A/N: okay guys this is the last chapter i'm posting on this site. For those of you who are interested in it and want to continue reading it and read my other fics you can do so here /users/elimak/works also here Member/233185/ and even here My/Stories/. now i'm probably going to delete this account or at least my stories from here a few weeks from now. this has nothing to do with people reporting me or whatnot, this website just isn't that comfortable to use and tbh only a few people here are interested in my stories. anyways there are a whole bunch of other reason which i don't think you're intersted to know so yeah. i'm gonna cut it short. enjoy the story

The next day Gerard woke up in good spirits. He slept perfectly, everything was going great with his comic, his boss was very pleased with Gerard's work, maybe he'll get a bonus or something like that, things with Frank were also going as smoothly as they could go in his situation, his false identity was still safe. (At least he thought so…)If he didn't live in a basement room and had proper sized windows he guessed the sun would be shinning and the birds would be chirping and gliding through the sky as happily and freely as Gerard felt.

He rolled out of bed, stretched pleasantly and looked at his alarm clock to check the time and date. Ever since he started forgetting holidays Gerard started to check the date every day to make sure he was on the right track with the rest of the world. It was surprisingly easy to lose touch with reality for Gerard.

It was 9.34am, Thursday, the 22nd of September. Gerard racked his brain quickly trying to remember if this date was any important. Besides the fact that tomorrow was Mikey's gig there were no birthdays or major celebrations coming up for him and his family. Though, he couldn't shake the feeling that this date was important to him somehow and then it hit him. Quite literally. Gerard's stomach twisted unpleasantly and his good mood vanished as quickly as the memory of a dreams leaves when waking up. Suddenly Gerard didn't feel like going out or meeting with Frank, no matter how much he liked him. All he wanted was to go back to sleep and for this day to be over already so that the tiny reminder in his head that today is exactly one month since Elena died would shut up.

However, he knew he couldn't just abandon his work, especially when it was going so smoothly. He would just have to suck it up and deal with it. Gerard said to himself in a full confident voice inside his head though his body refused to move from the bed and his face was still frozen in the same numb expression.

Gerard somehow got to the bookshop nonetheless. He was a bit of a mess, but at least he could concentrate enough to work and that was all that mattered. Gerard didn't lie when he told Frank that he couldn't get as inspired while working from home anymore. Something terrible did happen, but he didn't mean the fact when Frank sort of left him. He got the call about Elena as he was working and now he couldn't fully get immersed in his work without that memory replaying itself in his head like a broken record.

The same brunette was working behind the bar but today she wasn't trying to hit on Gerard anymore. Actually, she was kind of cold towards him and her greeting and answers were short and curt. If Gerard wasn't so involved in his own problems with dead relatives, maybe he would give a shit about that. Instead, he just got his coffee and started working as fast and as concentrated as he could.

This was actually the time when Gerard would be glad if Frank came in, saw him working and didn't bother him until he was just about to leave just like yesterday. Though, it didn't look like Gerard's wish would come true. He spotted Frank out of the corner of his eye entering the bookshop and he was already walking in his direction with that usual smile on his face. Gerard sighed and started to close down the programs one by one. He was at least going to make an effort to have a good time with him.

Frank looked brighter and more cheery than usual, which, again, made Gerard just a bit annoyed.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Frank greeted him while taking his seat opposite of Gerard.

"It's good good." He answered with a half-hearted smile "What about you? How's your dog?" he added remembering yesterday's crisis.

"He's fine, it wasn't even anything serious. I just had to buy some special medical dog food from the vet and he says he'll be alright." He explained looking relieved. "How about your little admirer?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows comically.

"Oh, her?" Gerard asked turning his head towards the cashier "If she did like me before she doesn't anymore. She stopped trying to get my attention." He said with a shrug. His eyes were lazily fixed on his cup of coffee, he suddenly felt so tired.

"That's good. She looked like bad news anyway and like so not right for you." Frank rolled his eyes to make his point "and that reminds me" Frank suddenly raised his eyebrows a bit and leaned forward like he did when he was excited or interested "have you talked to Gerard yet?"

This seemed to have woken him up a bit. Gerard straightened up in his seat and tried to remember how he planned to answer

"Yeah I did." He said simply

"And? C'mon Mikey don't make me beg." Frank was practically jumping in his seat with curiosity

"He was pretty excited about the whole idea too. I told him you'd be there at the gig and he said he'll find you there himself." Gerard explained as casually as he could. Frank was positively beaming

"Awesome. I think it's high time I met with Gerard already, I can't wait." Frank said looking him directly in his eyes with the same mysterious smile playing on his lips, which, even in Gerard's crappy mood, drove him crazy with curiosity of the reason behind it.

"He thinks the same." Gerard said not knowing what to add

"So are you going to be there too?" he asked smiling broadly like it was the funniest shit ever.

Gerard thought this over in advance as well

"Yeah I think I can make it. But I'll arrive a bit late if that's okay. You can hang out with Gerard till then." He explained. Though, of course, that wasn't going to be the case in reality.

"Yeah man it's totally cool. I'll be hanging out by the bar. You can tell that to Gerard so he can find me." he said still looking him directly in his eyes. Gerard averted his eyes not out of shyness or anything, the stare was just getting a bit uncomfortable for his taste.

