift, just for you. Because its your big day."
They were gone for probably almost an hour. But nobody except for a few of us actually noticed. I mean, she had already opened all of her presents and everyone was having fun. But mom, Simon, and I all noticed. And we were really starting to freak out, right? We waited and waited and waited. Finally, they come out. And she is holding a puppy, with Dad right behind her, grinning like some evil madman. She looked half scared, half overjoyed, if that's possible. She was kind of limping a little but other than that she looked just fine.
That was probably the last day I saw her look happy. I mean, a real happy kind of look. Sure she smiled and laughed but none of it seemed right. For the next two years she had that dog, played with it, took care of it, everything. She truly loved it. But I remember one time, I saw Dad's hand. It had two, long gashes across it. I asked him about it and he simply grunted and said, 'Oh that? Eh, it's nothing. Just a few scratches from wrestling with Jacky!' It sounded reasonable enough, though I still stayed a little suspicious. Two weeks later, I'm sitting up in my room when I hear a bunch of screaming and shouts. I look out my window and Clary is in the middle of the street on the ground, Mom and Dad are yelling at each other. Only Dad was starting to push and shove at Mom. I look behind them and I see Dad's car in the road as well, but when I looked closer, I… Jacky was underneath it. I ran outside and snuck past the arguing, and ran to Clary. I knelt down and light grabbed her arm. She moaned and looked up at me, than over to the car.
'He did it on purpose. He.. he took him from me and tied his leash to the car… a-and drove over him.' She mumbled, never looking away from the car. I had enough. This was the final proof I needed to know that Dad wasn't going to push us around anymore. I walked over to him, tapped his shoulder, he turned around probably about to yell at me too, than I punched him. He of course didn't take it lightly. For the next year, he beat Clary up constantly. I'd come home from school or a friend's house and she would either be in bed or on the floor somewhere. No matter where she was, she was covered with fresh cuts or new bruises. He would never hurt any of us except her. Only her. Just because she actually had the nerve to be stronger and stand up for us.
"Finally, after last year. I convinced Mom to move us all back here. It took forever to plan it but, we picked a day where we knew Dad would be gone and packed up all of our stuff and drove off to Clary's school. We told her to just get in the car, that we were going for a long vacation. She immediately asked me if Dad was coming and bolted into the car when I told her that the vacation was to get away. You shouldve seen the look on her face when Mom said where we were moving too. She seriously must've smiled and laughed the whole way here. And it was real this time. She told stories about how she would go in the woods with Simon or play video games with all of us or spending nights over here with Izzy, even though we knew them. But than when we got to the house, the house she was secretly tortured every night, she went back to her locked away self. And that's pretty much all that's happened as far as we are all aware of. That's why she's like this. So hidden, locked up, and depressed all the time." Jon finished with a shrug of his shoulders and sat down on the coffee table behind him. I had to take a minute or two to absorb all of what was just told to me while they all stared at me with either watery or red eyes.(Except for Magnus. He had ran out of the room through half of it, crying) So. That's why. I.. I just cant think about this.. I don't know what to think.
I bent over and put my head in my hands, pulling hard at my hair, just trying to think. I looked at them through my fingertips, my hands over my face, just scanning their faces. Iz was hugging her box of ice cream to her chest, Alec had his eyes closed and head resting on the arm of the loveseat, and Jon was staring right back at me with the same position I was in. I need to go think about this. I sighed, suddenly getting everyone's attention, and stood up. I walked over to the shoe rack where I had learned that I must keep my shoes and put them on. Iz followed me to the front hallway though. Guess Jon and Alec were expecting me to do this.
"Where the hell do you think your going!?" Iz yelled glaring at me while still holding onto her ice cream.
"Out." I mumbled, not even looking away from her as I laced up my shoes.
"Excuse me!? But we just confessed our best friend and sister's life story as to why she's so sad and broken and you just think you can leave!?" she yelled again, throwing she giant spoon around in random motions, than pointing at me.
"Yes." I stood up and walked over to the door, and before shutting it I decided to say one more thing. "Oh and, your excused." I smirked, but without much effort, and slammed the door shut. I could hear the spoon clang against the door along with her shouts and curses as I walked off. Well, after I nearly tripped over a passed out Will. I walked to the one place that helps calm me down and helps me think.
~Clary~
After I heard Jon leave, I opened the door. I knew Mum was probably downstairs worrying over me and all that. So I walked into the bathroom, with Church at my heels. I climbed into the empty bathtub and just sat there with Church curled up next to me. I slowly combed my fingers through his soft, thick fur and tried to think. No. Your too stupid to think. Ha! You barely have half the brain of your brother. He's gonna make a difference one day! Not you. Your gonna lie in the streets, doing anything for a bit of food or money. You're a stupid slutty bitch. That's all you'll ever be. I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears, trying to just shut him up, though I knew it was all in my head.
