A/N:
I don't usually do these, but due to the long absence, this needs to be here for a little while.
For those who have read this story in the past or haven't seen the summary recently, I have edited the first ten chapters of this story, and changes have been put into place, changes that will greatly affect this story. It would be recommended that you reread the story and give thoughts about what you think in the reviews. I do apologize for the extremely long wait for an update, but I do have a couple of chapters typed out and under reconstruction. I'll try to have this up and going as soon as I can with the summer up and coming.
A light glare filled my azure eyes as Casey, Erol, and I entered the Palace throne room, feeling out of place once again. The second I entered the oversized room, I noticed the Baron standing near the window once again, staring down at the city he, unfortunately, called his own. It was completely silent between the three of us during our travel here, mostly on my part as Casey tried to make some small talk with Erol – she was hoping she would say something that would bring me into the conversation, but it did not work. Instead, only the sound of our boots against the carpet was heard for most and nothing else.
It was more or less an awkward and possibly uncomfortable silence between Erol and I, since I was still thinking about how he had unconsciously called me beautiful, only for it to trigger a rather unexpected happy memory from our past, one I had not recalled in many years. Casey appeared much calmer than the both of us, seemingly more relaxed and laidback than awkward, yet she was still curious about what had happened. I was unable to hear the conversation that they had when I waited for them outside, but when they came through, Erol did not really say anything about it, and Casey told me not to worry. In a way, it was as if she had paid no mind to the situation that had taken place mere moments ago and played it off as if it were just a dream. I would have been bothered by her strange ways about not reacting in a more appropriate manner, but instead I did not seem to care less about what she thought anymore. It was none of my business to know what went on in that head of hers, and frankly I did not want to find out.
As we approached Praxis' demonic form, he turned his head over toward us, sending us - more to me than Erol and Casey - a casual, yet menacing looking smirk. My eyes narrowed even more at the sight of him, holding back every urge to just take him out just like I always wanted to do since Damas' banishment years ago. I sensed Casey put on an indifferent aura as she watched the Baron, but even then I could tell she did not like him all that much either. In fact, she probably matched my hatred for him perfectly, but did not voice it the way I did on a consistent occasion. It was to make sure he did not forget, and forget he did not. Unlike me, she actually needed a job to support herself (and maybe her family, if she had any), and saying anything against the Baron would probably get her fired, or worse killed off without a second thought. Then again, her carefree attitude was very much prominent, especially when it came to the Baron's authority over her and other people of the city. Has she been working with the Baron long enough to no longer care about her own job? It was possible, but not likely. She was not stupid enough to say something against Praxis at the expense of losing her job or her life.
However, it was as I said before; I did not want to find out what went on in that head of hers.
"Ah, glad to see you could make it, Ciara," Praxis spoke in a mock endearing tone, turning around to face us fully. "And without resistance, I see."
I stopped walking along with Erol and Casey, all while glaring at him still.
"Of course," I responded. "As much as I would love to go against your every wish, I currently have no power at the moment." I paused. "Still, it would be better if I was locked away in that prison cell than to be hear speaking to you."
He chuckled, making me growl for just a moment, before he said, "What a shame. I thought you would be happy to be out of that cell after twenty-four long hours."
"Yes," I spoke in a sarcastic, mischievous tone of voice, giggling briefly after recalling my brief time in the prison cell before heading to bed. "What a...shame..." Praxis noticed my change of attitude, but paid no mind to it as I continued, "So...what is it that you wish to speak to me about? It must be important if you had to send your Commander all the way down to the fortress to get me."
He looked back out the window for a long moment, making me wait for his reply like the bastard he was, before looking back at me once again.
"I have a bit of a...proposition...for you, young fugitive," he told me. "One that I think will be good for the both of us in the end."
I crossed my arms over my chest and raised a suspicious eyebrow
"And what, my good man, would that be?" I asked sneeringly, choosing against playing oblivious.
He was able to sense my reaction and chuckled.
"By the tone of your voice," he stated, "it sounds as if you already know what I wish to ask of you." I chose not to nod at his words, but I gave him a look that agreed with his assumption. He simply chuckled before saying, "Then tell me."
"It's not that hard to figure out, Praxis," I hissed, venom dripping off my voice as I spoke his name. "You wish for me to rejoin your pathetic Krimzon Guard once again, use me for your own benefit against the Metal Head armies that may once again break through the city walls." I paused for thought. "Or...you wish to finish what you started on me ten years ago; the DWP. Whichever comes first..."