"No problem." He shrugged again not really knowing what to add. Suddenly Frank's face dropped and turned serious

"Okay man what's going on?" he asked in a quieter tone full of genuine worry

"What?" Gerard played dumb though he saw that Frank was onto him

"Something's clearly bothering you today, you seem kind of… distant." Frank squinted his eyes trying to find the right word "Did I say or do something? Cause you know I-" he asked concerned and Gerard finally spoke up

"No no Frank, it's nothing you did or said don't worry. It's another thing that uh…" Gerard started to stutter feeling slightly awkward going about this business

"It's okay dude, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Frank said holding his hands up showing that he wasn't going to pry him.

"It's alright, I can say, it's not a secret or anything." He laughed it off, though it was a bit forced "I… I kinda lost a member of my family a month ago. Well actually, it was exactly one month ago. And we were really close so I guess I just got a bit worked up about it." Gerard shrugged looking down on the table tapping his fingers mindlessly on the table as a nervous habit. When he saw another, colorful hand cover his own and gently squeeze it reassuringly.

"I'm so sorry… I… I should've realized-"Frank started apologizing again and Gerard interrupted him once more

"You didn't know dude, it's okay." Gerard said with a light laugh "really" he added nodding. Frank still had his hand over his. Gerard felt his thumb lightly trailing over his wrist in a soothing manner and gave in to the feeling rather than getting embarrassed and pushing his hand away.

"Hey how about we go outside for a smoke, it's on me." Frank offered, going back to his usual excited self. "That is if we can trust those guys to keep an eye on our stuff." He added motioning with his head towards the workers.

"I'd love one and yeah don't worry they will." Gerard said with the most genuine smile today and stood up from his seat, putting on his jacket.

They made their way out of the bookshop and Frank offered him a cigarette just like he promised, he even lit it and everything. The weather outside wasn't that bad, it was still cloudy and sort of grey like usual but at least it wasn't too cold for them to stand outside for some time. They spent the first minute of being there in silence. A comfortable one though. Gerard sucked in the poison, feeling it reach his lungs and then suddenly calming him, like he was blowing out his worries and stress instead of the smoke.

"You still look pretty grim." Frank observed after some time staring at Gerard who was leaning on the grey concrete wall.

"Yeah well… I guess there's just a lot on my mind."

"Maybe you want to talk about some of those things?" Frank offered taking a drag himself while hollowing his cheeks like a god damn pornstar.

"I just really fuckin' miss her." Gerard said in one breath "Sometimes I still reach for the phone to call her when I draw something great or when I need some sort of advice and every fucking time it hits me that I can't, that I'd be calling an empty house, that she's not there and she never will be. I never realized just how much I needed her and how important she was until she was gone." Gerard had to cut himself short because of the lump that started clogging his throat painfully. Talking about this stuff was one thing, letting Frank see him cry was another and he wasn't going to let that happen.

Gerard didn't look at Frank the entire time he was speaking. He was just sort of staring at the ground, spitting out his grief and rage when Frank stepped in again. This time he covered Gerard with his entire body, embracing him in a tight hug since he couldn't find any words to comfort him.

Gerard returned the embrace instantly clutching onto Frank perhaps even a bit too tight, but he didn't hear any complains. His head fell to the crook of Frank's neck immediately as he breathed and tried to will all of those feelings that made him want to cry, away. Frank was dragging his hand up and down Gerard's back while his other was tightly fixed on his waist.

Gerard wanted to be like that for an entire hour if he could. He had forgotten over time how good it felt to be held by someone like that, to be near another person impossibly close like attempting to melt into each other and become one. The tingling in his stomach which later seemed to spread out throughout his entire body didn't have anything to do with arousal this time…

"It's gonna get better, trust me." Frank's voice was just above a whisper. His warm breath hit Gerard's neck just below his ear and all Gerard could do was nuzzle into Frank's neck crook even more to keep himself from bursting out crying pathetically. He nodded against his jacket and continued to stay in this embrace until Frank chose to let go of him. Luckily for him Frank held on for a good few minutes.

"Just think about tomorrow and how fucking awesome it's going to be. I mean I've never heard of the band but I guess if you like them then they must be good." Frank said after letting Gerard go but still keeping both hands on his shoulders. "And if they aren't we'll just ditch that place and have a lord of the rings marathon or something." Frank added smiling. Gerard let out a light laugh and sighed a bit shakily but his face looked brighter and had more color in it than before.

"Yeah okay we can do that." He said nodding and continuing to smile from ear to ear.

"Much better." Frank said more to himself than to Gerard pointing at his smile. And this time Gerard did get embarrassed and turned his gaze away to look at the ground. Though, he still felt Frank's gaze fixed on him and when Gerard looked up he was staring at him with a mixture with admiration and wonder. It was probably the most serious Gerard's ever seen him be. It was quite over whelming for Gerard, so overwhelming that he couldn't look away even if he was still embarrassed slightly.

"Maybe we should go inside already" Frank suggested finally breaking the gaze and looking towards the glass door. "Before that cashier starts looking through your laptop." He added as they both turned to go back inside

"I told you man, she doesn't even like me." Gerard said in a much livelier voice.

"Of course she does." Frank said confidently before opening the door and standing back to let Gerard through first "Who wouldn't?" he added winking at him comically.