"Quinn, do calm down. I feel that getting stressed will not help this situation or yourself. Do you want me to try and converse with Santana or Brittany; maybe?" Rachel's figure stopped Quinn from pacing the girls' bathroom anymore; Quinn released her breath, finally free from hiding from the rest of glee who was pestering her about Santana and Brittany storming out of the performance; she was so close to screaming at them; but luckily Rachel pulled her into the bathroom; and pulled the rubbish bin over the handle; locking them in.
"No, Rachel. I want you to stay away from this situation. Santana is going to stab me; and Britt… I've never seen her look so… disappointed. I just… They are my best friends; and I lied to them. "
"They will obviously understand, Quinn. I mean they went through some sexuality changes themselves. Don't beat yourself up about this."
"They're my best friends, Rachel. Maybe you don't understand since you've never had friends but you don't lie to them, you don't insult them, you don't brainwash them about a love which I'm complete jealous about; you don't force them to hide it from you. You don't do that. You're supposed to let them trust you. I should have helped." Quinn was now pacing again; Rachel was completely focused on Quinn, "I forced them to go through it alone; I knew how terrified San was to admit she was in love with Britt. You know what I said?"
"No… What did you say?"
"I laughed in her face; she was crying; and I laughed. Do you realise how fucking selfish that is? I laughed at one of my best friends; one of my only friends; when she was actually being herself for once. You know that girl you've been seeing since freshman year. That is not Santana. The real Santana is amazing; she's so caring, so loving, she's honest and truthful… I beat her up. I abused her truth. I fucked with her when she was at her lowest. Before New York; Santana was convinced by me that Britt was taking Artie back… I just wanted…. I wanted someone to want me; like Finn wants you; Tina and Mike… The only person I could imagine was Santana."
Rachel jaw dropped; she was completely surprised at how manipulative Quinn could be; Quinn leaned against the sinks; her tears freely running, she roughly wiped them away.
"I needed her. She knows me, I know her. I knew I could be happy with her… She is a dedicated person when she needs to be. I tricked her, into being with me. You know we had sex… I felt so loved during… and she called Brittany's name. Do you know how that made me feel? I actually wanted to… God, I don't know what I wanted to do. I made her think that she was in the wrong; that she could never love me if Britt was in the picture. She felt so guilty for saying Brittany's name. After I practically forced her into the situation. I hid the truth; and I used her to my own sick pleasure."
"Quinn, how could you?" Rachel's voice snapped Quinn attention to her; brown eyes meeting brown eyes; Rachel could see the need for forgiveness in Quinn's eyes; "I just wanna know how you could do that. Do you realise what you were trying to do?"
"I wanted someone to love me. Is that so wrong? I've never been loved. Puck wanted sex, Finn wanted you, even Sam wanted someone else. No one has ever wanted me. Let's be clear Britt did turn Santana down. I wanted to help; I know from experience how rejection can be."
"What you did wasn't… going to help. Regardless of your intentions, Brittany had Artie; she had a boyfriend… and not to mention; she probably didn't want to hurt Santana. But in those situations; someone is always going to hurt."
"So rather it is Santana than Artie? She's probably used to it right? Since she's so tough on the outside, she'll get over it."
"I never said that. I didn't suggest that Brittany should hurt anyone; but Santana did get hurt by Brittany… whether the intention was there or not. Anyway, this is not about that; it's about you. Using Santana and Brittany's relationship; and friendship as a crutch to save your own pathetic self from admitting the reason you can't find this love you so desperately want is you. You're stopping yourself, Quinn. I hate to be mean but you know it's true. You cheated on Finn, he moved on. You dismissed Puck, he moved on. You cheated on Sam… and he moved on. You need to sort yourself out, Quinn. I really think you need to find Santana and Brittany."
Quinn shook her head
"Stay out of it, please! I told you, because I thought you were going to help. You tell me exactly what I didn't want to hear. I know I'm the reason why I can't keep someone; why no one will love me; I'm so messed up… I've lost my only friends for what? Nothing… Because at the end of the day, whatever happened meant nothing to her… or me."
Quinn moved the rubbish bin out of her way; and stormed out, slamming the door after her, she made her way down the corridor, not noticing Mr Schue's curious gaze.
Santana and Brittany were currently in the choir room; Santana was stroking Brittany's arm lovingly; as Brittany rested her head on her shoulder.
"I meant what I said."
"I know, B."
"You won't be mad."
"No… I will be. I'll listen to you though."
Brittany smiled; and Santana noticed that smiled meant she was totally whipped; pecking Brittany's neck lightly; Brittany nuzzled closer to Santana; then they pulled away when they heard a loud cough, meeting the presence of Quinn. There was a period of awkward silence, Santana glaring at Quinn in her typical pissed off way; Brittany was facing the floor, ignoring Quinn whilst squeezing Santana's hand lightly to calm her down; Quinn was pleading with both of them, trying to convey how sorry she was; but neither was going to speak first; their pride too much to overcome.
"Why, Quinn? Why have you been lying to us? We're supposed to be your friends, why?"
"I made a mistake okay. I didn't know until recently… I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would be… disappointed in me. I made you guys out to feel ashamed, and I'm sorry."
