Rating: M

Disclosure: I acknowledge that the NCIS characters within do not belong to me.

Warning: Once again, be aware that the subject matter within is of a dark nature that may cause distress to some readers, in which case I would advise against reading further.

A/N Thank you to everyone for your reviews and the support that you offered. If you reviewed as a guest, my apologies for not being able to thank you individually but know that I really appreciated all the support. In particilar to my Guest reviewer with personal life experience who gave valuable insight and encouragement. I really appreciate your review and your honesty. After this chapter, there will be two further chapters and an eight hundred word epilogue which will conclude this part of the saga. Just wanted to warn you all that while will there will be some resolution, it was never the intention for everything to be resolved at the end of this story. The intention was always to resolve many of the deliberately unresovled questions in what I affectionately call the healing story or Dancing With The Demons.

To the guest reviewer who observed that Gibbs in RFTD was uncharacteristically clueless, I will say that I do not claim to be infallible when it comes to immersing myself in the gunny's psyche or in writing his POV but I can think of many instances when his famous gut or if you like, his intuition has let him down. For example in South by Southwest, when he granted access to a trained assassin who murdered an NCIS agent before then impersonating a Homeland Security agent to gain access to highly sensitive case related information that included the location of the witness, who had given evidence to the slain NCIS agent. The result was that Gibbs, Tony, the Leo and the artist Dana Ricci were all in danger of being killed during an assassination attempt by the hired killer in a helo. There are many other examples too but the point is that they are all plot devices utilised by the writers to tell a story because otherwise, if Gibbs gut was as infallible as people, including himself seem to believe, there would be no need to investigate at all or to have a MCRT. All I can suggest is that FF is supposed to be for entertainment purposes and if you aren't enjoying a story, then don't read it. I can guarantee that you won't enjoy the next chapter and there are plenty of writers that focus on Gibbs-centric stories where he is everything that you stated. At best in the first of the trilogy, his involvement was always periphery to Tony's experience. That will change somewhat as the situation evolves.

To Ibinkybella who beta'ed my punctuation into submission in this chapter as in the past, I owe you my eternal gratitude. All remaining mistakes are my bad.

Running From The Demons

Chapter Nine Contingencies

He was physically and emotionally spent and although Tony was planning on resting, not sleeping, he couldn't stay awake and retreated albeit unwillingly to where the demons lay waiting patiently to ambush him. Darkness suffocated him, pressing on his chest and making it impossible to breathe. His heart was pounding and there was a painful roaring in his ears. The steady breathing kept on coming closer and closer towards him until he could feel the breath against his cheek. A hand began to ruffle his hair tenderly, yet Tony felt the suppressed menace within the monster. The hand was covering his mouth.

Just when he thought he was going to pass out from sheer, unadulterated terror he saw a flash of blue. The next he knew, he was jerked awake in panic to find Sona spooned up behind him, one hand on his butt and her other hand had reached around and was fondling him intimately.

Tony cried out in fear as he drew his long legs up and tried to curl into a ball.

Sona let go of him and reached out to rub him on his back to soothe him. "Your fine Tony, I won't let anyone hurt you, it's just a dream" she crooned to him.

"Look at me, Tony." she coached him as he looked fearfully into her sapphire eyes, and she gently began to stroke his hair, trying to calm him.

The effect of which was that Tony acted as if he was electrified as he bound away from her and began screaming wordlessly. Sona was shocked. Tony's nightmares were getting worse, not better. She needed to get him to start opening up about what was so frightening. He began hyperventilating as the sweat poured off him and she could literally smell his fear.

Finally she managed to calm him with her voice, coaching him to take deep regular breaths but he wouldn't let her touch him. After fifteen minutes of soothing him softly she eventually persuaded him to get into the shower and he let the hot water wash over him, slowly relaxing his corded muscles. When he emerged at last from the bathroom, Tony avoided making eye contact with Sona, discomforted by his meltdown and confused as to what sparked it. He flashed back to the intense blue flare he had seen just before waking up. This was something that was new and he wondered what it meant. Maybe it had been a spark of lightning, perhaps?

