NARUTO'S MENTAL EXPERIMENT JOURNAL DAY 1 - BLOOD AND CHAKRA
Hey self! This is my entry for the first day of experiments. I hope these textual mneumonics actually work, because I can't write this down, and I certainly can't trust the Kyuubi (hi Kyu!) to remember for me if I don't trust him to help in the first place.
Anyway, today was a productive day. I got some rough numbers for how much my control decays over various distances. It was sort of a tricky proposition - how do you even measure that? - but I settled on measuring the average error when using my chakra to move 1ml of my own blood 1 foot (e.g. 1% off target, 5% off target...). I had to use part of myself to get numbers on how good my control is inside myself. More on that later.
So! Going outside my own skin cuts my control by a factor of 10, right off that bat. Going a foot away from me cuts it by another 10, and going more than a dozen or so feet costs another 10. So 1000x worse than normal when I'm trying to diguise a log for the Body Replacement jutsu. Rough!
But what does that mean, exactly? That discontinuity at the boundary of my skin is just begging to be exploited.
So, here's what I've found out:
* Just putting something in my mouth, or even swallowing it, doesn't do anything. My control jumps at the edge of my tongue or the walls of my stomach.
* If I put food in my stomach and wait, bits and pieces of it break off and get digested, at which point they count as part of me. It isn't continuous, though. I can feel my control shoot up instantaneously when it's digested "enough". Simple carbs like Ramen go through this process fast, like within a minute, and once it's part of me Kyu can use his Chakra on it to turn it into flesh or blood or whatever and heal my wounds. MAJOR PRIORITY #1 - figure out what causes this sudden shift, see if I can abuse it.
* Stuff I can't digest never counts as part of me. There are some weird edge cases here. If I eat something with iron in it, like enriched breakfast cereal, I can affect the iron pretty fast, but if I just swallow an iron nail nothing happens. MAJOR PRIORITY #2 - figure out how much I can push this, and why it happens in the first place.
* If something is removed from me, it stops being part of me as soon as there's an air gap. (Or a water gap, or anything really.) Cutting off a piece of skin isn't very helpful. If I put the removed body part back in place, it immediately counts as part of me again, no need to "digest" it. If I damage it enough, though, that effect stops. MINOR PRIORITY #1 - figure out the limits on this; how much time apart from me, how much cell death, how much abuse, etc.
* MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH #1 - Things count as part of me as long as they are alive, were once part of me, and are connected by an unbroken path of living cells. If I dip my finger in a pool of my still-living blood, any bits of severed flesh in the pool count as part of me! If the blood dries, though, it counts as dead. It takes about 20 minutes for even a small amount of blood to completely dry out (although it might take less in a dryer environment), so this is probably good for an entire fight. URGENT PRIORITY #1 - figure out techniques that leverage this. MAJOR PRIORITY #3 - is there a way to keep blood from drying? How long will the blood cells count as "alive" outside my body if I do keep them from drying? (This may take more than a day to test.)
* MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH #2 - Bones count as alive, as long as they're in contact with me! (Hair and nails don't, unfortunately. Nor do earwax, urine, sweat, tears, or excrement. Most cartilage does.) Bones take a relatively long time to "die", and they die from the inside out, so my control over the surface is good for a long time. URGENT PRIORITY #2 - figure out a way to form my bones into weapons without freaking everybody out.
* URGENT PRIORITY #3 - Learn medical Ninjutsu! It will make things so much easier. It may also let me do more with the fox's Chakra in my clones.
* MINOR PRIORITY #2 - Find a cheaper source of Ramen for bulk calories. Maybe put on some weight?
* MINOR PRIORITY #3 - Learn more about seals. (This would be an urgent priority, but I still don't know where to learn more.)
* LONG-TERM PRIORITY #1 - Figure out the underlying rules here. This all seems pretty random, and it would give me a better idea of where I could cheat.
~o~O~o~O~o~
Naruto lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling, but not truly seeing it. He was committing his journal entry to memory. It was relaxing, in a way. He didn't need to think about anything complicated, like Hinata; just run through the words over and over. Even the Kyuubi was being quiet. It was, he realized, the first peaceful moment he'd had in a long time.
