Hey, three chapters in one week! Woohoo. (Or not woohoo since I think I have the plague and haven't been at work and that's why there's been a few more updates!) I hope you enjoy this chapter! (and there's a little sneak preview of twelve over at my Tumblr - andablaine - Come join me ;D)
It took Blaine quite a long time to realise he wasn't crying against the cold hardwood floor anymore, that he wasn't by himself. When he was younger, after Cooper had left, he sometimes willed for someone to be there so hard that he could almost feel a pair of arms around him and he genuinely thought he had been taken back to that point in his childhood before he heard a low hum come from the body wrapped around him. He was stunned, it was Kurt. Kurt had come to him and Kurt was holding him, once more. After Blaine's tears had subsided Kurt managed to coerce him into standing up and going over to the sofa, quietly grumbling that he'd never get the creases out of his pants now, one quick look up at Kurt showed that he was only kidding and Blaine let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.
Kurt sat down on the sofa, the corner closest to the entrance, and pulled Blaine down next to him. He positioned the boy so that his butt was flush with Kurt's right thigh, his legs slung over Kurt's and his head on his teacher's shoulder, just tucked under his chin. Kurt kept his arm curled around Blaine's shoulder, as if holding him in place and he wrapped a spare hand, lightly, around Blaine's ankle almost to keep him grounded.
The complete absurdity of the situation struck Blaine as almost funny and he let out a small, watery, laugh. Kurt looked down at the boy, almost, in his lap and whilst he was glad his tears had finally stopped he was a bit surprised to hear the odd laughter come from him.
"You okay, sweetheart?" His voice was a soft rumble against the top of Blaine's head and he drew in, another, shaky breath before squeezing his swollen eyes closed.
"Maybe." Blaine shifted a little so he could wrap his arm, which was trapped between them, around Kurt's waist allowing Blaine to shuffle closer to him. Kurt gave Blaine's ankle a small stroke and matched his breathing pattern to the boys, trying every comforting trick he could remember from Rachel's hysterical Broadway-Dream days.
"It's okay if you're not alright, Blaine."
"They want me to consent to… To sign some documents that release Seb from any responsibility he has to me. To my Baby." He raised his head away from Kurt's chest as his agitation surrounding the situation grew but he quickly realised he had no energy to follow through with any angry rants and dropped it back down to its original place. "They want to give me money."
Kurt was stunned, he knew the boys weren't in an ideal situation but Sebastian wanting to give away all his parental rights to his own child seemed vile. They were basically buying Blaine off, trying to make him go away and therefore all consequences and repercussions Sebastian should be facing would be sat with Blaine. He frowned, with confusion, what kind of people would want nothing to do with their first grandchild. He didn't know what to say, he had no words for Blaine. He was angry, and disappointed, on the boy's behalf but he could not find any phrases to convey the way he felt. Anything he would say could not make what the Smythe's wanted to do disappear; it would be stuck with Blaine.
Kurt heard a small hiccup come from Blaine and it snapped him from his reverie. He might not be able to offer him any verbal comfort, placating words that it would all work out, but he could hold him and lately that's all he seemed to be able to do when around Blaine.
They were quiet, together, for just over an hour. Blaine's tears dried up and no new one's seemed to be coming. The occasional sound of a car passing outside or the next door neighbour's dog barking at thin air weren't enough to interrupt the bubble the two had created in Blaine's living room. Blaine shifted slightly next to Kurt and that movement was enough to signal to his brain that he really needed to pee and his stomach was almost cramping from sheer hunger. He had no idea how long it'd been since he last eaten and he was trying to figure out how to politely tell Kurt he needed food and toilet, not necessarily in that order, when his stomach did half the job for him and growled loudly, almost echoing in the room.
A small chuckle escaped Blaine and Kurt sat up a little straight, taking his arm away from around Blaine. Blaine got up to his feet and looked back down at Kurt, shyly smiling at the open care he saw reflected in Kurt's eyes. "Have you had any dinner?"