"Go away! Leave me alone! Your gone! Its not real. None of it…" I curled up and held my legs to me, rocking back and forth. You're scared. Weak. You cant do anything! Your such a fucking disappointment! Why cant you just be like you brother and do what your told! You wouldn't have to be such a winy and scared little bitch all the time if you just acted more like him! Or you could just end up like you little 'Mummy' and be a little prude ass-bitch! Your just like her! Stupid, fucked up, little scared mummy's girl, aren't you? I need to get out. I have to get out of here. Anywhere but this room, this house.
I went back to my room and opened the window. I grabbed my jacket, phone, and headphones. I put my headphones around my neck and put my phone in the back of my ripped up jeans. Pulling my jacket on, I put Church on my bed and gave him one last pet before I climbed out the window. Standing on the window sill, I looked around for that little hole that helped me drop down to the garage roof. Finding it, I put the toe of my shoe in and lowered myself down and let go of the sill. I dropped onto the roof with a small thud. Thank God I barely weigh anything! I stood up and backed up a bit so I could a running start for the jump from the roof to the brick wall that had a good landing on the other side if I fell off. Which I wont of course. I made a leap and landed right on top of the wall, knees bent and hands out to steady me a little. I walked a little ways down the wall before I got to the back road. I jumped down, landing in a pile of leaves and dirt. Nice. Don't remember that being there. Whatever, Ive been dieing to get a little messed up anyway. I brushed a little of the dirt off my hands and walked across the road.
I found myself in front of a large and long hedge. And then I did my steps along the hedge.
"1. Simon is funny. 2. I am weird. 3. He likes clowns. 4. I scream 'Bears!'" I stopped and turned to the hedge again. I reached in and grasped what I was looking for. I pulled out my old skateboard. That little bastard broke me board! I used this way to much for it to look brand new! Ugh, I'll deal with him later.
I ran back up to the road and took off. I use to skate all the time before I moved to New York. But I didn't bring my board with me because the other two I had before I left, He broke. So I just made a deal with Si that we could hide our boards and stuff here and he made up some stepping/ counting thing to get to them from my house. I missed the old days, where we would do some of the craziest stuff. We thought about making a treehouse once but of course than Iz and Magnus got involved and she wanted to be leader even though Si and I started it and he wanted to paint the whole place glittery and sparkles, while me and Si just wanted it to be black and red. It was so easy as a kid. Well, kinda. The days were fine, but the nights. Well… Im not 'allowed' to think about. Stupid therapist. Thinks I'm some frickin nutcase.
I finally reached the place I wanted to be. I 180 it and ride down the sidewalk that lead to the small park in the woods.
Nobody comes here anymore ever since some murder that happened here. Honestly, I just don't care. I'm not gonna stop going to my favorite park just because of that. I pick up my board and lean it against one of the trees near the swing set. I sat down and just kicked at the dirt and grass. Weird. Yeah. I guess I could be described as a little off. But im not insane. Im just like any other kid at school. Everyone is a little bit screwy, some of us are just better at hiding it, while those who are good at hiding it, or even not good, usually have something pushing them into the insanity level. Take me for example. I'm weird and definitely not normal, but I can hide it. I've been doing a pretty good job at it so far. At school at least. Oh wait. Don't forget that Mr. Perfect had to come along and barge his way in my life. I cant believe I let him see my scars. Its one thing to let you brother or mum catch you or see it even, but to let some total stranger see them… no. Well give yourself a break! You do kinda know him. I mean, technically you spent half your real childhood with him. You just.. never noticed.. I guess. "Huh… That's weird.." I mumbled to myself.
"I know right? Who would've thought that you and I would meet up once again! Its crazy too beca-"
"Wholy Shit!!" I flung myself out of the swing and turned around. Standing there was none other than Mr. Perfect himself! He was on my board trying to do some trick that he obviously…had no idea how to do.
"cause I was just thinking about ya." He finished off, looking up at me. He jumped off the board and stood there with his hands in his pockets and looking straight at me. Why is he looking at me like that..?
"What the hell are you doing here!" I shout at him. He just shrugs and walks over to the swings, near me. He looks down at me at if he's trying to find something. I give him my "Uh.. are you okay.. in the head…?" look.
"Can I help you find something or are you just gonna stand there and just stare at me?"
He seems to snap out of some trance and looks into my eyes, smiles somewhat.. sadly. Than sits down on one of the swings.
"Did you know, that there was a murder right there where your standing?" he asks while twisting round and round and spinning. Ugh. That's gonna give me a headache. I walk over and grab the chains, pulling him to a stop with him staring at me expectantly. I glare at him.
"Yes. So why is it that your here hmm? Someone send you to check up on me or are you just stalking me? Either way I'm not going anywhere." I sit down in the swing next to him and go back to kicking at the dirt.
"That's funny I was gonna ask you the same thing. And nope. This is just my place so. I'm here." I can see him through my side vision and he's still looking at me weird.
