Ok, so what's up everybody? I am so sorry it took me so long to update, but I just have been really busy and I had some writer's block... But it's here now! And to make up for such the long wait, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow morning to make up for it!

OH MY GOSH EVERYBODY! I AM ONE AWAY FROM REACHING 100 REVIEWS! I am so happy and proud, I can't even begin to explain it. I know this is alot to ask, but if you could help me get to 100, I will be eternally grateful. PLEASE help me get there!

Disclaimer: Darn, I don't own Big Time Rush.


When they got back to apartment 2J, James went straight to bed. He had been going to bed early since he gets so tired, and everyone was starting to get used to it. Tonight, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan decided to follow him and they, too, went to bed.

The next day, James got up early and made himself a bowl of cereal. He brought it to the couch and flipped on some cartoons, but he was hardly paying attention. He liked waking up early when no one else did. He gave him time to be alone and think. He knew that he hadn't fully accepted and absorbed his diagnosis, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before he did. And it would not be pretty.


Kendall, Carlos, and Logan took James go-karting that day. They spent all day racing around the track and James had a smile on the whole time and for awhile it was three weeks ago, when everything was the way it was supposed to be. They didn't tell the kids at the Palm Woods about James' cancer, he didn't want anyone to know about it just yet.

The day after they went go-karting, James had his appointment at the L.A.C.C.

"C'mon, James!" Mrs. Knight yelled in the apartment. "We're going to be late!"

James sighed and got up from his spot on the couch. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and Katie got up to and walked him to the door. Katie stared at him and tears welled up in her eyes. It was hard for her to see James like this, scared and vulnerable. James saw the tears and kneeled down and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Katie? Sometimes times get rough and it's hard for us," James said softly. "So, we forget how lucky we really are. Please don't forget how lucky you are."

Katie stared at James before responding. "I promise I won't forget."

James smiled and stood back up. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan gave him a look filled with awe and appreciation and watched as James walked out the door.


"Hi, I'm Jennifer Knight and I have an appointment for James Diamond," Mrs. Knight said to the receptionist at the front desk.

"Oh, yes, the doctor will be right with you. Please, have a seat," the lady said.

Mrs. Knight smiled and led James over to the waiting room. They sat down and Mrs. Knight reached over to the table and grabbed a magazine. James just sat there with his hands in his lap, looking around nervously. Five minutes passed, then ten.

"Where is he?" James said.

"He'll be here soon, sweetie. Just be patient," Mrs. Knight said, not looking up from her magazine.

"Am I going to be ok?"

Mrs. Knight put down her magazine and looked at James. "James, dear, I don't know why bad things happen to good people. But I do know that everything happens for a reason, this has a reason. I don't know what it is or when we'll find out, but something good will come from this. But you have to patient and wait for it, or it might never come."

"But why? Why did it have to be me?"

"I don't know, James, I wish I did. I wiah it was me instead of you, I don't like seeing you like this. But it's still you, not me, but I want you to know tht we will all be here for you no matter what. You are not alone, James."

"Thanks, Mama Knight."

Mrs. Knight smiled and reached over to hug James. He accepted and when they pulled away, they saw a man with brown hair, average size walk into the room.

"James Diamond?" he asked.

"That's me," James said as he stood up. The doctor went over to shake his hand and then Mrs. Knight's.

"I'm Doctor Grant Anderson and I'll be your doctor at the L.A.C.C. Would you please come with me to my office?" Dr. Anderson said. James and Mrs. Knight nodded and Dr. Anderson turned and led them to his office.

"Please, have a seat," Dr. Anderson said as he signaled to the chairs in front of his desk when they got to his office. James and Mrs. Knight took a seat and the doctor did the same behind his desk.

"Um, Dr. Garrison called and briefed me on your condition. ALL, am I correct?" Dr. Anderson said.

"Yes, I was diagnosed almost a week ago. Dr. Garrison said that chemotherapy would be my best option. He also said that this was the best place to go," James replied.

"Well, we do have the best equipment and doctors. The L.A.C.C. strives to do whatever we can to help. And I agree with Dr. Garrison, the chemotherapy would probably work best in your specific situation."

"When do I start?"

"You need to start as soon as possible to get the best results. I would say Saturday."

James took in a sharp breathe. Saturday? Today was Wednesday, Saturday was only two days away. "What's going to happen exactly?"

"Well, James, you come to the hospital and we'll get you a room. We're going to hook you up to an IV and the medicine will get to you that way. Now, we want to make sure that you react to the chemo the way you should so I suggest you stay overnight, just for observation. The chemo will leave your immune system very, very weak, so for a couple of days after each session, you need to stay inside and not come in contact with many people to reduce the risk of infection."

"Alright, but um… uh…"

"What is it, James?"

"Am I going to… you know… lose my hair?"

"Well, while the chemotherapy kills the cancer cells, it will also kill the blood and hair cells in your body. There is no way to prevent it."

James felt his heart drop. This was going to be an absolute nightmare. "Will I still be able to perform and sing and do everything I could do?"

"You will be able to do most anything. But during the sessions, you will get very weak and sick. So for a few days after the session, you'll have to take it easy and recover. The chemo will probably make you nauseous and you might get sick. Even after the session, you might get tired much more easily or get sick. You cannot push yourself, James, you just can't."

James nodded and Dr. Anderson kept talking about something or another, but James wasn't listening. All he could think about was the side effects of the chemo. Once the chemo started, everyone would find out and nothing would be the same. His friends would treat him like a china doll, the kids at the Palm Woods would treat him like he was contagious, but Gustavo? Would Gustavo treat him the same or give him pity or what? If there was one thing James Diamond hated, it was pity. Compassion was one thing, but pity was a completely different matter.

Dr. Anderson kept talking for another half hour, explaining the procedures and possible risks. James and Mrs. Knight asked an occasional question or two, but for the most part, they stayed quiet. James wasn't really listening, he knew all he cared to know. He didn't care about the science of the chemotherapy or who first thought of it. All he knew was that his life was about to change forever.


Ok, so there it is. The last few days before his first chemo session is in the next chapter and after that? I'm not entirely sure. I have some ideas, but if you guys have any, PLEASE let me know! You can either give some to me in a review or you can PM me. If I use your idea, I'll be sure to give you a shout out!