I'm experimenting with following the shows SL, so there are direct quotes from Them and this chapter follows that plot. I'm not sure if I like doing things this way so I may wander off in the future. Please enjoy :-)
Chapter 11
Daryl stood up and slung his bow over his shoulder. So what the hell am I supposed to say? "Asking the wrong man, Daryl." He rubbed his hand over his face Fuckin' useless bastard "Be honest Daryl." He nodded at Beth's advice, shoulda asked her to begin with. Em was standing in front of him shifting nervously. He hadn't seen her act that way towards him since the first night he met her.
"I'm sorry Daryl. I've made a mess of everything. Maybe you're right, I'm not helping, I should step aside and let one of your friends help. I don't blame you for not wanting me around anymore, Carol would probably do better.."
"Naw, I didn't say that." He looked away, he was no good at this. "Didn't say for you not to be around."
"Your friends know you better, I." she threw up her hands, "I don't know."
"So you're ditchin' me? That it?" he automatically went into defense mode. "Things get a little too tough and yer jumpin' ship?" he walked around her angry and hurt. "Easy there, don't wanna spook er." His brother was amused. "Not funny Merle." Beth wasn't amused she was angry. "Easy woman, she ain't goin' no where." At least Merle sounded sure.
"I don't want to jump ship Daryl." Em leaned forward reached out her hands toward him pleadingly. Daryl froze. "I just don't want to be the thing standing in your way. I know your friends miss you." She took a small unsure step toward him, when he didn't move she reached out and gripped his hand in hers.
"You are not under obligation to me. I'll understand if you don't want to continue teaching me, it takes a lot of your time and energy and you have to take care of yourself. I had thought I was helping you but your right I'm not. I'm taking all your time and not giving anything in return" She was staring down at their entwined hands.
Daryl was griping her hand tightly both their fingers white from the pressure. She didn't look up at him, scared that she was about to lose her only friend and companion.
"Yer helpin'," he swallowed, not willing to tell her the real reason the voices were staying. "I ain't the easiest ta get along with. Ain't nothin' gotta change." He let go of her hand. "Come on got work ta do."
Em nodded and followed him, he was wrong, things were different between them, a wall was there, where there wasn't one before.
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Daryl had managed to fix the van, but they still ended up walking, they'd run out of gas. Em thought she'd known starvation before, but she was wrong. They were beaten down, hungry, thirsty and just plain exhausted. Daryl and her hadn't talked much after their conversation in the woods, even when they went off with Sasha and Maggie to look for water. They'd come up short, the entire group had, it hadn't rained in so long. Rick was trying to keep the group together, keep them focused but it was rough going. Daryl offered to go off on in search of food and water again, before Em could offer to go with him Carol was by his side. He glanced at her before walking off into the woods.
She walked with the group feeling defeated and tired. Despite what Daryl had said, she'd lost him. He was as distant to her now as everyone else was.
There was a herd following them, Rick had said they would take care of it when the time was right. Apparently, the time was now. Em stood nervously by as the group made a plan to take care of the walkers. One by one they took their positions, Em searched the tree line for Daryl, her stomach churning when she was disappointed again.
The plan was almost immediately shot to hell when Sasha decided to break ranks. She watched as her tired companions began fighting the dead. As far as she knew, she was the only member of the group to not have killed a walker. She gripped her crowbar, muttering prayers for those in the battle and herself. It was more intense than she could have ever dreamed, the dead seemed to come from all directions at once, she stood protectively in front of Carl and Judith. Her heart leapt to her throat as she saw Rick almost get bit. She shifted to keep the sight from Carl. Daryl finally arrived, just in time to help Rick. She let out a relieved breath. They were done, all the dead had been put down and she allowed herself a smile. She was just about to turn and check on Carl and Judith when a clammy wet hand gripped her shoulder. She jerked away, coming face to face with tall dead man. The group she'd been standing with had already moved forward, eager to check on their loved ones, she was alone with this dead thing.
Her mouth gaped open in an effort to scream, nothing came out, she took a couple of stumbling steps back and lost her footing. The thing pounced on her, she instinctively swung the crowbar, hitting it head. It's skull cracked opened and the body slumped down to the ground next to her. She searched around for more of the dead, her chest heaving. She didn't hear the pounding of footsteps until they were right on her, she turned in terror as a pair of strong hands yanked her up from the ground.
"Did it get ya?! Are you bit?" Daryl was screaming in her face, someone else reached for her and he angrily swatted their hands away. "Are you bit Em?!"