He knew that he wasn't getting better and that despite his abhorrence of shrinks, it was probably time to admit that he needed help. Just as soon as he got himself out of here, got Sona the help she needed and made sure that she couldn't hurt Abby, he reminded himself. First things first!

Sona tried to get him to eat breakfast, but his face was still slightly green in hue and he managed only a bite or two of dry toast and a few sips of protein drink before he pushed them away. She handed him a bottle of water and encouraged him to drink because Sona heard him throwing up while he was in the bathroom. Although he probably didn't have any food left in his gut to lose, he had vomited for over five minutes before getting it under control and she knew that he could easily become dehydrated. Tony knew it was important to stay hydrated too because of his plans for tonight, so he slowly sipped the water and flashed a weak smile of thanks.

She responded by coming up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. At her touch, Tony almost fell off the chair before taking a deep breath and trying to leaning back into her embrace. His jaw muscles clenched tightly trying to maintain control as he tried not to shrink from her touch. Somehow today after his nightmare it was almost impossible for him to tolerate being touched by her. Afraid that she might feel rejected and direct her jealousy onto Abby again, he was forcing himself not to show his revulsion. Tony knew that come what may, he had to get out of here tonight, but instead of conserving his energy for the mission, he was expending what little ground he had gained over the last couple of days as he fought to maintain his mask.

RFTDRFTD

Tony sat on the sofa in the living area of the cabin while Sona curled up against him, her head in his lap, while Tony remembered the times he had been in this position with Abby. They sometimes watched movie marathons together as a way to decompress after particularly stressful cases. He wondered what was going on with the team right now.

Were they searching for him? Why the hell had he run away from them when he crashed his car and seriously, what possessed him to get in touch with Sona? He must have been thinking with his dick, not his brain, he decided disgustedly.

Meanwhile, Sona began telling him about growing up with her brother, and Tony found himself listening intently. He had always envied his friends who had grown up with siblings and he tried to imagine what it would have been like to have not been an only child. He drifted off, wondering again, if his mother had had a daughter, might she have found motherhood more fulfilling and resisted the temptation to take her own life.

Sona nudged him gently in his ribs, cognisant that he had very little padding at the moment and asked him about his childhood. He spoke haltingly about his mother, telling her how she was a pianist and how she used to sometimes teach him to play pieces or play for him. He confessed shyly to sneaking into her music room when she was alone and listening to her play (and cry), although he kept that detail to himself. He told her how beautiful she was and that when they sat together at the piano and she hugged him, he felt safe and loved.

When Sona wanted to know about his father, Tony pursed his lips slightly and spoke about the superficial aspects of his father. His obsession with making money and his determination that Anthony Junior should follow in his father's footsteps. He also told her some of his painful memories (the Hawaiian Hotel fiasco and the Halloween dress up debacle) disguised as glib dinner party anecdotes that had always kept his work mates from prying too much into what were his open wounds. Instead of being amused though, like his teammates, she sent him a pitying look.

Crap he thought, he was able to fool trained investigators like Ziva, Kate and McGee but Sona seemed to have a BS meter that saw straight past his subterfuge to the anguish that others didn't. Tony figured that while Sona might be damaged and delusional about them being in a relationship, her own grief and sorrow meant she was able to recognise pain in others too. It probably was what also made her an excellent nurse, he concluded. He felt as if Sona had stripped away his entire amour and left him absolutely exposed, and it added to his feelings of violation. Sona noticed that he had become morose and withdrawn so she changed the subject and began speaking about their baby, unknowingly adding to Tony's anxiety as she prattled on about their rose-coloured future together.

Tony was wretched because as much as he hoped that Sona was indeed delusional and was not carrying his child, he couldn't help but be concerned about how she would deal with the loss of 'their imaginary baby' and how she would cope with him leaving their so-called relationship. She was going to be completely devastated and it was his fault. He couldn't even bear to contemplate what it would mean if she was really pregnant though, so he distracted them both by changing the topic.