He chuckled again; looks like I was right.
"The first one is true, no doubt about that," he responded, slowly making his way over to us, "and the second..." He shrugged, "well, it's on my list of possible things to do while you're around."
I rolled my eyes, but kept my anger at bay.
"I say no...to both of them," I told him sternly, shifting my weight onto my left leg. "There's no way I would allow myself to join your pathetic excuse of an army again, especially after what you put me through!"
To annoy me further, he laughed at my words.
"We were so close with you, Ciara, and you know it." He taunted. It only pissed me off even further. "The Dark Warrior Program would have made you the perfect weapon against those Metal Heads, if you had not interrupted us at the last second!"
"I'm not some toy you can play around with and poke sticks at, Praxis!" I shouted, unable to contain my anger. My arms fell to their sides, and I sood up straight. "I happen to be a human being and would like to live a little longer! Besides, there is no way I would ever, ever, join this army ever again knowing you're still in command around here, using people as your play things in your Precursor forsaken program!" I paused briefly to calm myself and looked away, yet the anger still surrounded me like a cloud over a mountain top. After a moment, I looked back at him, keeping the harsh scowl. "My leader, no, Haven's true leader, has always been Damas. I will find a way to take you off the throne that you stole from him! Even if it means," I pointed to him as my eyes hardened, "killing you in the process!"
The gazes of Erol, Casey, and the Baron were fixated on me as I returned my hand back to my side, standing tall with pride against the worthless excuse of a leader that ruled over Haven. Each one was different than the other, which did not exactly surprise me all that much. Erol had a look that remained calm and collected during the tense argument, but he was slightly taken aback by my outburst and choice of words against the dictator. Casey seemed to have a more confident expression, holding back the smile that begged to show itself; it showed that she strongly agree with my words, but was less inclined to voice them herself. Praxis just looked at me with a dull, yet harden expression, one I seemed to have grown used over the years. His stare did not frighten me nor did mine threaten him. We simply stood there, staring one another down like hawks searching for prey, waiting for the other to crack under the intense gaze. It was clear neither of us were going to back down anytime soon, but neither of us really cared. It proved just how strong I could really be despite the difference in size in comparison. Fortunately, someone else other than one of us decided to break the tension between us.
"Um...Baron Praxis, sir?" Casey spoke up, raising her hand slightly in order to catch his attention. The both of us looked over at her simultaneously, the look in our eyes unwavering, and I could have sworn she shivered briefly at the sight. She cleared her throat before continuing with what she had to say. "If I may...I would like to make a suggestion of my own to add onto your proposition Ciara." I would have glared at her, but the look on her face suggested she had an idea.
"And what did you have in mind, Casey," he inquired, oblivious to the fact that she was thinking.
She placed her hands behind her back in a rather relaxed manner.
"I don't think she should join the Krimzon Guard," she told him right off the bat. I would have thanked her for the words, if she did not continue. "However, I would like to...convince her into joining the force again. At a later time, of course." What...? "Simply asking her or forcing her to join simply won't do, sir, especially with someone as hard-headed and stubborn as Ciara. I believe if she stayed a few days or a few weeks outside of her cell and was treated with...well, some respect, she may see things a little differently and change her mind about the decision." She looked at me, noticing the harsh scowl, before placing a hand on my shoulder and looking back at Praxis. "So far, she's been drugged, dropped, nearly choked to death," Erol must have told her about yesterday, "and emotionally stressed out. That's no way to make a guest feel, Praxis, especially when you want her amongst your army once again. They should be treated with the utmost respect and taken care of for however long they are around."
Baron simply looked at her; as far as I knew, he was not liking where Casey was going.
"Ciara may be used for the Dark Warrior Program, depending on how well she behaves herself," Praxis stated. I glared at him once again. "Why would I treat her as a guest when she is just an experiment?"
Casey raised a finger.
"Ah, ah, ah, that's not what she is, my good man," she remarked, as if she were a mother scolding a child. I blinked once before she spoke, "I would like to refer to her as...a patient."
I glanced at her again, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Come again?" I questioned in a low tone.
Casey glanced at me for a few seconds before looking back at the Baron once again.