"Oh. Um, no. I was going to order in but I came here first." He rubbed a hand over his face, attempting to hide his expression from Blaine, it was only just hitting him just how ridiculous, and stupid, his actions had been. He was currently alone, with one of his students, in said student's home. The fact that the student was pregnant was secondary, if anyone found out he could be in a world of trouble. "I should go, actually. Will you be okay?"
"Oh." Blaine dropped his gaze from Kurt to the wooden floor, about to speak when his brain helpfully reminded him that he still needed to pee. He quickly ran to the bathroom, calling out "Don't leave just yet! Please?" over his shoulder.
Kurt couldn't find the words to give Blaine an answer, the panic on his fear was abundantly clear and the concern he felt for the boy was at war with the world's logic and his need to protect himself. It's a bit late to worry about logic, Hummel. You're here. The damage is done.
Blaine had come back into the room, babbling away at Kurt in his nervous state. "Coop left some food; he always makes sure I'm stockpiled in leftovers. I think its lasagne tonight. Would you like to stay?"
His request slipped out in more of a desperate plea than he had wanted to use with Kurt but Blaine really did need the company and, if he was honest with himself, Blaine just wanted to be around Kurt. He watched as Kurt stood up from where he had sat back down on the couch.
Kurt was ready to tell him no, it wouldn't be appropriate to stay any longer, he had made sure Blaine was okay and now it was time for him to leave but Blaine's eyes were still slightly puffy from his tears and Kurt couldn't deny the boy any more than had already been taken from him. "Sounds great. Is there anything you need me to do?"
"Oh! Um, no. Everything just needs to go in the oven. Coop even left some garlic bread." Blaine started walking toward the kitchen, Kurt following slowly behind him. Blaine opened the fridge and took out a large tray of lasagne. "Is this okay? Do you like lasagne? Its vegetable."
Kurt walked around the kitchen counter and opened the oven for Blaine. "Even better, yes."
"Do you cook a lot at home?" Good, Blaine, fill the silences with small talk. Maybe you can distract him so much he won't start thinking about leaving.
"I try to. I mean, when my dad got ill I, sort of, took over all meal times. So I kept some of that routine. Even when I moved back to Lima, permanently" Kurt moved out of Blaine's way and sat on a stool at the opposite side of the counter, his gaze following him as Blaine put together a small salad.
"Do you miss New York?" Blaine moved about the kitchen, appearing to be fairly confident in his actions, but Kurt could sense his anxiety.
"Sometimes. I don't miss the crowds."
"Does everyone speak with a really big accent and shove everybody else like the movies?"
"No." Kurt laughed and Blaine decided that it might just be his favourite sound. "Not always. It can get like that but it's nothing like Ohio, where everything moves at its own pace." Kurt was beginning to feel there was more to Blaine's questioning but he decided to stay quiet, wait him out.
"When did you come here?" Blaine was slicing carrots, every now and again popping one into his mouth.
"My dad died when I was in my second year of College, I was trying to live between here and New York but when he got really ill I decided that I needed to be here full time. So, after a very teary few days with Rach, I packed everything up and moved back. There just never seemed a right time to go back." He paused, leant over to where Blaine was chopping still, and grabbed a lone carrot stick and chewed on it for a bit.
"How old where you?" Finished with the carrots, Blaine moved on to creating cucumber chunks.
"Nineteen, almost twenty." I finished high school a bit earlier than I should have – just needing to leave. Rach and I made a pact that we'd get to New York as soon as possible so we did everything we could. Went straight from McKinley to NYADA." Kurt gestured as he spoke with the remains of the carrot stick.
Oh, just great Blaine. First Sam and his brother and now Mr Hummel and his parents. Maybe you shouldn't be allowed to talk to anyone male at all. The good mood Blaine had tried to forced himself into shattered and Blaine wiped away a few tears that had escaped his eyes, not really sure who he was crying for. "I'm sorry."