"Tell me about your mother and her music, Sona. Was she a musician too?"

"Yes she was. She was also a music teacher, Tony. She taught singing, cello and piano," she answered him with a sad smile. "Mom played in the State Symphony and took us to concerts like other kids got to go to the movies. She was kind of obsessed with all things musical which rubbed off on us both. We had a pair of Siamese cats that she named Allegra and Aria," she confessed as he gave a genuine chuckle. "My dad drew the line at letting her call my brother Wolfgang though. He was named for my Grandpa Jacob."

Tony mused on the coincidence of having mothers with a similar passion for music, which they had passed on to their children. He missed being able to sit down at his piano, especially when he was finding it difficult to sleep at night. He always felt more mellowed after playing his beloved jazz songs.

Sona uncurled herself from around him and suggested that they have an omelette for lunch and busied herself in the kitchen. As he watched her he couldn't help but think about his mother. Some of his best memories of her apart from their music, was when she would actually act like a mom, occasionally cooking for him when he was sick, although it hadn't happened a lot.

Sometimes she would also make warm milk for him when he woke up screaming from his nightmares. While his father was scathing in his condemnation of his effeminate son's weakness, she would gently rock him back to sleep. He stared at Sona, realising suddenly that she had the same sapphire-blue coloured eyes as his mom. He wondered why he had never noticed before, but he tried not to think about his childhood that much.

Talking about her with Sona today must have stirred his memory, he guessed. The more he thought about it, their hair was a similar warm shade of mid brown as well, although his mom's hair was long and wavy and she'd worn it like a soft warm cloud around her head and shoulders. Sona wore hers in a cropped and modern do, with some lighter highlights added.

Tony was quiet and melancholy as he sat down and tried to eat as much as he could of the delicately herbed omelette that Sona had made for them. Although he had no appetite, he knew he needed the protein for his hike tonight. He wished he was in shape to be able to run but he acknowledged that he couldn't even manage a fifty yard dash before collapsing in a heap. So he forced the eggs into his mouth and concentrated on keeping them down.

He lay down on the sofa after they ate and power napped. Whenever he was in dangerous undercover situations where it wasn't safe to sleep and there was no one to watch his six, he had developed a habit of dozing lightly for five minutes at a stretch so that he never entered the deepest stages of sleep. It meant that he could wake instantly and be ready to respond to any threat to himself. It was also handy when he worked with Gibbs and he made them work for days on end with little sleep. The point of the naps here being that he was never asleep deeply enough for the dream to hijack him. He needed as much rest as he could get, to find help tonight.

When Sona cleaned up after lunch, she joined him to lay half on top of him on the sofa as she snuggled with him. Although he found her closeness even more difficult to tolerate than before, Tony was grateful that she was content to nap alongside him rather than wanting to do anything more intimate. He mentally considered what he needed to do tonight and sighed silently as he contemplated the likelihood of having to couple with Sona again tonight. He hated what he was doing to her but he also hated what it was doing to him. He was feeling violated and yet also like a violator.

He did need to stay focused because by this time tomorrow if he was successful, Sona would have the help that she needed to overcome her delusions. Hopefully she would be given assistance to deal with her unresolved grief over the death of her fiancé Matt and their unborn baby, and to face her delusions and heal. He could also ensure that Abby was safe because at the moment she had no idea that Sona had developed a pathological jealousy that may place her in danger. And Tony could try and repair the damage that he had done by rejecting his teammates and running away from them when he was in trouble. Could any of them forgive him for the mess he'd made since he crashed his car?