"Yes, my patient, to be exact," she continued. "You see, Ciara has been through a lot of emotional turmoil for the past several years, as you may have noticed, and it sounded as if I needed to come in and help her overcome these problems. There are many...issues that need to be resolved in her life, and she has already agreed to let me help her." She allowed Praxis to take in the information for a moment. "Since that happens to be the case, I don't think putting her through such a traumatizing event again would be one of the best ideas."
I glanced at Praxis to notice his eyes narrowed a bit.
"What are you trying to say, Casey," he inquired. "That I should let her free as your patient?"
"Exactly, sir!" She exclaimed, smiling like a little child. "If she were my patient and placed under my care, she would have the freedom she desires and needs. Not only that," She smirked, "it will give me the opportunity to change her mind about joining the Krimzon Guard once more, since I know how great an asset she was to the army."
I glared at her once again and angrily whispered, "What the Hell are you trying to do?"
She simply looked at me, her smile growing ever so slightly before looking back at the Baron, who simply watched her intently as he thought on the plan that was presented to her.
Silence soon enveloped us as I lightly glared at the therapist, while she kept her calm, cool-looking gaze toward Praxis. What the Hell is she thinking, I thought. Joining the Krimzon Guard was something I vowed never to do again, no matter how much Praxis begged. I had made the mistake once of joining in the beginning, but there was no way I was going down that path again, no matter what the consequences happened to be. The looks Casey gave me, however, told me she had a complete. fortified plan in her mind. If that was the case, then what in the name of the Precursors was it? Was she only telling the Baron what he wanted to hear just so she could keep me out of my cell? It was a good possibility, that was for sure. Knowing my strong hatred for the Baron, there was no way she would allow me to go through such pain and torture without having some kind of plan in mind. Unfortunately, her eyes gave no clear sign, no message, to let me know things were going to be alright and work in my favor - or in this case, our favor.
After another long moment of silence, the Baron started to laugh a bit and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You know," he finally spoke, "that...doesn't sound like a bad idea from my standpoint."
Casey nodded, keeping a casual expression on her face.
"Yes," she agreed. "I figured since she is going through so much turmoil, it is keeping her from joining our beloved ranks as a Krimzon Guard again." Way to know how to woo the Baron, you bastard. "If we give her the required help she needs, maybe it will persuade her into joining the army again and help us eliminate those bastard Metal Heads once and for all!"
At that point, the Baron laughed even more at her words. Giving up on what Casey had in mind, I decided to look over at Erol to see what he thought of the whole situation. Surprisingly, he was looking at me as well, but had a bit of a spaced out expression on his face. Half of his mind remained with the conversation at hand, while the other was just gone. I blinked once before looking away.
"I like where you're going with this, therapist," Praxis said, making me look at him. "As much as I could care less about what "turmoil" this fugitive is going through, as long as she joins my ranks once more and finishes the Dark Warrior Program, I could care less." He paused before nodding. "Alright, you've got yourself a deal. Take all the time you need, but it better not be too much."
Casey silently glanced at Erol, then at me, and back at the Baron.
"I would like to have a few weeks, if that is alright with you, sir," she requested, placing her hands at her hips. "I've become quite acquainted with the fugitive already, but a few more weeks should do the trick."
The Baron shook his head.
"I'll give you a month," he told her. Then, he looked at me, that hard look appearing in his eyes again. "Knowing her, she'll be difficult to crack."
Casey giggled.
"It's like you said, sir..." She smiled, but I could easily see it was fake. "I can take all the time I need."
"What the Hell is the matter with you?!" I finally snapped in the hallways as Erol and Casey started to lead me to a spare room the Baron decided to give to me, which happened to be near Casey's room. "What the Hell did you just do?!" All the pent up anger that was welling up inside of me since that conversation was now being taken out on the therapist. Oddly enough, she did not seem to mind at all. In fact, she appeared to have expected it to happen at some point.
Said therapist glanced over her shoulder and looked at me, her violet eyes staring into my angered and enraged azure orbs, with a smile gracing her lips.
"It's just as you saw and heard, Ciara." She said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You will be getting the 'treatment' you need before joining the Krimzon Guard for the next few weeks or so." Her smile grew. "I do have all the time in the world."
"What kind of plan is that?!" I shouted in response. "You expect me to join the Krimzon Guard after you help me? You traitor!"
"No, I'm not a traitor, first of all," she explained in a much calmer tone than mine. "And second, I'm not really going to convince you to do anything else but tell me about your past. You should know that by now. I know you don't want to join the army again with the Baron in control, so I won't force you like he wants and thinks."
