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The following week at school, Katie could barely contain herself when Jessie was around. Her smile had become very hard to miss when Jessie was in her presence. Every time the younger girl was near Katie, she be overcome with emotion just thinking about that night they had shared together. When Katie would look at Jessie, every memory about that night would come flooding back to her and she wanted to take hold of Jessie in front of everyone and pronounce her undying love for this girl. But she knew she couldn't do that. Not yet. Someday, though. Someday. That night had completely changed everything for them. Whatever they had felt for each other before had now been multiplied by ten.
Both girls were completely, undeniably in love with each other. Just the looks they would give each other, whether they lasted 5 seconds, or five minutes, were enough to know that these two were entirely serious about each other. A simple touch between the two became increasingly difficult for them because neither girl wanted to let go. They'd steal kisses in the dark corners of the school as often as they could, but it was never enough for them. Their school day was usually followed by a hour-long makeout session in Katie's car, which was usually parked far enough away so no one would catch them. Thoughts of what happened between them would constantly swarm around their heads. In the middle of one of their intense makeout sessions, Jessie would start smiling out of nowhere and Katie knew. She knew Jessie was thinking about that night. Katie had gotten that same grin on her face whenever she thought about it. But neither girl was too much of a hurry to repeat that night. It was perfect as it was and a wonderful memory to hold on to for the time being. And it certainly brought them much closer together, but they both figured it was better to take their time. They had the rest of their lives to create more nights like that.
The entire week, Jessie had been carrying around a letter she had written to Katie the morning she woke up in her arms. After Katie left that day, Jessie couldn't stop thinking about everything, so she decided to get at least some of what she was feeling down on paper. But she hadn't had the guts to give Katie the letter yet. By the end of the week, Jessie bit the bullet and decided to slip the letter into Katie's locker. During the 2nd passing period, Jessie walked up to Katie's locker and double checked to make sure it said 339. God knows she didn't want ANYONE else reading this letter. She pulled the folded letter out of her bag and looked at it for a moment. Katie's name was written on the outside of it. She talked herself into it and slipped the letter into the locker. She walked off feeling satisfied that she had the courage to do that. She wasn't one who usually puts her emotions out there, but Katie brought this out of her. As Jessie headed to her next class, she failed to notice that the letter didn't make it into the locker all the way. It was significantly sticking out and someone had taken notice of this, walked up to the locker, pulled the letter out, obviously didn't care that it was meant for Katie, and opened up the letter.
Dear Katie,
I've started this letter several times already and must have thrown away
at least 15 first drafts. Yes. You can laugh at me. It's okay. I guess
somehow you've managed to push out all other thoughts inside my head
because all I think about is you. You've completely consumed my mind
and now I'm at a loss for words because instead of articulating what I want
to say, all I can see is your face. And the words just slip away from me.
And all I can hear is your voice and then I forget what I was going to say.
All I can think about is us. And that amazing night we had together. All I
can think of is your body pressed up against mine and how innocence collided
with discovery and I know now nothing will be the same again. And I'm glad.
I've lost all control of myself. I've forgotten what that feels like. I've forgotten
what it feels like to breathe on my own when I'm around you because everything
just seems to stop when we're together. I've forgotten what it was like to
completely trust someone until I met you. I've forgotten what it feels like to
just be happy. And now you remind me every day of what that feels like.
The moment we woke up in each others arms after making love -- that was
when I knew. I'd do anything for you, Katie. And I will always be here for
you no matter what. I never thought I could feel this way. You seem to bring
out the best in me. I love you so much, Katie. And I know I always will.
This summer is going to be so amazing. I want to do everything with you…
that is if you don't mind having some little sophomore following you around.
I wouldn't want to damage your precious reputation.
So I guess this is me -- professing my love to you. So now it's down on paper.
It's out there. Take it for what you will. Now you'll always know and if you
ever doubt me or doubt us, you can just read this letter and be reminded of the
love I have for you.
In love with you always,
Jessie
After reading this, the letter became wrinkled by the hands of the reader as their fingers crumpled the paper. Tad stared at the note in disbelief. It was still sinking in what he had just read. The crumpling so much an act of anger, but more of shock. He knew he shouldn't have read the letter, but now that he had, he decided Katie had some serious explaining to do. He took the letter, put it in his pocket and headed toward his next class.
"Hey Singer!" Tad finally caught up with Katie at lunch time. He wanted to grab her before she met up with Jessie.
Katie turned around. "Oh, hey Tad. What's up?"
"I need to talk to you about something. In private." He began to pull Katie out of the cafeteria and into an empty hallway.
"Umm…I kind of have to eat, Tad."
"Yeah, well WE kind of have to talk, Katie." Tad looked around to see if anyone may be listening. Then he pulled the letter out of his pocket and threw it at Katie.
"I think this belongs to you," said Tad.
Katie opened up the letter and began to read it. She stopped after the first three sentences and looked up at Tad.