Sona had prepared a simple pasta dish with some poached chicken and mushrooms and Tony blessed anti-nausea meds as he tried carbo loading in preparation for his escape attempt later on. Although he only managed to eat about half of his portion, he was still pleased with his efforts. Now, all he had to do was manage to keep it down. Sona poured them both a glass of red wine, but Tony knew that he wasn't in any shape to drink alcohol so he made a show of sipping it slowly, letting it moisten his lips but it didn't make it past them. When he got the chance, he deliberately knocked over the glass, spilling the contents. If he was right and she giving him drugs other than the metaclopramide for nausea, he really didn't want to risk drinking, too.

RFTDRFTD

Meanwhile back at NCIS headquarters

The rest of Team Gibbs was busy wrapping up the paperwork on the successful completion of their latest case when Jethro remembered his intention of personally interrogating the three medical personnel at Bethesda about Tony's behaviour during his hand surgery. Telling his team he would be back later and expected their reports to be completed on his return, he headed out, hoping to find some clue that might point him in the right direction. His gut was doing that peculiar stirring thingy that he had learnt to ignore at his peril.

He found Dr. Stuart finishing up her evening rounds before heading home. She graciously allowed herself to be subject to the dubious charms of a Gibbs interview, aware that he was treating her as a suspect. Of what, she wasn't sure, and the tall, fifty-something surgeon regarded him somewhat amusedly but was also a little annoyed before interrupting his questions.

"Am I to infer that I am now a suspect, Agent Gibbs? What does Agent DiNozzo's surgery have to do with his disappearance more than seven weeks later?" she demanded imperiously.

Gibbs was reminded that as a top notch surgeon, she was not likely to be easily intimidated. She probably was as skilled in playing mind games with her people as Gibbs was.

He smiled slightly before offering, "he was acting odd ever since his injury and we are wondering if something happened while he was here that is connected to his kidnapping. None of the other leads have panned out. I know it seems like a long shot but my gut tells me we're missing something here."

She stared at his icy blue eyes and felt their magnetic pull, but also his desperate need to find his agent. She recalled the very unconventional forensic scientist that was with Anthony that night so many weeks ago now and wondered what it was about him that engendered such loyalty in his workmates. Both colleagues seemed to be more than friends that worked together. Kristina Stuart nodded, acknowledging the concept of Gibbs gut. She also relied on her intuition as a doctor, although she felt that gut instincts could in part be explained by skill and experience. The doctor sighed and answered his questions as fully as she could, hoping that they found her patient but fearing after almost two months missing, it was unlikely.

Gibbs' gut told him that Kristina was not the cause of Abby's hinky feelings. He tried to speak to the nurse Sonata Gordon but she wasn't on duty. He arranged to meet with her supervisor in thirty minutes so he set off in search of DiNozzo's respiratory specialist and friend. Dr Pitt was eager to know if there was anything new regarding Tony's disappearance. He agreed that Tony had been behaving strangely at the hospital and that he looked terrible in the morning after the surgery. Something definitely had disturbed his friend, although he gave no clue as to what it was.

Gibbs tactfully tried to grill him about Kristina Stuart and Sonata Gordon. At least it was his intention to be tactful but Gibbs was, in reality, as tactful as a cold sore. Brad gazed at him quizzically then asked carefully.

"Do you really think they might be responsible?" Gibbs shrugged and Brad pursed his lips. "I don't know much about Nurse Gordon apart from the fact she is rather pretty and she lost her fiancé in a hit and run accident. Kristina is a respected colleague and I've know her for years."

"Okay, thanks Brad. You didn't see DiNozzo after he went home did you?"

"We were planning on getting together to watch some games but my schedule, and then his, got in the way. Sorry Gibbs" he finished regretfully. He was worried about his friend too.

Gibbs headed back up to the nurses' station to speak with Sonata Gordon's nursing supervisor Martha Williams to find out when Nurse Gordon would be back on duty again. Gibbs also wanted to find out more about Gordon as he tended to trust Abby's hinky detector. Williams was a statuesque five foot ten African American, her hair in elaborate cornrow braids, with dark expressive eyes. Those same eyes were currently employed in checking him out, with an almost predatory air before handing him an extremely strong cup of black coffee. He sniffed it appreciatively and she smirked at him. No doubt his reputation had preceded him, he thought, amused.