I glared at her and asked, "So what was all that about back there?" My arms crossed over my chest. "It sounded like you were only saying those things just to get the Baron on his good side for once."
She shrugged.
"That was one reason, yes," she responded truthfully, "but it's also to get you out of that cell and keep away from your memories of the past." I knew what she was referring to, but silently acknowledged her words. "Not only that, but I have an idea on how to heal and mend your relationship with-"
"Absolutely not," I interrupted her instantly, a glare filling my eyes. "I have absolutely no intentions to ever become...ireacquainted/i with the Commander." Erol glanced at me, but said nothing in response.
Casey, however, put on a serious expression and looked forward once again.
"You two have been reacquainted since yesterday, Ciara," she pointed out, "so there's no running away from it. Besides, from the way I see it, both of your lives are completely unbalanced and irregular. Without each other, you're lives are in...well, deep shit, for lack of a better term. I'm simply suggesting you two need one another in order to re-balance your lives and make them...complete."
I looked away from her.
"Count me out," I responded, crossing my arms over my chest. "I would rather keep my life unbalanced than to make the same mistake a third time."
She groaned with annoyance.
"You're so stubborn," she told me. "If you keep your life the way it is, you'll never be happy again." She looked at me; there was a strange look in her eyes, one that I was, surprisingly, unable to read. "Do you really wish to be unhappy for rest of your life?"
"So far, I've been unhappy for ten long years," I explained to her, glancing at her for only a brief moment. "I think I can handle the rest of my life being the same way."
At that point, she suddenly stopped walking, allowing Erol and I to walk past her without even realizing she had stopped dead in her tracks. It was not until we both looked over and found ourselves looking at each other that we realized she was not there. Immediately, we also stopped and turned around to look at her, wondering why she had stopped walking. The sight that stood before my eyes nearly made my jaw drop. Casey's teal bangs were shielding her violet eyes as her head lowered a bit, hiding her near pale face in complete shadow. Her body seemed to freeze instantly, almost as if she were a zombie that had been reawakened from the dead. In a way, it actually started to frighten me a little. It was not like her to act the way she was acting so suddenly. Clearly, it was something I had said, and when I thought about it, it was not hard to figure out what it was.
"No, you can't," she said, her voice lower than what I was used to hearing. "Living life as an unhappy person...is the worst way to live." I blinked once at her words as she continued, "It can greatly affect the people around you, the people you care about the most. Not only that, but it can affect you, change you entirely. Anybody could take advantage of your unhappiness and use it to make you even more miserable than before. That's what I believe, anyway, and I don't want that to happen to you...not again."
My eyes narrowed a bit as I stared at her, my gloved hands falling upon my hips.
"Why would you care about what happens to me, Casey?" I questioned. "I only just met you yesterday, so there should be no reason for you to become so upset about how I choose to live my life, whether I choose to fuck it up or not."
"It doesn't matter how long I've known you, Ciara!" She retorted, raising her voice slightly as well as her head. "What matters is being unhappy can greatly affect how you live and change you into something completely different than what people are used to seeing you as. The people you love will turn their backs on you and leave you behind, making you become more depressed and unhappy as time goes on." She paused a moment. "I only care about what happens to you..." She looked at me, "because I've been unhappy for as long as I can remember. I know what it feels like, and it's something no one should ever have to go through."
My eyes widened at her words, shocked to hear something like that escape her lips. Casey, of all the people in the world I knew, was unhappy?
No, I told myself, that's impossible. There was no possible way someone as sarcastic, laid back and carefree as Casey could be unhappy. It did not seem like her style. She was able to put a genuine smile on her face and make people see otherwise; as far as I knew, sadness was not in her vocabulary. Yet there she was, standing in front of Erol and I with her head hanging low, voice dangerously close to a whisper, and an all around look of unhappiness. This is not her, I thought. It was not the Casey who had woken me up by yelling at me and throwing clothes in my face as means of saying good morning. She was not the one who became my therapist without permission and demanded I tell her about my personal past. She was not the one who treated me fairly, despite me treating her as if she were nothing but a waste of time. Instead, she was a completely different person, someone I had never seen before. Yet, despite knowing her for only a short amount of time, I felt pity toward her. Someone like her should not have felt unhappy when she did not have a reason. Whatever happened back then had to be important to make her the way she was when I looked at her now. She looked so fragile, almost as if she would break if pushed hard enough towards the edge of insanity.