"Stop that." I tell him while digging the toe of my shoe into the earth.
"And exactly what am I suppose to be stopping?" he says back
"I'm not an idiot and you need to stop acting like one. Now we both know your hiding something so spit it out or I'm leaving." I glance-glare at him than glare at the ground.
"Cool. Leave than. Ya can't make me tell you whatever you want."
"Your such a child you know that?" he was starting to get on my nerves.
"I've been told that many times, yes." He nods his head in agreement.
"Your trying to change the subject. Tell me or else I wont tell you." Got him there.
He stops swinging and twisting, and drops his head. He than glances over at me for a moment, once again searching for something, than shakes his head and sighs.
"I already know so don't bother." He mumbles. Those little f*in twits! All I asked him was that he let me decide who to tell! Than he goes off and tells the one person who I already had plans to block off!
"K. Let see, which routine should I use this time?" I stand up and put my hand on his shoulder "Look, its not you! Its me. I just cant do this. I'm gonan have to leave ya." He looks at me bewildered. "Nah. That's worn out. Oh I know." I cross my arms over my chest. "Look Bud. It was a fun ride. A good couple of ya know, hours. But im just gonna have to cut ya outta the deal. I cant handle this crowd and neither can you. So just back off." He kept looking more and more confused. "Yeah. That one's good. K, well, see ya! Nice knowin ya. Wish I could stay but hey! I don't, so looks like your gonna have to go solo now."
"Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on! What the heck are you doing!? Where are you going?" he shoots out of the swing and grabs my arm. I flinch and yelp from the touch. His face is suddenly full of regret and panic. He quickly lets go and puts his hands in front of him as if he's trying to reassure a scared animal.
"Im so sorry, I forgot! I.. I didn't mean to hur-" he starts to apologize but when he said it I snapped,
"Hurt me? Is that what ya thought? Oh! Well that's funny because the next day after that first night. That's exactly what he said!" I yelled, slapping him across the face for good measure. Don't even dare apologize to me after everything. He holds his hand to his face, probably more shocked than hurt.
"I.. I.. didn't know." He said in a quiet voice.
"Oh so Jon and the gang didn't tell ya everything! Because of course they would actually have to know anything about it for them to tell the legendary story of 'Clary, the scared little bitch who leanred to grow up!' Well tough news for ya buddy, they don't know crap about what happened because everything they know is from Jon. Everything he knows, he found out through a goddamn therapist. Everything they know. I said. And ya know what they diagnosed me with?" he slowly shook his head, still in shock. I narrowed my eyes.
"Compulsive lieing" I finish off. His eyes look understanding in a way as if he now understood it all.
"Yep. So hey! Who knows? Anything to everything you know about me is some a fuckin lie from the group of 'Yes, yes. Uhuh. Oh yes I understand how you feel just perfectly.'" I throw my arms out to my sides and let them fall back down as I turn and walk away.
Though the little friggin genius ran in front of me and put his hand out, making me stop.
"Oh look! Golden Boy learned to stop the psychopath! Good little boy! Want a gold star?" I say, my voice full of sarcasm.
"Can we please just talk?" he asks. Wow.. he actually thinks he's gonna be able to figure me out
"K, Golden Boy. What do you want?" I sit back down on the swings and sway back and forth. He sits down in front of me, ducking every few seconds so he doesn't get hit.
"Well I have a mystery to solve." Naw? Really?
"Oh and your expecting me to help you?"
"Well you're the mystery so yes."
"Well why dont ya go ask someone else to help ya. Cause good luck cracking this nutcase!" I knock on my head to show him out serious I am about it. He just shakes his head.
"Im not sure I really want anyone else" he said, looking up at me sadly. Wait. What? I stop swinging and stare at him.
"If that's your idea of a pick up line, than you can take a long walk off a short bridge buddy. Cause its not workin." He once again looks like he's been slapped(Oh wait.. he was.)
"Why cant you just be serious?" he asks
"Why cant you understand that its gonna take more than just annoying the hell out of me and talking to a few people to figure me out?" I grin at him and go back to swinging
"Do you always answer questions with questions?" he asks
"No but you obviously do." I counter back. He chuckles a little at that. Huh.. he's kinda got a cute laugh
"Yeah, guess so. And in answer to your question, I don't know, honestly. Jon and Iz, they've told me a lot but, none of it connects without your help."
"None of what connects?" I ask
"Um, well, your story and my issue."
"Your issue?" I say, confused on how my life had anything to do with his problems.
"Yeah see, I realize that yeah I grew up with you around when we were kids but.."
"You don't remember." I finish for him. Nice. That was really cheesy, dude.
He looks up at me and smiles with a knowing look in his eyes.
"Yeah.. same for you huh?" he says, chuckling again. I nod, smiling a little back.
"Well, at least you don't have weird dreams." We both say. I snap my head up, looking at him, as does he.
"Shit.." I say while he murmurs "No…way"