"Thanks for your time Ms. Williams. Is Nurse Gordon going to be on duty tonight?"

Martha looked momentarily surprised but quickly schooled her expression into one of impassiveness. "I'm afraid not, Agent Gibbs. Sonata is presently on a leave of absence and I'm not sure exactly when she'll be back at this stage. She had some personal issues to attend to."

Gibbs gut began to stir even harder. "Is that so? When did she go on leave Ms Williams?" he asked.

"Please, call me Martha," she smiled coquettishly at him. Is she flirting with me, Gibbs wondered? She consulted her computer and gave him the date of Gordon's leave, which was a several days after Tony went missing. "She also came in to work for one shift after she began her leave. It was a swapped shift with one of the other nurses."

Gibbs gut was so active it was already half way back to the office. Yes! This was the break they were looking for, he was certain. Nevertheless, he wanted to gather information about the suspect.

"What can you tell me about Sonata Gordon?" Gibbs let her have it with his baby blues. She wasn't the only one who could flirt.

"Umm, she lost her fiancé in a tragic accident last year and has had a hard time getting over it. She has no family that I am aware of and she's fairly quiet. Sonata is a very capable nurse and her patients love her. Actually most of the males that work here are all in love with her but she doesn't date. I guess that might partly explain her attractiveness to the opposite sex – the whole unobtainable thing. That and she's a very attractive woman."

By now warning bells were going off loud and clear in Gibbs head.

Martha cocked her head. "Can I ask what this is all about?"

"One of my Agents has gone missing and I'm trying to work out what happened to him. He was admitted to this floor following emergency hand surgery and Sonata Gordon was his nurse. Something happened while he was here and I believe it might have something to do with why he is missing. I was hoping to speak to Gordon." It was a wordy explanation for the functional mute but he was going with his ... ahem ... gut and perhaps another part of his anatomy.

Martha had been listening carefully and recognition had begun to dawn on her face. "What is your agent's name, Special Agent Gibbs?"

"My name's Jethro, Martha and my agent's name is Anthony DiNozzo," slowly spelling it out for her.

She typed away at her keyboard again and pulled up his patient record. "Oh my," she exclaimed. "It's rather thick, isn't it? Hang on, I think I recall something."

Gibbs waited, resisting the urge to throw her out of the chair so he could read the damn file himself. "Yes, here it is. I remember now. Sonata came to me concerned about Anthony. It seems that he became extremely distressed, following a recurrent nightmare. It says here in her notes that it occurred on at least three occasions that she witnessed. He seemed to be having severe panic attacks and she was very concerned about him."

Gibbs nodded; Abby's deduction about nightmares was confirmed but panic attacks sounded pretty heavy. He wondered what could be so bad that it would cause DiNozzo to have panic attacks. Knowing how much he liked to be in control, he could see why Tony wouldn't want anyone to know about it. It explained why he had felt beholding to the nurse but also why he didn't want to get too close her. He was probably pretty embarrassed.

Yet Gordon's absence, almost mirroring Tony's own, was way too much of a coincidence for the team leader, who didn't believe in co-incidences to begin with. She was connected somehow. He'd stake his gut on it. He decided he had to get back to the Navy Yard to update the team. They had a lead, now they needed to work it for all it was worth!

Gibbs stood up, smiling at Martha Williams appreciatively. "Thanks for your time," he told the nursing supervisor.

"Anytime Jethro, I hope it helps some. Give me a call and I'll buy you a coffee," she grinned slyly. Oh yeah, she is so flirting with me, he smirked as he left.

"I'll take you up on that offer," he promised over his shoulder, because he couldn't say no to a beautiful woman who knew how to make a real cup of coffee, even if she wasn't a red-head. As he made his way back to his car he wondered idly what she would look like if she dyed her locks auburn.