"N..N..No." she stuttered. "No!" she pushed his roaming hands away. "I killed it." Her body started to shake. "I killed him."
Daryl stopped searching her body for wounds. "Ya had to, won't be the last. This is it now Em, I told you, ya gotta get tough." She took a step toward him, needing comfort but stopped as she saw the group behind him. He'd only ever hugged her when they were alone, he might not appreciate her hugging him in front of everyone. She wrapped her arms around herself instead and jerked her head in a half assed nod.
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They were walking again always walking. Daryl glanced at Em, he wouldn't leave her again, her face was blank, but her arms were still wrapped tightly around her middle. "So hug her." Beth sounded exasperated. "I'm with Blondie." Merle agreed. She don't want me to, she pushed me away. "Aw hell brother woman don't know they own mind half tha time." "I can't believe it but I'm agreeing with him….in this case. She was scared Daryl." NO! I ain't forcin' myself on her. Fuck off. His lip twitched angrily.
They settled beneath a tree to rest a bit. He sat next to Em but left a wide gap between them. She stared silently into the fire. The sound of growls brought him to attention, he grasped Beth's knife, the one Carol had given him earlier, ready for battle. The battle never came, Sasha took care of the pack of dogs that had just stepped onto the road before the damn things could even twitch towards them. Rick stood up and began breaking branches in half. "Looks like dogs on the menu brother, Korea should be happy." Merle snickered.
They cooked the meat over the fire, nobody hesitated to eat it, not even Em.
Then they were walking again. Em hadn't said a word to him since she'd gotten attacked. Glenn offered her water, she declined, he offered it to Daryl, he shook his head.
Glenn let his hand fall in frustration, "We can make it together, but we can only make it together." He walked off dejected.
"Tell them I went lookin' for water." He told Abraham. "Come on." He grabbed Em's upper arm, gently leading her into the woods again.
The tension was thick between them. They came up to a barn and Daryl sat himself under a nearby tree, relieved when Em followed his example and sat next to him. He brought out his last few cigarettes, offering Em one, she shook her head, no. He lit one inhaling deeply a few times before putting it out on his hand.
"No!" Em slapped the butt away from his hand, stomping it out with her foot.
"What are you doing?" Her eyes wide with shock.
Daryl didn't answer, he began to cry. "Aw hell ya pussy." Shut up! Merle! "Shut up! Merle!" Beth echoed. He hung his head down letting the tears fall. Em threw her arms around his shoulders.
"Daryl what's happening." She couldn't keep her own tears from falling, she'd been holding back since her attack, for fear of upsetting him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, gripping her to him so tightly she was dragged onto his lap.
"I don't want them to go, Merle and Beth." He mumbled into her neck.
"I hate that I killed something, I don't care that it wanted to eat me." She mumbled back.
"We're fucked up." He wiped his face and nose on her shirt.
"Yeah." She laughed a little at his gross gesture, he was almost like a child sometimes.
Daryl leaned his forehead against her shoulder. It felt good to get it all out, and Em was comforting and easy to talk to as always. "Getting pretty cozy there." A smug voice pointed out. Daryl suddenly became self-aware. This was the closest he'd been to a woman in longer than he could remember. He thought of how Beth had hugged him, how he'd carried her around more than once, but Em was on his lap, his face was pressed up against her, his arms wrapped around her, nearly every inch of them touching. The second after his mind became aware of their closeness, his body did too. He felt himself harden against the back of her thigh and panicked. He shoved her away from him violently and jumped up.
"oooofff" Em landed on her back.
Daryl looked around anxiously "I …uh…I heard something." He tried to cover, pulling out his knife to sell the lie. "Smooth, little brother." Merle didn't bother sounding mad.
Em didn't look like she bought it, giving him a strange look before she began getting up. Daryl moved forward awkwardly to help but she was already standing, brushing off the dirt from her butt and thighs.
"Should we head back?" she asked. He nodded, trying to keep the humiliating bulge hidden from view, with his crossbow.
She stopped short after a few steps and turned around almost causing him to ram right into her.
"Are we good now Daryl? Are we still friends?" he could see the desperation in her eyes, after nearly a year alone, he guessed that even a Dixon was a welcomed companion.
"Yeah." He croaked out. If I don't screw it up.
Em smiled and began walking again. She hadn't felt his erection, she knew he was lying about the noise and she knew he'd been embarrassed and nervous about something, but figured it was the crying. From the little she knew of men, they didn't like to cry. A man like Daryl might think it was a sign of weakness. She'd make sure not to mention it.