He let his mind wander a bit, once he was done. Thinking about using the Kyuubi's chakra in his clones had reminded him of something...
Hey, Kyu?
Hm? I take it you're done.
Yeah. I have a question, though.
By all means.
Earlier today, with Hinata, my clone took quite a bit of abuse without popping. It got thrown into a thorn bush, then Hinata landed a pretty solid hit. Any idea why that might have happened?
Hm. Intriguing.
So, what, that's a yes?
I have a few hypotheses. Tell me, do you know why your clones "pop", as you call it?
Erm...because otherwise the technique would be way overpowered?
Hah! You may be more right than you suspect, meat. But the proximate cause is that the damaged clone deviates too far from your "normal" self. The technique has very little processing power, so it offloads most of the work by using your own conception of yourself to form and manipulate the chakra bodies. When the bodies deviate too far from this self-conception too quickly, as when they are struck or punctured, the jutsu is unable to compensate and the entire effect falls apart.
Hm...that's kinda vague, but OK. And why didn't my clone pop this time?
Perhaps it is simply the result of practice? Or perhaps your self-conception has become more fluid? Those two might go hand-in-hand; from the perspective of what you remember, you're now spending the vast majority of your time in chakra bodies. We will need to keep an eye on this.
Naruto nodded absently, drumming his fingers. Something else the Kyuubi had said...
So, just hypothetically, Kyu...
Yes?
If I were able to change my self-conception, would my clones change as well? Because that could be really useful; I could produce a clone that's a small fly, for example.
A clever thought, meat, but impractical. Your true body would fail to function, if your self-conception were so radically altered. You would be unable to breathe, for example.
Drat. What about-
A purely cosmetic change? It's certainly possible on a theoretical level, but I'm not sure quite how one would go about it. Maybe a memory-altering jutsu? In any case, there are easier ways to diguise yourself. Even with your poor control, it would probably be easier to simply master your Transformation jutsu.
Naruto's face fell. He hadn't even realized that he'd been smiling.
Don't take it so hard, meat. It was a good thought. And one you should keep in the back of your mind; a true Shinobi must know many impractical techniques, simply because one of them will frequently become practical at the strangest of times. If you continue to have clever ideas, it can only end well. As long as I am here to guide you away from the more dangerous ones, that is.
Naruto drummed his fingers absently.
Actually, Kyu, that brings up another question I've been wondering about. Why doesn't everyone use the Shadow Clone to train?
You mean aside from the fact that they haven't read the forbidding scroll you "stole"?
Yeah, aside from that. Why doesn't the Hokage use it for example?
Who said he doesn't?
Wait, does he?
How should I know?
KYU!
Alright, very well. The question you mean to be asking, meat, is why doesn't the Shadow Clone underpin every sufficiently rigorous training regimen, since it accelerates the process so drastically? Or, rather, why haven't you heard about it being used in that capacity?
Yeah, that!
Well, I'm sure that some powerful ninja do use it to train. For many, however, it is not nearly so useful as it is for you. Remember that your chakra is split evenly between your true body and the clones. For most ninja, splitting their chakra this way would render them unable to practice their most powerful jutsu, and what's more, their chakra pathways would eventually atrophy due to lack of use. You, meat, are unique in that the chakra available to you - that is, my chakra - vastly exceeds your ability to handle it. You can split into 4 clones, and still use your chakra pathways at maximum capacity.
Wow! I am amazing!
Moreso than you might think, meat, even setting hubris aside.
Was the Kyuubi trying to be...kind? That was a chilling thought. What could...
Naruto's face fell again. He'd thought of something else while his mind was wandering, too, and of course the Kyuubi had picked up on it. Actually, the Kyuubi must have known he was done memorizing the second he'd finished. It wasn't like he was alone in here. Which meant...
Indeed. You might as well come out with it, meat. You'll feel better afterward.
Well...it's just...you know, Hinata...
Is a very unhappy young girl.
Yeah. That. And, it's like, there's no...I dunno, there's no reason for it. She should have everything. Her family is powerful. She's powerful. She could beat 99.99% of the planet's ass in a fight.
Considerably more than that.
So, why? I mean...why does it have to be that way?