Kurt caught Blaine trying to surreptitiously wipe away his tears and reached for his hand. "Thank you, sweetheart, but there's no need to cry. Dad… He dated a bit, once I'd gotten older, but he wasn't a hundred percent without my mom." And just like that Blaine's tears returned, Good Job Kurt, not supposed to make him cry even more.
"Hey, hey, honey. Stop that." Kurt was on his feet and around the other side of the counter before Blaine could even put down the knife and cucumber. Kurt took them from his hands and put them on the counter before pulling Blaine into his arms for the third time that day. Kurt knew he shouldn't be getting used to this but Blaine just felt… perfect against him.
Blaine settled into Kurt's arms, letting him hold him again. Stop, Blaine, just stop crying. Please. "I'm sorry; all I do is cry on you."
"I've told you before, we'll just blame to hormones, sweetheart." Kurt pressed his lips to the top of Blaine's head and stepped away from the boy. "Let me finish the salad and you go set the table, yeah?"
Blaine wiped his eyes and allowed himself to be shuffled away from Kurt's warm embrace. "Okay."
Blaine had put candles on the table.
Kurt wanted, so badly, for this to be what Blaine so clearly, albeit innocently, hoped it was but he couldn't allow either of them the luxury of even entertaining those types of thoughts. Blaine was only seventeen and, still, one of his students. The Education Board would have solid grounds to fire him on a mere hint of any impropriety and he wouldn't be able to teach again, not just in Ohio but in America. Everyone would write him off if they found out why he'd be fired from McKinley. But, on the other hand, he didn't have the heart to tell Blaine it was wrong, he couldn't cause him any more pain. Not right now.
A large portion of him wanted it, he wanted everything with Blaine but he didn't know if he was just an infatuation for the boy, something he was able to focus on whilst the rest of his life was walking away from him, leaving him crying in the dark but his mind wouldn't allow this to be any more than an appreciation. He knew Blaine was an attractive boy, he was smart and his wit was second to none, on his good days. The second night he had found Blaine at The Lima Bean had changed everything. After he told him all about his family Kurt felt a connection between the two, it had sparked to life that night and had been burning brighter and stronger every time he had seen Blaine since. He didn't know what it was about Blaine that made him even entertain the possibility of throwing everything away. He was toeing the line seeing Blaine as much as he had, coincidentally or not, outside of school but he couldn't stay away.
Kurt didn't know and he almost didn't want to delve into any deeper reasons for why he was so drawn to Blaine. He didn't know… And, for just one night, he wouldn't care why. He could worry about the why's later. Tonight he was just going to sit down and eat dinner with a beautiful boy and enjoy the company of some-one that wasn't a dog or another faculty member.
And he did just that, they talked about everything and nothing. Their families, people they knew, pets, music and ambitions… And not once did Kurt think he was talking to his student, someone ten years his junior. He was just with Blaine.
Blaine was setting the table, putting down a fresh tablecloth and setting down the cutlery and plates when he saw the candles sat on the side. On a, partial, whim Blaine decided to set them down on the table as well, he smiled a little as he lit them. He knew he was being a bit hopeful, he was fully aware of that, but a big part of him just wanted to pretend that this was real, that he belonged to someone and they were about to have a nice dinner together.
Kurt had stopped in the doorway, the steaming pan of lasagne in his hands, whilst he took in the scene in front of him, Blaine and the table setting. Blaine was suddenly afraid that Kurt was going to tell him that this was all wrong and take away everything, possibly even leave but he didn't say anything; he just sort of blinked a few times and walked over to the table.
