Logan made a point of avoiding Sheppard for the rest of the day. It wasn't easy, but she managed. By the time evening rolled around, she found herself inextricably drawn to Caldwell's quarters. Promising herself she was just going to check on him and that was ALL, she knocked on the door before she could talk herself out of it.

A rush of heat shot through her when Caldwell opened the door and stood in the entry way. She could feel her cheeks color, but managed to look him in the eye. "Hi," she stammered.

"Logan..."

"Just came to check up on my favorite patient." she managed to say the words without stuttering.

He flashed her a grin that sent another searing burst of heat right through her. "Come on in. I was actually going to come and find you in a little while."

"Oh," was all she could manage.

On the bed was his half-packed duffle bag.

"Steve...What...?"

"I'm being ordered back to Earth."

Panic gripped her. Surely John hadn't said anything. "Why?"

Caldwell shrugged and continued his one-handed packing. "For starters, they know I was injured and that I'll be out of commission for a little while. They think I can heal just as well back home as I can here. There's also an excellent possibility that I might be reassigned to the Prometheus."

His tone was matter of fact, but she could see that the prospect pained him.

"But we need you here. Not some stuffed shrub who has no concept of what we're doing or how important it is, or..."

He reached out and placed a hand over her lips. "This has nothing to do with you and I, Logan."

"Are you sure?" she blinked up at him.

He nodded and forced himself to resist the urge to stroke her silken hair.

"You don't want to go, though...Do you?" her eyes were round and sad.

"No, not really."

"If they do reassign you..."

"I wouldn't be your commanding officer any more," he cut her off. "And you won't have to walk that thin line between duty and other things. All things being equal though, if they're going to give me command of a ship, I'd rather have the Daedalus back..."

She looked up into his eyes. "I'd still want you to stay, personal feelings aside. Everybody here trusts you and looks up to you."

"Would they still, if they knew how close you and I have come to..." he left that thought unspoken and returned to his packing.

"Do you think they're really going to do it? Reassign you, I mean?" she asked.

"I'd say it's almost definite," he blew out a heavy sigh.

"When are you leaving?"

"0800 tomorrow morning," he replied.

Before either of them could say or do anything more, they were interrupted by a radio call, beckoning Caldwell to the infirmary. He flashed her a mournful glance, shrugged and let out a deep sigh. "Probably best to say our goodbyes now, Logan."

"Please don't say goodbye," she pleaded. "Not goodbye. Not ever."

He leaned in, cupping her face in one hand and kissed her tenderly, fighting against the urge to deepen the kiss, or take things where they definitely ought not to go. "Until we meet again, then," he whispered, then turned and walked out without looking back.

When the door closed behind him, Logan summoned all her strength and tried to clamp down on her churning emotions. From a purely professional standpoint, she knew that separating herself from him, or rather vice-versa, was the right thing to do. Professional ethics notwithstanding, she'd been here before - with Daniel. At some point, Caldwell would begin to freak out about all the danger she'd be facing *out there* and it would begin to erode the relationship. Yes, she and Daniel had managed to build a new relationship. One of mutual respect, friendship, and genuine affection. Who knew if she and Caldwell could manage the same feat, should they become romantically entangled?

After leaving Caldwell's quarters, she wandered aimlessly through the unused halls and corridors of Atlantis. She wasn't ready to go back to her own quarters. More like she wasn't ready to face Sheppard. It didn't matter that he'd been right - essentially - about how dangerous it would be for her to even consider trying to have a relationship with Caldwell. He WAS her superior officer, after all. Friendship aside, she respected the man immensely and didn't want to place him in any position where his career might suffer. Sexy as he was, she had no right to risk his career.

Not that she was ready to admit any of that to Sheppard. Cheese and crackers, the man could be so infuriating. Especially when he started acting like her father! She hadn't forgotten the conversation she'd overheard between them back when they'd been in the ninth grade. Sheppard had come home with a split lip that day. No more than a mere scratch compared to what he'd done to the other guy. Over what? The stupid boy had been mouthing off about what he'd done to and with Logan the night before, and how he looked forward to more of the same on their next date.