Well, as we discussed, the Hyuga succession-
Naruto slammed his fist into the bed, taking care not to break it in half. That's not what I mean!
...ah. Are you curious, then, why the world is cruel? Why people must suffer?
No! I mean, that too, but...I'm not talking about people who lose their parents in an earthquake, or are born into slavery, or...or any of that. That sucks too. But everything went right for Hinata. She was born into a powerful house, in a prosperous village, in a time of peace. I guess her Mom died, which sucks, but that's not the root of her problem. It's like...how can things go this wrong without anything actually going wrong?
I see. You don't understand why those in power - such as Hinata's father - would create a world where their own children suffer? Not by accident, but simply as a matter of course? Why the world is set up so that children like Hinata are systematically crushed, not by entropy or fate or their enemies, but by their own loved ones?
Er...yeah. And, I mean, I know that it isn't everyone-
It's more than you might think, meat. Hinata. Sasuke. You. Kakashi had his own tragedy when he was younger, from what I remember. While I am not intimately familiar with the entirety of your genin class, I would guess that fully half of your classmates lead lives of quiet desperation, in one form or another. And the Leaf, especially under Sarutobi, is among the kindest of the hidden villages.
Why? How-
How is it that the warmest of the ninja villages, under the kindest Hokage in its history, is so full of sad children?
Yeah, that!
Naruto waited for a response. The Kyuubi usually replied instantaneously, and it was a little unnerving to have him hesitate. The young ninja realized he was holding his breath and let it out, slowly. He forced his shoulders to relax. He was really worked up about this, maybe because Hinata's life had reminded him of his own.
After a full minute, the Kyuubi picked up the conversation again.
There is no way to say this, meat, that will truly comfort you. Believe me, I have looked for one. So in lieu of comfort, you will have to make do with brutal honesty.
The root of the problem, meat, is that Ninjutsu must be learned while young if one is to maximize the student's potential. On top of that, it is best learned in...stressful situations. Combat, for one. The Leaf is kinder than most on this front. There have been villages where students are forced to kill each other to graduate.
But being kinder doesn't change the fundamental calculus. The Leaf is, essentially, in the business of producing child soldiers, who with luck and training will go on to be among the most destructive forces in the world. Perhaps that doesn't sound strange to you, since you've been raised in it, but in most parts of the world using children as soldiers is considered a war crime. And the clans are dynastic, of course, which introduces its own problems.
Most children spend their time engaged in play or wholesome work. That is normal for humans. So when you have children who are instead raised as lethal tools, surrounded by death and terror, with sole responsibility for an ancient line thrust upon their shoulders...well, it doesn't usually end well. At least not for them. The hidden villages exist to produce well-calibrated weapons, not well-adjusted human beings, and they do a damn good job of it, all told.
Naruto sighed. He didn't really have anything to say to that. It seemed...well...it was just sort of depressing. If this hadn't come up, he'd probably still be jumping for joy over his experimental progress. Literally jumping. Or maybe going out for Ramen. As it was, though, lying in bed and feeling depressed seemed like a better choice.
At least now he was thinking about it, though. He could do something about it. Maybe. When he was Hokage...
Naruto frowned. Hm. Being Hokage didn't seem quite as glamorous as it had a few hours ago. He'd always known that the job involved hard decisions, but...choosing for Hinata to end up like she did, even if it was the right choice...he wasn't sure he wanted that.
His dark mood didn't last for long though. He was Naruto Uzumaki. He'd become Hokage, and then he'd fix things. Simple as that.
~o~O~o~O~o~
"Simple as that, huh?" Kakashi asked.
Sarutobi nodded. "Simple as that."
"And why, might I ask, are we doing this now?"
"Elementary, my dear Hatake. Imagine that you are Hiashi-"
Kakashi closed his eyes, wrinkling his brow. Sarutobi smiled. Most other ninjas, even other Jonin, would have taken that as a rhetorical request. Copy-ninja Kakashi, however, was actually imagining himself to be Hiashi. He was good at it, too.
The two ninjas were once again sharing tea in Sarutobi's study. Kakashi had just finished reporting on Hinata and Naruto's antics. Shortly thereafter, they had begun to plan.