Blaine couldn't help but just watch Kurt as they spoke over dinner, studying the way he moved and admiring the sparkle in his eyes when he was talking about a subject he was passionate about, even the sadness hidden in his gaze when family was brought up. Blaine also saw the sympathy when he explained, very briefly, why he lived with Cooper and not his parents. Kurt kept thinning his lips, as if trying to keep his comments in, and Blaine just found it… Adorable. If his actions of that afternoon hadn't shown how protective he had become over Blaine then his reactions throughout the conversation cemented it.
Blaine felt like he was walking on air, Kurt's attention was solely focussed on him, he did this head tilt when he was rambling off on a tangent and Blaine couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking when he did that because it kept driving Blaine to distraction again and again. One of Blaine's favourite things about Kurt was his eyes, they kept changing blues throughout the dinner almost transforming from an intense and dark to a clear bright blue when they changed subjects.
It was almost surreal, Kurt being in his house, having dinner with him but he just couldn't bring himself to care. This moment, this evening was worth all the shit that had happened and the craziness in his life, because it felt good. It felt right. Blaine wanted more than anything for this to be real, he wanted it in a way he never wanted anything else. He found himself wondering if he was being too obvious, if Kurt knew what Blaine was thinking. Did he know? Could he sense that this was more than just a crush now?
Kurt wasn't sure what subject they were on anymore, he was content in just watching Blaine, listening to the smooth tones of his voice, smiling at the way his hands would flit around when he got a little excited and wanted to emphasise a point, how the candles he had set out at the beginning of dinner were lighting up the olive tones of his skin and almost making his amber eyes dance in the dim light. Kurt could swear that Blaine's eyes were calling to him; his thick lashes drawing him in, letting him drown in their depths.
Kurt found himself having to sit on his hands, fidgeting, because they itched to touch the boy. He alternated between sandwiching them between his thighs and the chair and playing with random objects on the table. Time had almost ceased, it crawled to a stop, so that he could catalogue every single trait of Blaine, each individual characteristic of the boy.
It felt like only minutes had passed when Kurt noticed Blaine trying to fight a yawn escaping his mouth and he knew that was his cue to leave, the boy must be exhausted. And you know if you don't go now, you won't go until morning.
"C'mon, let's clean up so I can get myself home."
Blaine's face fell instantly and Kurt cursed himself for his insensitivity, the last thing he wanted was to make Blaine upset, he had come to adore Blaine's bright smile. He scrambled around in his brain for a way to lighten the mood once more. "I'm old, sweetheart, I need to get my beauty sleep."
"You're already gorgeous…" Blaine mumbled under his breath as he got up to his feet, a smile back on his face and the sight warmed Kurt's heart.
"Well, how do you think I got this way?" He chanced throwing a wink across the table at the boy and laughed when his actions got a balled up napkin thrown at him.
Having the both of them cleaning up made short work of it all, they worked together like they had been doing it for years and when the last of the dishes was dried and put away Blaine let out a wide yawn.
"Sorry. My bedtime's getting earlier and earlier these days." They were standing next to each other, at the kitchen counter, and Kurt noticed that Blaine was leaning rather heavily onto it.
"It's okay, sweetheart, I understand." Kurt watched him, his heart reluctant to leave Blaine alone again. "Are you going to be okay by yourself?"
"Oh yes! We have an alarm that we set at night and I've got all Coop's numbers just in case." Blaine stared down at his fingers playing with the edge of the counter, refusing to look up at Kurt, slightly afraid he would see the empty hope in his eyes. Blaine didn't want him to leave.
"That's not what I meant, Blaine." Kurt's voice dropped slightly, sending shivers down Blaine's back, he moved closer to the boy and Blaine swore he could feel the older man's breath on his neck.
"I know." Blaine whispered softly. "I'll be okay, I guess." Blaine chanced a glance up at him and froze under the intensity of his gaze.
He watched Kurt grab a napkin and a pen from the side and scribble something down before handing Blaine it. "That's my cell number; it's on all the time. If you need me…" His voice drifted off, blue focussing on liquid amber, wanting nothing more than to be close to the boy.