That alone would have been bad enough, but it was all a lie. All of it. Logan had never gone out with that creep, nor had any desire to. She'd never so much as been alone with him, even at school. He'd been trying to bolster his rep as a ladies man and, since Logan had really begun to come into her own, she'd been an object of competition among some of the boys in their grade. They saw her as nothing more than a piece of tail - a trophy. But he'd bragged in front of the wrong person that day. Sheppard had heard everything, and he'd called him on it - in front of all the other boys. Even if he didn't know Logan as well as he did, he knew the boy was lying through his teeth. That he couldn't have been with Logan the night before, or any night for at least the previous two weeks. Why? Because she had been with Sheppard and his parents for the past two weeks, because her own parents were out of town at a conference and had only just returned the night before!

Sheppard had demanded that he tell the truth and then stay far away from Logan, but the boy, intent on salvaging his supposed manhood, had only dug in his heels deeper, spouted more lies and then took a swing at Sheppard for trying to impugn his rep. He got one shot, and then it was all Sheppard. He'd thrashed him soundly, but hadn't done any permanent damage. Both boys received a one-week suspension from school and, since his own parents weren't home yet, Logan's father had been the one to retrieve him from the Principal's office.

While he'd done his duty, and sternly reminded him that fighting had no place in school, or in polite society, he also expressed to the boy that he'd been extremely proud. Proud and grateful to have him looking out for his daughter. He was not blind to the beauty his daughter was becoming with each passing day. And, having been a teenage boy once himself, he knew the effect she would have on them - as well as other girls who would envy her looks and the attention it would garner. Young Sheppard had been her protector virtually from the cradle, and he was grateful for that. He did not have a son of his own, but if he had, he would wish for a boy just like Johnny Sheppard.

She'd fallen asleep at some point, late into the night, and it wasn't until a ray of sunlight streaming through the rafters finally jolted her awake. She checked her watch and was relieved to find that it was only 0750. She had time to make it to the control room to see Caldwell off. If only from the sidelines. She bolted up and shaking off the weariness and stiffness of sleeping in an awkward place and position, she hurried off down the ramp and to the hallway where the nearest transporter was located. When she arrived, she could see that everyone else was already there. She heard all the well-wishes and promises to stay in touch, as well as Caldwell's admonition for all of them to look after each other.

He left final instructions and made it clear that Sheppard was, once again, the ranking military officer in Atlantis and Devane was second in command. She could feel Sheppard's eyes boring into her, but she would not look at him. She held her breath as McKay dialed the gate and trembled only slightly. Caldwell dared to hazard one last look at her before stepping through the event horizon. Logan bit back the tears that threatened to come and chatted briefly with Teyla while everyone split up and went back to their duties, then excused herself when she caught a glimpse of Sheppard heading her way. She wasn't ready to talk to him, so she found herself heading off to anywhere she thought she normally wouldn't be found by him. Again.

But find her he did. An hour later, he found her sitting in the rafter space above the gym, which was where she'd spent the previous night. She was rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face. All the anger that had been building up over the past two days instantly evaporated at the sight of her. He bent down, scooped her up and cradled her in his arms, taking up a gentle rocking motion of his own. Her quiet sobs tore at his heart, but he said nothing, knowing that she didn't need words, she just needed HIM.

He knew that Caldwell's sudden departure would have affected her anyway, even if she hadn't developed *feelings* for the man. Given her recent revelation, however, he was sure that his leaving had hit her doubly hard. He mentally kicked himself for the way he'd spoken to her, knowing that much of what he had to say had been motivated by his own tendency to overprotect her. Not that everything he'd said was wrong. Getting involved with Caldwell would have been a recipe for disaster, not to mention career suicide.

He could feel her sobs finally begin to subside, but still he said nothing until she spoke.

"I'm sorry, John," she croaked.

"I'm sorry, too, Sparky." he murmured, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I shouldn't have walked out on you like that... Or tried to hide from you afterwards."

"No, you shouldn't," he agreed. "But I shouldn't have driven you to that point either. Oh, and... don't you already KNOW that there is no place, in any universe, where you can hide from me?"

Logan managed a weak grin and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm a real mess, aren't I?"

"A bit," he agreed. "But not so bad that we can't fix it."

"I suppose you're relieved that he's gone." It was more statement than question.

"In a sense, yes, I am. But not just for the reason you think. I liked the guy, I respected him..." he trailed off thoughtfully.

"He's not dead, John!" she cut him off.