Suddenly, a strange emotion came over me, a familiar feeling: it was as if I knew exactly how she felt...as if she were my reflection in a mirror.
After another moment, she looked back up at us, putting on a big grin, and walked past us with a bit of a pep to her step. Surprisingly, it looked to be completely genuine, as if she had not said anything to either of us at all. Erol and I simply watched her walk past us, turning around to notice her stop again before turning around.
"Well, here we are!" She beamed, point to her left in reference. I glanced in her direction to find a door sitting right smack in our faces. "This is going to be your room from now on." She paused as she noticed the light glare forming in my eyes. "And don't worry, Praxis didn't pick the room. I did. It belonged to an old female Krimzon Guard a couple months back, but she was killed in action. I decided to put you in her room so you can come visit me whenever you want, since I'm just down the hall, and vice versa!"
I slowly glanced back at her, her smile remaining on her face the entire time as she punched in the number and unlocked the door - fortunately, she told me the code before we got here, so if it locked I could just open it again. It actually frightened me a bit, but I chose not to show it. Although I wanted to question her strange, bipolar-ish attitude, but I decided against speaking about it. For the first time in years, I did not want to see someone as upset and unhappy as she was. For the first time in years, her sadness broke my own heart of steel and ice.
"Thanks..." I muttered, lowering my head a bit in the process.
With a small bounce in her step, she walked past the both of us, walking toward what I presumed to be the direction of her room.
"No problem," she called behind her. "If you want to talk to me, my room is down this hall, first door on the right. It's not that far at all! I'll see you later tonight so we can keep our deal intact!"
With that, she walked off toward the direction of her room, leaving behind Erol and I to watch her leave. I watched her for another moment before slowly looking up at the Commander. Surprisingly, he also looked back at me the same time. We stood there, watching each other intently without saying a word. I could tell that he was unsure as to what to say, and I knew that I did not really know what to talk about. A long, awkward silence fell between us, neither of us saying a word in order to strike up a conversation. Since I did not feel like speaking to him at the moment, especially after the awkward events from before, I decided to check out my new room. He, on the other hand, looked as if he wanted to say something, but it just would not come out and voice itself. After another long moment of silence between us, a sigh escaped my lips before a ran a hand through my bangs, preparing to turn toward the door and enter.
"You wanna know something," he finally spoke, his eyes never wavering from me.
I stopped myself from moving toward the door, though it looked like I was just standing there the whole time, and chose to keep staring at the ground.
"What?" I inquired, leaving out the harshness that I had just last night.
"She reminds me of someone I know very well," he pointed out. I glanced up at him, staring into his amber eyes for a long moment, before shaking my head. I would have smiled at the comment, but I forced myself not to do it.
"Yeah," I responded. "Me too..."
Erol stared at me for another long moment, before sighing and saying, "Listen, Ciara, I wanna apologize..." I looked towards my door. "You know, about calling you..."
"I know what you mean," I interrupted him, looking back at him once more. "Don't...don't worry about it..." After another moment of silence, he laughed a bit. I tilted my head to one side. "What is it?"
"To be honest, I...I remembered something about that moment that...happened to be a good memory of the past," he answered. "I wondered if...you remembered it, too."
I continued to stare at him for another long moment, before once again looking toward my door. I did not have to think about it to know what he was thinking.
"I do," I muttered, "but...it's a memory I'd rather not remember." Erol gave me a confused look, as if silently asking why. I lightly glared at his obliviousness, before sighing and walking towards my door. "Why should I remember a time when I was actually happy," I spoke as the door slid open, "if it was you who had made me that way in the first place? After everything that had happened, why should I look back on the times that you made me feel...happy?"
With those words out of the way, I entered my room in silence, leaving behind the dumbfounded Commander behind to repeat my words in his head. It was a shame I had to recall a moment of my life when that man actually made me happy. Now that I thought on it again, I knew for sure that specific memory would come back to haunt me no matter how much I wished to for it to leave my mind. Now only that, but since I was out of the prison, I would surely see Erol more frequently. That, and sooner or later Casey will go poking around asking about us. Who knew when those days would come and go? Frankly, as much as I knew that a deal was a deal, I wished it would never come. In fact, I wished all of the memories about him and I would just vanish completely, so I would never have to be in anymore pain than I already was and had to be in.
A sigh escaped my lips as the door shut completely behind me. If only I had a cold enough heart to mean those words...