"Thank you… Kurt. For everything, for tonight." Blaine stood a little straighter; pleading to whoever was listening that Kurt wouldn't be able see the need there.
"Blaine." It was just his name but the way Kurt said it made it sound almost like a prayer.
Blaine tilted his head up at him then, his heart clear in his eyes and he was lost. Kurt's hand reached out and ghosted his fingers tips across his cheek, brushing down his cheek bone and trailing over Blaine's full lips.
Blaine couldn't move, almost couldn't breathe, his heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it felt like thunder, he could almost hear it in his ears. Every hair on his body was standing up, every nerve was singing at Kurt's touch. His eyes were burning through Blaine, Blaine's mind pleading for his kiss; he wanted Kurt to never stop touching him.
Kurt suddenly dropped his hand away from Blaine's face and Blaine thought he could weep at the loss of contact; he must have made some noise because suddenly Kurt mumbled something under his breath, so low that Blaine couldn't catch the words, before he was stepping closer to Blaine, his chest almost touching his and Blaine looked up at him with a small pout and Kurt groaned inwardly and his resistance caved. He bent down slightly and his lips grazed against the younger boys and then he was in his arms, lips almost melding together, and Kurt's hands trying to keep Blaine as close to his body as possible.
They seemed to kiss forever and for mere seconds all at once, Blaine's arms curled up and around Kurt's head; Kurt's winding around his hips. Kurt stepped closer to Blaine once more, forcing his back against the kitchen counter. He pushed Blaine's knees apart with his legs and set his leg between them. Kurt used his grip around Blaine's waist as leverage and lifted him up onto the counter behind him, his mouth never leaving Blaine's. He positioned himself in between Blaine's open legs, alarm bells going crazy in Kurt's mind, seemingly nonstop but he couldn't stop himself, he wanted to consume Blaine, when Kurt pulled up to allow Blaine, and himself, some air he realised the alarm bells weren't merely metaphorical, there was a phone ringing in the house.
"Blaine, sweetheart, the phone…" Blaine's lust filled eyes were finally able to focus when his brother's voice came through on the answering machine, filling the house.
"Blaine, look at me." Kurt knew this couldn't go any further but he also knew he couldn't bring himself to hurt the boy by telling him how big a mistake this was. He knew he wouldn't be able to just let it go either… But Blaine surprised him by beating him to the punch.
"Kurt… I don't want to be the reason your life is ruined too. You should leave." Blaine paused for a second and tore his eyes away from Kurt's, not willing to let the man see his pain. "Before we end up doing something even more regrettable."
Kurt couldn't bring himself to understand why Blaine would think that his life would be ruined by simply kissing him. He yearned to know what people had been saying to Blaine to make him think he was able to ruin anyone's life. Kurt put two fingers under Blaine's chin and prompted him to lift his head up so he could look into his eyes. "It wouldn't ruin my life, sweetheart, far from it." He kissed Blaine's forehead and called back to him as he walked to the door saying "Lock up, please."
And then he was gone.
Blaine simply stared at the door, entirely uncertain about what had just happened. He came back to himself with a start and set about locking up the house and turning on the alarm. As he drifted upstairs to his bedroom his thoughts were completely filled with Kurt.
Blaine's scent was all over him, the memory of tears mixed with the smell of cinnamon and coffee, almost drowning him in its intensity. Kurt stood, on the sidewalk, outside Blaine's house watching as all the light slowly went out, waiting until only one was left on – which he assumed to be his bedroom – . Kurt leant against his car, deliberately trying to push aside any thought of consequences or fall out away. He didn't want to think of anything that wasn't Blaine. The feel of him, the smell of him, everything about him. He just wanted to be able to pretend for just a little bit longer that what had just occurred wasn't wrong, something that had felt that right couldn't be wrong.
He watched as the light went out and he still found himself standing there, just staring up at the window, his thoughts flying a mile a minute but his mind blank all at once.