"Where did you get this?"
"It doesn't matter," replied Tad.
"Actually, yeah. It does matter. Who gave this to you?"
Tad rolled his eyes. "No one. Okay? No one gave it to me. It was sticking out of your locker, so I grabbed it."
Katie was reeling from Tad's nonchalant approach about the subject. "So you took something that was addressed to ME from MY locker and you read it?"
"I saw Jessie put it in there."
"What difference does that make?" asked Katie, incredulously.
Tad looked down and immediately felt stupid about the words that came out of his mouth. "I….I thought maybe she said something about me in the letter. I was just curious."
"Tad…"
"But I was wrong. Boy was I wrong," said Tad.
"Tad…I don't even know what to say." Katie was at a loss for words. She was furious at Tad for reading the letter, but in a way, she also felt guilty. Tad was one of her best friends and she knew how much he liked Jessie. Still, this sense of guilt didn't calm her anger much. Tad was silent. Katie took this moment to read the rest of the letter so she could understand the full extent of what exactly Tad knew. And after finishing the letter, it appeared Tad knew everything. Katie's anger died down a bit once she read the words Jessie had so sweetly written to her. Katie couldn't understand how that girl could melt her heart just by using ink and a piece of lined paper. She wanted to run away from Tad. She wanted to go find Jessie and tell her that she felt the exact same way. But she knew she had to stay and talk to Tad.
"So," continued Katie. "You know."
Tad nodded.
"Look, before we get into anything, you have to promise me, swear up and down that you will not tell anyone about this, okay? Promise me."
"I promise. I wouldn't do that to you, Katie. You know that. But what I want to know is why? I mean, you're beautiful, your smart and popular. You could get anyone you want in this school. Why Jessie? You knew how much I liked her."
Katie winced a bit at the pain in Tad's voice. "I know. Tad, I know you liked her. But something happened between Jessie and I. Something that just doesn't happen every day. And it doesn't happen to everyone. I would try to explain it, but Jessie's letter pretty much sums it up. I'm…I'm in love with her, Tad. I have been for a while now. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have, but we wanted to keep this to ourselves for a while. We just…we're not ready to see how everyone else is going to react."
Tad nodded. It was finally starting to sink in for him. He looked at his friend and knew she was feeling bad about this. "Well, I could tell from the letter that she obviously only has eyes for you. This just sucks, you know? I just wish you had told me sooner. I mean, I was gonna ask her to the prom."
Katie looked at Tad. "The prom? Really? Tad, the prom is like two weeks away. Don't you think that would have been cutting it kind of close? For all you knew she could have had a date already."
"Does she?" Tad grinned at Katie
"Uh…well…not exactly."
"Really?"
"Look, Tad I'm really sorry about this. You know I'd never do anything to deliberately hurt you, right?"
"Yeah, I know." He went in to hug Katie and as he reached his arms out, Katie lightly punched him in the gut.
"That's for reading my letter, jerk off." Tad grabbed his stomach and looked at Katie. Katie smiled and hugged Tad. "Come here. I'm sorry. I just had to do it. That'll teach you not to go through my stuff."
Tad held his friend in a long embrace. "Katie?"
"Yeah." Katie's head was leaning on Tad's shoulder.
"You wanna tell me, in great detail, all about the sex you two had?"
Katie pushed Tad off of her and pulled him down into a headlock. "You are such a perv!" She managed to wrestle him to the ground and held both his arms.
"I give! I give!" yelled Tad.
"I can't hear you!"
"I give!"
"I'm sorry, in this situation, you're gonna have to tap out," said Katie, relying on the slight knowledge she had of UFC.
Tad tapped her leg with his hand and she helped him up.
"So…are we okay?" asked Katie.
"Yeah. We're okay. I'm just glad you're happy. You really have seemed a lot happier lately. Now I know why."
"And you swear you won't say a word to anyone."
"I swear."
"All right. See ya, Tad." Katie walked back into the cafeteria looking for Jessie. She decided not to tell Jessie about Tad just yet. She didn't want to stress her out at school. She played it cool and said she hadn't been to her locker yet, so Jessie would think she hadn't read the letter yet. Meanwhile, Katie was just beaming inside knowing how much Jessie cared for her.
When Katie walked through her door that night, she caught a glimpse of something very rare. Her father was home. He was sitting on the couch waiting for Katie to come home. A knot began to form in Katie's stomach. She knew something had to be going on if her dad was actually home before 11pm.
"Hi Katie."
"Dad." Katie put her backpack down and stood there nervously.
"Come in. Sit down, sweetie." Katie cringed when her father called her 'sweetie.' She always felt he never had the right to call her any pet names. He was never around enough to earn that right. And when he was around, he sure as hell didn't show any interest in Katie. At least not anymore. Katie walked in and sat on the couch.
"Sweetie, there's something that we need to talk about."
To be continued….