"I know, I know. Aside from the fact that any feelings he may have for you could only complicate your life, I liked having him here. He was fair, he..."

"Usually saw things the same way you do, and pretty much let you do things the way you wanted to and was there to take the heat if something went wrong?" she finished for him.

"Exactly!" he grinned. "Seriously, Sparks... I hate that you're hurting over this. It's just one of the reasons I didn't think you should get involved with him in the first place. I suppose it's all moot now, though."

She nodded. "Pretty much."

"You do know I had nothing to do with his getting reassigned, don't you?"

She pulled back to look him in the eye. "Yes, of course. I know you'd never do anything like that, even as mad as you were..."

"I was more worried than angry."

"I know."

"Can we not do this anymore?" he asked.

"What? Fight?"

"Fight like that. We've done our fair share of disagreeing over the years, but nothing like that..." he shuddered.

"It was pretty scary," she nodded.

"So let's not do it again, okay? No matter how angry we get, nobody walks out," he said.

"Agreed. Nobody walks out." She wrapped her arms around his neck again and held on for dear life.

"I love you, Johnny. I'm so sorry I put you through that."

"I love you, too, Logan. And I'll try not to act so much like your father in the future," he promised. "In the distant future, probably... when you're old and gray and men aren't chasing you around the city, trying to..."

"John Sheppard!" she squawked indignantly, before bursting out with laughter. "You should talk, Captain Kirk!"

Four weeks passed and still there had been no word from Earth about any possible replacement for Caldwell. Sheppard wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. If they decided to send another person, like Colonel Everett, he KNEW he wouldn't be a happy camper. For that matter, neither would anyone else. At least Caldwell "got" it. They might not be that lucky again. If they chose not to send a replacement, that meant Sheppard would remain the ranking military officer. There were pros and cons to that, too.

Probably the only good thing about Caldwell being gone was that Logan seemed to be okay again. The conflict that had been tearing her apart was gone. She, like Sheppard, missed Caldwell's presence as a leader, though he knew it went a little deeper than that. She'd admitted, that evening up in the rafters that she didn't think she was in love with him, but she did feel *something.* He found himself cringing at the thought, but maybe she just needed to get laid. Logan was not the type who indulged in casual sex, just for the sake of having sex, so she would have chosen someone she trusted enough to open herself up with. Caldwell did fit that bill. Their friendship went back to her first day at the SGC.

Sheppard envied Caldwell's close association with her during that time. He'd been able to share her experiences of off-world missions, whereas she'd been forbidden to share it with him. He wasn't jealous of Caldwell, by any means. But that had been a difficult time for he and Logan. The first time they hadn't been assigned to the same duty station, or lived in the same town in their whole life. Every time one of them could take leave for a visit, he could see the excitement in her eyes. She WANTED desperately to tell him what it was that had her so thrilled about her job at Cheyenne Mountain in the middle of no where-ville. He'd (apparently) foolishly resisted her suggestions that he somehow find a way to get transferred there, and her offers of trying to pave the way for him. He was happiest when he was flying, and he didn't feel there was a great need for pilots at Cheyenne Mountain.

It was just as he was finally entertaining the idea of a transfer that he'd broken the rules to save those servicemen in Afghanistan, and wound up freezing his six off at McMurdo. Logan never gave up on him, though. She'd lobbied hard, with General O'Neill, to get him re-assed to the SGC. That lobbying had been the reason that Sheppard, and not another pilot, had been the one flying O'Neill to the outpost in Antarctica, and led to him being included in the Atlantis expedition.

He'd never forget the look on Logan's face when she was finally able to tell him everything she'd been doing over the years they'd been at separate commands. When they learned that he possessed the Ancient gene, she'd been over the moon with happiness that he would have the chance to go to Atlantis. He'd been understandably shaken by all the revelations, and appeared hesitant to go along. It was only at Logan's insistence, and assurance, that she would go too, that he finally leaned toward joining the expedition.

But then there was that one last fateful mission she'd been sent on, to Afghanistan. To retrieve some stupid artifact! When he learned that she was gone, he couldn't get far enough away from Earth. Caldwell had been at her memorial service. He remembered that when he first blew into the Pegasus galaxy and literally fished his six out of the fire. If Caldwell hadn't appeared when he did, Sheppard would be dead, and he would have never been reunited with Logan.

Yeah... he owed Caldwell a lot.