Santana scoffed loudly; shaking her head in disapproval; Quinn snapped her attention to Santana, whilst Brittany leaned in.
"Calm down… I don't want you to get upset." Brittany's voice a mere whisper to try and make Santana retain her anger at Quinn; Santana squeezed Brittany's hand, a subtle message that she would try to control her temper.
"Fuck you, Quinn. Seriously screw your stupid apologises. I am… so disappointed in you. I hope you realise that this is over."
Santana stood up; and went to walk out
"What's over?" Quinn's voice stopping her from storming out completely; she whipped round
"Our friendship! You knew what I needed from you… You played straight into my insecurities. The worst part is... Britt has no idea how cruel you really are, she's so good, you really don't deserve her..."
Santana snarled and clicked her tongue, spinning on her heels; she walked out quickly; leaving Quinn standing in front of Brittany, who was eyeing Quinn up curiously.
"What did San mean?"
"Nothing…-" Quinn answered too quickly; too defensively, firing Brittany's curiosity
"I'm not dumb. You've lied to me once. You've lost San… Do you really wanna lose me too?" Brittany's expression was different to anything Quinn had ever saw; she shook her head quickly
"You'll hate me."
"You lied to me; and you made San think I would choose Artie over her. That is just plain wrong… and yet I'm still here, being your friend. Either you tell me what San meant or I will do the exact same. I will forget about you; as a friend."
Quinn nodded, and moved over to the seat next to Brittany; releasing a deep breath, her nerves taking its toll on her appearance. She turned to meet Brittany's concerned gaze; nodding for her to start her explanation; she sighed deeply.
"I want you to know; I regret what I did; and it meant nothing. Okay? You just have to believe me, Britt. I mean it, okay?"
"Okay, just tell me okay?"
Quinn nodded
"I… It started after San told you how she felt. I wanted to help; so I told her you wouldn't be finishing Artie anytime… God why is it so hard to tell you?"
Brittany turned and leaned forward, squeezing her hand; Quinn met her eyes; Brittany smiled
"I won't be mad, seriously. I just want to be told the truth."
Quinn nodded
"I slept with Santana; we did it since New York… for a two weeks. It meant nothing. I swear I just… I wanted someone to care and she did. She cared; and I felt… wanted. I mean she was so broken after I convinced her you weren't going to be with her anytime soon."
Brittany shook her head
"I wanted to be with her. I told her I would be with her; if I was single. I wasn't… I had Artie to think about; and regardless of what you or San thought. I did love him; yes, he made out San was a bad person; but I knew the truth… they are both good people. As for you and San; I knew you slept together."
"What? How?"
"San told me… When we were making up over the summer. She told me everything…. She just didn't tell me you made up all that horrible stuff about Artie. I'm disappointed you did that Quinn, but I can get over it."
"You mean that?"
"I'm in love with Santana… And this was more hurtful for her than me; so yes; I will get over it. I think you need to sort yourself out; give her some space… and then try and talk to her."
Quinn nodded
"I have to go find her. She's fragile… and this is terrible for her."
"Thank you, for understanding." Quinn smiled sadly, her eyes clearly showing her pain for hurting her two best friends possibly for good, Brittany leaned over and hugged her lightly; smiling brightly; before waving and making her way out to try and find Santana before she made her way home; leaving Quinn alone; Brittany passed Mr Schue on her way out; he smiled, and closed the door behind him.
"Quinn, can we have a word?" Mr Schue dropping some sheets onto the piano for that afternoon glee practice; Quinn rolled her eyes, and she picked up her bag, making her way to the door, Mr Schue followed her figure retreating away, "Quinn!"
"What?" Quinn spun round to face him; her eyes cloudy with unshed tears; she just need to see Santana, to talk to her, to make sure they were still friends. She wasn't in the mood for Mr Schue's games or pep talks; she needed to get out of there.
"I asked if we could talk. I know things are a little… tensed between you and Santana; I'm here to help you through this, both of you."
"Like you were there when I gave up my baby; you helped me with that, really? Or maybe when I lost everyone, were you helping me through it then? Or maybe when Shelby came back; and refused to let me have my child back! Did you help me then?"
Mr Schue shook his head, and took a cautious step forward, as Quinn roughly wiped her eyes, hating how vulnerable she was.
"Don't! Just leave me alone…. Just worry about your favourites, you know!"
"I don't have favourites, Quinn. We're a family…-"
"Do you really expect anyone to believe that? You knew I was having trouble; I did so much crap, and you never helped. Finn cries and you're right there. Whatever, Santana was right… This isn't a family."
Quinn ripped the door open; and walked out; breaking into a soft jog, as inquisitive eyes stared as their ex HBIC was crying; Quinn ran down the corridor, to the one place which was a safe haven for her; pushing the door open, she stumbled in, tripping up over her limp feet, she fell to the ground, and began sobbing uncontrollably.
Author's note:- I know this chapter is a little heavy on Quinn. I don't really know why. I just feel more strongly towards Quinn and Santana; as a friendship (Not Romantically) so this chapter was basically pure Quinn… getting a sense of how she is in regards to Santana; and Brittany…. I will continue with The Quinntana friendship as a side; and whether it will be repaired or not… we shall have to wait and see.
All reviews are welcomed, as are suggestions for what you want to happen.
Thanks