When Kakashi opened his eyes, looking rather more reserved than before, Sarutobi continued.
"Now, Hiashi, imagine that Kakashi comes to you with this proposal. Since you're Hiashi, you of course know that it was at my request. You probably know several other things you have no business knowing, as well, and you see the proposal immediately for what it is - a plot on my part to strengthen Hinata and harm your eventual attempt to oust her. Now, tell me: why should you go along with this plan?"
Kakashi sipped his tea calmly. "I can't see any reason why I would, Hokage-sama, if it's a plot against my interests. Unless I had some deeper plan...but that isn't a very productive line of thinking."
"Indeed, indeed. Tell me, Kakashi, are you familiar with the term 'Adverse Selection'?"
Kakashi dropped his Hiashi-mask and blinked. "Hm...I'm afraid not."
Sarutobi nodded. "Nor would I expect you to be. It's a term from demon-lore, which I know you have not studied. And I envy you your ignorance."
Kakashi waved it off. "Let's give you one less thing to envy, then. Tell me more."
Sarutobi nodded, stirring his tea thoughtfully.
"Well, let's say a demon wants to play a game with you, as demons are wont to do. Worse, the demon wishes to make one of their famous unbreakable deals. He is willing to gamble his eternal servitude against your life. High stakes, in other words."
Kakashi nodded along. It was less riveting than folk-stories about demons and their games or bargains, but the shape was the same.
"The game is a simple one. The demon wishes for the two of you to go straight to your home, speaking to no one, and open the third cabinet from the left in the kitchen. If there is a spoon in that cabinet, he will take your life for his own. If there is no spoon, you will have his eternal servitude."
Kakashi raised his eyebrow. This was deviating rather drastically from the template.
Sarutobi leaned back in his chair, looking pleased. "Well?"
"...well, what?"
"Do you take the bet?"
Kakashi didn't even have to think. "Of course not."
"And why not?"
"Because if he's willing to bet so much, he must know that there's a spoon in that cabinet. He probably just put one there."
"Exactly. That's what the demons call Adverse Selection. The fact that he wants to bet with you means that he thinks he's going to win. By definition, he only wants to offer you bets that are bad for you. So why take the bet?"
"I see the parallel to our problem with Hiashi. Why take a bet, or follow a plan, proposed by someone who wants things to come out badly for you?"
"Indeed. So, tell me, why do people ever bet with demons?"
Kakashi rubbed the back of his head at that one. "Er...because they're foolish?"
"True, but sometimes even the wise bet with demons. What causes them to do it? What if, say, you knew sign language, and so without speaking you could signal your wife, at a distance, and tell her to remove the spoons from the cabinet?"
"Well...does the demon know I know sign language? Because, if so, he must have taken that into account. Perhaps the spoon is glued to the cabinet."
"Aha! Now we're getting somewhere. You only want to bet with the demon if you know something that he doesn't know you know. And vice versa. Assuming the demon thinks you're smart, he only wants to bet with you if he knows something that you don't know he knows. That's why smart people bet - because they each think they know a secret that the other doesn't suspect. And perhaps they do; in the end, it might come down to which secret trumps the other."
Kakashi scratched his chin thoughtfully, letting his eye wander over the room as he pondered.
"Hmmm...it's certainly an interesting perspective. I'm afraid you're still a step ahead of me, though, old friend. What secret does Hiashi know, that would make him amenable to our proposal?"
"Oh, I have no idea. And perhaps he has no such secret, or dislikes the plan for some other reason, and will reject it out of hand."
"Then I'm afraid I still don't follow."
Sarutobi smiled. He enjoyed games like this a little too much for his own good.
"Well, I'm afraid I misled you a bit with my previous explanation. Let's say you and the demon both wish to bet. By the previous logic, you both have a secret. So now, since you're both smart, you both know that the other one has a secret. You may think your secret is better, but it is still a risky proposition, especially because you know that the demon must think his secret is better. And so on."
"Er...yes, I see the problem. So how do you break out of that loop?"
"Well, that is actually a point of contention among scholars of demon-lore. The demons themselves say that two perfect demons, after making their positions clear, should estimate the exact same probability of the spoon being in the drawer. They may bet with foolish humans, but they will never bet with each other simply because they disagree. As a general rule, they only bet for reasons besides the stakes."
"Besides the stakes?"
"Yes. In our original story, the stakes were valuable, the bet was trivial, and there was no cost to not betting."
Kakashi pondered this for a moment. "I see. And if you relax any of those three..."
"Indeed. If the stakes were trivial, you might bet simply because it would make an amazing story. Or if the subject of the bet were important, and the stakes less dear, you might care enough about the outcome of the bet to risk the stakes. And, of course, if there is a cost to not betting...well, there's a reason why poker players have to ante."
Kakashi took a moment to absorb this. Sarutobi busied himself with the silly tasks of existence, scratching and shifting, leaving Kakashi to his thoughts. Finally, the Jonin spoke:
"Hm. That...makes sense, I suppose. I'm a little fuzzy on why an important bet changes the equation, however."
"Well, there are many ways. You see, betting proves what people actually believe, and perhaps more importantly changes people's behavior. If you were to stake your life on the success of a mission, I would then know with virtual certainty that you expect the mission to succeed. If I took the bet, then you would presumably go to great lengths to ensure the success of the mission, which you otherwise might not have."
"Ah! Yes, I can see that. So sometimes the bet is more important than the stakes themselves?"
"Or else they are equally important, and the goal is simply to change the spread of risk. That is how shipping insurance works, for example. But we're getting off topic."
"Quite."
"Now, in our particular case, the stakes are valuable, but so is the bet, and there is a high cost to not betting. If Hiashi does nothing, Hinata will eventually succeed him; if he wishes to change that, then he must be willing to take certain risks. He is still a cautious man, but he is at least willing to play."
"I see. So Hiashi has already 'anted' and if he folds every hand he will eventually lose. But still, why now?"
"Why any other time?"
"That doesn't really answer the question."
"No, but it frames it correctly. We are not trying to pick a good time to act, but the best time to act. And, for our purposes, the best time to act is early on, while Hiashi still believes Hinata can be saved, and while we have time to recover from any errors. We are acting now, specifically, because things are just beginning to change rapidly."
"And why is that the best time for us to act?"
"Well, if things were stagnant, Hiashi would be deeply suspicious of any plan we proposed. He would wonder what had precipitated it, and worry that we had a secret while he did not. Hinata and Naruto are moving toward...well, something age-appropriate, I hope. Hiashi will believe that we have learned something from this, and knowing the 'source' of our overture will put his mind at ease. Further, he may well have drawn his own conclusions from it, and have a secret he may wish to bet with."
"Why not wait until things are changing even more rapidly, then?"
"Well, as talented as Hiashi is, he is a very ordered man. He works best when he understands everything that is going on, or when he believes as much. I, however, thrive in chaos. He knows this. I know this. Where he plans, I simply react, and if we wait for Genin Team 7 to throw more balls in the air, he may simply decide that he cannot handle the complexity as well as I can, and grow hesitant to bet once again."
"I see. So this is our only window?"
"It is our best window."
"And why do we wish to bet at all? Why not let things become 'chaotic', and then let Hiashi fold over and over again until he is running out of time and must take a worse bet than he would now?"
Sarutobi sighed. These conversations with Kakashi were fun, and he would enjoy them more if the subject matter were less serious.
"Well, we have anted too, you see. We're not playing a zero-sum game here. If Hiashi fails to oust Hinata when she is older, it will not be a pretty thing to watch. He will gain nothing, but she - and possibly Naruto - will lose a great deal. As I have said, I would like to finish this while he still believes that she might be saved, even if he thinks it unlikely."
Kakashi nodded absently.
"Hm...a very pretty explanation, I have to admit. And that detour into demon-lore was certainly an effective distraction. But, if you will excuse my saying so, that justification seems entirely too complicated. I suspect that you have more information - a 'secret', as you say - which, for the good of the leaf, you cannot share with me."
Sarutobi smiled sadly at that. "Ah. An entirely reasonable suspicion, old friend. I will remark, however, that sometimes very simple principles have very complicated explanations."
Kakashi inclined his head respectfully, drained his cup, and left.
~o~O~o~O~o~
End
